✨Writer✨

(WandaNat x Reader)

-***TRIGGER WARNING***

This chapter contains heavy depictions of suicidal thoughts, ideations, and an almost attempt. As well as self deprecation, and themes of depression. This will be upsetting for some readers, so please take proper care if you choose to read this chapter. You do not have to, nor are you required. Please Take care of your heart first, it is precious.🩷

Before you get too worried, no this does not have a bad ending, it’s more of a hopeful ending. To spare you any further anxiety early.

As well, this story ties in heavily with my own thoughts and experiences that I’ve had at one point or another, so is personal to me and took a while to write. I’m still not completely happy with it, but with these types of things I write I almost never am, and I know purely it is simply my own anxiety that kept me from posting and making edit after edit.

All that said, again, please be careful reading this if you are currently struggling or have struggled in the past with these thoughts and ideations, I will NOT be upset if you choose not to read. But if you do choose to read it, Enjoy, and thank you. 🩷-

Warm.

Cold.

Two opposing players on the field of your skin, playing a game where their objective is obtaining for your body any semblance of sensation. Of feeling.

Feeling. You hadn’t done that in a while. You wished you had. You wished you could. You didn’t.

The rain is blindingly cold, near freezing due to the last dregs of winter slinking beyond time and peering its way into spring.

It seeps through the rough, dirty fabric of your clothes and slithers unpleasantly through your long-soaked, terribly greasy hair. The cold itself still lingering in the atmosphere has ingrained itself into your bones by now as you stand here.

You’re shivering. Not that you entirely really notice or care. You’re barely here anyway. Nothing but a fading ghost in the daylight.

You can acknowledge there’s a warmth here too. Not in a way that would be of any sort of comfort, however. Warm tracks of slightly saltier water were carving themselves into your pale and sunken cheeks.

You’ve been crying silently for a while.

You think probably your whole life.

The rain is cold, but your tears are warm. It’s a weird combination of physical sensation where you wish it would be replaced by some, any, emotion as you stand here alone.

You’ll always be alone.

The warmth feels a cruel mockery to your situation. Knowing that this warmth should be a blanket, where instead it’s a fever.

A white hot poker scraping down your face, fading into the biting, cold numbness and mixing with the rain as it continues on its path.

You think maybe you’ve stood here for endless eons by now, blankly staring at the plunge, allowing the rain to wash your dirty frame for the first time in months, and allowing all background noise to bleed out from your vicinity, as if it were the north pole of a magnet and you the south.

‘Nothing is worth this. I’m not worth this.’ The thought circled your blank but swirling mind.

You weren’t sure if the thought was even really yours, not having been able to actively put much, if any, effort into thinking lately, you just knew that the meaning behind it was true.

And that’s why you were here. Alone. Numb. Invisible.

You couldn’t seem to make your brain catch up with the events that led you here to this ledge, you just knew where you were but had no recollection of how that came to be.

“No umbrella? You’re braver than I am.” The voice came from behind you.

You didn’t turn. Didn’t feel the need to look and see. There was no curiosity to sate, you were just numb. So you let them continue.

You can feel them staring. Sizing you up, figuring out what to say to get you down, probably. That’s how it always happened. You were tired of that too, among many other things.

Tired of all the fake care.

You could just hear the next words that always inevitably flew from these types of people’s mouths.

‘Don’t do this, come down from there, it’ll be okay, you have so much to live for, just try to think of something that makes you happy!’

They didn’t know. They never knew. So they just said whatever bullshit phrases they saw in a book or on TV.

Those phrases made sense in the fictional scenarios. Because they were fictional. Pretty words and empty promises written in ink on white sheets, hold no meaningful weight in the crushing reality of the real world. But sometimes you wanted to scream at them for forcing the words off the page and into your reality.

How dare they say that? They didn’t know you, they didn’t actually care, you were just the spotlight for the signal that would lead to their virtue. A pawn. A heroic story to tell their real friends later on in the night.

Not a person. Not real. This person would be no different from all the others, this you knew.

“Honestly I’m surprised, my knees can barely handle a one degree change in our house, but you’ve been out here awhile.” They say this like they’re certain of it, an indisputable fact of which they’ve always had the knowledge of.

‘No shit.’ You thought angrily. Why couldn’t they just leave you alone?

You didn’t turn to look at them. Didn’t move to respond. Only staying as still as you had been before they showed up, hoping they would get the hint and just leave.

Everyone always leaves anyway.

‘This is too much, y/n. I can’t help you.’ And then they’re gone. Too fast for you to reply that you didn’t want them to help you. You just wanted someone to hear you. For anyone to listen. No one does.

No one will.

“Honestly, I don’t know that we’ve seen this much rain in a while. It’s such a cliche thing to say, but truly we needed it, I know my garden has loved it.”

That had you snapping your numb, albeit now slightly irritated, gaze to her.

She was beautiful, you could logically admit that to yourself. Red hair that barely touched beyond her chin, green eyes trained on your face, and soft features that were so pink and so full of the life you wished you could have experienced instead of the one you got.

‘What is she even saying? She’s talking to me about the weather now? As if I’m not swaying on a ledge five stories up in the air?’ You thought to yourself, not allowing your irritated confusion to make itself known across your features.

You make no effort to reply, only continuing to stare blankly at her.

“I mean it. I grow all these wonderful herbs for my wife for her teas, she kills every plant she even breathes next to.” She huffs a knowing laugh, one tinged with a timbre of shared memories that you weren’t privy to.

You still stare. Why won’t she just leave? Why is she still here, telling you all this?

“I know that I could probably use some of her tea right now. In fact, I was on my way home just now thinking about it, it’s been so cold coming into spring this year.” She nods to herself, almost like she’s not really talking to you but more to herself.

You turn away from her. Letting your head mechanically maneuver itself back to its original downward position. Staring again at the physically ending but spiritually endless plunge.

You should probably take that plunge now.

‘Just get it over with.’

Your foot twitches imperceptibly, barely whispering forward at the edge, but you move no further than that.

‘Coward.’

If the woman notices she doesn’t comment or even flinch at the action. For some reason this further irritates you.

“I’m Natasha, by the way. I’m also pretty late, was gonna be home an hour before now but I got caught up in my errands today. My fiancé is always telling me to just make a list so I don’t get distracted, and I do, but I can never seem to remember to bring it.” She continues, talking to both you and herself simultaneously.

“Please go.” Your voice is so hoarse. You’ve barely spoken in days and using it now feels like glass raking a patchwork of tears in your throat.

“I probably should yeah, she’ll start to worry soon. She always does, but she also always makes tea for rainy days, says it gives me something cozy to come back home to. I can’t really argue with her.” You can’t bring yourself to utter anything else to her, already exhausted beyond belief at the effort just two words had siphoned.

“You should come with me.” She says next, and it sounds firm, sure. More like she’s telling you, not asking. Almost as if she knows you will anyway, and she’s just predicting it now.

You look to her again, trying to figure out her angle in all this. Why? Why did she care what happened to you? Why you? You didn’t deserve it. That fact was so obvious to you, yet this person is stood here next to you with pink cheeks and gentle eyes and looking at you in a way that feels too warm.

Too good.

Good wasn’t for you.

You don’t deserve anything good.

“Come on, we’ll be late. You’ll love her tea, it’s unlike any other, and before you leave anywhere you should try some.” She says ‘leave’, like you’d just been heading to your home before this, as if you even had one to begin with.

Your home didn’t want you.

You don’t say anything else, but you move your gaze to her eyes again. Searching for any answer to your question, and you’re not even sure what you’re asking.

“It’ll still be here when you come back.” She says, nodding at the ledge and holding her hand out to you in invitation.

