fall as well

                                 ♠  trust in me and fall as well  ♠  

chills twisted around his arms, body trembling. lodged between body wracking sobs and chills from the horror of it all, abraham brought his knees closer to his chest, praying that the pressure would keep him together at the seams that threatened to burst.  heidi had been one of those friends that abraham had found comfort and consistency in. they could go ages with no contact and when reunited, reignite and light the world on fire. he loved her, with every piece of himself, and though the wedding had been as big a surprise to him as it was to most others, it wasn’t strange. heidi was already like his sister.  and she was gone. cold, alone, and gone. the thought brought bile rushing to the back of his throat, chin shaking as he dropped his head to his knees, another sob ripping from him. he should have been stronger. he should have been more dignified. he should have shut up and let others suffer out loud, but he couldn’t keep in. how could anyone? 

open to: abraham von | @xluckyicarus​ location: house of dioscuri

“If you’re looking to take one of these again, I’m gonna need something in return to make up for it. Take it, and I’m gonna take that ring as collateral.”

Cade turned to face the shadow of dark curls by his side. He’d made a note of the man’s particular patterns since coming to the club, making them part of his usual rounds throughout House of Dioscuri. The stagger in the man’s steps had its own following, and Cade was intrigued to see if they’d make a mark that others would try to mimic. He’d take advantage of it where he could, but not before assessing his own investment. 

The vape is tilted in his direction, his to share but still the taunt to take it hangs between flickering lights overhead. 

-  “come on, man, it was an accident. i didn’t mean to yank your mod, it just happened. then the housekeeping people stole it from my room. it’s all just a series of unfortunate events and i’m a beaudelaire kid, y’know?” feigning innocence, abe reached out and collected the vape from cade’s hand, the rings the other eyed clattering against the metal and plastic body. bringing the plastic tip to his lips, thumb posed to heat the coil and draw flavored nicotine deep, abraham flashed a wink toward the owner with a smirk.  exhaling a heavy plume, abraham grinned and extended it back out to the bleach blond, leaning an elbow against the bar. “besides, it’s not like you don’t know how to find me. i mean, shit, my brother basically fuckin’ lives here, man.” 

–

“No, I did not lose something,” she smiled before grabbing the menu off of the table and flipping through it. Even though she had nothing to do with literally anything, it felt like some eyes were still casted on her thanks to her brother’s relationship with the dead. It had lessened over the past week, but she was still on edge and figured she would be better off if seen with others than on her own. It would make her less of a target for snide comments and remarks, which is why when Zoe strolled into the diner she found the first booth with someone who looked bored. “You ordering anything? Can’t decide if I want a waffle or should go for a shake and fries.”

- he couldn’t say he wasn’t curious at how casual the interaction was. abraham had met a great many people in his life, and if he had met the person across from him, he was none the wiser. fuck it, he thought. i’ll bite. menu propped back in front of his face again, abraham heaved a sigh, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “well, you could just get all three. i mean, shit why pick, right?” lips pursed in thought, he drummed black painted nails against the table for a moment, inclining his gaze toward the person across from him, now. “i think i wanna get the grilled cheese and tomato soup. but what do i get to drink? coffee sounds like it’ll be pretty gnarly. tea, maybe?”

open to: abraham von | @xluckyicarus​ location: aurelia odyssey suites

“Three years from now, I don’t know how this is gonna be, but I’m glad… I’m glad I’ve got you here with me to pretend it’s gonna be forever,” Nate said. “To pretend that anything’s gonna be forever.”

Their whole lives, Nathaniel had instilled that every moment was running out. One passed and devoured the other, and there was no telling when the satiation would end and if they’d make it through to see it. They weren’t looking to live life to the fullest, though. His own fears of a ticking in the back of his head, some undisclosed expiration he shared with his mother, drove Nathaniel to chase impulse for a quick fix because there was no telling how long they’d have to survive. For better, Nate wasn’t alone in it–– and for worse, Abraham understood it and carried its weight. 

