xXDemonLesiXx

When These kids get shots.

(Back at the Dark Dimension, Bierce and Malak watch through their soul-shard screen.)

Bierce : …He’s downloading games for them?

Malak : (chuckling darkly) Ohhh, this is rich. The puppet thinks he can bargain with power.

Bierce : (rolling her eyes while sipping tea) Or maybe he just wants a moment of peace.

Malak : How adorably weak~ Let’s see how long that lasts.

Doug : (still frantically installing games on the tablet) Okay… Subway Surfers, Barbie Dreamhouse, and TikTok… anything else?

Lucky : (raises hand eagerly) Ohhh, how bout Minecraft--

Dark Star : (interrupting with a frown) Pfft, that's SO old school. Roblox is way better.

Lucky : (gasping indignantly) You take that BACK! Minecraft is a true classic!

Dark Star : Nah, Minecraft is sooo 2010. All the cool kids play Roblox. Minecraft is for babies.

(The monsters all start arguing about gaming as Doug continues downloading games. Lucky and Dark Star are especially aggressive.)

Lucky : (harshly pushing Dark Star away) You're the baby!

Dark Star : (shoving Lucky back and almost knocking him over) Says the one who still sleeps with a stuffed toy!

Lucky : (getting back in her face) That's only for when I'm scared! You still drink milk from a bottle!

Dark Star : Only because I need calcium—

Mama Bear : Enough! How about we gonna play board game instead downloading games.

(The monsters instantly stop arguing as all eyes turn to Mama Bear.)

Lucky : (tilting his head with a grin) A boardgame?

Agatha : (clapping her hands excitedly) Yeah! It's been forever since I played one!

Dark Star : (crossing her arms skeptically) Pfft, what even is there to do in boardgames?

Puppet King : (*smirking mischievously) I like this suggestion. How about Uno?

Doug : I think this is good idea.

(The monsters all nod in agreement. Even a little excitement is rising in their usually chaotic energy.)

Lucky : (bouncing up and down with a grin) Yeah! Uno is great!

Dark Star : (grumbling) …Fine. I suppose I can play.

Agatha : (nodding eagerly, clapping her hands) Oooo I love Uno!

Mama Bear : (sipping soup with a chuckle) I can go grab the set… as long as everyone promises to be civil…

Doug : (He turns the screen off his tablet.)

(Doug sets down his tablet as Mama Bear heads back to grab the board-game box.)

Lucky : (bouncing up and down like an excited puppy) Yaaaayyy! It's game time~

Dark Star : (folding her arms with a small frown) This is gonna be boring…

Agatha : (giggling, clapping her hands again) Oh come on, Dark Star! It'll be fun~!

(Mama Bear returns with a worn-looking Uno board-game box.)

Mama Bear : (setting it up) All ready. Now who wants to go first?

Lucky : (jumping up and down eagerly) Me! Me! Me! Pick me!

Puppet : Alright Yellow GlitchLucky. Go ahead.

(Lucky grins and plops down next to the game board.)

Lucky : (grinning mischievously) Hahahahaha… I'm gonna crush you all!

Dark Star : (snarling as she takes a seat) Pfft. Whatever, Rabbit Boy.

Agatha : (sitting beside Dark Star with a smile) No need to get competitive! It's just a game…

(Dark Star rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.)

Dark Star : Says the girl who probably can't read cards…

Agatha : (laughing softly) Hey! I can read just fine! I just don't want to make this super-duper serious.

Lucky : (nodding in agreement) Yeah! It's supposed to fun, remember? Besides… I'm gonna win anyway so HAH!

Doug : (He sneeze.) ACHOOO!!

(The monsters all look up at him with varying reactions)

Lucky : (tilting his head with genuine concern) Bless you…

Dark star : (covering her nose like his sneeze is infectious) Eww, you're gonna get us germs!

Agatha : (leaning forward with a smile) Awh… bless you twice.

Mama Bear : (pulling out a tissue) You okay sweetie? You've been sneezing a lot today…

Doug : Yeah… Just some a flower allergies…..

(The monsters tilt their heads to one side as Doug rubs his nose.)

Dark Star : (raising an eyebrow) Flower… allergies?

Lucky : (nodding sagely) Oh yeah. That sounds awful… like death but in your sinuses!

