a mess

( n/a / 35 / cis male / he/him ) — did you see NOWA SANDERS wandering around the island today? they kind of look like OLIVER JACKSON COHEN from certain angles? i heard around town that the PEDIATRIC SURGEON is PROTECTIVE, and COMPASSIONATE, but also STUBBORN , and PRIDEFUL. people say that they remind them of SLEEP DEPRIVATION ONLY SOOTHED BY MULTIPLE ESPRESSOS, DARK GREEN SCRUBS AND A STETHOSCOPE , and A BUBBLY FIVE YEAR OLD ATTACHED TO HIS LEG, and BROKEN by PALAYE ROYALE is definitely their theme song. they seem like a nice enough person, but we all know how hard it is to keep a pristine reputation in a small town. ( marie / 27 / est / she/her ) 

tw: domestic abuse, drug addiction

Who: Noah Von x Oliver Sanders Location: Oliver’s apartment

Noah turned to look at his boyfriend with a laugh as he tried to unlock the door to Oliver’s apartment; he could see him vibrating with excitement. Halloween had been a day spent in joy - more than Noah even knew was possible. They had celebrated Oli’s birthday with his family and then trick-or-treated. The Sanders went all out and Noah had loved how much fun Caleb had with his new family. Even if Oliver’s costume choice had made it damn near impossible to control himself.  Watching his son smile and play with his cousins had brought unfiltered joy to Noah’s heart. He didn’t think he would ever have a life like this again, one where he was so intensely happy.

Though his divorce still needed to be filed, but now with custody papers, Noah was ready for that next step. Next step with Gina, but more importantly, next step with Oliver. Everything he had planned was only made sweeter with the knowledge that today was Oliver’s birthday too. He could only hope that he would love all the surprises he had in store. Once the apartment door was unlocked, Noah grinned to himself and  turned to face Oli. “Okay, close your eyes and I’ll lead you inside, bunny.” Noah signed to Oliver, finding it hard to contain his smile.  He moved to stand behind his love and used his hands to cover Oliver’s eyes to ensure he wasn’t peeking  and began to lead them inside carefully. He kicked the door shut with foot and guided them towards the living room that he had set up for them. It was decorated from corner to corner, ready for a night of Halloween movies and Oli’s favorite sweets, snacks and dinner for them. Not to mention the plethora of pillows and blankets he had strategically set up on the floor for them cuddle on while they watched the movies.  It was now time for them to celebrate his birthday privately and Noah was a ball of nervous energy. Removing his hands, Noah moved to stand in front of Oliver and leaned in to kiss him sweetly as his way to tell him he could open his eyes. Once they were opened and those baby blues he loved so much were on him, Noah smiled. “Happy birthday, munchkin.” He said and stepped to the side so Olive could see his surprise. 

♠

      ELSA smiled warmly at the sight of Leon excited to see Caleb, and observed them playing momentarily until Noah’s voice wakes her up from her distraction. ❛ Hey! Fancying seeing you too. ❜ She said to him. ❛ Sorry, I can’t stand up to greet properly because of this little man. ❜ The 5 months old baby was on her lap, babbling and clapping his tiny hands, and she handed Roman to Noah carefully, and he stared at Elsa, with his tiny hand on his mouth. ❛ Thank you… ❜ She stretched her arms that was a bit dormant because of Romy. ❛ I should be the one for thanking the invitation. Leon got super excited to meet Caleb. Roman, well… I think he’s enjoying it. He gives me headaches at times… I have to take the car at night and driving around without a route until he fall asleep. Leon was so easy. ❜ She explained, while observed the boys, playing. ❛ Enough about boring topics… ❜ She looked back at him with her pair of grey-bluish hues tired, sighing deeply, looking at Romy that was smiling. The blonde already thought she was boring Noah.

x

…

Mason hadn’t plan on ever showing his face back in this town when he left three years ago, the place only having memories that he’d prefer to forget attached to them. It was hard to say no to his younger sister though, especially when she sounded the way she did. Slowly, he was telling the rest of his siblings that he had come back into town. First on his list was Noah.

Smirking, “I’m waiting for Poppy’s mom to come into town,” he pushed his sunglasses on his head, “rushing Poppy to school has been hectic.” He hadn’t realized there was so much to raising a kid that he didn’t realize without her mother to help, he was losing his mind.

xx

Out of his brothers, Mason was probably the one he was closest to. PErhaps, it was because for a little while, it had been just them, even as the other siblings had started to come to their family. Or maybe, it was because they shared such similarities in their childhood. In the end, Mason was his older brother and though he could be a dick to their kid siblings, Noah had always appreciated his honesty. It had kept him on the straight and narrow for a long time. 