“Everyone here… they’re not wrong. This is insane.” The cigarette he brought to his lips was more ash than anything else now, but he needed to convince himself that the world was still burning between his fingertips. He needed a promise that the chaos he used to pave every step, the flames of every bridge he burned, were still hot to the touch. This wasn’t settling. It couldn’t be. Stopping, stalling, and slowing down would be the death of him. “But that’s all the more reason to do it. We agreed that no one else is gonna understand it the way we do, no one’s gonna understand that this is the one normal we can have, Abe. Why the fuck won’t we try and make it ours before time runs out, just one thing that anyone else could have?”

There’d been little talk about why he went through with it, but there was more to it. Nathaniel had conducted the twisting of the knot between him and Heidi just as much as she had. Typical wasn’t in the books for either one of them, but this could be a chance to say they tried. 

- the whole situation had been a whirlwind. abraham hadn’t had a spare moment to catch his breath after the tour. he was right back in it, smack in the eye of a hurricane, standing against the bruising rain with his only real companion. for as long as he could remember, nathaniel had been there.  sat on the edge of his bed, plucking the strings of his first and oldest guitar to a nameless tune, his eyes raised to meet the form carving out the silence with realizations too thick to comprehend. “it is gonna be forever, shithead.” reassurance was the easiest avenue to take when indifference was a cruelty. abe had ever been the best with words; his silence was often the clearest dictation of his emotions. still, no one could rouse the voice from abraham quite like his brother could. cigarette carried from his lips to the ashtray, abe knocked the spent paper and tobacco into the small well, exhaling a plume of smoke. “who gives a fuck if it’s insane, dude? the whole goddamn world is one insane thing right after the fuckin’ other. it’s like that fucking snake eating itself. eventually there is no place to go but in a fucking circle.”  

the ouroboros spoke to wholeness or infinity, a symbol that something was everlasting. the world would always be shit, the sun would always rise in the east and set in the west, and he and nathaniel would always be this. brothers whose prophecy was to be locked in a cycle of bedlam and indulgence, twin flames glowing too brightly before they would burn out.  abraham promised forever, but some part of him knew that their forever would see them locked in youth. they’d die young, he was sure. and though there was no rest for the wicked, they’d be forced by the chemicals that raced through cold and empty veins. 

“look, it is crazy. i mean, shit, i was blindsided and i bought the goddamn ring, but crazy’s the only thing that makes sense anymore. it makes a statement, it makes things better. shit, dude, it was crazy to run the fuck away at seventeen to try and be a goddamn rockstar, but look what happened? i mean, fuck, man.” 

Back at Mel’s again. It seemed this place was starting to slowly become a habit of his now that he thought about it, but he guessed that wasn’t such a bad thing since the food was pretty good. While his visit to the diner last time had been to feed himself, this time it was because Syd needed something. He had left his lighter at home and wasn’t about to buy himself a new one so he chose the next best thing: taking someone else’s. All he needed now was a target but Syd didn’t need to look far when he finally spotted one sitting all by his lonesome. Without asking for permission to join him, Syd threw himself into the seat across from Abe and flashed a charming smile at his question. “Yeah, a lighter, actually. Figured you had one. You Vons always got something up your sleeves, don’tcha?” He wiggled his brows once to say all that was left unsaid in that statement.

- there was a glimmer of recognition about the man across from him. he couldn’t quite put his finger on the nuanced how’s or why’s, but it was there. abraham supposed that hi absence from hidehill was to thank for that. sniffing hard to break himself from his vacant stare, abe dug a hand in his back pocket. “shit, man, dunno about up my sleeve, but-” plucking the carton free, he flipped the lid, extending an electric green bic lighter from it’s place mingled with the rest of his cigarettes. a compulsive hoarder of lighters, save for those of a white variety because of superstition, sending one off with another wouldn’t be much of an issue. “i guess ass pocket is close enough, right?” 

…

Kamile sits down in a booth, setting her hands on the surface of the table. “My sanity? My life? My free choices? Name it and I’ve lost it.” The brunette exhales as she turns her head to look over her shoulder towards the front door before looking back at him. “Can you do me a huge favor and let me invade your space for about thirty minutes?”

well, shit, abraham couldn’t fault her for that. he knew the feeling all too well. the corner of his lips lifting in a smirk, his menu drooped down onto his setting. a soft smile plastering itself onto his face the musician leaned his elbows on the table, nodding slowly. “sure. on one condition, though-” he began, keeping his attention locked on hers. “tell me how you lost all that? i love a good story. and we’re prolly gonna be here a while.” 

