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𝓐/n :: it’s 3am and instead of sleeping i’m here romanticizing men who don’t know i exist
♫ :: 𝐠𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 — 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐞
M.list ┆m.skz ┆TAGLIST
𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧
he starts memorizing the smallest details about you without even realizing he’s doing it, as if his brain had decided to catalog every little piece of you to keep as a secret treasure.
he knows exactly how you like your coffee: moderately sweet, with a pinch of cinnamon when it’s cold outside, and always with an extra cup of ice water on the side because you tend to forget to stay hydrated. when you arrive at the studio, he already has the cup ready, placed casually on the table as if it were a coincidence. in truth, he woke up earlier just to stop by the right café and order it “the way she likes it.” he never admits it. he simply slides the cup toward you with a tired little smile and says, “it was leftover.”
he notices the songs you always skip on the shared playlist. when you’re in the car coming back from an event, he watches through the rearview mirror which parts you skip, and days later he creates an entire playlist with only the tracks you actually listen to until the end. he never sends it saying it’s for you. he saves it on his phone under the name “random” and plays it when you’re around, pretending it’s something he put together randomly for the group.
he recognizes the exact tone of your voice when you’re tired. that slight hoarseness, the way the words come out slower, almost lazy. on those days he becomes more protective without drawing attention: he lowers the music volume in the studio, brings a light blanket that “was leftover,” and adjusts the air conditioning to be warmer. if you yawn, he already knows. and his chest tightens with the urge to send you home to rest, but he only offers his shoulder and says softly, “you can lean on me a little, I’m awake anyway.”
he learns the way you bite your lower lip when you’re concentrated or nervous. he starts observing this in meetings and, without anyone noticing, changes the subject or makes a little joke just to see you relax. afterward he scolds himself mentally for paying so much attention, but he can’t stop.
he memorizes the perfume you wear. sometimes he buys the same fabric softener just so the hoodie he “accidentally” leaves near you carries a scent that reminds you of him. when you wear the hoodie and comment that it smells good, he feels his face burn and turns to the computer pretending to work.
he knows which days you tend to feel more anxious. on those days, he sends simple messages at 7 in the morning: “good morning, don’t forget to eat something before leaving.” he never says he remembers your mood cycle. he just takes care of you, silently, as if he wants nothing in return.
he begins to adjust his own sleep schedule to match yours. if he knows you’ll stay later at the studio helping, he stays too, even if he’s exhausted. he says he needs to finish a track, but actually he wants to make sure you don’t go home alone. the ride is always offered casually: “I’m heading that way anyway.”
he notices the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about something you love. so he starts bringing up conversations about those topics on purpose: a new movie, an indie song you mentioned in passing, a book you’re reading. he researches the subject beforehand just to be able to talk better and see that sparkle again. afterward he spends hours thinking about the smile you gave him.
he learns your little habits: how you twist the ring on your finger when you’re thoughtful, how you tuck your hair behind your ear when you feel shy, how you sigh in relief after the first sip of coffee. every detail becomes fuel for his compositions. he writes lyrics about “someone who makes the world feel quieter” without ever putting your name, but everyone who listens feels it’s too personal.
he becomes more sensitive to your mood than he’d like to admit. if you’re sad, he notices in the first second. he doesn’t ask directly what happened. instead, he does something practical: brings your favorite snack, plays a soft song in the studio, or simply stays nearby in comfortable silence, offering presence without pressure. his love shows in actions, never in grand words.
he starts dreaming about you and wakes up with his heart racing. then he spends the whole day trying not to look at you too much, afraid someone will notice. but when you enter the room, his eyes always find yours for a second longer than they should.
he keeps all the photos you take together. he has a secret folder called “references” on his computer, but they’re actually moments of you smiling, you focused while working, you laughing at some silly thing he said. he looks at those photos in the early mornings when the longing hits hard and the fear of ruining everything stops him from confessing.
he learns to cook your favorite dish. he spends hours watching tutorials on his phone, burns the first attempt, but the second one turns out perfect. when he brings it to the dorm and says “I made too much, want some?”, the quiet pride in his eyes gives everything away. he watches you eat with almost religious attention, happy to be able to make you feel good.
he worries about your health in ways that seem exaggerated even to him. if you mention you slept badly, the next day he shows up with a calming tea that “a staff member recommended.” if you cough, he already sets aside an extra jacket. everything disguised as leader care, but the affection is visibly greater when it comes to you.
he begins to write lyrics about silent love, about someone who loves from afar so as not to ruin what is already beautiful. he plays these songs quietly in the studio when he’s alone and imagines what it would be like to dedicate one to you. but he saves the file and never shows it. not yet.
he notices when you’re cold and, without saying anything, places his own jacket over your shoulders. then he pretends it was an accident. when you thank him, he just shrugs and murmurs, “no need to thank me.”