Agatha : (tapping her chin) Flower allergies can get pretty bad…

Mama Bear : (looking at him with slight worry) You should keep some antihistamines with you just in case…

(The monsters all nod in agreement. Doug rubs his nose again, feeling a little bit embarrassed.)

Doug : (coughing into a tissue) It's... it's really not that bad. Just some sneezing and a little sniffling.

Lucky : (leaning in) Yeah right! I bet your nose is like a waterfall of *mucus* right now

Dark Star : (snorting with a smirk) Pfft. Probably more like a *mudslide*.

Puppet king : Quit it, or else I will slap your ass!

Agatha : Here is a tissue friend.

(The monsters all shut up momentarily. Doug takes the tissue from Agatha with a sheepish smile)

Doug : (blowing his nose) …Thank you.

Agatha : (patting his shoulder with a warm smile) No worries... just take care of yourself, okay?

Dark Star : (whispering to Lucky) Ha! Look at this mortal. He probably can't even handle a little pollen, let alone *Uno*...

Lucky : Let's continue the uno game.

(Doug rubs his nose again, but manages to force a smile. The monsters nod.)

Lucky : *YAYYY!*

Dark Star : (rolling her eyes) I'm still gonna win, just so y'all remember…

Doug : (He takes a bit bite of Oreo Ice cream.)

(*The moment Doug takes that bite—*)

**CRUNCH.**

Lucky: (*GASP*) He did it! He actually ate the cookie ice cream without being possessed or dying!!

Dark Star : (nodding solemnly) A true miracle. Someone document this.

Puppet King : (*He grabs Dark start Camera snaps a photo with an invisible camera*) Blackmail material acquired.

Agatha : (*beaming*) I told you he’d like it, Friend!

Mama Bear (clapping slowly): Our little mortal is growing up so fast~

Doug : (*mouth full, cheeks puffed like a chipmunk*)

(Back at Dark dimensions—)

Bierce : …I feel weirdly proud?

Malak : (*grumbling as he steals her tea cup for no reason*) Disgusting sentimentality. **Pass the sugar.**

(Bierce rolls her eyes and flicks him on the forehead, smiling despite herself.)

Bierce: Yes yes, it’s utterly *revolting* to care about others—

Malak : (glaring, rubbing head) Ow. *Rude.*

Bierce : …As I was saying, sometimes, caring has... positive benefits. Besides, how often would you get to see an ice cream picnic from a soul-shard screen?

Malak : (still rubbing his head) …Good point, but you just wanted the satisfaction of seeing me feel emotions for once-

Bierce : (sipping tea, unbothered) He earned it. Barely.

Agatha : (leaning into frame with her half-eaten cone) Look at us, Friend! We're having a *nice time!* Even Lucky’s behaving!

Lucky : (*immediately spitting sprinkles out*) NO I’M NOT! WAAAAAH—(*He lunges at Puppet King with his cone like a weapon.*)

Puppet King: **MY SUIT IS RUINED!! YOU WILL PAY IN STRING!!**

(Dark Star sighs and casually throws an empty ice cream cup at Lucky’s head.)

Dark Star : Chill, dumb rabbit. You’re not getting evicted from snack time again.

Doug : (*slowly eating another bite of Oreo ice cream while watching chaos unfold*) …I hate all of you. (But he’s smiling just a little.)

(Bierce snorts into her tea at the screen.)

Bierce : (to Malak) He might actually survive this day after all.

Malak : (*takes another swig of Bierce’s tea*) Don’t jinx it. It’s more fun when he panics.

Doug : (He finishes his ice cream, and pulls out his tablet.)

(The monsters, all of whom have somehow already finished their ice creams, instantly turn to stare at him with varying levels of curiosity.)

Lucky: Is that one of those fancy human tablets?

Dark Star: Oh my gooood—

Puppet King : (*dramatic gasp*) Don’t tell me you’re using **technology** at a monster picnic!!

Doug : (*holding the tablet closer with slight confusion/panic*) I-I just need to check something!

Lucky : Do you have subway surfers app?

Agatha : Do you have Barbie house app?

(Doug stares blankly for a second before sighing, tapping his tablet open.)

Doug: ...I have neither.

Lucky : (*whining dramatically*) BOOOOORING! What’s the point of being a human then?!

Dark Star : (*snatching the tablet to inspect it*) Huh. So what *do* you use this thing for?

