'i like puppy' | puppy-eyes tan (1/7)

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it’s a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there’s something to the theory, but it’s all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author’s home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don’t seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that’s it. Most they do is leave for groceries.

“You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.”

oh my god you dont know what pushing daisies is!!!! people dont know what pushing daisies is!!!!! oh my GOD anon strap in

okay picture this

Brian Fuller’s original 2007 magical realism romantic comedy with a dash of morbidity (after all, this is Brian Fuller we’re talking abt) & fairytale elements

as this review describes: “Characters & plot like Lemony Snicket, sets like Tim Burton, shots like Wes Anderson, rapid witty dialogue like Gilmore Girls, and costumes like uh, frickin’ magic.” 

everything is Super Saturated All The Time and the costume design is literally flawless

starring: asexual bakery man, very tall very kind and himbo-adjacent, has low-level necromantic powers named Ned

Ned is, for convoluted reasons, the accomplice of a film noir detective named after a fish (Emerson Cod) who looks like a hardass but secretly loves pop-up books and knitting

Ned the bakery man is a Piemaker and works in and owns a building that looks like this

(there are novelty cherry lighting fixtures)

he has a dog, who is undead, bc aforementioned necromantic bakery boy has the unique skill of being able to touch dead things and bring them back to life 

he and Emerson Cod touch murder victims, ask them who killed them, and then collect the reward. easy get-money-quick-scheme, UNTIL

Ned’s childhood crush and my life’s icon, Charlotte “Chuck” Charles, gets murdered on a cruise

he touches her once (ONCE) and is never able to touch her again, lest his necromantic powers zap her back to death. hence:

contact-free romance ensues.

 I highly recommend the show for: asexuals, demisexuals, dog people, people who like pie, fashion & costume design enthusiasts, anyone who’s a fan of film noir, people who like pie and dogs and mermaids

literally this show is my absolute all time favorite PLEASE watch it

you can watch both seasons for free here

est. 19921204

#OurMoonJinDay

I watched this as a kid and internalized it for forever

i mean, being criticized for a music video where she larped being a colonist in africa wasn’t enough for tswift to address her privilege–which goes way beyond race, given her generational wealth–in any way. being criticized for using black women as props in the video for shake it off wasn’t enough. being criticized for acting personally victimized when nicki minaj pointed out that she and beyonce were snubbed by the mtv vmas in 2015, using the classic white feminist refrain of “pitting women against each other” to paint nicki as the angry aggressive black woman, wasn’t enough. (i’m not even a fan of nicki minaj, so don’t start lecturing me about her wrongdoings. i’m aware.) being criticized for comparing the negativity she receives to homophobia, while appropriating black gay slang, in you need to calm down wasn’t enough. having a very active and large white supremacist fanbase didn’t prompt any meaningful action, either. no, the only thing that could bring tswift to speak out is marketability.

swift built her career on two things: 1) her generational wealth, and 2) being a paragon of all-american white womanhood. pale, blond, skinny, surrounded by a cadre of equally skinny famous women, always the victim of a black woman or man. victimhood is integral to white womanhood; i’m not saying that white women are never victims of injustice, obviously they can be. but to be recognized as a victim of anything in the first place, it helps to be a delicate white cis woman with a mostly family-friendly image and a privileged background. 

swift was country back when growing up on your plutocrat father’s christmas tree farm was a more profitable image. she had a faux rebellious image when that was what sold albums. her visuals and her music change to fit what sells best–more than your average pop star, which is saying something–because her music, her image, all of it, is so tightly calculated to represent the most marketable white girl next door. now that there’s a massive public discussion around racism and being gay or bi is more socially acceptable in the US than ever before, she’s pivoted to surface-level reformist anti-racism (if you can even call it that) and putting rainbows in her visuals.

Pseudonyms! Use them! Even if it’s a nickname, a favorite character’s name, a letter, your username, use a pseudonym. Especially if you have a unique name

Private information is PRIVATE. Last name, age, full birthday. Things that could be used to identify you should not be shared. Remember those “enter anyone’s name and learn everything about them” websites? They aren’t kidding around, and they’re dangerous.

Your house is your business. Don’t share your home address, school name, city, even sharing what state you live in could be risky. There’s no reason for people online to need to know this, there’s no reason for people online to ask for it. This is a red flag

Pictures are worth a thousand words. Take note of what’s in pictures you post. Can you see a state flag? A pet’s collar with a home address on it? Does that screenshot have your phone number in it? Be careful with EXACTLY what you post.

Once you post it, it’s not yours anymore. Anyone on the internet can share a post, take screenshots, repost to other websites, send to other people, etc. Once you post something, what happens to it is out of your hands. Make sure you be careful with what you post.

Face and voice can reveal a lot about you. They can reveal age, agab, in some cases they can be used to determine where you live (accents anyone?) be careful.

FOOD

Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food

grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread

different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.

some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit

SHELTER

Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment

sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it

Some churches offer short term residence

Find your nearest homeless shelter

Look for places that are open to the public

A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry

HYGIENE

A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.

Public libraries have bathrooms you can use

Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.

Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver

Local beaches, go for a quick swim

Some truck stops have showers you can pay for

Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet

Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket

OTHER

first aid kit

 sunscreen

 a travel alarm clock or watch

 mylar emergency blanket

 a backpack is a must

 downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards

 sleeping bag

 travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror

 swiss army knife