he catches himself smiling alone when he remembers something funny you said days ago. the members start to notice that he’s more distracted, softer, more patient. he denies everything, but his heart no longer obeys the rules he tries to impose.
he plans small and impossible futures: a walk with just you by the Han River at dawn, a studio session where you only play slow songs, a whole day without schedules where he can finally tell you everything he’s keeping inside. but for now, he continues hiding, loving through every detail, every gesture, every look that lasts a second longer.
he knows he’s in love. deeply. but the fear of losing your friendship, of complicating the group’s life, of not being able to give you the time you deserve, makes him keep this enormous love inside his chest, letting it leak only in silent, sweet forms full of care.
and even while trying to hide it, the love overflows. in every coffee made with affection, in every playlist thought of for you, in every night he stays awake just to make sure you get home safely. Bang Chan may be the leader who carries the world, but when it comes to you, he becomes someone who wants to carry only your heart, with all the care and all the delicacy that a love like this deserves.
————
𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐡𝐨
he’s so subtle about it that most people would miss the signs, but if you look him in the eyes for more than two seconds, it’s painfully obvious — that soft, lingering gaze that melts just a little whenever you’re around. Minho tries so hard to keep his usual cool, sharp exterior, the teasing Lee Know that everyone knows. But with you, the walls crack in the quietest ways.
he starts showing up with your favorite snacks without being asked. not dramatically, just casually placing a small bag of the exact brand of strawberry milk candy you like on the practice room table. “they were on sale,” he mutters with a shrug, avoiding eye contact while his cats-like eyes flick back to your face the second you look away. he remembers every little preference like it’s second nature.
he watches you more than he should. during dance practice, when the group is resting, his eyes find you in the mirror reflection. not staring obviously, but soft, careful glances that trace the way you smile or how you tuck your hair back. if someone catches him, he immediately turns it into a teasing comment — “you’re doing that move wrong again” — but the fondness in his tone gives him away.
he becomes gentler with his teasing. instead of his usual sharp remarks, he pokes fun in ways that feel almost protective. if you’re struggling with a step, he corrects your posture with light fingers on your shoulders, lingering a heartbeat longer than necessary before pulling away like it burned him. “fix your arm like this,” he says quietly, voice lower than usual, eyes locked on yours a fraction too long.
he memorizes the way you take your drinks. hot americano with two pumps of vanilla on tired days, iced with extra shot when you’re energetic. he “accidentally” orders an extra one at the café near the company and hands it to you with a deadpan face. “don’t make it weird, I just didn’t want to waste it.” but his ears turn slightly pink when you thank him warmly.
he lets you into his quiet world without saying it outright. when the dorm is loud and chaotic, he finds excuses to pull you to the balcony or the corner of the living room where his cats are. he places one of them in your lap — “Soonie likes you” — and watches with the softest expression as you pet the cat, pretending to scroll on his phone but really just soaking in the peaceful sight of you.
his touches are rare but meaningful. a hand on your lower back guiding you through crowded hallways at events, gone so quickly you wonder if you imagined it. brushing a stray eyelash from your cheek during makeup touch-ups, his fingers hovering near your skin like he’s afraid to break something precious. every time, he pulls back with that signature blank face, but his eyes betray him — dark, warm, and full of unspoken words.
he notices when you’re overwhelmed. if the schedule is too hectic and you look tired, he suddenly becomes extra efficient, finishing tasks faster so the group can end practice earlier. “I’m hungry,” he lies smoothly, even though he ate two hours ago. later, he sends a single text: “get some rest.” no emojis, no extra fluff, but you can feel the care behind the short message.
he composes small choreographies in his mind with you in them. during late-night solo practices, he dances moves that feel softer, imagining your laughter filling the empty room. he never shows you these parts, but sometimes he demonstrates a new combination and asks for your opinion, watching your reaction like it’s the most important feedback in the world.
he defends you in the smallest, fiercest ways. if another member jokes too roughly, Minho shuts it down with a calm but cutting remark. “enough.” his voice is steady, but his hand clenches slightly at his side. afterward he acts like nothing happened, offering you a piece of chocolate from his pocket as silent comfort.
his smiles are different with you. the sharp, mischievous ones he gives the cameras turn genuine and boyish when you’re nearby. he tries to hide them by looking down or turning away, biting his lip, but the corners of his mouth still lift. if you catch him, he covers it with a dramatic eye-roll. “what are you staring at?”
he learns your habits like they’re choreography he needs to perfect. the way you hum when focused, how you stretch your neck when stressed, the nervous fidgeting with your sleeves. he starts mirroring some of them unconsciously — stretching when you do, humming the same tune under his breath. the members notice and tease him, but he denies it with a straight face while his heart races.