Puppet King : (*leaning over her shoulder with sudden interest*) **Tell me you have TikTok.** Tell me right now or I turn someone into my new puppet mid-scroll~

Agatha : (still clinging onto Doug's other arm, whispering)…Ignore them Friend. They get like this whenever they see shiny things.

Mama Bear : (sipping soup again from nowhere) Or when sugar crashes hit.

(Back at Dark dimensions— Bierce and Malak watch through their soul-shard screen as chaos unfolds yet again.)

Bierce : (watching the screen with exasperated fondness) If we survive this, I am *so* treating myself to a bubble bath. With wine and scented candles.

Malak : (snorts as he leans back, smirking) Oh please. You just *love* our daily drama fest. *Especially* when mortals are involved.

Bierce : (rolling her eyes, but taking a long swig of tea anyway) I *tolerate* it. *Barely.*

(Meanwhile, back with Doug and the monsters—)

Dark Star (pursing her lips as she swipes through Doug's tablet, bored) : What is all this boring stuff anyway?! No games?

Lucky : (leaning over Dark Star's shoulder to peek) Oooh, does it have candy crush—

Dark Star : (elbowing him in the face) Obviously no—ow!

Lucky : Hey!

Doug : (quickly grabbing the tablet back) No, and you’re not installing anything!

(Back at Dark dimension—)

Bierce: They're going to break his tablet.

Malak : (smirking, swirling a claw through the air like he's conducting chaos) Let them. It’s more fun when he screams.

Bierce (rolling her eyes) : You're evil. You know that?

Malak : (shrugging, completely unrepentant) I prefer the term 'mischievous'.

Bierce (*scoffs*) : Right. ‘Mischievous.’ Totally not a *sociopath* and your ass is stinks as fuck.

(Back at Dark picnic—)

Dark Star : (pouting dramatically) This is *boring*

Lucky : (looking disappointed) Not even flappy bird?! *Lame...*

Doug : (*grumbling, clutching his tablet defensively*) It's for work! I don't play games on here.

Puppet King : (leaning over) Then what do you use it for?

(He *almost* snatches the tablet before Doug holds it away.)

Doug: …None. Of your business.

(The monsters all blink in unison.)

Dark Star : (with a raised eyebrow) Uh… did he just tell us no?

Lucky : (gasping dramatically) HE JUST TOLD US NO!!

Puppet King : (*snatches the tablet easily from Doug's startled hands, holding it out of reach*) Oh come now Mortal. Why are you being so secretive? Is it *that* embarrassing?

(*The other monsters crowd around curiously to see the tablet.*)

Doug : (getting increasingly nervous) I-It's really personal, okay?

(The monsters stop at his tone of voice, blinking. Lucky and Dark Star look sheepish. Puppet King actually seems a little chastised, holding the tablet more gingerly.)

Agatha : (patting Doug's shoulder sympathetically) Hey… we’ll drop it okay?

Doug : (taking a deep breath, still looking uncomfortable) …Thanks. It's just… no one should see what's on there…

Dark Star : (nodding understandingly)…Like your secret search history. Doug (panicking *hard*) *DON'T TOUCH MY BROWSER.*

(The monsters freeze yet again, blinking in unison.)

Dark Star : (with visible excitement) I KNEW IT! YOU *DO* HAVE A SEARCH HISTORY~!

Lucky : (hopping up and down) Oooh this just got GOOD!

Puppet King : (waving the tablet like a trophy) What kind of things do mortals even look up for fun, hm?

Doug : (desperately trying to grab the tablet back) *Nothing* worth seeing. Seriously, just give it back—

Agatha : Guys, just stop. That's Mortal's tablet. Your shouldn't look at his privacy Bowser!

(The monsters look a little embarrassed at being chastised by Agatha. But their curiosity is clearly still piqued.)

Dark Star : (pouting a little) But now I *really* want to know what he's hiding!

Lucky : (nodding fervently) Yeah, me too! Let's take bets on what it is!

Puppet King : (nodding, tapping his chin, tablet still in hand) Hmmm... *Boring* things, probably. Like work emails and boring human hobbies.

Doug : Fine... I will download the games that your guys want.

(The monsters all freeze, slowly turning their heads toward Doug in perfect unison. Silence. Then—)

Lucky: **REALLY?!**

Dark Star: ...Wait, is this a trap?

Agatha : (whispering) No... I think he's serious.

Puppet King : (*dramatically dropping to one knee*) At last… true power comes to the people~

Doug : (sighing with tablet in hand) But only *one* game per monster. And NO sharing my personal data.

