toby

why the hell am i unable to get even a single preroll ad when im actively hunting for one? adverts are normally rammed down my throat so far theyre sizzling but as soon as i want one so i can report it they all vanish??

anyway if you live in the uk and you get an advert for the latest conjouring movie that tells you to put your headphones in PAUSE IT. GRAB THE LINK. GRAB A SCREENSHOT. REPORT IT TO THE ASA.

its one of the many adverts out there that can give people seizures, seizures can kill, companies can very literally pay to kill people. report the advert. report any advert with flickering/strobing images. i dont give a shit if theres an "acceptable" amount of strobing allowed in adverts. human life is more valuable than any advert could ever be.

you should be able to get a neovagina from the claire’s at the mall for like fifteen bucks max.

head over for your walk-in gender affirming surgery and they pull out the pussy gun. "sorry we don't use numbing agents, you should have called beforehand." you come home with permanent tissue damage. but by god, you have the most sparkliest and most bedazzled-est neovagina of them all. love is love

ever since i started t i can smell it now when i sneeze. there was never a smell before. it's not a pleasant smell. take it back. why did nobody tell me. i don't want it. take it back.

they tell me i will start to grow a micropenis within six months, i do not grow a micropenis within six months. they do not tell me that my sneezes will smell. but by god, they do

The fantasy of taking everything away from someone and letting them suffer until they agree with you politically out of desperation is the treasured fantasy of incredibly controlling conservative parents who hope that depriving their kids of food and shelter will make them believe in and submit to God (parent's preferred version) and come crawling back as Good Children with Good Beliefs and Good Behaviour. It doesn't suddenly become a good and righteous tactic if you're like "oh but they did it to gay people/atheists/trans kids/girls who aren't modest enough, and those things are fine, and I'm doing it to people who believe something I think is wrong!" The fundamental problem wasn't "wrong target".

some people are afraid to be cheesy. I live my whole life on the charcuterie board

i read this in a tomodachi life voice

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

"people who use neopronouns see gender as a fashion category" yeah i'm decked out in my twenty thousand dollar gucci fawn/fawnself pronouns meanwhile you're stuck shopping for your pathetic little she/hers and he/hims at the JCPenney in your run-down mall. you are beneath me and i'm glad you've come to recognise it

You see, the easiest way to get around this issue is to simply use them all. Can't be criticized for using only certain pronouns if you use so many that they all melt together like language soup

"people who use neopronouns see gender as a fashion category" yeah i'm decked out in my twenty thousand dollar gucci fawn/fawnself pronouns meanwhile you're stuck shopping for your pathetic little she/hers and he/hims at the JCPenney in your run-down mall. you are beneath me and i'm glad you've come to recognise it

*mean girl voice* you're so brave to still be using she/her... Is that a hand-me-down?

I guess the idea of a companion animal that would eat your flesh is supposed to be upsetting but critically she doesn't do that while I'm alive. which I'd argue is the most important factor here.

a girl's gotta eat

possession horror where the thing possessing the autistic character causes them to behave in a more neurotypical way. autistic possession horror where the thing inside you is easier to communicate with than you are, the thing inside you doesn’t have a flat affect, the thing inside you doesn’t let your body stim, the thing inside you is how you were told to behave and you can only do it when you are no longer you. autistic possession horror where you will never forget that everyone liked it better than you before they found out something was controlling you. autistic possession horror where they know what’s inside you isn’t you and debate whether it would be easier for everyone to leave you like this anyway. you agree. reblog.

dare i say... guy who didn't like musicals