thanks but im gay

when i say that talking to very offline gay people in real life is important what i mean is my workplace sponsored a seminar i attended today run by a local lgbtq+ advocacy organization and the speaker was an elderly gay man who mentioned how a lot of people his age are uncomfortable with the word “queer” because they’ve been hurt a lot by it but many younger folks identify with it so it’s always best to just ask someone how they feel about it before using it for them and i could only feel a profoundly tired sadness that this guy who understood the community through slightly dated terminology would get ripped apart for all that as if he doesn’t have a more empathetic regard for other people than like 90% of the bitches on this site

I am Begging you Stupid Assholes to Quit Calling Queer a Slur.

normally i ignore stuff like this but i was very struck both by the suggestion here that the 70 year old queen who shared his experience of almost being outed at 11 by a group of older children screaming that he was a queer at him must be aligned in some way with violent transmisogynist ideology because he wanted to highlight the importance of respecting the differences in intracommunity experiences, and the absolutely smug and juvenile insistence against just… not calling people things they don’t like to be called. is this how you talk to people when you recognize them as faces instead of just an opinion with a screenname too 

creating an entire sexuality just to include members of a marginalized group that would already be included in your sexuality doesn’t make any sense. like hello. i’m not a lesbian. i’m davidsexual. i’m attracted to women and jewish women. that sounds like weird bigoted nonsense right?

bisexuality is just attraction to anybody regardless of gender so why does there need to be a special term for when you like to date trans people?

defining a sexuality around trans men and trans women feeds into the idea that trans men aren’t men and trans women aren’t women. in fact, it feeds into the idea that they’re not either. which is also a common transphobic view of trans people. that they’re neither gender and they’re both just genderless-things. also defining a sexuality around non-binary people just feeds into the idea that non-binary people are a monolith third gender rather than a large spectrum of people’s individual unique gender experiences.

the part about defining pansexuality around trans men and trans women is obvious transphobic nonsense. but also… the fact that non-binary people can be lesbians and can be gay kinda contradicts the idea that you need to be pansexual to date them doesn’t it? and if non-binary people can be ANY sexuality and can date gay men, lesbians, and bisexual people…. that kinda means… bisexuality and pansexuality are the exact same thing. the only difference is one is based on not seeing trans men and trans women as the gender that they are, and a misunderstanding of what it means to be non-binary.

okay but Jesus was (most likely definitely) asexual and also immortal???????????? 

what made you think this was appropriate

I saw someone the other day call being against the military “terfy” and now someone is calling the idea that we should be nice to children “terfy” so I think we need to go over how terf isn’t some throw away term for “person whose argument I disagree with that also reminds me of this amorphous group of bad people that exist in my head” and very explicitly refers to a coherent group of radical feminists who advocate for transphobic violence -__-

"anyone and everyone who thinks queer is a slur is either a terf or brainwashed by terfs" is such a batshit insane opinion it genuinely baffles me how common it is on here

at this point im just blocking everyone who tries to argue with me about this lmao im done trying to reason with yall

the fact that there are people on this site who didn’t even know what terf MEANT before seeing that one post saying “spell it out, trans exclusionary radical feminist, if you’re gonna call someone a terf” is just depressing as hell for… so many reasons

someone sent me an anon earlier that was like “i told someone not to derail a lesbian post and they said i was a terf and i’m crying because i don’t want to be associated with those disgusting people” and i’m… it’s so bad how much terf has been misused

the word terf has basically become interchangeable with Extra Bad Person or Person I Don’t Agree With and if this site actually cared about trans women they’d stop fucking using it so liberally

it’s really convenient for tme people to erode terf into meaninglessness because it means they can use it for any cause they like and get to outright ignore trans women and transmisogyny that they themselves are often complicit in, almost like they’re doing this shit on purpose 🤔

i didn’t realize how prevalent it is for ppl to think that lesbians are biphobic out of hate but bi women are lesbophobic out of self preservation & trauma like newsflash they’re both done out of hate when will y’all stop trying to defend lesbophobia & delegitimatize the severity of it esp in gbt spaces? it’s bad no matter who’s doing it there’s no justifiable reason as to why a bi woman is lesbophobic shes lesbophobic bc she’s ignorant & full of contempt the same way for a lesbian being biphobic stop saying dumb shit like “oh well lesbians are biphobic bc theyre mean & evil but a “lesbophobic” bi woman is probably someone who has a lot of trauma around lesbians & would rather date other bi women so it’s ok😔” like no bitch she’s evil too

and it just goes to show how much y’all truly believe all lesbians are oppressive by default

and when i hear ppl bluntly say lesbophobic bi women don’t exist it’s like…lesbophobia exists everywhere. no one is exempt from perpetuating lesbophobia bc the entire world is lesbophobic. lesbians will never be free from that kind of bigotry bc unfortunately that’s the hand they’re dealt with. and it’s not to say bi women are more lesbophobic by nature nor are “most” bisexual women lesbophobes but u certainly can’t pretend lesbians are never faced with prejudice bc bi women aren’t a monolith and bad ppl lurk in every community. that’s the sad reality. by denying that each community has its flaws all ur doing is hurting an already vulnerable group of ppl & isolating them even further. and y’all love to forget that lesbians don’t benefit from their sexuality in any way which is why shit like this actually has, u know, legit consequences. anyways if u know biphobia in lesbian spaces exists then u should damn well know lesbophobia in bi spaces exists too & if u can’t see it that’s only bc u don’t want to see it

i think a current problem we have rn with lgbt people is the assumption that everyone has to fit into one of the four letters evenly and it’s really confine for most people and that isn’t to say terms like “bi lesbian” are justified bc they aren’t but i mean more in a way like “you donot have to define your gender / sexuality” at all like, it isn’t needed, ofcourse it’s great to know who you are and it’s especially freeing to say “i know for a fact i’m trans” or “i know for a fact i’m gay” but recently i see a lot of people assuming they have to quickly group themselves in order to find validity in their identity when that isn’t the case at all

the pride flag industrial complex

but seriously: thinking about how ppl in the west are OBSESSED with symbols and visual indicators and little markers and acknowledgement of identity as a manifestation of marketing and brand culture & as a product of this particular ‘late’ manifestation of capitalism, and how this has affected how we approach the marginalisation of LGBT people and liberation politics as a result

The ever-increasing number of ever more specific flags, the constant arguments and redesigns and all that other bullshit surrounding them has got so ridiculous, I mean I say it all the time that it seems almost completely forgotten that the central point of the communities they were supposed to represent was to unite us by the ways in which we are similarly marginalised, but the endless crap over which specifics people fall under and whether these specific microlabels are perfectly right or you’re an invader for using them and not something almost exactly the same, all this as if it’s the be all and end all of what the community is, it’s a great and terrible example of the signifier eclipsing the signified.

“hey so i know you fought tooth and nail for basic rights for your community and that the rainbow flag is stained with blood but me and the rest of the gay teenage dsmp fans think that your flag is incorrect and you should use this ugly recoloured lesbian flag instead” do you not realize how you sound have you lost your mind