They could never make me hate you, complex female character whose reaction to trauma was not pretty and digestible like how people think it should be.


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@yafufuoi
They could never make me hate you, complex female character whose reaction to trauma was not pretty and digestible like how people think it should be.

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Rome Art!
From : My Missing Oscar Webtoon
Creator : Alien_kingg
This is a collab with one of my friends !
Rome in Bd attire yippieeee!!! i designed the set : ) (not really proud of the shawl tho.)
Got reminded again of my old coworker who was a massive misogynist but also trans inclusive. Told me he believed trans women are indeed women because "only women would be stupid enough to want to be women"
I wonder what he's doing now
He also aggressively corrected himself whenever he accidentally misgendered a trans guy we knew because "there's already more women than men in the world, the more numbers we steal from them, the better." Did that even when the trans guy wasn't around.
I need to point out that he was completely serious btw. This man had no sense of humor if he tried.
He was a cook at the restaurant/bar I was a bartender at, and almost punched a costumer once because he overheard him talking about how women belong in the kitchen. Told me he thought women should stay out of kitchens, that cooking is a man's job and when I asked him what he thinks women should be doing, he went quiet for a moment, then proceeded to explain to me the following
"I trust a bitch to run a kitchen as much as she can run a country, they should do shit like plumbing. Or electricity. Something you can just learn to do and don't need to lead, you know?"
Apparently women are good at "fixing shit". He claimed that he doesn't trust male plumbers or electricians except if they're gay because "something most be wrong with you if you want to go fix other people's houses, that's that maternal instinct"
Love that you guys seem to like the stories about my Guy, here's another. (also for context i need to say that english is not the language he spoke, and when i say 'fag', i'm using it for our version of the slur. Our Guy insisted that that's just how you call gay people in our language (it isn't))
We had an openly gay coworker who looked like it (crop tops, dyed hair, make-up) and he was often harassed by the waiters from the football bar next door. The gay dude had the same name as the Guy, who insisted that we would specify the he isn't gay, so they just became "Name" and "Not Gay Name". He was fine with that.
Oh he also once went on a rant about how he respects our gay coworker more than "those other fags" because "at least he has the balls to look like a fag, yknow? None of that sneaky shit where you can't tell if they're trying to fuck you or your girlfriend." When I then told him I was bi, he looked me over and called me some slurs before telling me that I don't need to rub it in that I can get both. Then he asked me if I think he's hot and when I told him no, he informed me I should stick with women because I clearly have shit taste.
He once accidentally bullied one of our younger waitresses out of an early eating disorder she was developing before working there (she told me about it after)
Boss gave us one meal from the menu a day as a job bonus, and we had this very shy seventeen year old working with us who was already nervous around men, but Our Guy was a 6'3 dude who only stopped yelling and cursing when he was not speaking at all. If he was the one cooking that day, he'd peek out of the kitchen an hour before he'd start closing it up, and would shout at you if you haven't ordered your meal yet because he hated cooking once he already cleaned. The waitress was scared shitless of him, and so whenever he would yell at her to "fucking order already", she'd panic and just pick something.
She didn't eat much but the first time she tried to throw out almost the whole plate, he got so personally insulted that he berated her for not picking something she'd like, and demanded to know what he did wrong. He got really upset about apparently not being able to cook something that this kid would like and I'm pretty sure he started putting in extra effort to make sure she would eat it this time? It lead to him quite literally standing over her like a hawk when she ate to "see her reaction" and demand an immediate review to see what he can improve.
She later told me that it she was so scared and awkward around him back then that it kind of overrode her fear of food, and that she still sometimes pretends she's back there, when she feels a bad episode coming on, so. He did do something good for the world i guess
Our Guy met a nonbinary person once when my friend came to visit me at work. He was just on a smoke break so I had to introduce them and when I said "They're visiting" he got confused and asked us how many people are there (and then threatened murder if they dare order something while he's on a break). I had to explain this man what a nonbinary person is, he thought about it for a second, called the whole thing "fucking stupid, there ain't that shit in nature" and then proceeded to very mockingly refer to them as (our language equivalent of) "your majesty" and use the pronouns you use for people you're supposed to respect (which is genderless and very formal)
My friend thought he was really funny before I explained to them that I'm pretty sure he thought he was being mean (but hey he it wasn't misgendering so yay)
Then (after his break) they ordered a vegan sandwich and we heard him cussing them out about how "they should pick a fucking struggle". Later I asked him about it and got told that "how much shit can you deny yourself? Cheese, gender, the fuck's next?"
