Mini rant: I find trying to navigate the space of adultness frustrating. There is so much that if you don't do things exactly when you are expected to, you are punished later. "Too old for this. To young for this." I really don't understand at all why things are so fucking restricted to a specific age, or a specific milestone. I wasn't ready to figure out my whole life at 18. Most people weren't. But now that I am 26 almost 27 and I am more sure of what I want I can't cause I "should" have 10 years ago. The thing that makes it even more annoying to me is I have spent the last decade basically trying to exist as a normal person, then having to spend years fighting my health and the medical system to figure out why my body does the thing it does. And I am not even finished. Its ultimately deflating to know that I basically can't do anything for myself now. I mean I can, but its different. I can't go a normal route anymore. I have to make something different work. And now I get to figure out whatever the fuck it is I need to do. As an addendum, if you make it through the post, I am honestly ok. This frustration is really like 5 or 6 years old, and I will keep doing things to try to make my life better. I just needed to get it out today like this.
