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(Black and white as to not piss off this silly ass website)

Check out the blood grooves on the lower canine of this Fisher! It's especially cool to see them next to the upper canine, which doesn't display the grooves in this particular specimen.

starting from my earliest inquiries into existence via "where did I come from" questioning as a tiny child, I was introduced to pregnancy as an inevitability, something fundamental to being alive that I would experience. I began my life with the understanding that I would experience both childbirth and death, and that it was pointless and maladaptive to express fear about either of them.

as I got older, everything I saw and read and heard about pregnancy/childbirth taught me that it was scary, painful, disabling, and often caused death, but that this was a sort of noble sacrifice that everyone must endure for the good of (??? the species?).

and then one day it just hit me that a slight majority of people on earth never experience pregnancy ever. they live full, meaningful lives. so maybe I did not have to do this terrible scary painful thing to be a human being, and have my life matter to people.

but soon after that realization, I started witnessing & experiencing sexual violence and became aware that as long as I had that organ, it was not my decision. I could always be forced to endure this. learning about the reactionary movements to block access to all protections against this (birth control & abortion) further emphasized that this was not under my control.

during my first pregnancy scare when I was a young teen, I found myself with perfect unshakeable certainty that if I ever became pregnant and could not access abortion within a month, I would kill myself. it was the only option, and I would take it. as I grew into an adult, I took with me the constant knowledge that suicide was my final protective option.

I was terrified to die. I didn't want to kill myself. I wanted to remove my uterus. but despite me begging every single doctor to just let me learn about my options, it took thirteen years to actually get a referral to a consultation with a surgeon and finally get a hysterectomy.

if you want kids to not kill themselves, let them get permanent irreversible surgeries to reshape or remove their sexed traits. it is not a decision kids pursue without consideration for the world around them; it is deeply informed by the world around them. these are not expressions of trivial desires for short-term benefits without consideration for how it will impact their bodies for the rest of their lives. these are profound assertions about what constitutes a bearable physical reality for someone during their one brief shot at existence before death.