"Cheese, gender, what the fuck's next?"
I like how his issue isn't with the "that shit ain't in nature" thing he mentioned, but the idea that being nonbinary is some form of self-deprivation and that they deserve a gender like everyone else.
More notes for The Study
This post made it to TikTok.
What a FASCINATING person
Adding OP's final addition so we can get it all in one reblog chain.
Absolutely fascinating human, I never ever want to meet him or know what he looks like but want to hear more
funi in my head, stupid in execution. Anyway, happy pride.

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They have chosen me to be a shepherd, before I even knew if I was human.
“I hope we get to see the ways Phillip’s father pressured him to navy”- I said and guess what
Proud of doodle so I post the doodle
My ahh posture also a small thing that I want to say before I leave half of the my missing Oscar fandom, if u hate a character’s flaws but still claim to be a character’s true fan while mischaracterising them and babying and excusing them bc u can’t stand the worse side of realistic mental struggles then you are not their fan
Phillip analysis
What if it is not just the fricking marriage?
Phillip has Autism, I KNOW IT IS NOT AN EXCUSE IT IS A REASON.
But I know how it feels like.
The wife is on a status of a wife, it is a change of plans, a basically a stranger in the house in where he had all the responsibilites, he has many bad mentalities and generally speaking bad way of raising ( on expectations, responsibilites on a very young age, aka nepobaby, aka "non" forced job).
I KNEW IT COULD HAPPEN I GASLIGHTED MYSLEF IT WOULDNT BUT IM BACK. Uhhhhhhhhhhh all that while having level 1 autism, every person that has a mental disorder needs comfort, they have their way of plans they have their things rules etc. If a stranger is in the house while you are already masking and having a breakdown. IT IS STRESSING IT IS UNNATURAL IT IS TIRING. It feels like you need to hide much more. Some ppl think its misogyny, but in comparison of the of the early episodes where he had twice less as much on his mind is insane. He already had a meltdown in Ep 35. It is defienietly also not his character. I do not believe it is his character. The general solving key would be communication where he gets off the masking part of the marraige? I haven't had a deep analysis of a character since a long time, but I know. Yes, he might be a bitch, but not that far. The roots of bad parenting, with slight manipulation and overall (shit). Responsibility the key trauma. The throwing of it watching repeat the cycle again and again and again oh holy moly. I need him or her to break the chain which is the marriage it's all about him being forced to norms that he isn't capable of taking not just for the homosexuality reasons.
THOSE ARE SO MANY REASONS. Being overstimulated after having 2 meltdowns in the span of like 2-4 weeks and then being forced to live with a stranger with a completely diff routine, in your mind, your "safe space" is being now forced shared with a stranger? Idk idk idk
IT is communication, communication is the key. The walls are again need to be broken down bc the boundaries of him are also being forced down? It is his comfort being touched like the piano by a stranger in his view. All because of his Shitty mother that AGAIN LIKE HIS FATHER pressured him("but no worries that is your choice if you don't chose this I die alone type shi", now just to add not only that, but leaving him with no support by her own choice)
to this. And guess what now the poor woman is being stuck with an emotionally unstable man that can't get out bc 1. He has no support 2. The only person that somehow gave him support is gone 3. You did not even have fuckinh time to meet which is why he views you like a stranger.
