#trigger teddys

(Back with Bierce and Malak, she facepalms while he laughs)

Bierce : I can feel his stress levels climbing again from here…

Malak : (watching through soul-shard screen, clearly enjoying the drama) It’s a picnic. It’s supposed to be stressful!

Bierce : (glaring at him) Says the person who never had to parent.

(The monsters collectively gasp. Penny takes more photos. Even Dark Star seems momentarily distracted from brooding.)

Dark Star : …Is that an Ice Cream truck?! How? How?!

Lucky : ICE CREAM!!

(Doug just stares, wide-eyed, wondering if he'd hit his head and was dreaming this entire time.)

Puppet king : Okay okay, Calm down. I will buy you a ice cream. So, Who wants Ice cream.

(All of the monsters raise their hands, with various levels of enthusiasm. Dark star even drops her camera to put both hands up.)

Dark Star : Me! I want chocolate!

Mama Bear : Bruh….

Lucky : (bouncing around excitedly) Can I have sprinkles? Can I have sprinkles?!

Agatha : (hopping up) Me too, please!

Doug : (whispering) : Am I hallucinating? Are they seriously getting excited over ice cream?!

Mama Bear : They are..

Puppet king : Alright Let's go then.

Mama Bear : Wait! Puppet dear! I don't Ice cream!

Puppet King : (pausing mid-step, turning slowly) Oh? You don’t like ice cream, Mama Bear?

Mama Bear : (crossing arms with a huff) It’s cold. And it gives me brain freeze. I prefer warm soup.

Lucky : Ew. That’s so basic.

Dark Star : Honestly? Same vibe.

Agatha : (She tugs on Puppet King’s sleeve, whispering loudly) Maybe get her soup later… but right now — SUGAR RUSH TIME!

Doug : (still low-key freaking out) This is nightmare logic… sweet, melty nightmare logic…

Puppet King : Alright! Ice creams ordered—no refunds for regrets!

(Lucky starts chanting as they head toward the mysterious truck glowing in the fog)

Lucky : Scoop-a-doodle-doo~ Let's get that brain freeze goo~

Doug : I…I don't want Ice cream… too…. I like Oreo better…

(The monsters stop, staring back at Doug in disbelief.)

Lucky : Whaaaa- You don't want ice cream? That's treason, Mortal!

Dark Star : Oreo? Oreos are what you want?! Over ice cream?

Puppet King : …I take back every good thing I said about you, Mortal. That's a crime against snackiness!

Agatha : Well, Friend. They have Oreo ice cream.

(Doug's eyes widen as Agatha gives him a reassuring pat on the back.)

Agatha : See? Best of both worlds!

Dark Star : (grumbling) Fiiiine, we’ll get you your fancy cookie-flavored ice cream. But only because Puppet King already said he’d buy it.

Lucky : (snickering) Ohhh Buddy~ You’re lucky Agatha likes you so much.

Puppet King : (already marching toward the truck) Hurry up or I'm ordering everything without asking what flavors anyone wants!

Mama Bear : (calling after them while still seated) Save me some soup flavor! …If that exists?

Doug : (muttering under his breath as they walk away) How is this even happening…

(Bierce and Malak watch through their soul-shard screen, completely done with today’s nonsense.)

Doug : (He lays down on blanket feeling still bit scared.)

(Doug closes his eyes for a moment, just trying to collect his thoughts in peace as the monsters head off with a loudly skipping Lucky and Dark star.)

(Meanwhile, back with Bierce and Malak, Bierce gives Malak a flat look.)

Bierce : I am so over today.

Malak : (watching the screen with a smirk) Pfft, you love the drama and you know it.

(Mama Bear sits beside him, patting his back gently. Doug opens his eyes, realizing they're alone on the blanket.)

Mama Bear : (softly, voice like warm honey) You alright, hon? I know my babies can be a lot..

Doug : (trying to be polite) I-I'm fine........I think.....Just… a little overwhelmed. Your kids and others tried to possess my body like two minutes ago…

Mama Bear : (nodding, understanding) They forget, sometimes, that not all humans handle the weird as well as you do. She smiles You're a strong one.

(Doug smiles back, appreciating the sentiment even as his hands still tremble a bit.) Doug: …Thanks. Sometimes I feel like one wrong move and they'll just… pounce. Or try to eat me again.

Mama Bear : (shaking her head) Nah, they're just rowdy, like kids on a sugar high. They won't actually hurt you… probably.

(Mama Bear chuckles, resting a paw on Doug's shoulder as she leans in with a conspiratorial whisper.)

Mama Bear : …Unless Puppet King loses his patience again. Then maybe don’t make sudden movements around him.

(Back with Bierce and Malak—)

Bierce (watching through invisible soul-shard screen) Huh. That was almost… motherly of her.

