Hello world.

1.       Police way of working – god, god, god – that was painful.

2.       Lack of proper way of communicating simple things – like – u could tell him, you went for gift and smile Bum, or… sth. Like, lmao why u cryin? Even Sangwoo’s egoisitcal ass was able to state more concerning communications.

3.       Convinient sleeping – Sangwoo’s cryin in bed – Bum sleepin, Sangwoo’s telling him the story of his life – Bum sleepin, but not sleepin too much – just to let himself to blop that precious dick

4.       Seungbae way of doing things – just… em. Go get em boy, go to the murderer house without anything, then destroy only evidence as your recording – for? And then close the door behind the guy to let him burn alive, cos its very protagonistic act. Very cool.

5.       GRANDMAS

6.       GRANDMAS AGAIN COS FUCK THAT

7.       Pacing the story – too much sex, not enough plot. I don’t need to see Bums butt again and again, cos I get it – very appealing stuff – but… em, no?

8.       Everyone wants to rape Bum, or is just irrationally mean to him – idk, is he smelly or sth? No one even once was just good for him, except (maybe) Seungbae – who gripped his injuried wrists and was very strangely questioning him in the bathroom, pushing him and placing a leg under him to let him fell. Seungbae was the nicest guy still in the crowd. Shame.

9.       Making the last chapter almost Nike commercial with all that running that Bum did. Run here, run there.

10.   Too many stuff that were convenient; taxi driver – deaf, woman in reception – deaf, grandma talking in the hallway casually how he choked the guy – O.K.

Hm, unfortunately, it’s not a continuation of analysis, but I would have to write a whole novel, so... I thought why not to try my strength in writing. (And I’m waiting for an ending!) It’s an alternative story – with different time placement. Chapter one is more setting up the rules of the whole thing. Maybe it would interest some of you. The story won’t be focusing on “Romance”. As pairings were set – I’m aiming more for “chemical reactions” than clear kissy, bushy thing. And for sure it will be slow burn XD

So – Sangwoo in my story is seventeen, and the one who takes the investigation of Sangwoo’s father suspicious suicide is not only Chief Kwak but Yang Seungbae too. And the second big difference is that – Eunseo didn’t kick the bucket. Enjoy!

I tried to check for any language flowers, and I hope I did a good job!  Synopsis;

That site sucks so much. Poor Koogi. And they do so much shit to her, not respecting story at all. Like - to not let woman work in her own pace at such complicated plot, for the fucking CLIMAX of entire serie. Im pissed XD Hope she will not put too much pressure over herself cos of the fans. Story be the story, but I hope that beauty artistic mind will create sth new someday in future- free from shackles of Lezhin. I wont spend a penny on that site after KS ends.

Ayz, u ppl r so nice, luvz :D

And I was thinking for some days already, about that bizarre plotline in the recent chapters, so I came up with theory – or more likely a perspective. I love Killing Stalking – but only psychological aspect of it – the part of investigation is… bad. Real bad. Still, plot holes are there to stick a finger in them. And I have a lot blabbering to do, so I suppose I won’t post it all at once XD Still, I’ll make kinda tl;dr to maybe at least announce what I have in mind and we will see how it goes.

So tl;dr – last chapters are (not 100% aware) Sangwoo suicide attempt, he did not “murder” Chief Kwak, he has inner demon fight – inside his head - Seungbae is something – and I will call it a villain.

And for the beginning – I’ll start with the analyse – what made Sangwoo to be in the situation he is right now, and why he called it upon himself. I’m saying that right now XD ill divide part one in two parts, because it will be long ass shit, and I will be crazy surprised if someone read one part in one go.

I will go for the more juicy plot holes later, after I make a point in that suicide of Sangwoo matter – because – in my opinion it is the opus magnum of that story.

PART I – SANGWOO CHARACTER ANALYSIS

Let’s start with Sangwoo. Within chapters in S3 its vivid that he cares no more about his wellbeing, he is not scared of death – he is scared of one particular way of dying – the painful one. Risky way of driving, talking about his crimes out loud, lack of joy in the thing that should provide some sort of warmness inside his broken heart.

