i wish i could follow through

@javisterling​

“Alright, be honest with me. Do you think Mel is gonna kill me when she sees the birthday present I got her? ”

“You think there’s a bone in her body that could hurt you?”

“Yea, I’m not really a small talk kind of person. Kind of just prefer when a person gets to the point.” Maybe it was how she was raised or her previous job experience but the idle chit chat phase always made her impatient. 

"Then how do you ever get to know someone?” Javi wondered. “There’s no point to us talking, we’re at a party, we’re standing next to each other, we’re having a conversation. People make small talk. What do you like to watch, have you read this book, where was your last vacation? Unless you’d want to tell me about all of your childhood trauma?”

“Could’ve fooled me,” he teases in return. “Oh – no, she’s my cousin. Came down here to visit family. She’s been stayin’ at my place.”

If he kept denying it, Adam would only latch onto that even more, so Javi just shrugged. He’d been doing a lot of that lately. Pretending not to care about a lot of things. “She has an interesting personality,” Javi said carefully. “I did not know she is your cousin. Who is staying with you. So her last name is McDowell?”

Arlene narrowed her eyes at Javi, a smile playing on her lips. “You sure? You didn’t sound all too excited by it a moment ago,” she teased, though let out a laugh as he continued. “Those are fighting words, Sterling. You sure you wanna go there?”

“Arlene,” Javi grinned, arms outstretched, “you’re tellin’ me you believed me being humble? That makes me happy. I don’t want to get too excited, but it’s nice sometimes. To share some art with the world. You wouldn’t duet with me?”

“Doesn’t matter how it ended. I’m not out here tryin’ to make a move on Mel, but it sure as shit sounds like you might wanna.”

“It’s hard,” Javi admitted. “I miss her every day, all the time. But it ended for a reason, and there’s no way to fix that problem. There’s no compromise when it comes to kids.” 

owenheine·:

“Who didn’t he have a crush on when we were twenty three,” Owen quipped, amusement etched into his features as his gaze flickered back and forth from Javi to Tuck. His eyes paused on Javi as he raised a hand. “One, it definitely is a thing. I’ve heard it myself.” He turned to Tuck then, his index finger still pointed as it went from Javi to Tuck. “Two, what kind of answer is might be? C'mon, don’t make us grovel.”

A lot of people had come and gone into Tuck’s mind since they were twenty three but it was beside the point. There wasn’t really a point to that at all if he really thought about it. His eyes back and forth between the other men, trying to find enough words get through the topic. “No groveling, cause I won’t tell.”

“It’s Brooke Parker,” Javi said, looking at Tuck’s stoic expression. He and Bennett were two peas in a pod like that, if they didn’t want someone to know a damn thing, no one would know. “It’s fine, we’re all adults here, you don’t have to tell us anything.” 

“You always have that one person who can actually sing at a party, though. It’s the token karaoke guy.”

“It is, but it is one that I never got used to payin’,” he admitted, “I swear no matter how many duets mama wanted to do, I was never that good.”

“Yeah, it’s very different from what you’re used to.” He’d thought about it, once, going into the army, but whatever motivated people to do it hadn’t motivated him. “How’re you adjusting aside from the singing in public thing?”

Dixie chuckled, shaking her head before stating, “Save yourself time and just admit I’m right at the beginning next time.”

“I can count on one hand the amount of times you’ve been right about something.” 

“Okay… it’s like, do you ever feel like you’re putting more into a relationship than someone else?” Delilah bit down on her lip, “Like… I don’t need boys to buy me things, they usually don’t buy me things I like anyways, but he could’ve at least written me a nice note. Don’t I deserve at least that?” she asked, quickly shaking her head after a moment, “Actually like totally don’t answer, I don’t wanna know.”

“Not since I was seventeen,” Javi pointed out. When he’d been dating her sister. That was odd to bring up now; Delilah’s problems seemed messy, the kind of thing young people got themselves into all the time. “Deserve is such a strange word. It should be about what you want. And finding someone who can fulfill that. If you want someone who buys you nice things and writes you nice notes, then,” he shrugged, “either tell him, or find someone who just does those things, Delilah.” 

susanmontgomery​:

FLASHBACK: the double date | LOCATION: MOBILE ( 3.5 yrs ago ) | @melodyschaffer​, @levimcntgomery​ & @javisterling​

After the events that had occurred the weekend before, Susie Montgomery proposed an idea to shake the gloom away and lighten their lives. A weekend one didn’t wish to relieve was past them, and she hoped to erase some of its marks. A double date with the closest of friends out of town was the grand plan that had seen them to Mobile. The restaurant was set, picked out of a handful of sensational options, and plans were had. Even if they were old pals having grown up with Melody and Javi fitting in perfectly to their collection of friends, they were worth taking out on the town for something fancy, not that it was needed. She wore her best dress, having somehow managed to slip into it after having had three kids and honestly looked dressed to impress. What wasn’t made better with a fancy dinner and the promise of a night on the town with people you adored. They would always love one another no matter how one dressed, and regardless of the effort Susie made to look stunning, “Mel, you look gorgeous. Javi handsome as always, I’m thrilled Levi and I could take you both out and that we could get his mother to babysit. This place has incredible reviews.”