he stays late just to walk you out. “I need to grab something from the van anyway,” he says, even when it’s clear he doesn’t. the walk is quiet, comfortable. he matches your pace, hands in his pockets, stealing glances at your profile under the streetlights. when you reach the car, he opens the door for you without a word, eyes soft in the dim glow.
he gifts in the most understated way possible. a new hair tie because “you always lose yours,” or a keychain that matches one of his cats. each item is given with minimal explanation, but chosen with ridiculous care. he watches your face light up and has to look away quickly, pretending to be busy with his phone.
he becomes more patient with the chaos around him when you’re there. the usual Minho who gets easily annoyed by noise turns calmer, more tolerant. he even laughs at jokes he’d normally ignore, just because your laughter joins in. his eyes always drift back to you, like you’re the center of the room even when you’re trying to stay in the background.
at night, when insomnia hits, he scrolls through old group photos just to see your face. he saves a few secretly, telling himself it’s for “reference.” sometimes he catches himself smiling at the screen and shakes his head, whispering to himself, “this is stupid, Minho.”
he worries about you silently. if you mention a small cold, the next day there’s medicine and a warm drink waiting at your spot. “don’t get us sick,” he says gruffly, but the concern in his gaze is unmistakable. he checks on you through indirect questions to other staff, never admitting he’s asking specifically about you.
his love shows in the way he listens. really listens. when you talk about your day, he puts his phone down completely, chin resting on his hand, eyes steady on yours. no interruptions, no teasing until you’re done. it’s rare for him to give anyone that full attention, and it makes his feelings painfully obvious to anyone paying close attention.
he dreams of more but keeps it locked away. quiet dates at cat cafés, dancing together in an empty studio at 3 a.m., lazy mornings where he could finally say everything he holds back. for now, he hides behind subtle actions and sharp comments, but the love is there — clear as day in those deep brown eyes that soften only for you.
even when he tries to act indifferent, the truth slips through. a gentle hand steadying you, a perfectly timed snack, a gaze that lingers with quiet affection. Minho may be the master of subtle, but his heart is loud when it comes to you. and if you look closely enough, you’ll see he’s already completely, hopelessly in love.
————
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐢𝐧
he’s the most obvious one out of all of them, even though he’s desperately trying to convince himself (and everyone else) that he’s not in love. but let’s be honest — it’s so painfully clear that to you, it already feels like you two are practically dating. Changbin treats you like his girlfriend in every single way, acting like a full-on boyfriend without ever having kissed you. the line between “close friend” and “this man is whipped” disappeared months ago.
he always sits next to you. no matter where the group is — in the van, at the dorm, during meals, in the studio — Changbin claims the spot beside you like it’s his reserved seat. he does it so naturally now that the members don’t even tease him about it anymore. if someone else tries to sit there, he gives them a look and says “move, that’s her spot” in his deep voice, then turns to you with a bright smile like he didn’t just act completely territorial.
he carries your stuff without asking. your bag? already on his shoulder. your coat? he’s holding it. if you’re carrying drinks or snacks for the group, he immediately takes the heavier bags from your hands. “you’re small, let me do it,” he says, flexing his arms a little on purpose while pretending it’s nothing. he even remembers which bag is yours and keeps track of it throughout the day.
he checks on you constantly, in full boyfriend mode. “did you eat?” “are you cold?” “you look tired, lean on me.” he brings you water before you even realize you’re thirsty. if you yawn, his arm is instantly around the back of your chair, ready for you to rest against him. he does it so casually that you’ve both stopped questioning it. to everyone else, it looks exactly like a couple.
he gets you food all the time. not just snacks — full meals. he shows up with your favorite chicken or ramyeon because “I was ordering anyway.” he knows your spice level, your favorite sides, even how you like your eggs in the morning. he watches you eat with the softest, proudest expression, then gets shy when you thank him and pretends to be busy lifting weights.
his physical affection is constant but somehow still “platonic” in his mind. he pulls you into hugs that last way too long, burying his face in your hair and breathing you in. he holds your hand when crossing the street “just in case.” he plays with your fingers when you’re sitting together. he rests his head on your shoulder during long car rides, mumbling “you’re comfortable” like it’s the most normal thing in the world. and you let him, because this is just how Changbin is with you.
he gets jealous in the most obvious ways. if another member jokes around with you too much or gets a little too close, Changbin suddenly becomes louder, flexing harder, showing off his muscles or rapping something impressive just to pull your attention back. he tries to play it cool but fails miserably. “why are you laughing so much at Hyunjin?” he’ll mutter under his breath, pouting until you give him your full focus again.
he calls you by cute nicknames that sound dangerously couple-like. “baby” slips out when he’s tired. “jagiya” when he’s being extra sweet. “my girl” when talking to the members. he says them so naturally that you’ve started responding to them without thinking. he catches himself sometimes and gets flustered, clearing his throat and adding “uh, I mean…” but the damage is already done.