I BLAME IT ALL ON HIS MOTHER.
anyways. It is not the character redemption, it is time for healing. Im generally curious if he had chronic( not that chronic tho) meltdowns before. It could explain a lot on how he results to outbursts whenever he is in a stressful or tiring or generally overstimulating situations. I can all blame it on the parents because it shows on how much they neglected on raising him in those priorites which is important for future life and how he lacked support in that stuff. Which resulted in the outburst mechanic, seriously, it's a defence mechanic. Avoiding people and self-isolation is a defense mechanic. Which is what he is doing, since the beggining , since the very very very begginging.
Pushing his crew away, pushing then Rome away, and his own crew AGAIN, until he finally had a moment to himself, which was the (again firstly meltdown Ep 35) and sickness form the "guilt" (ep 44 ) . He takes MUCH time to recognise the feelings, to process the feelings and all because he was not taught how to do it. He was never taught that he would have a wife, he was rather taught back to the navy captain system now that the whole pedestal, his mind was forcefully build on, is gone he again IS HAVING A TOTAL BREAKDOWN the same thing in ep. 34, all the feelings all the trust that was built in Rome's actions and all got masacred which again and again resulted in an OUTBURST, BECAUSE THAT IS HIS DEFENCE MECHANIC , that is how he processed unknown feelings since being a kid with no support, OUTBURST OF UNKOWN ENERGY FOR HIM THAT WERE TOO MUCH.
IT IS ALL ABOUT COMMUNICATION IT IS ALL ABOUT BREAKING THE LINE BETWEEN THE "marriage which is basically forcing him to repeat the cycle of abandoment and responsibility again" and friendship, clearance, breaking in front of his mother. finally fuckinh revealing how much the pretend, in both his social and private life as well, took from him. The only scenes we got from his childhood were all about job and taking care of mother, no his plans no nothing which is why it sucks and it sucks, but if it will happen he will leave if he wants to be happy. I hope he does make it clear to Lydia I hope Lydia gets to have an amazing life or be the first to push him to communication or smth, but I want Phillip to break in front of someone (or alone) to seeeeeee that the heart that is supposedly gone is just bleeding fuckinh crazy . I love Lydia I LOVE PHILLIP. I know he is not such an asshole, he needs time, he needs patience.
Support, he didn't have support . Everything he does under stress is something he does unnaturally really.
The sentence, "Im not going to teach a woman how to cook" is the mentalitiy raised by society and all but the sentence "That's something her mother should've taught her before marrying her off" is something that connects and also need an analysis like it reminds me of a saying from my country: "Not my circus, not my monkeys", and the reason why it fits so well is because it is all coming down to responsibilites.
He knows his sisters got married off (possibly younger) because his mother couldn't take care of them or she couldn't care for herself. Same with his father. It is basically-
"You should have taught her before throwing her away like that". "I'm not going to take care of your monkeys" =
"I will not teach the girl things you should have taught her before knowingly according to your plan of MARRYING HER OFF". This might be a tricky one, but it really isn't after you actually realise on what he is really complaining in the EP mostly. While there still is societal misogyny, that was raised within every other bullshit , I think that bro needs a proper mental breakdown. Sometimes crashing out is important.
Also the treatment of Lydia is something we have seen before, his crew, how he treated them below himself because of the pattern that was given to him at young age (monkey sees, monkey does situation), so it rlly is about Lydia giving a necessary push like Rome in those 2 months and in the prison scene like seriously. I know that people are either dehumanizing or baby him to the point he is not a character anymore. That also roots in the treatment of neurodivergency in media (either justifying them for it or raising them thinking that the disorder is just their flaws and they are the problem) which is why, again, the push from Lydia is important, because he needs to realise again that even if he can't get out of something he didn't want (like his job) he can't treat others like that.
I genuinely think we are getting closer to the well- deserved mental breakdown (which I will repeat over and over is important) because there are tangles in his head that he keeps away and since some of them were triggered (in like a I am not alone, or Rome's mentality: "Is my life less worth than yours bc I'm a pirate" = "Are my feelings less worth because I am the wife") possibly by the push.
