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American Horror Story: Actors Youβll Never See Again
American Horror Story: Catholic Lesbian Alien Nazis
American Horror Story: Bitch! Supreme! Bitch! Supreme! Bitch!
American Horror Story: Oh My God β thatβs Pepper! Pepper, right? From that other season?
American Horror Story: Lady Gaga
American Horror Story: American Horror Story
American Horror Story: Litany of Suburban Gays Totally Have a Complete Freak Out
American Horror Story: Give the Bisexuals Everything They Want
all fanfiction is funnier and sexier and vastly better-written when you read it at three in the morning, in the dark, lying on your side, tucked into bed, with screen rotate turned off. thatβs just how it works. thatβs just facts.
killing eve 4.01: a concept
we open up back on the bridge! eve and villanelle are Full Gazing! they start walking toward each other! (eve steps first.) their paces quicken! finally, we see them nearing each other in a wide shot, breathless, finally close enough to touchβ
we cut to eveβs flat, where they are awkwardly tucked up in bed together, staring at the ceiling with hilarious expressions of distress, not making a single move. there are Too Many Feels. they are paralyzed. now that there has never been a better logistical opportunity to jump each otherβs bones, they are Overcome and Cannot.
villanelle, valiantly fighting against the awkward silence: βthanks for letting me borrow your toothbrush.β
βi didnβt.β
βoh. (beat) eve, i borrowed your toothbrush.β
cut to title card!
eve and villanelle figure out real quick that they have to DISAPPEAR because THE TWELVEβS PISSED about villanelleβs slight disregard for following orders recently.
carolyn helps them find a place to hide in, like, some podunk super quaint off-the-radar english village.
thatβs right! weβre going villaneve bottle episode! other characters, weβll see you later in the season! (thanks for serving up some undeniably exquisite snark in your brief appearance, carolyn.)
fake?? marrieds?????? (eve is the one to initiate the scheme when it briefly breaks villanelleβs brain as a concept when someone thinks eve is her wife. villanelleβs brain is tired right now and can only handle so much. eve polastri: the boss of fake marrieds-ing is a concept that i would follow into hell.)
eve is veryΒ ββ¦β about quaint village life and expecting a hot fuzz style plot twist at every turn. villanelle is tickled as hell that people actually live like this.
villanelle ponders what she might be now that sheβs not a devastatingly talented assassin. we get a lot of hilarious content of her trying various things.
βmaybe i am meant to be a birdwatcher.β
βare you serious?β
βwhat?β
βis β¦ is anyone meant to be a birdwatcher?β
(cut to eve and villanelle toting around binoculars and a bird watcherβs manual. thereβs definitely a bit where the binoculars are around eveβs neck and villanelle grabs them to look through them and eveβs like ARGH but also fond.)
thereβs a lot of attempts at baking. they may get somewhat violent. but villanelle is going to BAKE A CAKE for her FAKE WIFE/REAL SOULMATE, dammit!
they get to know their neighbors, a nice lady and her no-good husband who gradually reveals himself to be an abusive asshole of the highest order. he is probably really suspicious of eve and villanelle and feels like theyβre Up To No Good.
thereβs a bit where villanelleβs chopping wood for the fireplace and eveβs likeΒ βNOPE!β at the sight of an ax and villanelleβs like,Β βoops, maybe i should not have manipulated the love of my life into committing ax murder. it seemed like such a good idea at the time!β because, you know. theyβve got some issues to work out. this episode should be a festival of cute shenanigans AND harrowing pain.
eventually stuff with Horrible Abusive Neighbor Guy gets so terrible that his wife is in some serious danger, and eve and villanelle swoop in to try to help her. villanelle has assured the wife that if things ever get bad, just call her, She Can Help. this seems a little hard to comprehend about a cheerful weirdo birdwatcher chick, but when stuff gets dire, the wife goes for it.
this definitely turns into eve and villanelle, like, impromptu murdering this dude. not on purpose! it just kind of has to happen through the course of events!
and as soon as this dude has been triumphantly shuffled off this mortal coil in some gross weird way that he earned, villanelle starts to get that Gleam in her eyes again.Β βcombat babyβ by metric probably starts playing because what isΒ βcombat babyβ by metric for if not this exact situation??
she and eve lock eyes, breathing heavy, absolutely In The Sexy Murder Zone
and then they FLY into each otherβs arms and just go absolutely wild.
(now they have a new purpose in life!! killing shitty people to help not-shitty people! thereβs SO a market for that! they are basically batman! eve doesnβt have to be a god damn birdwatcher!! huzzah!)
(and so begins our season of trying to defeat the twelve and also, you know, do some Morally Upstanding Assassin-ing on the side. and jumping each otherβs bones a lot. a lot.)
SEND IT TO LAURA NEAL NOW

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Each season of Killing Eve has ended with someone attempting to kill someone:
Season 1: Eve attempting to kill Villanelle
Season 2: Villanelle attempting to kill Eve
Season 3: The writers attempting to kill me
@magnolia.mountain
Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.
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Roads of Zion
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Shout out to everyone doing the hard yet necessary work of posting about fictional characters kissing online.
Ephemeral, Antonio Di Cecco
Doreen and Diane
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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