he plans his schedule around you. if he knows you’ll be at the company late, he stays late too. if you have a day off, he suddenly “happens” to have free time and suggests doing something together. “the members are busy anyway,” he says, even though he’s the one who made sure everyone else had plans.
he protects you like it’s his job. someone speaks to you rudely? his deep voice cuts in immediately, calm but intimidating. paparazzi or fans getting too close? he’s standing in front of you, using his body as a shield. he doesn’t even think twice — it’s instinct now. you’re his person to take care of.
he remembers every little thing you tell him. a random comment about liking a certain color, a movie you want to watch, a stress-relief plushie you saw online. days or weeks later he shows up with it. “saw this and thought of you,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck shyly while his eyes shine with hope that you’ll like it. every gift is chosen with so much care it feels like boyfriend behavior.
he gets shy when you compliment him. when you tell him he did well in a performance or that his arms look strong, his ears turn bright red and he tries to hide his huge smile behind his hand. but he keeps stealing glances at you afterward, glowing for hours because of your words.
he talks about you to his family. you know because his mom once mentioned on a call how much “Binnie talks about you.” he got so embarrassed when you found out, hiding his face in a pillow while mumbling “she’s just a good friend…” but everyone can hear the lie in his voice.
he falls asleep thinking about you and wakes up checking his phone for your messages first thing. if you don’t text good morning, he sends one himself — “hope you slept well 💪” with a flexing emoji, trying to keep it cool when really he just wanted an excuse to talk to you.
he treats you like you’re already his. he shares his food from the same plate, lets you wear his hoodies (and loves seeing you in them), saves you the best seat, makes sure you’re always comfortable. the members have started calling you “Changbin’s girlfriend” behind your backs because it’s that obvious.
and the craziest part? you two haven’t even kissed yet. but the way he looks at you — eyes soft, full of adoration and quiet longing — makes it feel like you’re already in a relationship. he wants to confess so badly, but the fear of ruining what you have keeps him holding back. so instead he loves you loudly through actions: carrying your things, feeding you, protecting you, holding you close.
Changbin is head over heels, and he’s doing a terrible job at hiding it. to everyone around you, it’s clear as day that this man is already completely committed. he may not have said the words yet, but every single thing he does screams that you’re the one he wants. and deep down, you already know it too.
————
𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧
he’s intense without even realizing it, like a quiet storm that keeps pulling you in. Hyunjin is always busy — schedules packed with photoshoots, practices, late-night art sessions, and world tours — yet somehow he’s constantly present in your life. he slips into your days like he belongs there, showing up in ways that feel both natural and overwhelming. he tries so hard to hide how deeply he feels, but it’s impossible. the way he looks at you gives everything away.
he stares too much. it’s not on purpose, but his eyes just find you and stay there. during group dinners he’ll be mid-conversation with someone else and suddenly go quiet, gaze locked on you across the table as you laugh at something Felix said. when you catch him, he blinks slowly like he’s coming out of a trance, then offers a soft, sheepish smile and looks away, pretending to be interested in his food. but minutes later, his eyes drift back to you again.
he gets distracted looking at you. in the middle of a dance practice he’ll miss a step because his focus slipped to the way you’re sitting in the corner, hair falling over your shoulder. “sorry, hyung,” he mutters to Chan, but his mind is elsewhere — replaying the small smile you gave him earlier. even when he’s in the middle of creating new choreography, his thoughts wander to you, and suddenly the movements become softer, more emotional, like every step is speaking about someone he can’t admit he’s falling for.
he pays attention to the smallest things. he notices when you change your nail color and casually says, “that shade looks pretty on you,” like it’s nothing. he remembers the exact playlist you made months ago and adds new songs to it that he thinks you’d like. if you mention loving a certain flower in passing, a small bouquet appears at the studio the next week with no note — just left where you’d find it. he tries to play it off as coincidence, but the details are too precise to be random.
he creates awkward silences that feel heavy with everything unsaid. sometimes when you’re alone together in the practice room after everyone else has left, conversation fades and you’re just sitting side by side. the air gets thick. he wants to say so much, but instead he just looks at you, lips slightly parted, eyes full of quiet intensity until one of you finally breaks the moment with a nervous laugh. those silences say more than words ever could.
he becomes more emotional only with you. the Hyunjin who keeps his feelings polished and artistic in front of cameras and members lets the mask slip when you’re near. he gets softer, almost vulnerable. if you compliment his new painting, his voice cracks just a little when he thanks you. when you’re having a bad day, he listens with his whole heart, eyes glistening as if your pain physically affects him. he’ll suddenly pull you into a long hug, holding you tighter than necessary, breathing you in like he needs it to survive.