The weekend had, in simple terms, been mentally taxing. Frosford had a stillness to its air, one felt only fairly, and Melody was appreciative of a night away. It was almost funny, considering a trip home usually left her wanting nothing more than to waste away with some cheddar biscuits and pie from Beulah’s or a greasy meal from Star Diner. But right now, dinner in Mobile with Susie and Levi, where she could pretend there were no problems to tend to between her and Javi, seemed close to perfect. Time with them always was. A smile rested on her face and she allowed her eyes a playful roll before replying to Susie, “You look like you’re straight out of a magazine, but that’s nothin’ new. Don’t you think?” She asks, turning to Levi. “I guess I could say you’re lookin’ alright too,” she shrugs, the smile rising. “But, again, that’s nothin’ new.” She loved Susie and Levi’s kids – they were, frankly, the light of her life, an easy reason to make a trip to their house whenever she and Javi visited. “Surely you’re both great company, but just so we’re clear, I’ll be missing those three the entire night.” @levimcntgomery​

@levimcntgomery​

Ideally they’d figured the wedding would be a fun weekend to see everyone at once, and maybe the next couple of days would involve some good downtime without either of them having to rush off for a hectic shift at the hospital or for meetings. Javi hadn’t expected to be so distracted during the whole trip, his thoughts scattered all over the place. The way he’d seen Lemon, the way he’d had to carry her— he’d wanted her to be happy. He’d wanted her and Owen to be happy together. Because he’d been lucky enough to find that, he thought, looking at Mellie. “Eh,” Javi shrugged, laughing. “Levi’s okay. Still kinda looks like he’s twelve, if you ask me. You’re still out of his league, Susie.” As they walked towards the restaurant, his hand brushing his wife’s, he took it into his own. “Doesn’t matter, she still loves your kids more.” 

Eyes shifted to where he pointed. Oh no. “Yeah…” she stated, slowly backing to stand more behind him like he was a shield, “Not a fan. You should thank me though, there’s bad and then there’s Mariah. I think you’d rather taste my attempts at cooking than hear me attempt anything involving singing.” 

“Mariah, you’re acting like we’re going into battle.” She was almost completely behind him, and Javi didn’t want to turn around and let her win this. Whatever this was. Instead he reached behind him to find her arm and gently pull her back forward. “Doesn’t matter. It can’t be that bad.” 

“How long until we stop the debate prior to your admittance of me being right? It’s a lot of work when we get to the same conclusion each time.” 

“Dixie,” Javi pleaded with his ex-sister-in-law. “Please. I’m a simple man, say it so I understand what you’re talking about.” 

“He likes to bring it around to see if he can out sing me. It’s never happened,” Jolene teased. “Are you not going to sing? You scared?”

“I’m not scared, I— I love singing, actually, I just don’t want to be actually good at a party where everyone’s having a good time being bad.”

Well it was no clear he had not imagine Javi was avoiding him. Giving the other confused stare, Ricky shook his head then nodded. “No, yeah, I get it. I guess it’s kinda weird after…” He lifted his hand and let it fall on the cart handle, surely, he didn’t need a reminder of the divorce. “But hey, it doesn’t have to be. Neither Nadia o me are going to pick sides or whatever.”

owenheine·:

Tuck was unresponsive for the most part, leaving Owen to turn to Javi when his friend broke the silence. “I’m not gonna take his phone,” he replied, shaking his head all while leaning over to glimpse at Tuck’s screen. The first thing he noticed was the picture. Was that— “Brooke Parker? You’re textin’ Brooke? Or are you… what do the kids call it? Flexting?” He turned to Javi for confirmation as he continued. “You know, like flirting and texting?”

The moment he heard Javi’s suggestion about taking his phone, Tuck shook his head ready to smack either one of them on the head. “Fle—” he couldn’t even finish the word as he turned to face Owen. He wasn’t sure if flexting really was a thing, one of the many Owen must’ve picked up from one of the high school kids or if he just made it up himself. He’d attempt to pass it off as something someone else said too. “Might be.”

“Of course they will. If they don’t I’ll make ya.”

“Something from this century, old man.”