You don’t know what possessed your freezing, exhausted limbs to move in her direction, but they did all the same. Your body moves without your brain’s permission, screaming when your fingers are enclosed by hers.

Even more now, you’re walking. Just slightly trailing behind her, following her to wherever she was leading you. You didn’t care to look around or find out.

Now you’re standing as still as you had been previously. In front of this person’s house. Their home. Something you didn’t have and that even if you wanted, couldn’t go back to.

It drives that knife in your heart a little deeper.

She fumbles her keys a bit, not nervously you noticed, just clumsily, trying to find the correct one. She was too calm about this situation, you felt. Too natural for something so foreign to you.

She found the right key. Turning it in the lock, she opens the door, gently pulling you inside. Not really even pulling, or actually touching. Just hovering an arm behind your back, not physical, but guiding.

Like you were a scared lamb that needed to be directed back to its pen. Oddly it felt both condescending and foreignly comforting. You were grateful she was giving you the direction, but almost insulted that she felt you needed it.

You didn’t need anyone. No one would want you anyway.

But you supposed maybe you did. It’s not like you were even really paying attention to where your feet stepped, even though your gaze hadn’t left the ground the entire way here.

She lightly guided you into the entryway and closed the door behind her, locking it again and putting her umbrella and coat away.

She reached around the coat rack and opened what you assumed was a closet of some sort, though you still hadn’t brought your gaze up from where it pierced the floor.

You silently wished to yourself it would open into a gaping maw and swallow you whole.

You jumped when something warm came into contact around your shoulders, taking a frightened step back from her and searching her with wild eyes.

She held out a towel horizontally, her arms positioned in a way where you surmised that the warm sensation on your shoulders had actually been her attempting to drape the fabric around you.

Why? That was the reverberating question in your too empty mind.

Why comfort you at all? Why not just come home without you? It would have been so easy for her to do, to just keep walking after she’d seen you. To just leave you be in the cold you knew you deserved.

Her unprecedented and slightly annoying tenderness had managed to at least give you an emotion to process instead of the crushing pressure of numbness. Confusion.

You supposed maybe her actions were not entirely useless after all, even if you knew they would be fleeting. They had gotten you to feel something, if nothing else.

You hated it.

Another emotion now. Anger.

This is too hard. Too confusing. Too irritating. Why couldn’t she have just left you alone?

“Hey not a problem, I get it. I’m more of a warm shower kind of person myself when I’ve had a long day. There’s one upstairs.” And with that, she put the towel back in the closet where she’d pulled it from, and continued walking into the house.

She didn’t look back at you to follow her, and hadn’t really even invited you to do so, merely stating there was a shower upstairs.

So you’re still not entirely sure why your body moves again without your permission to do just that, and follow.

Why is she messing with your head like this? Was it intentional? Did she get some sort of pleasure or accomplishment from it, surely you’d be pushed back outside tomorrow anyway.

So why even bother?

You had no answers to any of these questions that filtered through your mind, and you didn’t dwell too long on one or the next. You simply allowed them all to bleed from your head and be replaced with new ones incrementally.

She led you through the, admittedly quite large, space of her living room and into the open floor plan leading to a dining and kitchen area.

In the interim between the crushing, static numbness blanketing your mind and the brief moments of lucid clarity peeking through like a flashlight in the fog, you contemplated turning back around. Just leaving and finishing what you had previously begun.

“My love! I’m home.” Natasha called out toward the kitchen space.

Sparing a half glance in the same general direction, you barely caught sight of slender features and long red hair before your exhausted eyes promptly lowered themselves back to the floor. The tile becoming increasingly more interesting than anything going on around you.

You still didn’t know why you were even here.

“Good evening, malysh! How was your day, and who’s this sweetheart?” The second woman asked.

You did not look up at her. The kind words and bright tones doing nothing to penetrate the filter of your focus.

You were wary of the manner in which this new woman offered up kindness so easily and without any question. Calling you ‘sweetheart’ as if you weren’t completely filthy right now. Cold, shivering, soaking wet. ‘Sweetheart’ was not what you were.

A drowned rat you had more likeness to.

Filthy. Disgusting. Who would ever want you?

“A friend, just bringing them to a warm shower.” Natasha told her.

Friend.

The word had every nerve within you internally recoiling.

You were not her friend. Friends were something you didn’t keep. You didn’t deserve them, getting close was weakness.

‘Careful letting people in, little girl. You never know when they’ll turn on you.’

The voice sounded like your father. Ingraining in you the fear of your own entrapment. No one could get too comfortable, they were better off without you. You didn’t want them to see the real you. No one would ever stay around for that.

‘I have to tell everyone about you, you know? I’m ashamed.’

That was your mother. You were not a likable person. You weren’t worth the trouble it would take to really know you. No one ever stayed that long anyway, these strangers were no different.

So no, friend is not what you were. Not something you needed, nor deserved.

“Of course, right up there sweetheart, Nat will show you where everything is, I’ll brew some more tea.” Her smile was warm, too kind.

——————

Hot. The ceramic under your fingers was hot, burning into your palms. Almost too hot, but it was grounding, the pain anchoring your mind to your body and keeping you from thinking of anything else.

You deserve this.

You haven’t taken one drink of it. The steam wafts up and into your nose, it smells heavenly, but too good for you.

“Try some sweetheart, don’t want it getting cold, and you could use the warmth, hm?” The other woman, Wanda, you had heard Natasha call her through the walls in their house, stated to you.

The upward lilt of the last sound leaving her made your heart stutter. The encouraging tone kickstarting your thoughts into a spiral.

It did smell nice, you didn’t meet her eyes, hadn’t since you’d been brought in here. But you did finally lift the mug to your lips and take a slow, dragging sip of the drink.

It burned your throat on the way down, and boiled the warmth into your stomach, settling deep in your bones.

Your eyes closed. Your muscles were still tensed and tightly coiled in your underlying anxiety.

But your eyes were closed in a relaxed stupor. The skill behind Wanda’s tea making had not been oversold. You think maybe, unfairly and deeply undersold, even considering Natasha’s consistent praise of it.

Chamomile and something else, you didn’t know what, but it was sweet. Not overwhelmingly so, just there.

Had your eyes been open, you’d have seen twin smiles adorning their faces in front of you where they sat. You stayed in that same position, eyes closed in content, where you sat in the armchair in front of them, relying on muscle memory to continue bringing the teacup to your lips repeatedly in small, savoring sips.

They had turned on some old sitcom rerun. You didn’t know what show it was, didn’t actually care to ask or clarify any of its plot points. The laugh tracks and monotonous dialogue and deadpan humor making for a very pleasant white noise machine.

When the cup was empty you stayed staring down at it, not having neither the energy nor the care to lift your eyes toward the screen.

Without really realizing it your back had leaned into the cushioning of the deceptively soft chair, your head lolling lazily to the side as your eyes remained closed, your body limp and warm.

You didn’t notice the mug being gently pried from your fingers, or the careful hands lifting your legs onto an ottoman, or the fluffy blanket being placed cozily over your body.

Summary: Everyone deals with the fallout from the meeting with Steve. Reader lets her guard down with WandaNat.

Warnings: Anxiety attack, brief description of self-harm, lots of feelings, cuddling, and fluff!

A/N: Happy Halloween my loves! I've officially resumed this story along with several others!

– pairing | natasha x reader

– synopsis | you never thought the anniversary would get easier. it doesn’t. but natasha makes sure you don’t carry it by yourself.

– warnings | past loss, grief, mentions of self-inflicted death (non-graphic).

– word count | 841

— this was based on my best friend that passed away a few years ago. remember that you are not alone. there is help available. talk to professionals, your friends, family, anyone — just please don't give up. there will be people that will miss you more thank you know.

