are you okay yet?

I  REMEMBER  EVERYTHING  THAT  YOU  HAVE  FORGOTTEN.

independent original character written by bee (she/they, 24, est).

sparrow.     innocence, big dreamer, waking up too early, walking home, being afraid of meeting new people, slim hands, always cold, reading a book under a tree, the smell of the forest, missing your home.

eagle.   independent, caring too much for others, sharp looks, walking down the city late at night, the tallest and more spectacular building, iron, being single and okay in a world that tells you that being single is bad.

swift.     falling in love easily and heavily, traveller, the infinity of the bluest sky, storms, broken smiles, forgetting people who used to be your beloved ones, feeling out of place, mistrusting people, a fleeting romance.

crow.     feeling as if you have seen so much and as if you know a lot, prejudge, tight hugs that leave you breathless, a grey sky, serenity, intelligence, being left behind, chains, smoke, the pride of someone wise.

dove.      petals, jealousy, being tired of living with the same old faces, whispered secrets, marble, sundresses, white clothes, the first sunset of winter, pride in who you are, learning to get over someone.

seagull.     family, golden light, the sea murmuring in your ear, summer afternoons, caramel ice cream, collecting seashells and other things and calling them treasures, living breezy and carefree, swimming in sunlight.

canary.       artistic, getting excited easily, dancing and singing while you are alone, looking at your friends having fun, no phone, being afraid of judgement, spring, a meaningful gift, the first ray of sunlight.

cassie watches her agony   (it is a strange sort of twisting,   the way her features dim and her eyes grow cold,   the way pain seems to live and breathe over her face).     she presses a hand to the other’s back and guides her down:   the cut stone chairs are smooth and cold,   which cassie hopes brings some comfort.  shit,  maybe it doesn’t,   though.    there’s no way of knowing how much something sucks until you experience it yourself.     ‘‘    do you want me to try to find you some water?    ’’     she asked,   pressing her slushie against the other’s forehead.

its saturday we’re in a heat advisory its time for me to go to my job outside and melt

‘     you  don’t  need  to  apologize.     ’     (   it’s  okay.   )   warmth  tugs  at  her  lips,   comes  to  nest  behind  her  eyes  as  she  looks  from  the  treeline  to  circe.   try  as  she  might  to  understand,   julia  can’t  quite  decipher  the  tension  that  clung  to  the  air  in  the  other  woman’s  presence.   a  buzzing  not  unlike  the  dome’s,   but  somehow  different.   it  didn’t  seek  to  embrace,   to  strangle.   

you’re  looking  in  the  right  place.   her  voice  cuts  through  the  whisper  of  wings,   monarch  gathering  at  the  cusp  of  julia’s  shadow,   drawing  her  attention  back  from  her  thoughts.   away  from  its  call.     ‘     what ?     ’

          twenty-two minutes, sixteen seconds.   the specificity of it makes camille’s head whirl, and that’s even before the names begin. still, she’s glad for the smile that breaks across circe’s face. recognizing her relief brings one to her own, too, a shy chuckle slipping from the corner of her mouth, a loose lock of hair tucked back to reveal the brilliance of it.

          ❝ sounds like mary’ll have some great recommendations, then. soup it is. ❞

          camille falls into a comfortable silence for a moment, a typical thing at circe’s side; her gait moves a bit faster at first, leading the way out of instinct before remembering it doesn’t make much since to. matching the other’s pace again, she pulls in a breath, the breeze brisk with the oncoming storm. something like 19 minutes now, she supposes; only one of them could know for sure.

          ❝ d’ you wanna talk about it? ❞   camille asks, the words starting before she can stop them. she cringes in response, anxiety welling in her chest, her hands fumbling in front of her with a rushed,   ❝ sorry, i— no pressure, obviously, i just— i know it can help sometimes. ❞

     SHE DOESN’T LET THE SURPRISE THROW HER ; IT’S THE USUAL RESPONSE. circe may be somewhat sensitive about what people think about her, she’ll admit it, but to wince at every moment that makes others heads feel woozy with the weight of the knowledge she bears every day would make every waking moment full of weeping. so she keeps on smiling as they walk down the street. circe’s gait is the usual odd mixture of stride and stumble as she does her best to avoid brushing up against anyone else the pair of them pass on the path to the diner.

@circc​. call.

     ‘ I don’t normally, um – ’ Balfour stood there with a slowly-but-surely melting ice lolly in each hand – the Fab, a classic, one he had been assured was Callum’s current favourite, and the strawberry parts of which were slowly dribbling over Balfour’s knuckles – feeling a bit like an idiot. Fair enough. He sort of was one. ‘ I don’t just make a hobby of standing around with lollies and stuff, promise. ’ No need to go broadcasting his last-minute cancelled plans, though he supposed the offering out one of the Fabs was probably enough to signify that. ‘ You want one, though? Hot today. ’ 

HER  NAME  IS  A  DANGEROUS  THING  TO  HER,  NOW.          a  weapon  that  can  be  used  against  her.     as  a  fugitive  wanted  by  the  crown,  and  as  one  being  hunted  by  rendon  howe,  the  mere  sound  of  her  own  name  made  her  nervous.     and  to  hear  it  on  from  an  unfamiliar  woman  waiting  for  her  on  the  road  made  her  wary.     balfour   &   their  small  party  still  confer  a  ways  back,  making  sure  they  have  all  the  resources  they  need  before  they  stray  too  far  from  lothering.          “     yes?     ”          she  calls  in  reply,  drawing  closer.     there  is  little  place  on  this  lonesome  bridge  for  an  ambush  of  bandits  or  assassins  to  hide,  and  she  is  one  woman.     the  thought  crosses  her  mind  that  she  might  be  an  apostate,  and  a  skilled  enough  mage  could  kill  her  before  her  companions  could  come  to  her  aid.     but  what  motive  did  an  apostate  have  to  kill  her?     maker,  when  did  she  become  so  paranoid?     all  she  had  done  was  call  elethea  by  name   &   that  had  sent  her  spiraling,  weighing  every  threat  that  she  might  pose.

the  girl  is  even  stranger  up  close;   everything  about  her  appearance  is  normal,  yet  odd.     not  threatening,  but   …   unsettling  in  a  way.     she  made  the  hair  on  elethea’s  neck  stand   &   sent  a  shiver  down  her  spine.     her  strange  speech  did  not  help  to  put  her  agitated  nerves  at  ease.     skeptical,  elethea  keeps  a  few  feet  between  her  and  the  strange  woman  who  knows  her–  knows  of  her,  but  cormac  approaches  her  fully,  and  sniffs  at  her  hands.     elethea  smiles  placidly,  resting  her  arm  against  the  hilt  of  the  sword  sheathed  at  her  hip.          “     i  feel  i’m  at  a  disadvantage,  you  know  my  name,  but  i’ve  yet  to  learn  yours.     what  news  have  you?     ”

     ELETHEA IS WARY AND CIRCE CANNOT BLAME HER. circe would be wary too if their spots were reversed. there are blades hidden around every corner, pointed at the hearts of the remaining couslands. were circe a more mercenary sort she might be like the theoretical mage elethea frets about in this moment, but circe has little use for the coin howe is offering for the heads of the couslands. the gold would forever reek of blood anyways, and it is the sort of thing circe would never be able to wipe from her hands. “circe croft,” she replies with her name first, the sort of thing that often helps to relax those disarmed by her, a human name for their lips to form around. hands spread for cormac to sniff at and circe smiles momentarily at the dog before turning her gaze back towards elethea.