even with a packed schedule, he finds ways to be there. he’ll text you at 2 a.m. from another country just because he saw something that reminded him of you — a beautiful sunset, a street artist, a cat that looked like one from your stories. “thought you’d like this,” he writes, followed by a photo. during breaks in his busy days, he calls you under the excuse of “needing an opinion on a song,” but really he just wants to hear your voice. he shows up at your favorite café when he only has thirty minutes free, ordering your usual and waiting for you with that gentle, intense stare.
his art starts reflecting you without him meaning to. sketches of hands that look suspiciously like yours. paintings with colors you once said you loved. lyrics he writes in his notebook about longing and unspoken feelings. when you ask to see his recent drawings, he hesitates, cheeks faintly pink, before showing you a few while carefully hiding the ones that feel too revealing.
he gets lost in moments with you. during late-night drives, he plays soft music and just drives slower than necessary, stealing glances at your profile illuminated by passing streetlights. the conversation flows easily until it doesn’t — and then that intense silence returns, filled with everything he’s too scared to say. he wants to tell you how you make his chaotic world feel calm, but instead he just reaches over and gently fixes a strand of hair that fell on your face, letting his fingers linger.
he tries to hide the depth of his feelings behind his usual dramatic, artistic personality, but it bleeds through in every interaction. the way his voice softens when he says your name. how he prioritizes your comfort over his own exhaustion. the lingering hugs where he rests his chin on your head and sways slightly, like he could stay there forever. the way his eyes light up when you enter the room, even when he’s surrounded by people.
Hyunjin is intensely, beautifully in love, and no matter how hard he tries to conceal it, it shows. in the stares that last too long, in the small attentions that mean the world, in the emotional openness he reserves only for you, and in the way he makes space for you in his overwhelmingly busy life. he may not have confessed yet, but his heart is already completely yours — loud and quiet at the same time, waiting for the moment when he finally stops hiding.
————
𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐱
he doesn’t even realize how much physical affection he pours into every interaction with you, but it’s constant, warm, and impossible to ignore. Felix’s love language is touch, and when it comes to you, it becomes completely involuntary — like his body naturally gravitates toward you for comfort, safety, and that soft feeling only you can give him. he tries to play it cool, but everyone can see he’s attached in the sweetest, most obvious way.
he touches you all the time. small, absentminded things at first: his fingers brushing your arm when he laughs at something you said, his hand resting on your lower back when walking through crowds, his knee pressing against yours under the table during meals. it’s never forced, but it’s constant. even when he’s trying to focus on a conversation with the members, his hand somehow ends up playing with the sleeve of your hoodie or tracing light patterns on your shoulder.
the members constantly tease him for it. “Felix, give her some space, mate,” Chan laughs when Felix is practically glued to your side on the couch. “Yeah, bro, you’re literally on top of her,” Seungmin adds with a smirk. Felix just blinks innocently, cheeks turning pink, and mumbles “I didn’t even notice…” while subtly scooting even closer instead of pulling away. deep down he knows he should create distance, but his body refuses.
he leans into you without thinking. during long van rides, his head naturally falls onto your shoulder, eyes half-closed as he seeks your warmth. if you’re standing together, he leans his body against yours like you’re his personal support. in the practice room, when everyone’s exhausted, he rests his forehead against your arm or back while catching his breath, breathing softly like your presence alone recharges him.
he actively seeks proximity. every chance he gets, he pulls you into hugs that last longer than normal — arms wrapped fully around you, face buried in your neck, squeezing gently like he needs the contact to survive the day. good morning hugs, goodbye hugs, “I missed you even though we saw each other yesterday” hugs. he holds your hand naturally, interlocking fingers without asking, giving soft squeezes when he’s nervous or excited. and the cheek kisses… he does them so often and so casually. a quick peck when he greets you, another when you say something cute, one more just because he feels like it. his lips are always warm and lingering just a second too long.
he craves comfort from you specifically. after tough practices or stressful schedules, he finds you like a magnet. “Can I hug you?” he asks with that deep, tired voice, already moving closer before you answer. once he’s in your arms, he melts — shoulders relaxing, a soft sigh escaping as he nuzzles closer. you’re his safe place, and even when he tries to hide how much he needs you, his body language screams it.
when you’re sitting together, his arm is almost always around you. not in an obvious “couple” way (at least in his mind), but draped casually over your shoulders while he plays with your hair or rubs small circles on your arm. if you’re cold, he pulls you into his lap without thinking, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. “Better?” he whispers, voice low and sweet.
he gets shy when called out but never stops. the members will say “Felix is in his clingy era again” and he’ll laugh, hiding his face in your neck for a moment before peeking out with a bright smile. “She’s just really comfortable,” he defends, but the way he says it — soft, almost reverent — makes it clear it’s much more than that.