Chuckling, Noah hummed in agreement - this was Caleb’s first year of school and just finding out how to get him to and from kindergarten had proved to be a headache. He needed to get some help.  “Is she following you guys down?” Noah asked curiously, always slightly confused on the argument between the parents. “But I get it - Caleb is starting school - can you believe that? - and the schedule is hectic.” He sighed, shaking his head. “Gina has been no help and the hospital has been busy but we’re making due. You should come over for dinner soon, I know Caleb would love to meet you and his cousin.” Back when Mason had left, his kid had only been two years old. For someone so young, Caleb had no idea who his uncle was. Then again, the boy was in the dark from most of the family. Noah refused to let any toxic behavior near his son. He had enough to deal with. 

It was a shame, the way things seemed to be turning out for Hidehill. The police were incompetent, taking something like a tip and flimsy evidence as enough to arrest someone, all while the real killer remained out there. She’d imagine the stupidity of it all fueled the killers amusement, going as far to send everyone a message about the next victim. “Yeah, it does seem that way, doesn’t it?” It felt obvious, someone was going to die in the near future, and there wasn’t a damn thing anyone could do about it. Yeji turned her head to Noah, offering a small smile. “I guess I’m fine, all things considered. Though, I am outside a liquor store in the middle of the night, which is probably telling,” she replied, biting her lip and glancing down at the ground for a moment. “The next letter was N, wasn’t it?” she asked softly, fully aware of the meaning behind it.

xx

It was outrageous that they couldn’t count on the police department to keep them safe and instead had to reply on themselves to figure out ways of self-preservation. Part of Noah didn’t even want to go to this wedding. If something happened, he couldn’t picture himself putting himself in a position to leave his son without a father.  “Well, ifit makes you feel any better, clearly, you’re not the only one out this late in search for solace.” It probably said a lot about them but Noah liked to think they had an excuse given everything. The reminder of the clue had the doctor inhaling sharply, “Yeah, it was.” He confirmed, a single nod of his head. They didn’t need to clarify, they both knew what that meant. Noah had a huge target on him. As did his siblings. “This wedding is a bad idea.” Noah hissed under his breath, mostly to himself instead of Yeji but the foreboding feeling only grew in his gut with each passing day. 

Maggie couldn’t help but let a smile appear on her face when he took her hand. She didn’t know if it was in her imagination, but she had always felt a connection to Noah. Usually, she stopped her thoughts before they even reached surface level in her brain because she reminded herself that he was still a married man. “You let me know if you need help with those siblings of yours. You know that I love that crazy bunch and I’d be more than happy to help out with anything.” She took a sip from her glass, setting it down on the table. Her eyes lingered on their hands still held together before she broke her eyes away and looked back at him. “He’s got a little girlfriend.” She shook her head, smiling “He is all kinds of smitten with her too. Talks about her like she puts the stars in the sky herself.”

xx

Noah glanced down at their joined hands for a moment, giving it another friendly squeeze before he let go off the physical touch. To this day, he didn’t know how Maggie could actually enjoy and love the chaos that came from his siblings. Most of the time, they were the source of many migraines but he loved them anyways. “Please, jump in whenever. I’m sure Nancy and I could use the damn break.” Even with his annoyance and exasperation, Noah would always prefer to have their whole family together. “Oh?” Noah asked, dark eyebrow quirked in question. “Wow - how are you dealing with that?” He asked her cause as a parent... that was a big step in any kid’s life. He wasn’t sure how he would feel when Caleb was old enough to start dating but his reaction probably didn’t compare to a mother’s. Gina being the exception cause he wasn’t entirely convinced she’d care. 

For a moment, he believes Noah’s sincerity. The only sign that he nearly gives into it is that Nathaniel is quiet. Lips are pressed firmly together waiting for Noah to crack first, and when he finally does, the quip of defense is given a breath of life. 

“I’m always careful.” The lie tastes sweet, and that’s why Nathaniel relies on it. 

He’s taken the words of wisdom that Noah’s thrown at him more than once to piece together his own guide. Every reason as to why he shouldn’t has only ever given Nate means of finding his own path around it. The dangers affiliated with what his body now relies on have just barely been avoided, but it’s only straight and narrow path he knows and he’s willing to go down. A nick here and there won’t kill him–– not yet. 

“I know the basics, Noah. As long as I don’t break those rules, I’m golden,” He assured him, but consideration of just how loyal he’s been crosses his mind. Nathaniel doesn’t give his brother a moment to catch it, though. His gaze never breaks his, and sincerely is easy to fake when desperation for trust is stronger. “I came to you just in case it was… somethin’ else. It’s just a rash, right? We had a crazy show the other day in a warehouse, I got snagged by a few things. I’m convinced it was that. I got a tetanus ages ago, but maybe I was due for a new one by the time this thing showed up.”

The rationality is questionable, but Nathaniel’s certainty could be contagious. Then, of course, there was deflection.

“I had to get it boosted a few years ago when our feral kid brother bit me when we were out of country. It could be that all I got was a cortisone shot, and not the tetanus. I should probably send Abe your way if that’s the case.”

xx

Noah sighed, eyes still on his younger brother’s arm as a gloved finger gently prodded at the skin around the infection. “If you were careful, we wouldn’t be here.” Noah didn’t hold back the bitter tasting truth that battled against the sugary undertones of  Nate’s well practiced lie. If he wasn’t doing the shit he did, all of this could be avoided. 