╰┈➤ synopsis: one day whether you are, 14, 28, or 65, you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die. however, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find is they are not always with whom we spend our lives.

╰┈➤ welcome and short message: main m.list hello, my sweet gravels! i am thrilled to welcome you to "whispers of heartache," a collection of angst-filled one shots centered around the compelling characters of natasha romanoff / scarlett johansson, wanda maximoff / elizabeth olsen, and a female reader. this book is a labor of love, crafted from my deep admiration for these characters and my passion for storytelling. in this book, you will find a series of emotionally charged stories that delve into the complexities of love, loss, and heartache. each one shot will be written in the third person point of view, offering a broad perspective on the intense and often tumultuous emotions experienced by the characters. i must share that english is not my first language. therefore, you may encounter some grammatical errors or awkward phrasing throughout the stories. i appreciate your understanding and patience as i strive to improve my writing skills. my goal is to convey the depth of emotions and the intricate dynamics between the characters, even if my language skills are still a work in progress. angst has a unique power to connect with readers on a deep, emotional level. it explores the raw, often painful aspects of human relationships and personal struggles. through these stories, i hope to capture the essence of what it means to love and to lose, to fight and to surrender. each tale is crafted to evoke empathy and reflection, inviting you to experience the characters' journeys as if they were your own. your reblogs and feedback is incredibly valuable to me. as i embark on this storytelling journey, i welcome your thoughts, suggestions, and constructive criticism. please feel free to leave comments and reviews. your input will not only help me grow as a writer but also ensure that the stories resonate with you, the readers. thank you for joining me in this exploration of the whispers of heartache. i hope that these one shots will touch your heart and leave a lasting impression. happy reading! warm regards, G.J ps: i will be adding the first few angst that i already wrote in this masterlist even though it's technically not part of this masterlist. but, it's angst, so...

╰┈➤ tolerate it

while you were out building other worlds, where was i? you assume i'm fine, but what would you do if i break free and leave us in ruins? ── .✦ pairing: elizabeth olsen x gf!reader

╰┈➤ new year's day

i want your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year's day. please, don't ever become a stranger whose laugh i could recognize anywhere. ── .✦ pairing: sister's bsf!elizabeth x fem!reader

╰┈➤ midnight rain

she was sunshine, i was midnight rain. she wanted a bride, i was making my own name, chasing that fame. ── .✦ pairing: actress!elizabeth x fem!reader

╰┈➤ you're losing me

how can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? do i throw out everything we built or keep it? and you know what they all say, you don't know what you got until it's gone. ── .✦ pairing: wanda maximoff x fem!reader

╰┈➤ in the next lifetime

but in those photos, i saw us instead and, somehow, i know that you and i would've found each other in another life. you still would've turned my head even if we'd met. you're always gonna be mine, we're gonna be timeless. ── .✦ pairing: general's son!steve x general's daughter!reader, maid!natasha x general's daughter!reader, scarlett johansson x fem!reader

╰┈➤ the manuscript

the only thing that's left is the manuscript. one last souvenir from my trip to your shores. now and then i reread the manuscript but the story isn't mine anymore. ── .✦ pairing: wanda maximoff x fem!reader

╰┈➤ the smallest woman who ever lived

and i don't miss what we had, but could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived? ── .✦ pairing: avenger!natasha x ex hydra!reader

╰┈➤ favorite crime

i hope i was your favorite crime, 'cause baby, you were mine. ── .✦ pairing: bsf!wanda x fem!reader

╰┈➤ mean it

on your lips just leave it, if you don't mean it. ── .✦ pairing: scarlett johansson x gf!reader

╰┈➤ love me nicely

i know you love me, but could you love me nicely? ── .✦ pairing: toxic!elizabeth x gf!reader

╰┈➤ if the world was ending

i know, you know, we know, you weren't down for forever and it's fine. i know, you know, we know, we weren't meant for each other and it's fine. but if the world was ending you'd come over, right? ── .✦ pairing: avenger!wanda x fem!reader

╰┈➤ soulmate

what a shame, didn't want to be the one that got away. taking down the pictures and the plans we made. big mistake, you broke the sweetest promise that you never should have made. ── .✦ pairing: fiance!elizabeth x fem!reader

╰┈➤ greatest what if

someday when you leave me, i bet these memories follow you around. ── .✦ pairing: actress!elizabeth x fem!reader

╰┈➤ heart

i knew it from the first old fashioned, we were cursed. should've known i'd be the first to leave think about the place where you first met me. ── .✦ pairing: elizabeth olsen x crush!reader

╰┈➤ too late

words— how little they mean when you're a little too late. ── .✦ pairing: avenger!natasha x avenger!steve, husband!bucky x avenger!reader

╰┈➤ i miss you

now, i fear i have fallen from grace and i feel like my castle's crumbling down. ── .✦ pairing: actress!scarlett x actress!rea

╰┈➤ last memory

if i didn't know better, i'd think you were talking to me now. if i didn't know better, i'd think you were still around. what died didn't stay dead, you're alive, so alive, in my head. ── .✦ pairing: agent!elizabeth x agent!reader

╰┈➤ thank you

why'd you have to lead me on? why'd you have to twist the knife? walk away and leave me bleedin'. ── .✦ pairing: scarlett johansson x fem!reader

╰┈➤ we both had our chance

i persist and resist the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? ── .✦ pairing: avenger!natasha x avenger!reader

╰┈➤ i hate you

come on, come on, don't leave me like this, i thought i had you figured out, something's gone terribly wrong, you're all i wanted. come on, come on, don't leave me like this, i thought i had you figured out, can't breathe whenever you're gone, can't turn back now, i'm haunted. ── .✦ pairing: shitty!scarlett x annoying!reader

╰┈➤ on bended knee

can we go back to the days our love was strong? can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong? can somebody tell me how to get things back the way they use to be? oh god give me a reason, i'm down on bended knee. ── .✦ pairing: actress!elizabeth x actress!reader

╰┈➤ the cut that always bleeds

oh, i could be anything you need, as long as you don't leave. the cut that always bleeds. ── .✦ pairing: scarlett x gf!reader

╰┈➤ backburner

i'll always be in your corner, 'cause i don't feel alive 'til i'm burnin' on your backburner. ── .✦ pairing: agent!natasha x agent!reader

╰┈➤ the great war

we can plant a memory garden, say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair. there's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair and we will never go back. ── .✦ pairing: actress!elizabeth x gf!reader

╰┈➤ enough for you

and maybe i'm just not as interesting as the girls you had before but god, you couldn't have cared less about someone who loved you more. 'cause all i ever wanted was to be enough for you. ── .✦ pairing: agent!natasha x insecure!reader

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ to be written:

╰┈➤ 1 step forward, 3 steps back

do you love me, want me, hate me? boy, i don't understand. no, i don't understand.

╰┈➤ better woman

i know the bravest thing i ever did was run.

╰┈➤ strange

isn't it strange how people can change. from strangers to friends, friends into lovers, and strangers again?

╰┈➤ lose you to love me

we'd always go into it blindly, i needed to lose you to find me. this dancing was killing me softly, i needed to hate you to love me.

╰┈➤ almost is never enough

almost is never enough, so close to being in love. if i would have known that you wanted me, the way i wanted you then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart, but right here in each other's arms.

╰┈➤ wish you were sober

kiss me in the seat of your rover, real sweet, but i wish you were sober.

╰┈➤ same ground

because i have learned that love is beyond what human can imagine, the more it clears, the more i have to let you go.

╰┈➤ the way i loved you

but i miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain and it's 2 a.m. and i'm cursing your name. so in love that you act insane and that's the way i loved you.

╰┈➤ champagne problems

your mom's ring in your pocket, her picture in your wallet, you won't remember all my champagne problems.