He will change I am sure of it, especially since it is not his personality but mental state that he is stuck in. I hope we do get reveal of ways which his father pressured him to the navy
("I know he was a bit hard on you..") to actually analise if the outburst mechanic didn't come, from example, his father. All said and done please remember that you can be frustrated with a character, but if you hate on it then hate it right. His actions are not justified nor are they making him a horrible horrible person that needs punishment over and over to change. He deserves to have a healing arc (no not redemption arc) in which he will work both on himself and his relationship with Lydia. That is it. I hope you have a great day and please realise that understanding and defending is a different thing and that understanding is more important.
Wow I predicted it

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Phillip analysis
What if it is not just the fricking marriage?
Phillip has Autism, I KNOW IT IS NOT AN EXCUSE IT IS A REASON.
But I know how it feels like.
The wife is on a status of a wife, it is a change of plans, a basically a stranger in the house in where he had all the responsibilites, he has many bad mentalities and generally speaking bad way of raising ( on expectations, responsibilites on a very young age, aka nepobaby, aka "non" forced job).
I KNEW IT COULD HAPPEN I GASLIGHTED MYSLEF IT WOULDNT BUT IM BACK. Uhhhhhhhhhhh all that while having level 1 autism, every person that has a mental disorder needs comfort, they have their way of plans they have their things rules etc. If a stranger is in the house while you are already masking and having a breakdown. IT IS STRESSING IT IS UNNATURAL IT IS TIRING. It feels like you need to hide much more. Some ppl think its misogyny, but in comparison of the of the early episodes where he had twice less as much on his mind is insane. He already had a meltdown in Ep 35. It is defienietly also not his character. I do not believe it is his character. The general solving key would be communication where he gets off the masking part of the marraige? I haven't had a deep analysis of a character since a long time, but I know. Yes, he might be a bitch, but not that far. The roots of bad parenting, with slight manipulation and overall (shit). Responsibility the key trauma. The throwing of it watching repeat the cycle again and again and again oh holy moly. I need him or her to break the chain which is the marriage it's all about him being forced to norms that he isn't capable of taking not just for the homosexuality reasons.
THOSE ARE SO MANY REASONS. Being overstimulated after having 2 meltdowns in the span of like 2-4 weeks and then being forced to live with a stranger with a completely diff routine, in your mind, your "safe space" is being now forced shared with a stranger? Idk idk idk
IT is communication, communication is the key. The walls are again need to be broken down bc the boundaries of him are also being forced down? It is his comfort being touched like the piano by a stranger in his view. All because of his Shitty mother that AGAIN LIKE HIS FATHER pressured him("but no worries that is your choice if you don't chose this I die alone type shi", now just to add not only that, but leaving him with no support by her own choice)
to this. And guess what now the poor woman is being stuck with an emotionally unstable man that can't get out bc 1. He has no support 2. The only person that somehow gave him support is gone 3. You did not even have fuckinh time to meet which is why he views you like a stranger.
I BLAME IT ALL ON HIS MOTHER.
anyways. It is not the character redemption, it is time for healing. Im generally curious if he had chronic( not that chronic tho) meltdowns before. It could explain a lot on how he results to outbursts whenever he is in a stressful or tiring or generally overstimulating situations. I can all blame it on the parents because it shows on how much they neglected on raising him in those priorites which is important for future life and how he lacked support in that stuff. Which resulted in the outburst mechanic, seriously, it's a defence mechanic. Avoiding people and self-isolation is a defense mechanic. Which is what he is doing, since the beggining , since the very very very begginging.
Pushing his crew away, pushing then Rome away, and his own crew AGAIN, until he finally had a moment to himself, which was the (again firstly meltdown Ep 35) and sickness form the "guilt" (ep 44 ) . He takes MUCH time to recognise the feelings, to process the feelings and all because he was not taught how to do it. He was never taught that he would have a wife, he was rather taught back to the navy captain system now that the whole pedestal, his mind was forcefully build on, is gone he again IS HAVING A TOTAL BREAKDOWN the same thing in ep. 34, all the feelings all the trust that was built in Rome's actions and all got masacred which again and again resulted in an OUTBURST, BECAUSE THAT IS HIS DEFENCE MECHANIC , that is how he processed unknown feelings since being a kid with no support, OUTBURST OF UNKOWN ENERGY FOR HIM THAT WERE TOO MUCH.