Noah wouldn’t worry every day that he would get a phone call about Nathaniel Von.

It was the crux of it all - Noah didn’t trust Nate. Despite the constant reminders and false bravado that he was being careful, there was no amount of care that would negate bad outcomes. Not today with this nasty infection and certainty not with the future they both knew he was heading. 

The older brother clear his throat and let go of the arm. “You have cellulitis, Nate, and that shit ain’t a joke. It’s already spreading - you should have come in sooner.” There was no point in chastising him - it would make no difference. “I’m going to prescribe you a antibiotics - though I would rather you stay and let me get an IV on you.” 

x

The least worries she forwarded to her brother, the less she could in turn worry herself with overwhelming him. Noah was already doing his best by providing her money she always told him she didn’t need, in order to assist with the extra bill that came with taking care of her two very grown brothers. A life where she could live peacefully without them under her roof but she also didn’t have to worry about them out doing things that could harm them in anyway was a complete dream. Sometimes, she wanted to drop everything, pick up and leave the boys to their devices in her home for as long as she possibly could. But again, she knew that wasn’t a reality she could live anytime soon. “You worry too much. I’ve got it this time, really.” 

For as long as she could recall, Nancy was one of the backbones of the Von family, keeping everyone’s heads on straight and trying her best to show unconditional love. Even if she yelled at Nathaniel on a daily basis, she still made sure dinner was made for him every night, that his bedding was clean and that he was right there in that bed she had in his room before she went to sleep herself. Often times, he wasn’t, but in her heart of hearts, she would simply hope that he would be there for breakfast in the morning. “I’m… shocked. But if he’s happy, it’s not really our place to combat it. You know, they say if you try to redirect someone’s life, their independence will feel threatened and then..” she thought about the outcome of that, pursing her lips at the imagery. “But, I’m going to get my dress soon.”

xx

It concerned him how much he knew Nancy took on for their family - he hated how their trauma's and sin had forced her to grow up so fast that he often forgot how damn young she actually was. He was nearly a decade older than her and yet, she was the one he most related too. It hardly seemed fair and it’s why Noah jumped in to lend support to her whenever he could. Their brothers, though beloved, could be leeches from the healthier aspect of Nancy. Grown man adding an extra bill to their sister when they easily made more than her was unfair as it was toxic. Noah mused then that it fit the MO for their shit show of a family. Hopefully, getting married would make Nate grow up a bit and find his own place ot live and lift some of the burden their sister. Abe would probably do better without the pressure of Nate constantly around but that seemed like a dream he’d had to stop chasing soon enough. Maybe, Mason had a point.

“It’s my job to worry, actually. You worry too much.” He rebutted, giving her a pointed looked before taking another piece of chicken. “I’ll stop by later and if the boys become to much, just tell him. I don’t mind putting them in their place.” The last thing they would do is abuse her generosity. Noah didn’t say anything as Nancy spoke, mulling over her words. It was the approach he often had with everything Nate did and yet, he felt that sometimes being uiet had its own consequences. But, Noah was well aware that telling Nate to not do this now, would end up worse. “Yeah, maybe, but I’m scared that Heidi will only make him worse, Nancy.” He sighed, not feeling like he had to hide his thoughts from her of all people. “Nate is already so...” He trailed off, furrowed brows the only indication of the level of concern he actually felt for Nathaniel. shaking it off, Noah exhaled a breath. “I’m picking up my suit tomorrow. I don’t think I’m letting Caleb go to the wedding, not with the Shadow’s threat. I have to find a babysitter.” He’d ask around, but chances are that Nehemiah or Maisie would probably be watching him. 

Emery couldn’t help but laugh at the words that left his mouth, shaking her head though she knew there was truth behind them. “I may of been out a little too late and forgotten about having to open the store.” She shrugged, approaching the counter to place her order for an iced coffee with an extra shot of espresso. “Skipping the concealer might not of been the smartest decision, but coffee seemed more important. That has to count for something, right?”

“How do you manage to make mornings look so easy?” The blonde questioned, laughing once more as he eyes scanned the items on display. “What do you think of the bagels? Are the pastries a better way to go?” There were too many options and maybe it was the leftover alcohol in her system clouding her judgment, but she wouldn’t have to make the decision alone.

xx

“I’m sure a couple of minutes won’t be a big deal but don’t worry, I’ll keep your secrets.” Noah laughed, taking a sip of his coffee before nodding vehemently. “Oh, coffee trumps everything. It’s a priority.” He would say that coffee was his source of life, but then again, many in his profession probably would too. In fact, he’d rather be a minute or two late and have his coffee than not - even if the sense of tardiness made him uneasy. He was usually extremely punctual.