╰┈➤ last kiss

you told me you loved me, so why did you go away?

╰┈➤ maroon

the burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was. the mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones, the lips i used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon.

╰┈➤ loml

you said i'm the love of your life about a million times.

╰┈➤ consequences

loving you was sunshine, safe and sound, a steady place to let down my defenses but loving you had consequences.

╰┈➤ casual

i thought you thought of me better, someone you couldn't lose.

╰┈➤ illicit affairs

they show their truth one single time but they lie, and they lie, and they lie a million little times.

╰┈➤ forever and always

oh back up, baby, back up, did you forget everything? back up, baby, back up, did you forget everything?

and i don't miss what we had, but could someone give a message to the smallest woman who ever lived? i do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other sites. plagiarism is a crime!! masterlist || whispers of heartache m.list

The night was dark, and the moon hung low in the sky, casting an eerie glow over the cityscape. Shadows danced across the abandoned warehouse where she had taken refuge, a place forgotten by time and society. The woman sat in a corner, her breath coming in ragged gasps, her body trembling from exhaustion and fear. Her name was Y/N, but she hadn't been called that in years. To HYDRA, she was known only as Subject 47.

For years, Y/N had been their pawn, subjected to torturous experiments designed to unlock her latent powers. She had been forced to use those powers in ways she could never have imagined, becoming a weapon in HYDRA's arsenal. But she had endured, biding her time, waiting for the moment when she could break free. That moment had come, and now she was on the run, trying to stay one step ahead of the organization that had taken everything from her.

The memories of her escape were still fresh in her mind: the alarms blaring, the shouts of the guards, the searing pain of the injuries she had sustained. But she had made it out, and that was all that mattered. She had to keep moving, had to stay hidden. She couldn't afford to be found, not now.

As she sat in the darkness, her thoughts drifted back to the years of torment she had endured. She remembered the faces of the scientists who had experimented on her, the cold, clinical way they had treated her, as if she were nothing more than a specimen. She remembered the pain, the isolation, the despair. But most of all, she remembered the moments when she had been forced to use her powers to harm others, to carry out HYDRA's will. Those memories haunted her, gnawing at her conscience.

She knew she couldn't go back to being the person she once was. That person was gone, replaced by someone who had been forged in fire and darkness. But she also knew she couldn't let HYDRA win. She had to survive, no matter the cost.

Y/N's powers were formidable. She had the ability to manipulate energy, to create devastating blasts of force that could level buildings. She could also control minds, bending others to her will. These abilities had made her a valuable asset to HYDRA, but they were also a constant reminder of the monster she had become.

She had tried to lay low, to stay out of sight. But it was difficult. Her powers were unpredictable, and sometimes they manifested in ways she couldn't control. And then there was the constant need for resources. Food, money, shelter— these were things she couldn't simply conjure out of thin air. She had turned to a life of crime, using her powers to rob, to steal, to survive. It was a dark path, but it was the only one she knew.

One night, as she was preparing to leave the warehouse and find another place to hide, she heard a noise. Her heart raced as she turned, her powers at the ready. A figure emerged from the shadows, a woman with a determined look in her eyes.

"Who are you?" she demanded, her voice cold and wary. "How did you find me?"

The woman raised her hands in a gesture of peace. "My name is Natasha," she said calmly. "I'm not here to hurt you. I just want to talk."

"Talk?" Y/N scoffed. "I don't have time for talking. If you're HYDRA, you won't leave here alive."

"I'm not HYDRA," Natasha assured her. "I know what they did to you. I know what you're capable of. I'm here to help."

Y/N narrowed her eyes, her suspicion evident. "Why should I trust you?"

"Because I've been where you are," Natasha replied, her voice softening. "I know what it's like to be used, to be turned into something you're not. But you don't have to keep living this way. There are people who can help you, who can help you control your powers, who can give you a chance at a new life."

Y/N's resolve wavered. She wanted to believe her, but trust was a luxury she couldn't afford. "How do I know you're not lying?"

Natasha took a step closer, her eyes filled with sincerity. "You don't. But you have a choice. You can keep running, keep hiding, keep doing things you hate. Or you can take a chance, and maybe— just maybe— find a way out of this darkness."

Y/N stared at Natasha, her mind racing. She had spent so long fighting, so long surviving. The idea of something better, something different, was almost too much to hope for. But as she looked into Natasha's eyes, she saw something she hadn't seen in a long time: hope.

"Alright," she said finally, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'll listen. But if this is a trap, if you're lying to me…"

"I'm not," Natasha interrupted gently. "I promise you, you're not alone anymore."

And for the first time in years, Y/N allowed herself to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was a way out of the darkness after all.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Over the next few weeks, Y/N and Natasha grew closer. The walls Y/N had built around herself slowly began to crumble as Natasha showed her a different way to live, a way that didn't involve fear and isolation. They spent their days training, honing Y/N's powers with precision and control, and their evenings talking, sharing stories of their pasts.

One evening, they sat on the rooftop of an old building, the city lights twinkling below them. The air was cool, and a gentle breeze rustled their hair. Y/N sat on the edge of the rooftop, her legs dangling over the side as she stared out at the city lights. The memory she was about to share was one she had buried deep within herself, a wound that had never fully healed. But Natasha's presence, her understanding, gave Y/N the courage to finally let it out.

"It was one of the worst days," Y/N began, her voice barely above a whisper. Natasha's eyes gazed into her softly, curious about what she was about to share. "I had been with HYDRA for a few years by then. They had already started experimenting on me, trying to unlock my powers. I was in so much pain, all the time. But this day… this day was different."

Natasha sat beside her, listening intently, her eyes filled with empathy.

"They had me in this lab," Y/N continued, her gaze distant as she relived the memory. "It was cold, sterile. The walls were lined with equipment, and there were a dozen scientists there, all watching me like I was some kind of animal. They strapped me to a table, injected me with something. It burned, like fire coursing through my veins. I screamed, but they didn't care. They just watched, taking notes."

Y/N paused, her hands trembling as she clenched them into fists. Natasha reached out, gently placing a hand on her arm, grounding her.

"I could feel my powers surging," she said, her voice shaking. "It was like they had torn down a dam inside me, and the energy was flooding out. I couldn't control it. I couldn't stop it. They had these targets set up, and they told me to destroy them. I didn't want to, but the pain… it was unbearable. So I did. I blasted them apart, one after another."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes, but she forced herself to continue. "Then they brought in… people. Prisoners, they said. Enemies of HYDRA. They wanted me to use my powers on them. I refused. I begged them to stop, but they just laughed. One of the scientists, Dr. Zola, he was the worst. He looked at me with such contempt. He told me that if I didn't do as they asked, they would make the pain even worse."

Natasha's grip on Y/N's arm tightened, a silent offer of support.

"So I did it," Y/N whispered, the tears now streaming down her face. "I used my powers on those people. I saw the fear in their eyes, heard their screams. I tried to hold back, to minimize the damage, but it was no use. I could see what I was doing to them, the horror and pain I was causing. And all the while, Dr. Zola was there, taking notes, completely detached from the suffering."

Y/N's voice broke, and she covered her face with her hands, sobbing. Natasha pulled her into a hug, holding her tightly as she cried.

"It wasn't your fault," Natasha murmured softly. "They forced you. You were a victim, Y/N, just like those people."

Y/N shook her head, the guilt and shame overwhelming her. "I still see their faces, Natasha. Every night, the same nightmare. I can never forget what I did."

"You were put in an impossible situation," Natasha said firmly, pulling back to look Y/N in the eyes. "HYDRA did that to you, not the real you. The real you is the person sitting here with me, the person who has the strength to fight back, to survive. You are not defined by what they made you do."