Lucky : (bouncing around excitedly) First! First! I want Subway Surfers!

Dark Star : Ugh that’s so mid… but okay fine — give me Barbie Dreamhouse.

Mama Bear : (sipping soup calmly) …Can it have knitting mini-games?

(Back with Bierce and Malak, she facepalms while he laughs)

Bierce : I can feel his stress levels climbing again from here…

Malak : (watching through soul-shard screen, clearly enjoying the drama) It’s a picnic. It’s supposed to be stressful!

Bierce : (glaring at him) Says the person who never had to parent.

(The monsters collectively gasp. Penny takes more photos. Even Dark Star seems momentarily distracted from brooding.)

Dark Star : …Is that an Ice Cream truck?! How? How?!

Lucky : ICE CREAM!!

(Doug just stares, wide-eyed, wondering if he'd hit his head and was dreaming this entire time.)

Puppet king : Okay okay, Calm down. I will buy you a ice cream. So, Who wants Ice cream.

(All of the monsters raise their hands, with various levels of enthusiasm. Dark star even drops her camera to put both hands up.)

Dark Star : Me! I want chocolate!

Mama Bear : Bruh….

Lucky : (bouncing around excitedly) Can I have sprinkles? Can I have sprinkles?!

Agatha : (hopping up) Me too, please!

Doug : (whispering) : Am I hallucinating? Are they seriously getting excited over ice cream?!

Mama Bear : They are..

Puppet king : Alright Let's go then.

Mama Bear : Wait! Puppet dear! I don't Ice cream!

Puppet King : (pausing mid-step, turning slowly) Oh? You don’t like ice cream, Mama Bear?

Mama Bear : (crossing arms with a huff) It’s cold. And it gives me brain freeze. I prefer warm soup.

Lucky : Ew. That’s so basic.

Dark Star : Honestly? Same vibe.

Agatha : (She tugs on Puppet King’s sleeve, whispering loudly) Maybe get her soup later… but right now — SUGAR RUSH TIME!

Doug : (still low-key freaking out) This is nightmare logic… sweet, melty nightmare logic…

Puppet King : Alright! Ice creams ordered—no refunds for regrets!

(Lucky starts chanting as they head toward the mysterious truck glowing in the fog)

Lucky : Scoop-a-doodle-doo~ Let's get that brain freeze goo~

Doug : I…I don't want Ice cream… too…. I like Oreo better…

(The monsters stop, staring back at Doug in disbelief.)

Lucky : Whaaaa- You don't want ice cream? That's treason, Mortal!

Dark Star : Oreo? Oreos are what you want?! Over ice cream?

Puppet King : …I take back every good thing I said about you, Mortal. That's a crime against snackiness!

Agatha : Well, Friend. They have Oreo ice cream.

(Doug's eyes widen as Agatha gives him a reassuring pat on the back.)

Agatha : See? Best of both worlds!

Dark Star : (grumbling) Fiiiine, we’ll get you your fancy cookie-flavored ice cream. But only because Puppet King already said he’d buy it.

Lucky : (snickering) Ohhh Buddy~ You’re lucky Agatha likes you so much.

Puppet King : (already marching toward the truck) Hurry up or I'm ordering everything without asking what flavors anyone wants!

Mama Bear : (calling after them while still seated) Save me some soup flavor! …If that exists?

Doug : (muttering under his breath as they walk away) How is this even happening…

(Bierce and Malak watch through their soul-shard screen, completely done with today’s nonsense.)

Doug : (He lays down on blanket feeling still bit scared.)

(Doug closes his eyes for a moment, just trying to collect his thoughts in peace as the monsters head off with a loudly skipping Lucky and Dark star.)

(Meanwhile, back with Bierce and Malak, Bierce gives Malak a flat look.)

Bierce : I am so over today.

Malak : (watching the screen with a smirk) Pfft, you love the drama and you know it.

(Mama Bear sits beside him, patting his back gently. Doug opens his eyes, realizing they're alone on the blanket.)

Mama Bear : (softly, voice like warm honey) You alright, hon? I know my babies can be a lot..

Doug : (trying to be polite) I-I'm fine........I think.....Just… a little overwhelmed. Your kids and others tried to possess my body like two minutes ago…

Mama Bear : (nodding, understanding) They forget, sometimes, that not all humans handle the weird as well as you do. She smiles You're a strong one.

