UNDYING

an independent SAMAN.THA FR.ASER of the NETFL.IX FEA.R STREET TRILOGY. written by bee! focusing in on the themes of ; dying but not being dead. not dying when you were supposed to. feeling responsible for something out of your control. missing important information. finding and losing yourself at the same time.

          “  so  you’ll  come  with  me  and  the  girls  to  the  game !?  ”   grabs  the  other’s  hand  and  jumps  excitedly  ,   giant  grin  on  her  lips  .    “  there’ll  be  an  after  party  regardless  of  the  results  -  jason’s birthday  -  please  come !  ”    *  @wytchseen​  ✨

i cant think of st verse without NOTE TO SELF, DON’T BE GAY IN INDIANA! re: the opening number of the prom playing in my head

         it   feel   almost   wrong,      ungrateful,      to   feel   something   other   than      …      okay.      glad   that   he   wasn’t   one   of   the   more   unlucky   few   who   have   lost   their   family      +      home   in   the   reckoning   of   the   century.      her   question   darting   back   to   him   makes   mike   draw   a   breath,      a   rather   forced   smile   spread   tight   across   pursed   brims.      he   still   has   a   home   to   sleep   in      &&      a   family   to   come   back   to,      others   don’t   share   that   luxury      :      how   is   he   supposed   to   look   her   in   the   eye      +      say   that   everything   in   his   life   is   going   to   absolute   shit      &&      he   doesn’t   know   what   to   do      ?      even   the   guiles   of   teenage   angst   hasn’t   rendered   him   that   tone   deaf   in   the   face   of   his   apparrent   privilege   in   a   situation   this   dire.         "         yeah,      they're      uh      …      fine.      you      know,      coping.      we're      lucky      our      house      is      just      a      bit      shaken      up,         "         &&      it’s   still   in   one   piece.      even   if   his   life   is   in   complete   shambles.

         "         what      about      your      family      ?      i      haven't      heard      anything,         "         he   tries   not   to   pry,      but   he   is   worried.      he’s   worried   about   everyone   around   hawkins.      they   live   in   a   place   where   everyone   knows   everyone      —      the   good,      the   bad      &&      the   ugly.      what’s   the   point   in   living   in   such   a   small   community   it   you   choose   not   to   help   each   other   out      ?         "         you      should      come      over      for      dinner      sometime.      i'm      sure      my      mom      would      love      to      see      you,         "

     “yeah. good. i mean - - - i’m glad it’s okay. your house.” SMOOTH, fraser. she looks down at the box she’s in charge of and puts another toy into it, trying not to think too much about how scared the kids this box will go to must be. how sad. sam rubs an eye and steadfastly ignores the low buzzing that has taken up residence in her ears since the earthquake, a fuzzy sort of static sound that sets her on edge and makes her head ache. “oh. uh - - - yeah, they’re good. i mean ... like, safe. mom and her husband got out of here and i, uh, decided to stay with my dad.” it’s not like that’s gonna be a secret for long. it’s hawkins, even in disaster, and if there’s something that has always been true about this place it’s that the people TALK. there’d been gossip when sams mom left her dad. there’d been gossip when she got remarried. there will be gossip about her leaving, and leaving sam here.

              they’re    two    very    different    girls    ,      but    it    works    ,      and    chrissy    has    found    this    sort    of    solace    at    sam’s    house    ;      her    mother’s    pressures    and    expectations    aren’t    placed    on    her    here    ,      she    can    just    ,      relax    .      even    if    her    mother    warns    her    about    sam’s    reputation    ,      how    jason    tells    her    how    girls    like    sam    weren’t    …    normal    .      SHE  THINKS  SHE’S  STOPPED  CARING,    so    much    .      and    bambi    eyes    flicker    over    to    sam’s    ocean    blues    ,      she    nods    before    sitting    up    ,      moving    closer    to    the    blonde    .        “    i    haven’t    had    my    hair    braided    by    someone    else    in    ages    -    ”      she    admits    ,      looking    over    through    dark    lashes    .      and    she    feels    seen    here    ,      safe    and    protected    under    sam’s    touch    .      girls  were  so  soft,  so  kind    -    how    could    she    not    love    them  ?        “    same    .      i    love    hawkins’    but    …    i    feel    so    uneducated    here    ,      does    that    seem    weird  ?      everyone    here    is    just    …    they    never    change    nor    grow    ,      you    know  ?    i    wanna    get    OUT    for    college    .      experience    new    things    .      figure    out    what    i    like    and    what    i    want    .    ”

     chrissy is NICE. not that the other girls, spread out across her moms living room floor in sleeping bags and bundles of duvet aren’t, but there had been a sort of ... hesitance from them. the sort of hesitation that makes sam’s stomach go to the bottom of her feet, like they know something they haven’t. sam doesn’t know how deep the rumors about her have CUT lately, how close to the truth they edge. chrissy hadn’t seemed unsure, though. “my mom used to do mine every night,” the brush sets to work, carefully and gently carding through chrissy’s hair, “i sometimes, uhm, fell asleep while she was brushing it.” THE WORLD WAS EASIER BACK THEN, elementary school a fond but vague memory.