                                    Von-Anderson Wedding

the chill of the ac seemed to tangle around him; the air loomed close up his skin, almost clammy against his jacket covered arms. abraham couldn’t tell if his hands were shaking from the cold or from something less simple to remedy; all he could hope was that the coffee helped. menu propped open on the table in front of him, one hand holding the edge of it as he read through, abraham listened to the hiss of the cushion on the booth seat across from him. he figured it was a mistake, someone sitting down before the got right back up and fled to wherever they belonged, but the seat remained taken. he afforded a single, hazel glance up, brows knitting together over the edge of the menu. “uh? didja lose something?”

Location: Fairy Trail Who: Julia Escarra & @xluckyicarus​

Julia chucked the bag of funyuns and  a pack of fruit snacks at Abe as she settled on the grass beside him. “I knew you wouldn’t bring any snack.” She teased lightly, settling down beside Abe before she laid back on the trail’s grassy patch. “When Nate rolled into town, I should have known you weren’t far behind.” The brunette chuckled, reaching for her pack of cigarettes, plucking one for herself before throwing the pack at him too. “Is your whole family back?” She asked, low key asking if his oldest brother was back. That’s the Von that worried her. “You sprouted, Abe, last time I saw you, you were about my height, shorter, maybe.”

as the electric yellow bag bounced in his lap, he couldn’t help the grin that spread across his lips. funyuns and yellow gatorade had been his snack of choice as a kid, and even now the nostalgia on his palette was one he savored in his moments of unrest. it was an unspoken gesture, one that meant love and consideration, and though many people were not shy about showing it, julia’s always seemed a little sweeter. she’d known him forever, and in that familiarity no contempt had been bred. it was better than he got and more than he could have hoped, all settled in a bag of onion flavored chips. “yeah, well. other times i’ve been back, i was just waiting for nate to handle his shit. now i’m back for longer than two days and there’s a psychopath running around chucking kegs at people, so. clearly my luck hasn’t turned.” taking the cigarettes, he lifted one free and brought it to his lips, pausing as he stared out at the grass. “from what i know, yeah. pretty sure the seven deadly dumbasses have all reunited.” breath of amusement exhaled through his nose, he lit the cigarette with the lighter, elbows rested on the points of his knees. “seven years is a hell of a time, y’know? every seven years your cells regenerate to a point where no part of you is the same. i’ve regenerated.” he winked, exhaling a plume of smoke. 

closed : @xluckyicarus​ location : outside giovannis bakery 

It wasn’t often that Maggie treated herself to a pastry from the towns bakery. She had to keep a strict diet and workout routine after having Crew, which meant that anything sugary was a once in a while type of thing. Today was a once in a while kind of day. After picking out a cream filled doughnut to go along with her caramel iced coffee, Maggie found herself a bench right outside the bakery to enjoy her snacks. She had one leg crossed over the other and was chewing on that first bite when a very familiar boy walked past her. “Now, Abraham Von. I know you did not just walk past me like you don’t know who I am.” She called after him, raising her eyebrows as she sipped on her coffee and waited for his approach.

hood pulled up over his head, cigarette burning away between his lips, abraham kept his hands tucked firmly in his pockets, so deep be could feel the surged stitches on the inside hem dig into his knuckles. it was still fairly early, for what he was used to; even beyond the jet lag, abraham had always been a night owl, preferring his silence be one be crafted from necessity rather than indifference. exhaling a cloud of smoke, he paused in step when he heard the call of his name, brows furrowed as he spun on his heel. obviously, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that people in his hometown would recognize him, it just still felt striking when he was the youngest of the von ilk that most often faded from consideration. “holy shit, mags!” a grin breaking across his face, he flicked the butt of his cigarette away, walking closer. “jesus christ, you haven’t changed and i still almost missed you, i suuuck.” 

