I've clearly turned my Tumblr into my own personal journal now. I usually do pen to paper, but I feel this is faster and I can always fix my typos and not scribble in my journal.

Today was... today was good until it wasn't. I almost lost someone I don't ever want to lose. I know it's only been a week, but getting to know her has been amazing and the best part of my days.

We had a massive misunderstanding - and she's already warned me, "I react first, think second." I can't help who I am as a person, I can only better myself.

Anyways - she said she was done. I begged for her to come see me or me to go see her. She kept saying no and finally gave in. I'm thankful she did because got to talk out everything. I told her that I want her. I want to continue to do what we are doing and getting to know each other. We continued to do our date that we had planned for today. It was a quiet drive there. I kept staring at her and she asked me to stop, but I couldn't. I didn't want to look at anything else but her. God, her. She's so fucking beautiful. Anyways, we got to our date. Ate dinner and talked quietly at the table. I again expressed that I wanted her and that I wanted to continue to do what we are doing. She kept telling me that I was going to regret it and that she wasn't the one. I explained to her about how everyone is going to have misunderstandings and miscommunication but it's about how you handle the situation and if it's something you can come back from. Clearly - this is something that was an easy fix. Just needed better communication.

After dinner, we went to get a drink across the street. We kissed, so many times. Then went to the mall to sit in the parking lot - because that's our thing. We met up in person for the first time at a Safeway parking lot and stayed there till about 2am. Then we upgraded from Safeway to a Target parking lot a couple days later after getting coffee. Parking lot conversations are the best conversations. We again, kissed. Her kisses are the literal death of me. Her lips are so soft, and her tongue. DEAR GOD, HER TONGUE. I can't even begin to put into words what she does to me.

I know this is going to be a dangerous type of love. I know that this is going to be a pretty intense type of relationship - but I'm ready for it. We cannot predict the future, nor can we assume how things are going to go. We can only live in TODAY and just hope and pray for the best. Hope that tomorrow is going to be better than yesterday.

I'm really glad that we had talked and fixed everything, because honestly, I don't know what I would do if we stopped. I like her so much already for the person she is, I want to continue to get to know her. All of her. All the good, all the bad, and everything in-between. I want to know what makes her tick, what makes her soft, what makes her fold. I want to know every single tiny fucking detail. I want to love the parts that she hates. I want to love the pieces that everyone else has broken. I'm not saying that is going to happen right now, but when the day comes, I am so fucking ready for it.

I feel like I'm jumping around in this whole post and I probably am. But we have so much shit in common - not necessarily interests but things in our lives. Things that we have experiences. It's almost like we are the same person. We have been so fucking close to each other yet so fucking far. Same friends and groups of people. The times where she is at one place and I was supposed to go but didn't. It's been a wild time learning everything and being shocked at everything.