Y/N nodded, though the pain was still raw. "I want to believe that. I really do. But it's hard."

"I know it is," Natasha replied, her voice gentle. "But you're not alone anymore. We'll get through this together. We'll find a way to make things right, to move forward."

Y/N took a deep breath, the weight of her past still heavy on her shoulders, but there was a glimmer of hope in her heart. With Natasha by her side, she felt a strength she hadn't known in years.

"Thank you, Natasha," she said quietly. "For listening. For being here."

"Always," Natasha replied, a small, reassuring smile on her lips. "We'll face this together, Y/N. One step at a time."

And as the night stretched on, they sat together on the rooftop, two kindred spirits bound by their pasts but looking forward to a future they could shape with their own hands.

"You know," Y/N said, her eyes fixed on the horizon, "I've never told anyone that before. Not even the other subjects."

Natasha nodded, her expression thoughtful. "It takes a lot of courage to share something like that. I'm honored you trust me."

Y/N glanced at her, a small smile playing on her lips. "You've given me a reason to trust again. I never thought I'd feel that way after everything that's happened."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, the weight of their shared experiences hanging in the air. But a nagging thought had been bothering Y/N for days, and she knew she had to address it.

"Natasha," she began hesitantly, "there's something I need to ask you."

Natasha turned to her, her expression open and encouraging. "Anything, Y/N. What is it?"

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. "How did you find me? I mean, really find me. I've been running for so long, staying off the grid. It doesn't make sense."

Natasha's face grew serious, and she looked down at her hands for a moment before meeting Y/N's gaze. "I understand why you're curious. The truth is, I was able to find you because of my past. You see, I wasn't always… on the side of the angels."

Y/N's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Natasha sighed, her eyes distant as she delved into her memories. "I was trained by a group called the Red Room. It's an organization that turns young girls into assassins, into weapons. They took me when I was just a child and molded me into what they wanted. I was one of their best."

Y/N listened intently, her heart aching at the pain in Natasha's voice. "That sounds… horrible. I'm so sorry, Natasha."

Natasha shook her head. "It's in the past. But the skills they taught me, the connections I made— they're how I was able to track you down. I recognized the signs of someone trying to hide, because I've been there myself."

Y/N's eyes widened in realization. "So you used your training to find me?"

Natasha nodded. "Yes. But not to hurt you. To help you. I saw a kindred spirit in you, someone who had been used and discarded. I wanted to give you a chance to break free, to find your own path."

Y/N's emotions swirled within her. "Thank you, Natasha. I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," Natasha replied, her voice gentle. "Just know that we can face our pasts together and create a better future."

As the weeks turned into months, their bond grew stronger. They trained together, pushing each other to their limits, and spent their downtime sharing stories and dreams. Y/N found herself opening up more and more, revealing details about her life before HYDRA, her hopes and fears. Natasha, in turn, shared her own experiences, the pain and triumphs that had shaped her into who she was.

One evening, after a particularly grueling training session, they sat on the rooftop again, watching the sunset. Y/N turned to Natasha, her heart full of gratitude and something she hadn't felt in a long time.

"Natasha," she said softly, "thank you for everything. You've given me a reason to believe in myself again."

Natasha smiled, a warmth in her eyes that made Y/N's heart swell. "You've always had that strength, Y/N. You just needed someone to remind you of it."

And in that moment, surrounded by the fading light of the day, Y/N knew that she had found not just a friend, but a kindred spirit. Someone who understood her pain, her struggles, and her dreams. Together, they would face whatever challenges lay ahead, and for the first time in years, Y/N felt truly free.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Months and months passed, and Y/N and Natasha became inseparable. Natasha taught Y/N everything from combat techniques to espionage tactics, sharing stories of her own childhood in the Red Room and even recounting funny anecdotes that brought laughter back into Y/N's life. The once distant and cautious Y/N now felt a warmth she hadn't experienced in years.

Y/N sat on the edge of her bed one night, staring at the ceiling, her mind filled with thoughts of Natasha. Every day, she found herself falling deeper in love with the woman who had not only saved her but also given her a reason to live again. Natasha's strength, compassion, and unwavering support had become a beacon in Y/N's life, guiding her through the darkness.

But with those feelings came fear. Y/N was terrified that if she confessed her love, it might push Natasha away. Despite Natasha being a trained assassin with an uncanny ability to read people, Y/N had managed to keep her feelings hidden. She didn't want to risk losing the one person who meant everything to her.

One afternoon, they were training in an abandoned gym they had discovered. The space was perfect for their needs— isolated, spacious, and filled with old equipment that they could use for their rigorous routines. As they sparred, Y/N couldn't help but marvel at Natasha's agility and skill. Even after months of training, Natasha still amazed her with her prowess.

"You're getting better every day," Natasha said, wiping sweat from her brow as they took a break. "I'm proud of you, Y/N."

Y/N smiled, her heart swelling with warmth. "I have a great teacher."

Natasha chuckled, but there was a hint of seriousness in her eyes. "It's not just about the training. It's about finding yourself, trusting yourself. And you're doing that."

Y/N nodded, feeling a rush of gratitude. "Thank you, Natasha. For everything."

Natasha's expression softened. "You don't have to thank me. We're in this together."

As they sat on the gym floor, catching their breath, Natasha began to share another story from her past, this time about a mission that had gone hilariously wrong. Y/N laughed, feeling the tension in her chest ease as the sound of Natasha's laughter filled the room.

"You should have seen the look on his face when the cat jumped out of the box instead of the intel we were expecting." Natasha said, grinning. Avoiding to mention any name.

Y/N shook her head, still laughing. "I wish I could have been there."

Natasha's smile faded slightly, replaced by a thoughtful look. "You know, Y/N, I don't think I've ever felt this close to anyone before. It's… different."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat, and she looked down, trying to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks. "Yeah, it's different for me too."

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of unspoken feelings hanging in the air. Y/N wanted so desperately to tell Natasha how she felt, but the fear held her back.

One evening, they decided to take a break from training and relax on the rooftop of their safe house. The night was clear, and the stars were scattered across the sky like diamonds. They lay on their backs, side by side, staring up at the cosmos.

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have a normal life?" Y/N asked softly.

Natasha sighed. "Sometimes. But I think we make our own normal, don't you? Whatever that looks like."

Y/N turned her head to look at Natasha, her heart aching with unspoken words. "I think you're right."

Natasha met her gaze, her eyes searching Y/N's. "Y/N, is there something you want to tell me?"

Y/N's breath caught in her throat. The moment had come, and she felt both terrified and exhilarated. "I… Natasha, I—"

Before she could finish, a loud noise from the street below startled them both. They sat up quickly, their training kicking in as they scanned the area for potential threats. After a few tense moments, they realized it was just a group of teenagers making noise.

Natasha sighed in relief, then looked at Y/N with a small smile. "I guess we'll have to save the deep conversations for another time."

Y/N nodded, her heart still pounding. "Yeah, another time."

As they settled back down, Y/N felt a mix of disappointment and relief. The moment had passed, but the feelings remained. She knew she couldn't keep them hidden forever, but for now, she was content to cherish the bond they had, hoping that one day she would find the courage to tell Natasha how deeply she cared for her.

The night had settled into a comfortable stillness, the kind that Y/N had come to appreciate in her new life with Natasha. They had spent the evening on the rooftop, their bond growing even stronger with every shared story and laugh. But the moment of potential confession had been interrupted, leaving Y/N with a mix of emotions that she couldn't quite sort through.

"Hey, I'm going to run to the store to grab a few things," Natasha said suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence. "Do you need anything?"

Y/N shook her head, offering a warm smile. "No, I'm good. Just hurry back."

Natasha grinned. "Won't be long."