aurelia odyssey suites, balcony suite

@xluckyicarus​

maisie didn’t want to leave her hotel suite the entire next day - or any other day for that matter. with what had happened, the flashes of brandon’s face bloodied and messy all over the floor fo the lounge - it was too much to think about. she had spent a lot of time back at her childhood home, in the comfort of her childhood bed and her cozy pajamas and her mother’s hot chocolate and forehead kisses - but now, she needed to go back to the hotel. she had dozed off early morning and now it was night, the darkness outside her window closing everything in around her. she felt disgusting, unproductive, but she didn’t care. another day of laying in bed, just letting the world around her carry on - she needed to just relax. nightmares still plagued her, on and off, and no matter how much she did sleep - it still kept her quite on edge. 

texting abe was one of the easiest thing she could ever do. abe had been a childhood friend ever since she could remember and a comfort to her in all ways. he knew exactly how to calm her down and so the relief of him coming over to her hotel suite felt like salvation. still wrapped in her blankets, cold to the touch, she knew abe had a key to her hotel room and so she laid over to the front of the bed so he could see her looking like a marshmallow of blankets. 

“abeeeeeeeey.” she croaked out, not being able to help a small smile to her lips as she sniffled. “i’m glad you’re here. now gimme those oreos and peanut butter, please.” 

he was lodged in an interesting crossroads, a purgatory of everything. he was meant to live at the aurelia, but he passed back and forth between the hotel and nancy’s house, never quite settling in to one area or the other. he was meant to be writing, planning ahead for the next album and writing with whatever muse remained intact. he was supposed to care about the sudden serial killer lurking in the darkness, but there was a part of it that seemed trivial? not trivial- expected. of course he’d return home in time to land within the shadow’s radius. of course he was meant to worry about family and friends he shouldn’t have had to worry about. and above all, of fucking course the bastard would inch himself close enough to effect one of the only friends abe could actually remember.  helping cheer up maisie wasn’t something he was intent on doing: you can’t make someone feel better after the devil launches a fucking keg at their doorstep. she was still going to feel like shit, still not be able to scrub the image from her memory, but he could distract her. the von’s were good at causing a scene, it would track that the youngest would be able to conjure up a good enough distraction. 

grocery bag in hand, he slipped into the hotel room, brows furrowing at the sight of towering blankets with a little blonde head peeking through the mass of duvets. “fuckssake, mais. can you even get your arms outta that thing?” there was a soft laugh in his voice as he poked the covers, a subtle amusement as he moved across to set the bag on the bed. “they didn’t have your regular toothpaste ice cream, so i got you toothpaste gelato instead. i figured you wouldn’t be opposed to something bougie for no reason.” lifting the container free, he slipped it into the freezer compartment of her mini-fridge, turning back to her with hands in his pockets. “so, lilo and stitch, first? or parent trap first?”

Location: Nancy’s Home (Horwick) Who: Noah Von & @xluckyicarus​​

See you in a month. It was the last text he had received from his youngest brother and the one Noah felt most protective of. There was a sense of duty there to try and shelter him from the horrors of the world and more importantly, the horrors that came along with being part of their family. Despite not having seen Abe in years, the two had kept in contact, small and infrequent, but they had. Now, Noah was just glad to have at least a small window to him that none of the other Von had. 

So, when Abe had finally arrived, Noah had already been ready to knock down the door of his sister’s house in efforts to meet with him. “Abe, open the door!” Noah shouted, knocking on the front door incessantly until his kid brother would open it. He knew he was in there. The one day he forgot his damn key to Nancy’s. “Seriously, Abe!” Knowing Abe, he was taking his sweet time to come and get the door. 

there was a lot to come down from. his largest hurdle, for the moment, was the seemingly unending jet-lag that dragged him down and clouded his senses. by some miracle, he had stumbled his way into the kitchen before noon. he stood on front of the open fridge, disassociating into the cold, fluorescent light as banging sounded against the front door. brows furrowed, abraham let the fridge handle free, listening to bottles rattle as it shut behind his retreating form. nearing the entryway, a wry smile stretched across his lips. he didn’t often keep promises, but his quip sent on the final night of his tour was solidified. it had been a month, and there noah was, slamming his fist into the door loud enough to wake the dead. twisting the locks and handle, he stood in the doorway with a grin, dark brow raised. “holy shit, dude, did you get taller again?! the fuck is in this hidehill water?”