even in group settings, he’s always touching you. playing with your fingers during movie nights, resting his leg over yours, drawing little hearts absentmindedly on your skin with his fingertip. when he’s excited about something, he grabs both your hands and jumps lightly, eyes sparkling as he shares the moment with you physically.
at night, when the dorm is quiet, he sends texts like “are you still awake? can I come over for a bit?” and shows up just to cuddle. he curls into you like a cat, seeking your warmth and the steady beat of your heart. “You make everything feel better,” he murmurs sleepily, voice deep and honest in the dark, before catching himself and adding a shy “I mean… as a friend.”
he tries to hide the depth of his feelings behind his bright, sunshine personality, but the constant physical closeness betrays him. every touch, every hug, every cheek kiss carries quiet affection and longing. he’s not just being friendly — he’s in love, and his body shows it in the most tender, involuntary ways possible.
Felix may not have said the words yet, but the way he constantly reaches for you, melts into your touch, and finds comfort only in your presence makes it beautifully obvious. he’s completely smitten, and his hands, arms, and heart keep finding their way back to you every single time.
————
𝐡𝐚𝐧
he’s nervous and incredibly talkative around you, like his brain short-circuits the moment you enter the room and the only solution is to fill the silence with words. Jisung tries so hard to hide how much he likes you, but his chaotic, jittery energy makes it painfully obvious to everyone except (maybe) himself. He becomes a whirlwind of nervous rambling, bad jokes, and sudden blushing that gives him away every single time.
he talks nonstop just to have an excuse to stay near you. it doesn’t matter what the topic is — the weather, a weird dream he had, the new flavor of ramen he tried, or how his hoodies are mysteriously disappearing (he knows you stole one but won’t admit it). he jumps from subject to subject, words tumbling out faster than he can think. “Did you know that squirrels can remember the exact locations of thousands of nuts? Wait, that’s random, but today I saw this bird outside the studio and it reminded me of that one time you—” He keeps going, cheeks already warming because he knows he’s rambling again, but he can’t stop. Talking to you feels like the safest and scariest thing at the same time.
his jokes are terrible, but he loves making them because you laugh at every single one. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? Because they don’t have the guts!” he says with a dramatic hand gesture, and when you burst out laughing, his whole face lights up like he just won the lottery. Even the members groan at how lame they are, but you always giggle, and that sound becomes his favorite motivation. He starts collecting dad jokes and random puns throughout the day just to have new material to throw at you. Every time you laugh, his heart does a little flip and he feels braver for two seconds… before the nervousness returns.
his energy turns completely chaotic when you’re around. he fidgets constantly — tapping his fingers on the table, bouncing his leg, spinning in the chair, or suddenly jumping up to show you a new dance move he just invented on the spot. If you’re in the dorm, he’s dragging you into impromptu karaoke sessions, singing dramatically off-key just to make you smile. The calm, collected Han that appears on stage disappears and is replaced by this hyper, sunshine version that only comes out for you. He tries to tone it down, but the second you look at him, the chaos restarts.
he gets shy out of nowhere, turning bright red in the middle of his own sentences. One moment he’s talking a mile a minute about a new anime he’s watching, and the next he catches you looking at him with that soft expression and completely freezes. His ears go pink, then his cheeks, and he stammers, “U-uh… what was I saying again?” He covers his face with his hands or pulls his hoodie over his head, mumbling “ignore me, I’m being weird again.” But even hidden, you can see the blush spreading down his neck.
he remembers tiny details but delivers them in the most chaotic way possible. “You said last month that you liked that one snack with the chocolate and the crispy thing, right? Well I bought ten packs because they were on sale and maybe you want some— wait, is that too much? Am I being creepy?” He talks so fast that the sweet gesture gets buried under nervous rambling, but the intention is always pure and full of affection.
when the nervousness peaks, he gets extra clumsy. he trips over his own feet while trying to show you something, spills his drink, or accidentally sends you ten voice messages in a row because texting felt too slow. Each time he apologizes profusely, face burning red, only for you to laugh and make him relax again. Your laughter is his safe button — the moment he hears it, he melts and starts talking even more.
he seeks you out in crowded rooms. even when the entire group is together, he somehow ends up right next to you, shoulder brushing yours, talking about anything and everything. If someone else tries to pull your attention away, he gets a little louder, telling another silly story or making another bad joke just to win your focus back. He doesn’t realize how obvious it is, but the members definitely do. “Han, breathe. She’s not going anywhere,” Changbin teases, making Jisung hide behind you in embarrassment.
late at night, when the chaos quiets down, he still texts you. long paragraphs about his day, random thoughts at 3 a.m., voice notes where he’s clearly nervous but trying to sound casual. “I saw this cloud today that looked like a quokka… and it made me think of you, haha. Wait, is that weird? Never mind, delete this.” But he never deletes it, and you always reply, which keeps him smiling for hours.
he tries to hide his feelings behind the endless talking and chaotic humor, but it never works. The way his eyes sparkle when you laugh at his jokes, the sudden blushes, the way he always finds a way to be close to you — it all screams how much he likes you. Deep down, Jisung is terrified of ruining the friendship, so he keeps everything behind bad puns and fast talking. But his heart is already completely yours, beating wildly every time you’re near.