(Doug smiles back, appreciating the sentiment even as his hands still tremble a bit.) Doug: …Thanks. Sometimes I feel like one wrong move and they'll just… pounce. Or try to eat me again.

Mama Bear : (shaking her head) Nah, they're just rowdy, like kids on a sugar high. They won't actually hurt you… probably.

(Mama Bear chuckles, resting a paw on Doug's shoulder as she leans in with a conspiratorial whisper.)

Mama Bear : …Unless Puppet King loses his patience again. Then maybe don’t make sudden movements around him.

(Back with Bierce and Malak—)

Bierce (watching through invisible soul-shard screen) Huh. That was almost… motherly of her.

Malak : (raising an eyebrow) You sound surprised.

Bierce : (sips tea smugly) I’m not the only one who underestimated Mama Bear’s soft spot for mortals~

(Meanwhile, Doug takes another shaky breath—but for once? It feels like he might actually survive this picnic after all.)

(Suddenly, a truck bell rings in the distance and the monsters return, chattering excitedly and holding multiple cones of various ice creams.)

Lucky : We got the goods!

Dark Star : With extra sprinkles!

Mama Bear : (looking excited and proud as she sits back down) Oh good!

(Agatha grins, sitting beside Doug and offering him a cup of Oreo ice cream.)

Agatha : Here you go Friend!

(Doug takes it, smiling gratefully.)

Doug : …Thanks, Agatha.

(The monsters continue munching on their ice creams like a chaotic herd of toddlers.)

Dark Star : (to Lucky with a mouth full of chocolate) Hey Lucky, guess what!

Lucky : (not even looking up from licking his cone) What?

Dark Star : Your ice cream face is even uglier than your clown face.

Lucky : (whining) It is not!

Agatha : (munching on Vanilla ice cream) It totally is. But that’s why we love you!

(Doug, still holding his Oreo ice cream with cautious delight, watches the chaos unfold. He glances at Mama Bear—who’s still sipping soup from a thermos while side-eyeing Dark Star and Lucky’s bickering.)

Doug : (muttering) …How is this my life now?

Agatha : (leaning in) You get used to it! Also—

(She suddenly freezes mid-bite as Puppet King looms behind them all.)

Puppet King : Did someone say ‘used to it’? Because I could make you literally incapable of escape. Just saying~

Lucky : (grinning with sprinkles stuck to his nose) Ohhhh he's being dramatic again!

Dark Star : Yeah yeah whatever strings-for-brains—just eat your damn ice cream before I steal yours.

(The picnic descends into laughter again. Doug exhales… and for once? It feels like maybe he'll be okay here after all.)

(Bierce sighs through her soul-shard screen.)

Bierce : …They’re idiots but they mean well.

(Back in the dark dimension, Malak adjusts his tie while glaring at Bierce from across the void.)

Malak : You know… I could just possess him again. Mind invasion. Make him want to go.

Bierce : (sipping tea with a smirk) And risk damaging his fragile little psyche before he finds the next ring piece? Be patient, horn boy.

Malak : (grumbling) I hate when you're right…

(Suddenly, a tiny Clown Gremlin pops up from behind Malak’s shoulder.)

Clown Gremlin : Hey boss! Wanna watch live feed of the picnic?! I hacked their car camera!

Malak : (eyes lighting up) …Fine. But only because I care about mission integrity.

(Bierce rolls her eyes as Malak leans in eagerly—clearly invested—for reasons he’d never admit.)

(Meanwhile on Car.)

(Doug peeks out the window as trees blur past. The sky's gone purple, and distant giggles echo through the woods.)

Dark Star : MORTAL! Say “STAR!”

(Flash! A camera snaps Doug’s startled face.)

Lucky : (sniffing) Smells like… sadness… and picnic baskets… BLOODY MORTAL!

Dark Star : STFU! (She slap back of his head.)

Agatha (pointing ahead): Look Friend! There's the spot — all pink flowers and sparkly goo!

Doug: …Flowers? I’m allergic to—

Lucky: Ooooh nooo, not now Mortal! We’re already here!

(The car lurches to a stop in a meadow covered in glowing blossoms. Pollen drifts into the air.)

Doug: No no no nononono— achoo! ……..…I hate my life.

(His nose starts bleeding slightly — soul strain. Agatha pats his back gently.)