         hawkins   has   never   been   the   best   place   to   live   in   by   any   means,      but   at   least   it   had   one   thing   going   for   it.      it   was   safe      :      the   type   of   town   where   you   know   your   neighbours      +      wouldn’t   be   afraid   to   leave   your   door   unlocked   at   night.      though,      as   of   a   few   years   ago      —      everything’s   turned   into   a   total   shitshow,      to   say   the   least.      despite   that,      for   all   the   shit   that’s   happened,      he   never   thought   he’d   find   himself   in   this   position,      with   @wytchseen​      &&      so   many   others   in   his   class   piling   up   donation   boxes      +      helping   those   who   weren’t   so   lucky.         "         you      doing      okay      ?         "         who   is,      really      ?      but   it’s   worth   to   ask,      right      ?

     red-rimmed eyes swivel to look at mike wheeler when his voice pipes up from beside her and she wills her hands to stop shaking as she sorts through donated toys and children’s clothes ; she’s making a box for the wright family, who have a little five year old boy and a mother who hasn’t been seen since the ... EARTHQUAKE. sam dutifully ignores the needling knowledge of the smell of sulfur and rot and the strange red tinge of the slices through the earth and does her best to give mike a smile. 

if  this  doesn’t  work,  deena  doesn’t  want  to  think  about  the  likelihood  of  sam’s  statement  being  accurate.  for  the  first  time  in  a  long  time,  deena’s  optimistic,  because  she  may  crumble  otherwise.  this  had  to  work,  she  just  got  sam  back,  she  doesn’t  want  to  lose  her  again.  when  sam  apologizes,  deena  finds  it  difficult  to  look  at  sam  again.

“  no―  don’t  be  sorry,  i’m  the  one  who  treated  you  like  shit.  ”  she  was  angry  at  sam  for  leaving  her,  jealous  that  she,  herself  couldn’t  escape  shadyside,  &&  afraid  that  sam  would  leave  her.  so  she  just  ripped  the  band aid  off,  left  sam  before  sam  could  leave  her.  “  &&  stop  saying  this  isn’t  gonna  work,  cause  it  is.  things  are  gonna  be  okay  again.  ”

     DREAD settles in as her eyes start stinging and her throat feels thick and like it’s difficult to swallow. she’s not gonna start crying. no way. she made it this far without the waterworks and it’s not like they’re gonna help at all now. sam drags the mop across the floor and watches the streak of red grow. her palm stings and she tightens her hand around the handle while swiping at her eyes with the other in what she hopes is an inconspicuous move to try and keep her eyes clear of tears.

for  a  very  brief  moment  she  can  feel  herself  blush,  but  now  is  not  the  time  to  be  flustered  over  a  simple  form  of  contact.  they  needed  to  be  running,  so  robin  will  put  her  feelings  aside  &&  do  as  sam  says.  when  sam  says  she  has  to  run,  she’ll  run.  “  what’re  we  running  from  exactly?  ”  given  hawkins’  history,  there  were  probably  a  million  things  they  could  be  running  from.  “  i  mean―  i  know  it’s  definitely  something  bad,  i  just  wanna  know  what  we’re  potentially  dealing  with.  ”

    her  mom  says  sleepovers  are  dangerous;      too    much    junk    food    ,      too    much    makeup    ,      too    much    boy    talk    ,      too    much    giggling    …    too  much  fun    .      her    mother    was    strict    with    what    went    around    her    and    what    went    in    her    ,      and    she    had    to    BEG    to    spend    her    last    night    with    the    other    girls    .      she  feels  lucky  to  be  here,    to    be    with    …    sam    and    the    others    .        but    mostly    sam    .      something    about    the    blonde    always    made    chrissy    feel    at    ease    ,      at      peace    -    like    she    wouldn’t    be    judged    for    eating    a    brownie    at    a    slumber    party    .        “    too    much    keeping    me    up    .      sometimes    i    just    wanna    …    shut  it  all  off,      you    know  ?    ”

@wytchseen liked for a thing!

max fidgets in her hospital bed–– it’s not that she isn’t grateful to sam for coming here, it’s just… she thought she’d be more ready to hear about it. about vecna, the upside down, whatever the hell is happening to hawkins. but if there’s more to know, max needs to be ready. she’s working with a whole slew of setbacks now–– her whole life has been upended. she has to learn to navigate the world all over again, without her sight, without the strength she used to feel. no matter how scary it is, max will take anything that might make her stronger. “so… they said you, like… saw something? that you…” she swallows. “you were with vecna too.”