Even when he’s trying his hardest to act normal, one look at his red cheeks and bright, nervous smile is enough to know: Han Jisung is head over heels, and he’s failing adorably at hiding it.
————
𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐦𝐢𝐧
he’s the master of disguised provocation, hiding every ounce of affection behind sharp, dry comments and endless teasing. Seungmin never shows his feelings directly — that would be too obvious, too vulnerable — so he expresses everything through implicância, those little jabs that sound mean to anyone who doesn’t know him but feel strangely warm to you. He’s never cruel, just relentlessly playful in that signature Seungmin way, while his hidden care slips through the cracks.
he picks on you constantly, but it’s his version of hello. “Did you forget how to walk properly or are you just trying to trip in front of me again?” he says with a straight face when you stumble slightly in the practice room. His tone is flat, almost bored, but there’s a tiny spark in his eyes that only you seem to catch. When you clap back with something equally sarcastic, the corner of his mouth twitches upward for half a second before he hides it.
his comments are always dry and delivered with perfect timing. “Wow, you actually managed to wake up before noon today. Should I call the news?” he mutters when you arrive early to a schedule, sliding a coffee toward you without making eye contact. He acts like it’s just another random drink he had extra, but it’s exactly how you like it — oat milk, one sugar, slightly less ice. He remembers. He always remembers.
he hides his attention so well that it almost feels accidental. During group photos he stands next to you “because it balances the formation,” but somehow he’s always positioned to shield you from the bright lights. If you’re quiet for too long, he throws a casual “you’re too loud today… wait, that’s not what I meant” to check if you’re okay, then quickly follows up with another tease so it doesn’t seem like he’s worried.
yet he’s incredibly caring in his own quiet, tsundere way. When you’re tired after long hours, he “accidentally” leaves his hoodie on the chair beside you. “It was too warm anyway,” he says dryly, even though the studio is freezing. If you look cold, he sighs dramatically and drapes it over your shoulders without another word, then goes back to scrolling on his phone like he didn’t just do something sweet.
he teases you in front of the members but defends you the second someone else tries it. “She’s not that bad at singing,” he says with a smirk when the others joke about your karaoke skills. But if a staff member or stranger makes even a light comment, his voice drops into that calm, cutting tone: “Let’s not.” No explanation. Just protection wrapped in his usual unbothered attitude.
he pays attention to the smallest changes. When you get a new haircut, he stares for a second longer than usual before saying “It’s… different. Not terrible, I guess.” Which, coming from Seungmin, is practically a love confession. If you’re stressed, he shows up with your favorite snack and says “Don’t blame me if it’s too sweet. You look like you need sugar.” He sits nearby in comfortable silence, pretending to read lyrics while secretly making sure you eat.
his physical affection is rare and subtle, but meaningful. A light flick to your forehead when you say something silly, followed immediately by him gently smoothing the spot with his thumb. Or when you’re sitting together, his leg pressed against yours under the table — never acknowledged, but never moved away either. If you fall asleep on the couch during a movie night, he throws a blanket over you without comment, then sits on the floor beside you so no one accidentally wakes you.
he gets softer only when he thinks you’re not looking. The members tease him for being extra sharp with you, but they’ve noticed how his gaze lingers when you’re focused on something else. How he saves the last piece of dessert for you. How his voice loses its teasing edge when he asks “You okay?” late at night through text, followed by “Never mind, you’re probably sleeping. Don’t reply.”
he writes tiny notes in that neat handwriting of his and leaves them where you’ll find them. “Your pitch was off by half a note today. Fix it.” But at the bottom, in smaller letters: “Still better than yesterday.” It’s his way of saying he’s proud. He never signs them.
even his teasing feels like flirting in disguise. “You’re lucky I tolerate you,” he says with a straight face while handing you his umbrella because it started raining. Or “Stop looking at me like that, it’s distracting” when you smile at him after a good performance, ears turning slightly pink before he looks away.
Seungmin tries so hard to keep everything hidden behind sarcasm and dry humor, but his care is always there — steady, reliable, and warm underneath the provocations. He may never say “I like you” outright, but every teasing comment, every hidden act of kindness, every lingering glance when he thinks you’re not paying attention reveals the truth.
To him, this is love: annoying you just enough to stay close, caring for you without making it obvious, and hoping you can read between the lines of his sharp tongue and soft actions. Because even though he hides it behind implicância and deadpan comments, Seungmin is quietly, deeply, and completely in love with you — in his own perfectly imperfect way.
