random things my professors have said starters (pt. 2)
splattermemes:
More out of context quotes from my college professors. Enjoy and feel free to make any changes ! Part one here: x
“You are a beautiful field of flowers.”
“My daughter wrote, ‘I’m going to wear a choker every day of the year’.”
“I don’t think he has a soul.”
“Boobs.”
“Wait, I’m still talking!”
“You shouldn’t be laughing, __. It’s not cool.”
“*imitating crying*”
“My voice is usually more silky and smooth.”
“And fuck.”
“That gets me here *pats heart*.”
“My teachers hated me.”
“When you’re home in bed, I’m thinking of you…that sounds creepy.”
“Why are we here?”
“I’m like a TED Talk guy.”
“*sticks up middle finger*”
“Why don’t you hit a kegger this weekend?”
“I don’t know what I’m going to say half the time.”
“UGH! Go to bed.”
“You know the scientific method? Good. I’m gonna go over it anyway.”
“Like if you have a scarecrow fetish.”
“My handwriting is bad because I don’t have time for this.”
“Dogs have little minds.”
“It’s gangster.”
“I don’t want to know what Freud would say.”
“What are you doing?”
“*laughing* French.”
“It looks like he’s smoking a blunt, but he’s not.”
“How is the pizza in the vending machine?”
“*face palm*”
“I’m a Mets fan. There’ll be no talk of Yankees in this room.”
“My grandmother told me, ‘marriage is a business’.”
“I was a wild kid out on the streets.”
“Don’t say weird things at a kids’ soccer game.”
“Uhm, try harder.”
“I must be a demigod.”
“The journey doesn’t end as an adult.”
“You see what happens when you get too comfortable…you die.”
“F…U…C…”
“Either marry the right guy or I’ll kill you.”
“*haughtily* This is my playlist.”
“I can’t believe I’m gonna draw this out.”
“Have you seen Black Panther?”
“And then you’re like the guy from Moana, ‘you’re welcome’!”
“They’re on the moon, diggin’ for gold.”
“She lightly stabbed him.”
“We like to do things like that. ‘Cause they’re cool.”
“Nobody likes a smartass.”
“Don’t write down ‘brain=garbage disposal’.”
“It was only $2.”
“You want the chips, you see the chips. You can’t get to the chips.”
“Oh look, there’s a bear. Let’s go.”
“You could picture my dog flying around the city with a cape.”
“We’ll get back to Beyonce in a second.”
Were you sitting over there before?”
“Why are you so upset? Chill out.”
“That’s ageist.”
“Who brought me here? What’s happening?”
“That’s why people drink alcohol.”
“I’m not enforcing alcohol.”
“Hey, Snow Princess.”
“EAT YOUR PEAS!”
“EAT YOUR OATMEAL!”
“I don’t care if you’re not happy.”
“Do you know the song…Gucci Gang?”
“You’re never going to beat me at Scrabble, no matter how long you live.”
“There’s no way I’m gonna die.”
“My dog is 14.”
“Hey, let’s make sure there are no adults around so we can really get into these books.”
“I’m too short.”
“Deal with your own shit.”
“I said I was gonna do it so I’m gonna do it.”
“What do they want?”
“You have to tell me if I’m talking crazy.”
“CHALK.”