As the door closed behind Natasha, Y/N found herself alone in the quiet apartment. She tried to shake off the lingering thoughts of her unspoken feelings, instead focusing on the simple task of tidying up their training equipment, replaying the evening's conversation in her mind, wondering how she might finally confess her feelings to Natasha. She was just about to sit down and relax when she heard the door creak open again.

"Natasha, that was quick." she began, turning around with a smile. But her words died on her lips as she took in the sight before her.

Instead of Natasha, a group of several figures stood in the doorway, none of whom were Natasha. Y/N's heart began to race.

Steve Rogers, Captain America, stepped forward. His expression was firm but not unkind. "Y/N, we need you to come with us."

Y/N's heart raced, confusion and fear flooding her mind. "How did you find me? Who are you?"

Clint Barton, Hawkeye, responded calmly, "We're the Avengers. We need you to come peacefully. We don't want to hurt you."

But Y/N shook her head, taking a step back. "I'm not going anywhere with you."

Tony Stark, Iron Man, sighed. "We were hoping it wouldn't come to this."

"Y/N, please," Captain America urged, taking a step forward. "We don't want to fight you."

Without further warning, Y/N felt a surge of adrenaline. She couldn't let them take her. She had fought too hard, endured too much, to be captured now. Her powers, usually kept in check, surged uncontrollably as her fear and anger took over.

The energy crackling around her as she prepared for a confrontation. "I'm not leaving without a fight."

The battle began with a blur of movement. Y/N unleashed a blast of energy that sent Captain America flying backward, his shield barely absorbing the impact. Iron Man's repulsors fired in response, but Y/N dodged with agility, her movements a blur. Thor swung Mjolnir, but Y/N countered with a force field that deflected the mighty hammer.

Iron Man flew into the air, attempting to get a better angle for his attack. "She's fast. We need to contain her!"

Y/N responded by sending a wave of energy that disrupted Iron Man's flight, causing him to crash into a wall. He recovered quickly, his suit's systems recalibrating, but the momentary distraction gave Y/N the upper hand.

Captain America threw his shield, aiming for Y/N's legs to incapacitate her, but she leaped into the air, avoiding the strike and landing a powerful kick to his chest. He stumbled back but quickly regained his footing, his determination unwavering.

Thor charged at Y/N, lightning crackling around him. He swung Mjolnir with all his might, but Y/N created a barrier that absorbed the impact. She pushed back with a surge of energy, sending Thor skidding across the floor.

Clint shot an arrow aimed at disarming Y/N, but she deflected it with a wave of energy. Steve charged forward, his shield raised, but Y/N countered with a blast of force that once again, sent him skidding backward.

Tony, in his Iron Man suit, launched a series of repulsor blasts. Y/N dodged them with agility honed from months of training with Natasha. She retaliated with a powerful blast that knocked Tony off balance, sending him crashing into a wall.

Thor entered the fray, his hammer Mjolnir crackling with electricity. "Stay your hand, mortal! We mean you no harm!"

But Y/N was beyond reasoning. She unleashed a torrent of energy, attempting to fend off the god of thunder. The two clashed in a dazzling display of power, the air around them crackling with raw force.

As the battle raged on, Y/N's control over her powers slipped. She sent waves of destructive energy in all directions, causing the building to shake and debris to fall. The Avengers fought to contain her without causing her harm, but Y/N's desperation made her unpredictable.

In the midst of the chaos, Y/N caught sight of Natasha standing at the edge of the room, a look of pained determination on her face. Y/N's heart ached with a mix of relief and confusion. She was about to call out to Natasha, to tell her to run, when she saw Natasha raise her wrist, the Widow Bites charging with electricity.

"Natasha, no—" Y/N's words were cut off as the electric shock hit her. Pain surged through her body, and she collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath. She fell to her knees, her vision blurring as she tried to process the betrayal.

Confusion, hurt, and betrayal were etched across Y/N's face as she looked up at Natasha. "Why?" she whispered, her voice barely audible over the sounds of the battle.

Natasha's eyes met Y/N's, a silent apology evident in their depths. "Y/N, please. Just listen—"

Before Natasha could finish, Tony approached Y/N cautiously, his helmet retracting to reveal his concerned face. "I'm sorry about this." he said softly, before administering a knockout shot that sent Y/N into unconsciousness.

The last thing Y/N saw was Natasha's face, torn between duty and the bond they had shared. As darkness enveloped her, Y/N's mind swirled with unanswered questions and a profound sense of betrayal.

When Y/N woke up, she found herself in a sterile, secure room, her hands restrained. The cold metal of the restraints bit into her skin, a harsh reminder of her new reality. The stark whiteness of the walls and the faint hum of machinery around her brought back a flood of memories she had desperately tried to bury. Her hands were restrained, the cold metal digging into her wrists, making escape impossible. Panic set in, and her mind raced as she tried to piece together the events that had led her here. The fight with the Avengers, Natasha's betrayal— it all felt like a nightmare she couldn't wake up from.

Memories from her time in HYDRA began to resurface, unbidden and relentless. She could almost feel the cold, damp walls of the cells they kept her in, hear the echo of her own screams as they experimented on her, pushing her to the brink of insanity. The pain had been unbearable, but the psychological torment was even worse. They had stripped her of her humanity, treating her like a lab rat, an object to be used and discarded.

She remembered the countless nights spent in isolation, the darkness her only companion. The silence was oppressive, broken only by the occasional distant scream of another unfortunate soul. Y/N had learned to dread the sound of approaching footsteps, knowing it meant another round of torture or experiments. They had tried to break her, to mold her into their perfect weapon, and for a time, they had succeeded.

She could still see the faces of the scientists, their expressions cold and detached as they inflicted unimaginable pain on her. She had begged for mercy, for death, but they had only laughed, their eyes void of any empathy. The experiments had been brutal, designed to push her powers to their limits, often leaving her on the brink of death. They had injected her with unknown substances, subjected her to electric shocks, and forced her to endure endless physical and mental trials.

Her mind drifted to the times when she had been restrained, much like she was now, unable to move or defend herself. She could feel the tightness of the straps, the helplessness that had consumed her as she lay there, vulnerable and exposed. The scientists would talk about her as if she wasn't even there, discussing their next steps in cold, clinical terms. They had stripped her of her identity, reducing her to a mere experiment number.

The fear and anger she had felt during those years were now mingling with the sense of betrayal and hurt she felt towards Natasha. The two emotions intertwined, creating a storm of confusion and pain within her. She had thought she had found a semblance of peace, a way to move forward from her past, but now it all seemed to be crashing down around her.

Y/N's mind shifted to the happier memories she had shared with Natasha, the woman who had seemed to be her savior, her light in the darkness. The way Natasha had smiled at her, the sound of her laughter, the warmth of her touch— all of it felt like a cruel joke now.

How could someone who had meant so much to her be the same person who had deceived her so completely?

She remembered the nights spent talking with Natasha, sharing their deepest fears and dreams. Natasha had made her feel safe, cherished even, something she had never experienced before. The bond they had formed had been real, or so she had thought. The betrayal cut deeper because of the trust she had placed in Natasha, a trust that had been shattered in an instant.

The memories of their time together played in her mind like a cruel montage. Training sessions where Natasha had pushed her to be better, moments of laughter and camaraderie, the quiet evenings where they had simply enjoyed each other's presence. Y/N had opened up to Natasha in ways she had never done with anyone else, revealing parts of herself she had kept hidden for so long.

But now, all those memories felt tainted. She couldn't shake the image of Natasha standing there with the Avengers, the look of determination on her face as she shot Y/N with her Widow's Bite. The physical pain had been nothing compared to the emotional agony of realizing that the one person she had trusted had been sent to betray her.