————
𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧
he’s soft and painfully shy about it, the kind of love that makes him feel like a teenager again even though he’s trying so hard to be cool. Jeongin becomes the cutest of them all without even trying — a gentle blush that never quite leaves his cheeks, eyes that sparkle a little too brightly when you’re near, and a version of himself that feels both warmer and more nervous than usual. He tries desperately to act normal, but his feelings are too big to stay hidden.
he smiles differently when you’re around. It’s not his usual polite or playful smile that he gives fans and members. With you, it’s softer, smaller, almost bashful — the corners of his lips lift slowly like he’s trying to hold it back, but it always breaks through into something sweet and genuine that makes his eyes turn into little crescents. When you catch him smiling like that, he quickly looks away, biting his lip and pretending he was just thinking about something funny.
he becomes more careful with everything. Careful with his words, careful with his actions, careful not to stare too long even though he wants to. If you’re carrying something, he’s immediately there to take it from your hands with gentle fingers, saying “I got it” in that soft maknae voice. He walks on the side closer to the street when you’re together. He remembers how you like your drinks, what makes you laugh, and which songs calm you down. Every small thing is handled with quiet attention, like he’s afraid of messing up even the tiniest moment with you.
he tries so hard to appear normal. He’ll sit across from you in the dorm and force himself to act like he does with the other members — casual, a little playful, cracking small jokes. But his voice gets higher when he talks to you, and he fidgets with the hem of his shirt or the rings on his fingers. “How was your day?” he asks, trying to sound chill, but the way he leans forward slightly, fully focused on your answer, gives him away completely.
he gets adorably nervous in the most heart-melting ways. His cheeks flush pink at the smallest things — when your hands accidentally brush, when you compliment his singing, when you laugh at something he said. He’ll suddenly become very interested in the floor or his phone, mumbling “ah… it’s nothing” while his ears turn bright red. Sometimes he laughs nervously, that high-pitched, shy laugh that he only does when he’s overwhelmed by feelings, covering his mouth with his hand like he can hide how much he likes you.
he seeks quiet moments with you. In the middle of chaotic group hangouts, he’ll find excuses to pull you aside — “help me choose a song for practice?” or “can you look at this lyric?” — just to have a few minutes alone. In those moments his voice gets softer, almost whispery. He listens to you with his whole heart, head slightly tilted, eyes wide and attentive like you’re the most interesting person in the world.
his touches are light and hesitant, but full of meaning. A gentle hand on your shoulder when he wants your attention. Fingers brushing yours when passing something. When you’re cold, he offers his scarf without saying much, carefully wrapping it around you and adjusting it with focused care, then stepping back quickly as if he did something bold. Every touch feels like a quiet confession.
he becomes protective in the softest way. If someone teases you too much, he steps in calmly but firmly, “hey, that’s enough.” Afterward he gets shy again, rubbing the back of his neck and saying “I just thought it wasn’t nice…” while avoiding your eyes. He wants to be someone you can lean on, even if he still feels like the youngest who should be protected.
late at night he thinks about you constantly. He replays conversations in his head, smiling into his pillow when he remembers your laugh. He writes little messages he never sends — sweet, honest things he’s too shy to say out loud. Sometimes he practices saying “I like you” in the mirror, then gets embarrassed at himself and buries his face in his hands.
he tries to hide how much he cares, but it shows in everything. The way he saves the best snacks for you. How he learns your favorite seasons of anime so he can talk about them. The way his voice gets extra gentle when he asks if you’ve eaten or if you’re tired. He’s still trying to act like it’s all casual, but everyone can see how his entire demeanor changes when you walk into the room — softer, brighter, and undeniably in love.
Jeongin is the type of love that feels like warm sunlight and shy glances. He may not be bold or loud about his feelings, but the way he smiles only for you, the careful way he treats you, and the adorable nervousness that takes over whenever you’re close make his affection beautifully obvious. He’s trying his best to hide it, but his heart is already completely soft and completely yours — the cutest, most genuine kind of love.
dae’s note: chat the pms is taking me out 😻😝 anyways pls enjoy a very soft chris and a chaotically anxious reader!! (me when the fic will always be self indulgent)
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"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.
the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.
this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.
therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:
- being a cow
- being an almond
- being a woman
- being a coconut
- being in the omegaverse
- being an oat
(list is exemplary and not finite)
in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.
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I read a study once on the fuel efficiency of various types of commuter vehicles (car, bus, train) on a per person basis and the number of people needed riding public transit to match the "efficiency" of cars is shockingly low. A bus needs to carry like 3-4 people to be fuel efficient, and trains require 2-3 per train car. Both often carry two dozen or more during peak hours, more than justifying any perceived requirements for efficiency for the train or bus to provide service the entire day.
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