I think Sangwoo after such traumas is divided between two personalities. Either it is some strange dissociative identity disorder, where the split is not fully achieved, but its present, or its very severe case of borderline disorder. Either way - I will assume – that indeed – inside his head lives two characters, which are fighting over leadership. And one of them is 90% of the time victorious. Let’s call him KILLER – that crazy, murderous personality, without empathy, full of himself – absolute and terrible monster. That “Killer” is the one who has hallucinations about his mother, that “Killer” believes he killed not only a mother, but a father too. That “KILLER” was created the day – when his mother put a knife in her throat, and is surviving till today. And that KILLER is the schizophrenic one – who hears bangs on the door, who reacts with aggression with every hallucination that appear. I’m pretty convinced that the first killings from Sangwoo – were not committed with the full sanity of the act. They were not accident, of course, but he was killing over and over his mother - then his mind needed to accustom to such horrific act. And the KILLER matured. Killings were most probably soothing shattered mind, he killed hallucination after hallucination – letting himself for a moment of peace – in such horrific manner.

And Bum was the one, who managed to snap the KILLER out of his mania – with very simple words. I love you. Because if mother of the KILLER was indeed loving him, even after rape, she wouldn’t die. She wouldn’t get the knife inside her throat. She wouldn’t reject him in such disgusting act. She hated him so much, she preferred death over letting herself love him. She would be still alive, alas KILLER wouldn’t be born.

And the KILLER stops. Bum survives.

But stopping the KILLER is way different story than overcoming him. He is pushing every way possible – to force Bum to hate him – testing him, trying him – and still like a child, who kicks his dog – he still expect that the dog will come back – lick his face, wiggle tail in happiness.  It’s not logical. But Sangwoo expect absolute love – even in the face of true terror.

Maybe because he regrets, he didn’t show his love to his mother – even during the most disgusting act – because he loved her unconditionally, and maybe – maybe if he didn’t complain – she would not reject him.

And KILLER is angry when Bum rejects him. But then, try after try, when our fucked up in the head Bum manage to still show his attachment to Sangwoo – the KILLER starts to shine less, and something old – something long forgotten is starting to look at Bum with different eyes. The moment of Bum attempted suicide is crucial moment, when the KILLER is for the moment gone. Hidden. Bum is trying to get rid of himself – not because he do not love Sangwoo – but because Sangwoo is not loving him. And Sangwoo see for the first time – himself in small figure of Bum, he sees that rejected, scared boy, who cries his out eyes, and who is ready to give up his life – not for him, but as an act of rejection of the world without him. Sangwoo for the first time believes Bum – because there is no lie in the blood. There is no lie in the tears.

Sangwoo hurt him. And he is aware of that.

And that Sangwoo – of that moment – is the man who will sustain on doing any harm to his beloved Bum. That is the second persona, who will lose again and again in the battle with the KILLER. But it’s the persona that I love. The persona who tries, and tries. But that persona needs help, needs constant sustain, needs the directions – to learn again how to behave, how to notice others. When I’m in pain – for example – having an headache – I’m really focused about my wellbeing. It’s easier to get upset over someone, because during pain I’m more self-centered. And Sangwoo agony is going on and on and on and on, without any pauses. And him trying to see through his trauma other person is almost impossible – and yet – he tries. Not as a hero, he won’t get any applause for doing that. And – even during tries – he is fully aware he will fail. Again. And again. Victory was never an option.

And we can all agree – KILLING STALKING – shouldn’t have a happy ending. And there was never an intention of getting one - as Koogi showed us. Sangwoo is suicidal. He was, he is and he will be. But there was one thing – the most painful death – that he feared with all his mind, wholesome of his heart. The lonely, painful death. And it was a curse placed upon him. The dagger poking his neck. And he was well aware it will never go away. Then – he asked the only person – which reached his softer, calmer persona for one thing. To die with him. To be with him – even in the most scary moment – to be with him – and in that way – even if he was devoured alive but monsters, drenched in the well, crushed to the bones – he would not die the most painful way. He needed Bum to protect him from alone, dark and scary death. And in that way he would – no matter what – be protected from the curse, that his mother placed upon him.

Still – the perspective of death was not so… vivid back then. It was in front of him, but not clear, close but not too close yet. They were drown in the ceremony of their own bonding, their honeymoon before actual wedding. And I truly believe – he wanted to cherish those moment, but his broken mind was not able to fulfill any boxes of happiness. Dysphoria. Sangwoo lost an ability to feel actual happiness, but still – seeing such joy in the eyes of Bum – forced his own mind to borrow a little of that light. And that was the moment I truly loved Bum. That was his strength that Sangwoo lacked, the ability to still light that fire. Joy. Happiness. Love.

