esc hot takes

San Marino - achille lauro you will always be famous

Moldova - this for sure will become the song that's played at every romanian wedding from now on 

Ukraine - go off kings, and especially carpet man

France - this cures my pre-exam session depression

Italy - shout out to that period in march when i played this song on repeat

Netherlands - im a simple lesbian, i see a pretty girl with a pretty voice and i fall in love

Estonia - i usually hate this type of songs but stefan is impossible to hate <3

Romania - male presenting nipples…

Lithuania - hey uh… please step on me queen

Norway - unironically great production from a joke entry

Belgium - he was the coolest person that night and actually i really liked his outfit

Czech Republic - i still can't decide if she has a good voice or not but this slaps

Sweden - i tried really hard to hate this but i'm not strong enough

Portugal - i swear i heard this in a dream like 5 years ago

Georgia - lock me SIDEWAAAAAYS…. you're so right besties

Finland - i audibly gasped when i saw the guitar lady

UK - great voice and hair but i talked with my friends the entire time and i really don't remember much

Cyprus - we could have had it all…..

Denmark - funky women rocking it out is always a win please give me more

Ireland - i had zero expectations so it was a pleasant surprise but still mediocre. love her energy tho

Austria - idk how she was live but the studio version was just okay

Poland - what if an earthquake really started? would he have kept singing?

Serbia - sorry guys too experimental for me

North Macedonia - we could have had it all part 2…

Montenegro - my god what a voice. can i have the wi fi password please

Iceland - i wish i remembered this

Slovenia - good luck on your exams guys

Germany - oh my god the indie singer accent….

Albania - we could have had it all part 3…

Armenia - what a boring song… where is athena?!

Croatia - can we please stop this wave of swiftie musicians 

Greece - bathroom break song

Azerbaijan - if i have to see azerbaijan in the final one more time i am going to commit acts of unspeakable violence

Spain - how can people vote for a song with such cringe lyrics

Latvia - fun staging and pussy eating can't save you from having a wack song

Malta - what you are is boring sorry sweaty xx

Australia - did i hear that right? we're not the same? sorry you'll have to sing it again.

Bulgaria - when can we have some mom rock on eurovision…

Switzerland - girls do cry when singers turn their mediocre songs into nfts