Agatha: It’s okay Friend. We’ll protect you from pollen… and also from Lucky if he gets too bitey.

Lucky : (licking lips) Only one way to find out~

(The monsters spill out of the car and onto the meadow, stretching and breathing in the evening air. Puppet king and Mama Bear start unpacking a picnic basket)

Puppet King : Alright. Rules. No fighting. No maiming. No screaming.

Mama Bear : And no eating the Mortal either!

(Lucky snickers as a Trigger Teddy hops on Doug’s shoulder, staring at his bleeding nose with button eyes, while Dark Star hovers nearby, snapping pictures.)

Doug : (wiping blood from lip) I really wish I said “no” to this picnic.

(Bierce and Malak sit in her office, still watching the live feed from the car camera.)

Bierce : Ah, the joy of watching someone suffer a flower allergy. Brings a tear to my eye.

Malak : (snorting) It's hilarious. Hey, maybe the Children from park will jump on him.

Bierce : (rolling her eyes) You're enjoying this far too much.

Malak : (smirking) Can you blame me? Watching your precious little mortal squirm while trying not to cry in front of those monsters is priceless.

(The monsters spread blankets, lay out food, and set up a volleyball net. Dark Star glares at Lucky who's eyeing Doug like a piece of steak.)

Dark Star : Lucky. No. He’s not on the menu.

Lucky : (pouting) But he's right THERE. And he even bleeds all on his own! Just a taste?

Dark Star : No. We have sandwiches.

Lucky : But—

Agatha : (patting Lucky's head) Be good.

Puppet King : Lucky, if you ever do that. I'm gonna snap your head on your damn Ass.

(The air goes dead silent. Even the Trigger Teddies freeze mid-twirl.)

Lucky: …Wow okay noted, King Grumpy Pants.

Mama Bear : (whispering to Doug) He’s not kidding. Last time he did that, Human was a literal puppet for weeks.

Dark Star : (nodding solemnly) And now he’s a potted plant.

Puppet King : (cracking knuckles) So let’s keep things civil… or I turn someone into my new favorite marionette~

Agatha : (cheerfully offering Doug a sandwich wrapped in soul-stained cloth) Here Friend! Eat this instead of being eaten!

Doug: …I hate this dimension so much right now.

Bierce : (watching from afar via floating soul-shard screen) Good. Suffer quietly while collecting my ring pieces, Mortal~

Malak : Nahaha! Good one Bierce.

Bierce : (dryly sips tea) Glad to know someone here appreciates dark humour as much as I do. Especially when watching the mortal squirm.

Malak : (leaning back in his chair with arms folded, smirking) Oh, just you wait! The picnic's still young. Anything could happen….

(Back in the meadow, Doug and Agatha eating sandwich while trying to ignore the Trigger Teddies dancing around him.)

(Trigger Teddies instantly stop dancing, their button eyes glinting in eerie unison. One by one, they turn their heads toward Lucky with slow, unnatural precision.)

Lucky: (laughing) C'mon, you call those moves? My Grandmother moves better in her grave! I said it! You dance like a bunch of rusty wind-up toasters!

(One Trigger Teddy suddenly screams — a high-pitched mechanical wail — and launches at Lucky like a fuzzy missile.)

Puppet King: I WARNED YOU!

(Chaos erupts.)

Dark Star dives for cover while Mama Bear gasps dramatically:

Mama Bear : Not my babies! No violence at the picnic!!

Agatha : (clapping) Ooooh~ It’s a rumble!

Doug (He's hand is on blanket gripping) I’m too young and pregnant to die in a teddy bear gang fight!!

(Lucky yelps as three more Teddies pile onto him, biting his ears and tail while he flails.)

Lucky : (muffled) Okay okay I’M SORRY THEY’RE CUTE AS FLUFF—AAAAH MY EYE!!

(Puppet King calmly picks up his baton from the basket.)

Puppet King: Time for strings.

(He raises it into the air—and all movement stops. The Teddies go stiff mid-attack. Lucky lies panting beneath them.)

Puppet King: Remember your place… or you’ll be mine forever.

(Silence. Even Doug holds his breath.)

(Then… Agatha pulls out drinks.

Agatha : Snack time?

(Doug stares in disbelief as the Teddies instantly calm, accepting Drink cola from Agatha with eager paws and twitching noses. They look like… well, like ordinary children now, happily sucking away while Lucky rolls his demonic eyes and mutters under his breath.)

