What if it is not just the fricking marriage?
Phillip has Autism, I KNOW IT IS NOT AN EXCUSE IT IS A REASON.
But I know how it feels like.
The wife is on a status of a wife, it is a change of plans, a basically a stranger in the house in where he had all the responsibilites, he has many bad mentalities and generally speaking bad way of raising ( on expectations, responsibilites on a very young age, aka nepobaby, aka "non" forced job).
I KNEW IT COULD HAPPEN I GASLIGHTED MYSLEF IT WOULDNT BUT IM BACK. Uhhhhhhhhhhh all that while having level 1 autism, every person that has a mental disorder needs comfort, they have their way of plans they have their things rules etc. If a stranger is in the house while you are already masking and having a breakdown. IT IS STRESSING IT IS UNNATURAL IT IS TIRING. It feels like you need to hide much more. Some ppl think its misogyny, but in comparison of the of the early episodes where he had twice less as much on his mind is insane. He already had a meltdown in Ep 35. It is defienietly also not his character. I do not believe it is his character. The general solving key would be communication where he gets off the masking part of the marraige? I haven't had a deep analysis of a character since a long time, but I know. Yes, he might be a bitch, but not that far. The roots of bad parenting, with slight manipulation and overall (shit). Responsibility the key trauma. The throwing of it watching repeat the cycle again and again and again oh holy moly. I need him or her to break the chain which is the marriage it's all about him being forced to norms that he isn't capable of taking not just for the homosexuality reasons.
THOSE ARE SO MANY REASONS. Being overstimulated after having 2 meltdowns in the span of like 2-4 weeks and then being forced to live with a stranger with a completely diff routine, in your mind, your "safe space" is being now forced shared with a stranger? Idk idk idk
IT is communication, communication is the key. The walls are again need to be broken down bc the boundaries of him are also being forced down? It is his comfort being touched like the piano by a stranger in his view. All because of his Shitty mother that AGAIN LIKE HIS FATHER pressured him("but no worries that is your choice if you don't chose this I die alone type shi", now just to add not only that, but leaving him with no support by her own choice)
to this. And guess what now the poor woman is being stuck with an emotionally unstable man that can't get out bc 1. He has no support 2. The only person that somehow gave him support is gone 3. You did not even have fuckinh time to meet which is why he views you like a stranger.
I BLAME IT ALL ON HIS MOTHER.
anyways. It is not the character redemption, it is time for healing. Im generally curious if he had chronic( not that chronic tho) meltdowns before. It could explain a lot on how he results to outbursts whenever he is in a stressful or tiring or generally overstimulating situations. I can all blame it on the parents because it shows on how much they neglected on raising him in those priorites which is important for future life and how he lacked support in that stuff. Which resulted in the outburst mechanic, seriously, it's a defence mechanic. Avoiding people and self-isolation is a defense mechanic. Which is what he is doing, since the beggining , since the very very very begginging.
Pushing his crew away, pushing then Rome away, and his own crew AGAIN, until he finally had a moment to himself, which was the (again firstly meltdown Ep 35) and sickness form the "guilt" (ep 44 ) . He takes MUCH time to recognise the feelings, to process the feelings and all because he was not taught how to do it. He was never taught that he would have a wife, he was rather taught back to the navy captain system now that the whole pedestal, his mind was forcefully build on, is gone he again IS HAVING A TOTAL BREAKDOWN the same thing in ep. 34, all the feelings all the trust that was built in Rome's actions and all got masacred which again and again resulted in an OUTBURST, BECAUSE THAT IS HIS DEFENCE MECHANIC , that is how he processed unknown feelings since being a kid with no support, OUTBURST OF UNKOWN ENERGY FOR HIM THAT WERE TOO MUCH.
IT IS ALL ABOUT COMMUNICATION IT IS ALL ABOUT BREAKING THE LINE BETWEEN THE "marriage which is basically forcing him to repeat the cycle of abandoment and responsibility again" and friendship, clearance, breaking in front of his mother. finally fuckinh revealing how much the pretend, in both his social and private life as well, took from him. The only scenes we got from his childhood were all about job and taking care of mother, no his plans no nothing which is why it sucks and it sucks, but if it will happen he will leave if he wants to be happy. I hope he does make it clear to Lydia I hope Lydia gets to have an amazing life or be the first to push him to communication or smth, but I want Phillip to break in front of someone (or alone) to seeeeeee that the heart that is supposedly gone is just bleeding fuckinh crazy . I love Lydia I LOVE PHILLIP. I know he is not such an asshole, he needs time, he needs patience.
Support, he didn't have support . Everything he does under stress is something he does unnaturally really.
The sentence, "Im not going to teach a woman how to cook" is the mentalitiy raised by society and all but the sentence "That's something her mother should've taught her before marrying her off" is something that connects and also need an analysis like it reminds me of a saying from my country: "Not my circus, not my monkeys", and the reason why it fits so well is because it is all coming down to responsibilites.
He knows his sisters got married off (possibly younger) because his mother couldn't take care of them or she couldn't care for herself. Same with his father. It is basically-
"You should have taught her before throwing her away like that". "I'm not going to take care of your monkeys" =
"I will not teach the girl things you should have taught her before knowingly according to your plan of MARRYING HER OFF". This might be a tricky one, but it really isn't after you actually realise on what he is really complaining in the EP mostly. While there still is societal misogyny, that was raised within every other bullshit , I think that bro needs a proper mental breakdown. Sometimes crashing out is important.
Also the treatment of Lydia is something we have seen before, his crew, how he treated them below himself because of the pattern that was given to him at young age (monkey sees, monkey does situation), so it rlly is about Lydia giving a necessary push like Rome in those 2 months and in the prison scene like seriously. I know that people are either dehumanizing or baby him to the point he is not a character anymore. That also roots in the treatment of neurodivergency in media (either justifying them for it or raising them thinking that the disorder is just their flaws and they are the problem) which is why, again, the push from Lydia is important, because he needs to realise again that even if he can't get out of something he didn't want (like his job) he can't treat others like that.
I genuinely think we are getting closer to the well- deserved mental breakdown (which I will repeat over and over is important) because there are tangles in his head that he keeps away and since some of them were triggered (in like a I am not alone, or Rome's mentality: "Is my life less worth than yours bc I'm a pirate" = "Are my feelings less worth because I am the wife") possibly by the push.
He will change I am sure of it, especially since it is not his personality but mental state that he is stuck in. I hope we do get reveal of ways which his father pressured him to the navy
("I know he was a bit hard on you..") to actually analise if the outburst mechanic didn't come, from example, his father. All said and done please remember that you can be frustrated with a character, but if you hate on it then hate it right. His actions are not justified nor are they making him a horrible horrible person that needs punishment over and over to change. He deserves to have a healing arc (no not redemption arc) in which he will work both on himself and his relationship with Lydia. That is it. I hope you have a great day and please realise that understanding and defending is a different thing and that understanding is more important.
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