IT IS ALL ABOUT COMMUNICATION IT IS ALL ABOUT BREAKING THE LINE BETWEEN THE "marriage which is basically forcing him to repeat the cycle of abandoment and responsibility again" and friendship, clearance, breaking in front of his mother. finally fuckinh revealing how much the pretend, in both his social and private life as well, took from him. The only scenes we got from his childhood were all about job and taking care of mother, no his plans no nothing which is why it sucks and it sucks, but if it will happen he will leave if he wants to be happy. I hope he does make it clear to Lydia I hope Lydia gets to have an amazing life or be the first to push him to communication or smth, but I want Phillip to break in front of someone (or alone) to seeeeeee that the heart that is supposedly gone is just bleeding fuckinh crazy . I love Lydia I LOVE PHILLIP. I know he is not such an asshole, he needs time, he needs patience.
Support, he didn't have support . Everything he does under stress is something he does unnaturally really.
The sentence, "Im not going to teach a woman how to cook" is the mentalitiy raised by society and all but the sentence "That's something her mother should've taught her before marrying her off" is something that connects and also need an analysis like it reminds me of a saying from my country: "Not my circus, not my monkeys", and the reason why it fits so well is because it is all coming down to responsibilites.
He knows his sisters got married off (possibly younger) because his mother couldn't take care of them or she couldn't care for herself. Same with his father. It is basically-
"You should have taught her before throwing her away like that". "I'm not going to take care of your monkeys" =
"I will not teach the girl things you should have taught her before knowingly according to your plan of MARRYING HER OFF". This might be a tricky one, but it really isn't after you actually realise on what he is really complaining in the EP mostly. While there still is societal misogyny, that was raised within every other bullshit , I think that bro needs a proper mental breakdown. Sometimes crashing out is important.
Also the treatment of Lydia is something we have seen before, his crew, how he treated them below himself because of the pattern that was given to him at young age (monkey sees, monkey does situation), so it rlly is about Lydia giving a necessary push like Rome in those 2 months and in the prison scene like seriously. I know that people are either dehumanizing or baby him to the point he is not a character anymore. That also roots in the treatment of neurodivergency in media (either justifying them for it or raising them thinking that the disorder is just their flaws and they are the problem) which is why, again, the push from Lydia is important, because he needs to realise again that even if he can't get out of something he didn't want (like his job) he can't treat others like that.
I genuinely think we are getting closer to the well- deserved mental breakdown (which I will repeat over and over is important) because there are tangles in his head that he keeps away and since some of them were triggered (in like a I am not alone, or Rome's mentality: "Is my life less worth than yours bc I'm a pirate" = "Are my feelings less worth because I am the wife") possibly by the push.
He will change I am sure of it, especially since it is not his personality but mental state that he is stuck in. I hope we do get reveal of ways which his father pressured him to the navy
("I know he was a bit hard on you..") to actually analise if the outburst mechanic didn't come, from example, his father. All said and done please remember that you can be frustrated with a character, but if you hate on it then hate it right. His actions are not justified nor are they making him a horrible horrible person that needs punishment over and over to change. He deserves to have a healing arc (no not redemption arc) in which he will work both on himself and his relationship with Lydia. That is it. I hope you have a great day and please realise that understanding and defending is a different thing and that understanding is more important.
I wish we all had a jar of our comfort things that is away from everything, that we could go to whenever we are stressed and all. That’s it.
Uhhh a question if anyone would like a deep analysis of Phillip, because the mischaracterising is crazy and I love him very much and also the representation he brings so uhh yeah. I also do not want it misinterpreted, just like I do not want him to be misinterpreted.
900729
Cowboy au (trying to update procreate kinda nervous)

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Head canon that Kinger kept his messy hair for Queenie to braid
Also Computer nerd vs piano nerd whose fingers will fall off first?
Have more realistic Phillip