Malak : (raising an eyebrow) You sound surprised.

Bierce : (sips tea smugly) I’m not the only one who underestimated Mama Bear’s soft spot for mortals~

(Meanwhile, Doug takes another shaky breath—but for once? It feels like he might actually survive this picnic after all.)

(Suddenly, a truck bell rings in the distance and the monsters return, chattering excitedly and holding multiple cones of various ice creams.)

Lucky : We got the goods!

Dark Star : With extra sprinkles!

Mama Bear : (looking excited and proud as she sits back down) Oh good!

(Agatha grins, sitting beside Doug and offering him a cup of Oreo ice cream.)

Agatha : Here you go Friend!

(Doug takes it, smiling gratefully.)

Doug : …Thanks, Agatha.

(The monsters continue munching on their ice creams like a chaotic herd of toddlers.)

Dark Star : (to Lucky with a mouth full of chocolate) Hey Lucky, guess what!

Lucky : (not even looking up from licking his cone) What?

Dark Star : Your ice cream face is even uglier than your clown face.

Lucky : (whining) It is not!

Agatha : (munching on Vanilla ice cream) It totally is. But that’s why we love you!

(Doug, still holding his Oreo ice cream with cautious delight, watches the chaos unfold. He glances at Mama Bear—who’s still sipping soup from a thermos while side-eyeing Dark Star and Lucky’s bickering.)

Doug : (muttering) …How is this my life now?

Agatha : (leaning in) You get used to it! Also—

(She suddenly freezes mid-bite as Puppet King looms behind them all.)

Puppet King : Did someone say ‘used to it’? Because I could make you literally incapable of escape. Just saying~

Lucky : (grinning with sprinkles stuck to his nose) Ohhhh he's being dramatic again!

Dark Star : Yeah yeah whatever strings-for-brains—just eat your damn ice cream before I steal yours.

(The picnic descends into laughter again. Doug exhales… and for once? It feels like maybe he'll be okay here after all.)

(Bierce sighs through her soul-shard screen.)

Bierce : …They’re idiots but they mean well.

Malak : Well, one of monsters had to go picnic

(As Malak says that, Lucky the Rabbit suddenly bursts through a nearby hedge with Penny and Hangry in tow)

Lucky : Oooohhhh Buddy~ We heard there's FOOD! (His long ears twitch excitedly) Blood? Pie? Whatever it is - save some for us!

Hangry : (Sniffing aggressively while eyeing Doug's plate) I SMELL… MORTAL MEAT. Delicious squishy mortal meat~ Ribsssss!

Penny : (Flutters around everyone taking pictures with her tiny chicken feet camera)Say "squishy" everyoneeee! This'll be great for my scrapbook of human snacks!

Agatha (whispering to Doug): Don't worry Friend… I won't let them eat you. Probably. Maybe just nibble a little?

Malak (grinning wickedly): Oh don't look so scared Mortal~ They only bite if you resist too much…

(Bierce sighs heavily from where she watches this chaos unfold from under an oak tree, rubbing her temples as another headache builds)

Malak : I have a list. I will called out your guys name my dear monster.

Lucky : Oh wow! A list?! I wonder how far up I am!

Hangry : Pfft, I bet I'll be at the top!

Penny : And me! I've gotten more squishy meat from humans than any of the rest of you!

(Bierce groans and covers her ears, unable to take their bragging as Malak grins wider)

Malak : Lucky the rabbit, Puppet king, dark star, Mama bear and Agatha.

Lucky : Woohoo! Top five baby! Mama always told me I'd go far!

(Puppet King lets out a deep chuckle, sounding slightly menacing)

Puppet King : (grumbles) At least they remembered me this time…

(Dark Star and Mama Bear exchange high fives, both seeming equally excited to have made the list)

Agatha: Wow… I'm honoured

Bierce : (She whisper.) Malak, take Doug with them, Cause he was being bitch and dramatic.

(Doug hears her whisper and shoots her an indignant look, but before he can speak, Malak interrupts with a wicked grin)

Malak : Ah, the mortal will indeed be attending, don't worry Bierce. I have some… special plans for our little guest.

(Doug gulps nervously, not liking the sound of "special plans")

Doug : Are you seriously……

(Malak grins wider, his sharp canine teeth glinting in the sunlight as he circles around Doug)

Malak : Trust me, Mortal, it'll be… fun. Just make sure to hold on tight and try not to scream too much.

(Penny cackles excitedly from where she's perched on Hangry's head, snapping photos with her chicken feet camera, while Lucky the rabbit starts to skip around Doug enthusiastically)

Lucky : Oh boy, this is gonna be great!

Doug : Nope, I'm pass for that.