But I can only imagine what an actual feeling that was for Sangwoo. The realization of the hollowness of your own being.

And he was shattering.

And I’d like to think that – the murder of the lady during ski trip – was an actual parallel to the first time – when Sangwoo killed someone. Haunted with the pictures of his mother, with trembling hands, and tears in his eyes – it was not a KILLER who killed her. It wasn’t thought through, it wasn’t calm and ironic. It was madness, absolutely terrifying madness.

And Sangwoo ran. Shattering more and more of the defenses he set years ago. He was naked in his own filthy, murderous self, in his own disgusting, horrid trauma, and drowned in the fear of dying – most painful, most painful, most painful… way…

And he ran to Bum. He cried next to Bum. Even if he didn’t expect him to answer, his presence was his safe place. He believed he won’t be rejected, or maybe at least hoped so. Even if he expected silence – it was the first time – when he – in very clumsy way – reached to Bum for help. Dependence was set hard in the stone. For the first time – Sangwoo was really vulnerable – and in the future – that vulnerability will only grow stronger.

Most of toxicity in that fandom, comes from selfcalled protectors of morality. It’s just a story – not a real life situation – and it’s absolutely normal if you cheer for a favorite character – not because he is righteous, but because he is interesting. I love villains in stories, and in that story – I love Sangwoo too. He is a lot more complex character than Bum, he is way hotter (╭☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )╭☞ , and he is just more active – the story is driven by him – his craziness.

And I admit, there were moment when Bum was shining, when he tried to escape, when his mind was racing back and forward to find a solution for his imprisonment. But recently passiveness of Bum, his way of behaving, his lack of communication – first when Sangwoo started falling so hard into his schizophrenic hysteria in the hotel – and not mentioning his breakdown in any way, then in multiple occasion – when the calls for action were clear as the sky.  But it’s his character, that passiveness, lack of human reactions – solving every problem in sexual way – forcing felliato on somebody unconscious, then trying to ignore another breakdown - and what a breakdown it was! Then solving it again with sexual intercourse! He is brilliant as portray of a person with such horrible traumas, and lack of normal human reactions. But… Those characteristics I see, and I admit that are very solid outcome of his past – still are the same characteristics, that are the reason why I don’t like Bum. I don’t cheer for him. He is solid character, that just happened to not fill my boxes “Character I love”.

On the other hand – psychopathic, crazy ass killer Sangwoo, who was not passive in any way during his life – human who should be sweet and caring person, became a monster. Oh man, that’s just my jam! And I root for him – and I’m devastated that he probably got such disappointing ending. His life was from the beginning to an end – livid horror. Starting with the demons living inside his parents, then with the demons crunching his never recovered mind. Everyday agony, and in the end, he was left alone in more and more suffering – alone, with the feeling of betrayal. There is a cliché – he get what he deserves, but in my mind – he really didn’t deserve that. Season 3 showed that there was still possibility in resocialization within him, and I’m sad that it was never possible outcome. He trapped Bum, he hurted him, he forced him into his madness. But at the same time, it was Bum who was slowly killing him softly, with a hands clothed in white gloves – because that person, who promised him love in the face of death, was the person who left him in the most crucial moment. They were a toxin for each other, and I see those damned rat pills as a metaphor. They weren’t used, but they were present. They were still inside Sangwoo head, and he belived that Bum will be his antidote. But Bum was poisoned himself, and broken tools wont repair broken vase.

Bum just gave Sangwoo another dose – not on purpose – but within the rules that were set as creation of his character. He was never a savior, he was too weak. And Sangwoo couldn’t be a savior for Bum – but kill me for that – he at least tried. Failed. Crushed his good intentions, and let the monster win all the way, but he tried. I’m just so sad that there was never in that webtoon a character that could set an example of good. The hand of justice. Because Sangwoo needed a punishment, but the way it was served him – wasn’t a punishment – it was absolutely monstrocity. But it would be even more crazy ass long post if I was bitchin about Seungbee too XD I’ll just say, his character is the most bizzare thing ever.

And I bitched for so long – primary – because it was very sed chapter for me :D Secondly, because I don’t like when someone calls other ppl fuckd up in the head, or cancers – because they like some fictional character, and they are not respecting the moral rules of society in frickin fiction :D Cmon ppl!