Dark Star : …How did you do that?

Agatha : (grinning as the Teddies surround her) I always carry snacks! It helps with… most things.

Mama Bear : (clapping: That was smart dear! Good job.

Lucky : (whimpering) My eye…

(Meanwhile, Bierce and Malak watch the whole scene through a floating soul-shard screen. They exchange glances—one smug, one mildly impressed.)

Bierce : …Okay. That was almost competent parenting.

Malak : (grumbling) Tch. I could’ve possessed the teddies to obey me instead of Cola bribes…

Bierce : (raising an eyebrow) And risk Doug having a heart attack? No thanks. Let him have this tiny victory.

(Back at the picnic…)

(Agatha hands Doug his own drink cola with a reassuring pat on his shoulder.)

Agatha : See Friend? Everything’s fine now!

Doug : (takes slow sip) …I need therapy after today.

Puppet King : (suddenly looming over them all) OR you could become my new puppet~ Choices choices!

Dark Star : (mouth full of stolen sandwiches from Puppet King's basket as he whispers to Lucky) Should we tell him that violates snack time rules?

Malak : Well, one of monsters had to go picnic

(As Malak says that, Lucky the Rabbit suddenly bursts through a nearby hedge with Penny and Hangry in tow)

Lucky : Oooohhhh Buddy~ We heard there's FOOD! (His long ears twitch excitedly) Blood? Pie? Whatever it is - save some for us!

Hangry : (Sniffing aggressively while eyeing Doug's plate) I SMELL… MORTAL MEAT. Delicious squishy mortal meat~ Ribsssss!

Penny : (Flutters around everyone taking pictures with her tiny chicken feet camera)Say "squishy" everyoneeee! This'll be great for my scrapbook of human snacks!

Agatha (whispering to Doug): Don't worry Friend… I won't let them eat you. Probably. Maybe just nibble a little?

Malak (grinning wickedly): Oh don't look so scared Mortal~ They only bite if you resist too much…

(Bierce sighs heavily from where she watches this chaos unfold from under an oak tree, rubbing her temples as another headache builds)

Malak : I have a list. I will called out your guys name my dear monster.

Lucky : Oh wow! A list?! I wonder how far up I am!

Hangry : Pfft, I bet I'll be at the top!

Penny : And me! I've gotten more squishy meat from humans than any of the rest of you!

(Bierce groans and covers her ears, unable to take their bragging as Malak grins wider)

Malak : Lucky the rabbit, Puppet king, dark star, Mama bear and Agatha.

Lucky : Woohoo! Top five baby! Mama always told me I'd go far!

(Puppet King lets out a deep chuckle, sounding slightly menacing)

Puppet King : (grumbles) At least they remembered me this time…

(Dark Star and Mama Bear exchange high fives, both seeming equally excited to have made the list)

Agatha: Wow… I'm honoured

Bierce : (She whisper.) Malak, take Doug with them, Cause he was being bitch and dramatic.

(Doug hears her whisper and shoots her an indignant look, but before he can speak, Malak interrupts with a wicked grin)

Malak : Ah, the mortal will indeed be attending, don't worry Bierce. I have some… special plans for our little guest.

(Doug gulps nervously, not liking the sound of "special plans")

Doug : Are you seriously……

(Malak grins wider, his sharp canine teeth glinting in the sunlight as he circles around Doug)

Malak : Trust me, Mortal, it'll be… fun. Just make sure to hold on tight and try not to scream too much.

(Penny cackles excitedly from where she's perched on Hangry's head, snapping photos with her chicken feet camera, while Lucky the rabbit starts to skip around Doug enthusiastically)

Lucky : Oh boy, this is gonna be great!

Doug : Nope, I'm pass for that.

(Malak stops in front of Doug, crossing his arms with a frown as Penny and Lucky stop their antics, looking suddenly disappointed)

Malak : Oh really? And why is that? Don't enjoy a good thrill? Or perhaps you're just scared…

(Bierce watches the scene unfold from under the oak tree, smirking, enjoying Doug's discomfort)

Doug : Because….. I don't know, the monster will hit me and eats me.

(Malak lets out a deep, dramatic sigh while Lucky dramatically clutches his chest like he's been wounded)

Lucky : Ohhhh Buddy… we wouldn't actually EAT you! Well, maybe just little nibble~

Hangry : (with an exaggerated pout) I mean yeah okay ribs ARE tempting but I PROMISE to only take one or two bones!