(Malak stops in front of Doug, crossing his arms with a frown as Penny and Lucky stop their antics, looking suddenly disappointed)

Malak : Oh really? And why is that? Don't enjoy a good thrill? Or perhaps you're just scared…

(Bierce watches the scene unfold from under the oak tree, smirking, enjoying Doug's discomfort)

Doug : Because….. I don't know, the monster will hit me and eats me.

(Malak lets out a deep, dramatic sigh while Lucky dramatically clutches his chest like he's been wounded)

Lucky : Ohhhh Buddy… we wouldn't actually EAT you! Well, maybe just little nibble~

Hangry : (with an exaggerated pout) I mean yeah okay ribs ARE tempting but I PROMISE to only take one or two bones!

Penny : (snapping pictures rapidly) Orrrr we could just throw you around for fun instead? Much less messy than eating!

(Agatha suddenly pops up from behind Doug with wide eyes)

Agatha : Yeah Friend! They're not THAT scary once you get used to them. Probably.

(Bierce rolls her eyes so hard it looks painful)

Bierce : (She slap back of Malak's head.)

(Malak stumbles forward with a yelp, clutching his horned head dramatically as Bierce glares down at him with icy teal eyes)

Bierce : Enough scaring the mortal, you overgrown demon child. He’s fragile. And annoying. But we need him in one piece.

(She flicks Doug a look — half irritation, half warning)

Bierce : Doug… just go on the picnic. Eat a sandwich. Don’t bleed on anything.

(Malak rubs his head, pouting like a scolded teenager.)

Malak You hit me… in front of him? I’m your ancient nemesis, not some house pet!

Agatha : (giggling) You kinda are though?

(Lucky snorts, then offers Doug a paw with fake sweetness)

Lucky : C'mon Buddy~ We’ll protect you… from everyone else! Mostly!

Bierce : Malak, If my little employee Dougie got bleed, I will give you headshot woman. on your ass tomato head.

Malak freezes mid-pout, his red skin visibly paling under his horns as Bierce glares with soul-shard necklace glowing faintly

Malak: …You wouldn't dare.

Bierce: (calmly adjusting a sleeve, voice like ice) Try me. You may be a demon lord, but my heel goes right through skulls. Especially yours.

(Doug blinks rapidly, suddenly realizing he's not the only one terrified of her)

Lucky : (whispering to Doug) She actually did it once… turned Victor into a potted plant for three weeks.

Hangry : Best thing ever. Victor tasted like old flowers and regret.

Penny : And BOOM! Right in the butt-thing!

Agatha (grabbing Doug’s hand cheerfully): Don’t worry Friend! We’ll keep you safe from both of them!

(Malak mutters under his breath while dramatically straightening his tie)

Malak : Fine. No bleeding the mortal… unless (he asks nicely.)

Bierce : Love, don't be scared, you will have fun with them, and Agatha will help and safe you.

(Doug swallows, glancing between the bickering demons and the excited monsters. His hand grips Agatha's paw tightly)

Doug: Uh… right… fun…

(Penny hops on Doug's shoulder, snapping photos of his increasingly pale face as Doug whispers over to Bierce, still holding onto Agatha who's practically vibrating in excitement)

Doug (whispers frantically): This is not reassuring. This is the opposite of reassuring.

Bierce : (dryly) You'll survive. Probably. Have a picnic. Make friends. Maybe only lose a few limbs.

(When Lucky, Dark star, Puppet king, Mama bear, Agatha and Doug hops in the car.)

(Doug sits next to Agatha who is practically vibrating in excitement, while Lucky the rabbit drives (somehow) and the other monsters cram into the backseat, all chattering eagerly)

Hangry : Hey Buddy you got any snacks? I'm feeling kinda hungryyy…

Lucky: No! No snacks. Doug is the guest. We don't eat our guests. Usually. Now go inside the damn house, your sticky mud pig!

Puppet King : (singsong voice) "Unless they taste really good-d~"

Dark Star: Hey! No singing. EVER.

(Doug pales yet again, swallowing nervously as the bickering continues)

Puppet king : (Drives, while Mama bear sitting on passenger and looks at view.)

(Mama Bear sighs dreamily as she leans against the window, her massive frame somehow fitting into the seat)

Mama Bear : Ahhh… such a beautiful forest. Just like home. (Her voice softens.) My babies would love this place…

(Doug nervously glances at the Trigger Teddies in the back, who are silently staring at him with button eyes and twitching paws. He slowly scoots closer to Agatha.)

Agatha : (whispering) Don’t worry Friend! They only attack if you scream or run.

Doug: …I hate everything.

Puppet King : (gripping the wheel with clawed fingers) Silence in the backseat! Or I’ll turn this car around and make puppets out of ALL OF YOU!

Lucky : (kicking his feet up on dashboard) OOOOH SCARY! But also kind of hot? You’re weirdly sexy when you’re angry—

Dark Star : Ew. No. Stop that. Your look like Peter Rabbit