Y/N's thoughts circled back to her time in HYDRA, the endless cycle of pain and hopelessness. She had endured so much, fought so hard to survive, only to be betrayed by the one person who had given her a reason to keep fighting. The feelings of helplessness and despair were overwhelming, threatening to consume her once more.

She could feel tears welling up, but she refused to let them fall. She had cried enough during her time in HYDRA, and she had vowed never to let herself be that vulnerable again. But the pain of Natasha's betrayal was too much to bear, reopening old wounds that had never truly healed.

Y/N closed her eyes, trying to shut out the memories, but they came flooding back with even greater intensity. The faces of the scientists, the cold, clinical environment, the pain, the screams— it all felt too real, too immediate. She had spent so long trying to bury those memories, to move past them, but now they were resurfacing with a vengeance.

She thought about the other subjects in HYDRA, the ones who hadn't survived. She could still hear their cries for help, their pleas for mercy. She had been one of the few to make it out alive, but at what cost? The memories of those who had perished haunted her, a constant reminder of the horrors she had endured.

Y/N tried to focus on her breathing, to calm herself, but it was a losing battle. The memories were too strong, too overwhelming. She felt like she was back in those cells, trapped and helpless, with no way out. The room she was in now felt eerily similar, the restraints on her wrists a cruel echo of her past.

The memories of Natasha brought a new wave of pain. She had thought she could trust her, had believed in the bond they had shared. But now, it felt like all of that had been a lie. Natasha's betrayal was a knife to her heart, twisting with every recollection of their time together.

Y/N remembered the times Natasha had held her, comforting her during moments of weakness. She had felt safe in Natasha's arms, believing that she had found someone who truly cared about her. But now, that sense of safety was shattered, replaced by a void of distrust and heartbreak.

She tried to reconcile the Natasha she had come to love with the woman who had betrayed her. It was impossible. The two images clashed in her mind, creating a whirlwind of confusion and pain. She had fallen in love with Natasha, believing in the goodness she saw in her, but now she couldn't tell what had been real and what had been a façade.

The tears she had been holding back finally began to fall. The memories, the pain, the betrayal— it was all too much. She felt like she was drowning, unable to breathe, unable to escape the torment of her past and the heartbreak of the present.

Y/N's mind was a battleground, the memories of HYDRA and her time with Natasha colliding in a cacophony of emotions. She felt the weight of her past pressing down on her, the sense of hopelessness creeping back in. The fight to survive had taken everything she had, and now it felt like she had nothing left to give.

As she sat there, restrained and helpless, Y/N's thoughts drifted to the future. She didn't know what lay ahead, whether she would ever be able to trust again, whether she could find a way to heal from the betrayal. But one thing was certain— she would never forget what she had been through, and she would never forgive Natasha for what she had done.

The pain of betrayal was a wound that would take a long time to heal, if it ever did. But Y/N knew she had to keep fighting, to keep pushing forward, even if it felt impossible. She had survived HYDRA, she had endured unimaginable pain, and she would find a way to survive this too.

The memories of her time in HYDRA, the torment, the helplessness— they were a part of her, but they didn't define her. She was stronger than that, stronger than the pain and the betrayal. And as she sat there, tears streaming down her face, Y/N made a silent vow to herself. She would find a way to move past this, to find her strength again, and to never let anyone break her the way HYDRA had tried to.

With that thought, Y/N closed her eyes, trying to find some semblance of peace amidst the chaos of her mind. The road ahead was uncertain, and the pain was still raw, but she was determined to keep fighting. For herself, for her future, and for the chance to prove that she was more than the sum of her past traumas.

Her closed eyes instantly shot opened when the door of the room opened, and Natasha walked in, clad in her black widow suit. Her expression was a mix of concern and determination. "Y/N, how are you feeling?" she asked, her voice soft.

What do you think? She wanted to spat but instead, Y/N sat in silence, her gaze fixed on the floor. She couldn't bring herself to look at Natasha. The betrayal cut too deep, and the words she wanted to say were lodged in her throat.

Natasha took a step closer, her eyes pleading. "Please, Y/N, talk to me."

After a long, tense silence, Y/N finally looked up, her eyes filled with pain and anger. "Why?" she asked, her voice trembling. "How could you do this, Natasha? After everything we've been through, everything you made me believe? Was any of it true?"

Natasha's face crumpled with guilt and sorrow. "I… I didn't want it to happen like this. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Then why?" Y/N demanded, her voice rising. "Why did you lie to me? Why did you pretend to care?"

Natasha struggled to find the right words, but they seemed to elude her. "It was my mission. But that doesn't mean what we had wasn't real. It was real, it was real to me!"

Y/N scoffed, bitterness lacing her voice. "Real? You were sent by someone who wanted me dead! Now tell me, Natasha, did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?"

Natasha's eyes widened, and she shook her head vehemently. "No, Y/N. I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted to protect you."

"Protect me?" Y/N's voice was filled with incredulity. "By lying to me? By using me?"

Natasha took a deep breath, her own eyes filling with tears. "I did what I had to do. But my feelings for you were real. They still are."

Y/N's voice was a whisper now, raw with emotion. "I would have died for your sins, Natasha."

The words hung in the air, heavy and damning. Natasha was stunned, her mind racing to process the depth of Y/N's pain.

Y/N continued, her voice breaking. "I loved you, Natasha. Every day, I fell deeper in love with you. And now… now I find out it was all just a goddamn mission to you."

"No," Natasha said quickly, her own heart breaking. "It wasn't just a mission. You mean so much more to me than that."

"But it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden, was it?" Y/N's voice was filled with hurt and sarcasm. "Once the truth was out, it lost its appeal, didn't it?"

Natasha shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "No, Y/N. Please, believe me. I… I love you too."

Y/N looked away, the pain too much to bear. "I don't know what to believe anymore. How can I trust you after this? You were the one person I thought I could rely on."

Natasha took a step closer, reaching out to touch Y/N's hand, but Y/N pulled away, the betrayal still too fresh. "I'm sorry, Y/N," Natasha whispered, her voice breaking. "I'm so, so sorry."

The room was filled with the sound of their silent tears, the weight of their shared pain too heavy to bear. And in that moment, both of them knew that their lives would never be the same again.

Y/N's heart ached with the weight of her emotions, "I want you to leave, Natasha."

"Y/N, please…"

"I SAID LEAVE!"

Natasha left the room, her heart heavy with guilt and sorrow. She wanted to stay, to explain herself further, but Y/N's shout had left no room for argument. As she stepped into the corridor, the weight of her actions pressed down on her, making it hard to breathe. She leaned against the wall, closing her eyes, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside her.

The mission had seemed straightforward at first: locate the escaped HYDRA experiment and bring her in. It should have been simple. But Y/N had become so much more than a mission. She had broken through Natasha's defenses, seen her vulnerabilities, and made her feel things she hadn't thought possible. Y/N had become her person, the one exception in her life of secrecy and deception.

Natasha walked through the sterile halls of the Avengers' facility, each step feeling heavier than the last. She made her way to an empty room, seeking solitude to process everything. She couldn't shake the image of Y/N's face, the pain and betrayal in her eyes. The girl she loved, the one who had seen her at her weakest, was now lost to her.

"Natasha," a voice called softly. She turned to see Steve Rogers standing at the door. His expression was filled with concern.

"Steve, I—" Natasha began, but her voice faltered.

Steve stepped inside, closing the door behind him. "I know this isn't easy for you."

Natasha shook her head, tears threatening to spill. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was just a mission, but she became so much more."

Steve nodded, understanding in his eyes. "Sometimes, the lines blur. You can't help who you care about."

Natasha sank into a chair, burying her face in her hands. "She hates me now. I don't blame her. I lied to her, used her. How can she ever forgive me?"