Penny : (snapping pictures rapidly) Orrrr we could just throw you around for fun instead? Much less messy than eating!

(Agatha suddenly pops up from behind Doug with wide eyes)

Agatha : Yeah Friend! They're not THAT scary once you get used to them. Probably.

(Bierce rolls her eyes so hard it looks painful)

Bierce : (She slap back of Malak's head.)

(Malak stumbles forward with a yelp, clutching his horned head dramatically as Bierce glares down at him with icy teal eyes)

Bierce : Enough scaring the mortal, you overgrown demon child. He’s fragile. And annoying. But we need him in one piece.

(She flicks Doug a look — half irritation, half warning)

Bierce : Doug… just go on the picnic. Eat a sandwich. Don’t bleed on anything.

(Malak rubs his head, pouting like a scolded teenager.)

Malak You hit me… in front of him? I’m your ancient nemesis, not some house pet!

Agatha : (giggling) You kinda are though?

(Lucky snorts, then offers Doug a paw with fake sweetness)

Lucky : C'mon Buddy~ We’ll protect you… from everyone else! Mostly!

Bierce : Malak, If my little employee Dougie got bleed, I will give you headshot woman. on your ass tomato head.

Malak freezes mid-pout, his red skin visibly paling under his horns as Bierce glares with soul-shard necklace glowing faintly

Malak: …You wouldn't dare.

Bierce: (calmly adjusting a sleeve, voice like ice) Try me. You may be a demon lord, but my heel goes right through skulls. Especially yours.

(Doug blinks rapidly, suddenly realizing he's not the only one terrified of her)

Lucky : (whispering to Doug) She actually did it once… turned Victor into a potted plant for three weeks.

Hangry : Best thing ever. Victor tasted like old flowers and regret.

Penny : And BOOM! Right in the butt-thing!

Agatha (grabbing Doug’s hand cheerfully): Don’t worry Friend! We’ll keep you safe from both of them!

(Malak mutters under his breath while dramatically straightening his tie)

Malak : Fine. No bleeding the mortal… unless (he asks nicely.)

Bierce : Love, don't be scared, you will have fun with them, and Agatha will help and safe you.

(Doug swallows, glancing between the bickering demons and the excited monsters. His hand grips Agatha's paw tightly)

Doug: Uh… right… fun…

(Penny hops on Doug's shoulder, snapping photos of his increasingly pale face as Doug whispers over to Bierce, still holding onto Agatha who's practically vibrating in excitement)

Doug (whispers frantically): This is not reassuring. This is the opposite of reassuring.

Bierce : (dryly) You'll survive. Probably. Have a picnic. Make friends. Maybe only lose a few limbs.

(When Lucky, Dark star, Puppet king, Mama bear, Agatha and Doug hops in the car.)

(Doug sits next to Agatha who is practically vibrating in excitement, while Lucky the rabbit drives (somehow) and the other monsters cram into the backseat, all chattering eagerly)

Hangry : Hey Buddy you got any snacks? I'm feeling kinda hungryyy…

Lucky: No! No snacks. Doug is the guest. We don't eat our guests. Usually. Now go inside the damn house, your sticky mud pig!

Puppet King : (singsong voice) "Unless they taste really good-d~"

Dark Star: Hey! No singing. EVER.

(Doug pales yet again, swallowing nervously as the bickering continues)

Puppet king : (Drives, while Mama bear sitting on passenger and looks at view.)

(Mama Bear sighs dreamily as she leans against the window, her massive frame somehow fitting into the seat)

Mama Bear : Ahhh… such a beautiful forest. Just like home. (Her voice softens.) My babies would love this place…

(Doug nervously glances at the Trigger Teddies in the back, who are silently staring at him with button eyes and twitching paws. He slowly scoots closer to Agatha.)

Agatha : (whispering) Don’t worry Friend! They only attack if you scream or run.

Doug: …I hate everything.

Puppet King : (gripping the wheel with clawed fingers) Silence in the backseat! Or I’ll turn this car around and make puppets out of ALL OF YOU!

Lucky : (kicking his feet up on dashboard) OOOOH SCARY! But also kind of hot? You’re weirdly sexy when you’re angry—

Dark Star : Ew. No. Stop that. Your look like Peter Rabbit

Dark deception chapter 5 teaser 💅💖