Steve placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Give her time. She needs to process everything. And you need to be honest with her, even if it's painful."

Natasha looked up, her eyes filled with anguish. "But what if it's too late? What if I've lost her forever?"

Steve's expression softened. "You haven't lost her. Not yet. But you need to fight for her, Natasha. Show her that your feelings are real, that she's more than a mission to you." squeezing her shoulder softly, he added, "Who you are is not what you did."

Natasha nodded, though uncertainty still clouded her mind. She knew Steve was right, but the path ahead seemed so daunting. She had to find a way to bridge the gap she had created, to make Y/N understand that her love was genuine.

The days that followed were torturous. Natasha threw herself into training and missions, trying to distract herself from the ache in her heart. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't escape the thoughts of Y/N. Each night, she lay awake, replaying their conversations, the laughter they had shared, and the tender moments that had made her feel alive.

Natasha sat alone in her quarters, staring at the ceiling, trying to wrap her mind around everything that had happened. The sterile, cold walls seemed to close in on her, echoing her isolation and guilt. She had replayed her confrontation with Y/N countless times in her mind, each time feeling the knife of betrayal twist deeper. The mission had been clear-cut, simple even: locate and capture. But then she had met Y/N, and everything had changed.

She closed her eyes, trying to remember the first time she had seen Y/N. It had been a rainy night in a rundown part of the city. Y/N had been fighting off some low-level thugs, her powers crackling around her in a wild display of raw energy. Natasha had been struck by her ferocity, her determination, and the deep sadness that seemed to emanate from her. She had been assigned to neutralize Y/N, but instead, she found herself captivated by her.

Natasha's heart ached as she remembered their first real conversation. It had been awkward, filled with mistrust and guarded words. But over time, they had grown closer. Y/N had slowly let her guard down, allowing Natasha glimpses into her world, her pain, and her struggles. They had trained together, laughed together, and shared stories that had created a bond Natasha had never expected.

But now, all of that was shattered.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Weeks passed and Natasha still feel the weight of her poor decisions pressing down on her like a heavy, unyielding burden. The guilt gnawed at her constantly, making it hard to focus on anything else. She had tried to compartmentalize, to push the feelings aside, but they refused to be ignored.

Because now, her person— Y/N— was filled with anger and betrayal, emotions that Natasha herself had caused. Every time she saw Y/N's face, the pain was still evident, a constant reminder of the trust she had shattered. Natasha had made a series of poor decisions, each one leading them to this moment of intense suffering.

In the quiet moments, when she was alone with her thoughts, Natasha's mind would wander to a life that seemed like a distant dream— a normal life with Y/N. She imagined lazy mornings in bed, laughing over shared breakfasts, evenings spent watching the sunset, and a future filled with love and happiness. But those dreams felt like they were slipping further and further out of reach.

She often found herself in a spiral of doubt and regret. Was what she did worth it? Was there any way to redeem herself in Y/N's eyes? The questions were relentless, and the answers were elusive. Y/N had become her everything, the one person who had seen the real Natasha and still loved her. And now, that love seemed impossible to salvage.

Natasha's thoughts often turned dark, filled with self-loathing and despair. It was a losing battle in her mind. On one hand, she was a hero, an Avenger dedicated to protecting the world. On the other hand, Y/N saw her as a villain, a betrayer who had shattered their trust. The dichotomy was tearing her apart, and she didn't know how to reconcile the two.

Everywhere Natasha turned, she was haunted by the decisions that led her to this point. She recalled the moment she first saw Y/N's file, the cold detachment she felt as she read about the mission's objectives. Y/N was just another target then, another task to be completed. But then the mission parameters blurred, and Natasha found herself drawn to Y/N in ways she hadn't anticipated.

She was not even supposed to tell and share stories, let alone her past life when she was still under Red Room.

But Y/N's strength, resilience, and vulnerability captivated Natasha, breaking through her professional detachment. She remembered the first time she saw Y/N laugh— a genuine, carefree laugh that lit up her entire face. Natasha had felt something stir within her, something she hadn't felt in her entire life: hope. Hope that there was more to life than missions and deception. Hope that she could find redemption through love.

But now, that hope felt like a cruel joke. Natasha was left to grapple with the reality of her actions. She had deceived Y/N, played with her emotions, and shattered her trust. The look of betrayal on Y/N's face was seared into Natasha's memory, a constant reminder of her failure. It haunted her dreams, turning them into nightmares where Y/N's eyes bore into her with unspoken accusations.

Natasha tried to lose herself in her work, but it was no use. Every mission, every fight, felt hollow without Y/N by her side. She replayed their last conversation over and over in her mind, dissecting every word, every gesture, searching for a way she could have handled things differently. If only she had been honest from the beginning. If only she had found a way to protect Y/N without betraying her trust.

The guilt was relentless, gnawing at her insides. Natasha found herself questioning her very identity. Who was she if she could betray the one person who meant the most to her? Could she still call herself a hero? The lines between right and wrong had become so blurred, and Natasha felt like she was losing herself in the murkiness.

She sought solace in her training, pushing her body to its limits in an attempt to silence her mind. But no amount of physical exertion could quiet the storm of emotions raging within her. Each punch, each kick, was a futile attempt to fight against the guilt and regret that consumed her.

In her quieter moments, Natasha allowed herself to imagine a different reality, one where she and Y/N were living a peaceful life together. She envisioned a small, cozy home, filled with warmth and laughter. She saw herself waking up next to Y/N, their fingers intertwined, the morning light casting a gentle glow on their faces. She imagined sharing quiet moments, stolen kisses, and whispered promises. But as beautiful as these fantasies were, they were also a painful reminder of what she had lost.

Natasha's mind was a battlefield, torn between the desire to make things right and the fear that it was too late. She replayed every interaction with Y/N, every smile, every touch, trying to decipher where she went wrong. She questioned her own worthiness, wondering if she deserved forgiveness, if she deserved Y/N's love.

Her nights were the hardest. Alone in her room, Natasha would lie awake, her mind racing with thoughts of Y/N. She would reach out to the empty space beside her, imagining that Y/N was there, her presence a comforting balm to Natasha's troubled soul. But the emptiness only served to deepen her sense of loss and regret.

Natasha's heart ached with a longing she couldn't quell. She wanted to reach out to Y/N, to beg for her forgiveness, to prove that her love was real. But she was paralyzed by fear— fear of rejection, fear of causing more pain, fear of facing the truth of her actions. The vulnerability that Y/N had awakened within her was both a gift and a curse, leaving Natasha exposed and raw.

In her moments of despair, Natasha would recall Steve's words: "Who you are is not what you did." But it was hard to believe those words when the evidence of her betrayal was so clear. She had hurt Y/N. The guilt was suffocating, a constant reminder of her failure.

Natasha's mind would drift back to their time together, to the small, intimate moments that had defined their relationship. She remembered the way Y/N's eyes would light up when she talked about her dreams, the softness in her voice when she whispered Natasha's name. She remembered the warmth of Y/N's touch, the comfort of her embrace, the way she made Natasha feel like she was worth something, like she was more than just a weapon.

But now, all of that felt like a distant memory, a beautiful dream that had turned into a nightmare. Natasha was left to grapple with the reality of her actions, with the knowledge that she had destroyed the one good thing in her life. The weight of her choices was crushing, leaving her feeling hollow and lost.

In her darkest moments, Natasha would wonder if it was too late to make things right. She questioned whether Y/N could ever forgive her, whether there was any hope of salvaging their relationship. But despite the overwhelming doubt, there was a small, stubborn part of Natasha that refused to give up. She clung to the hope that, somehow, she could find a way to prove her love, to show Y/N that she was more than her mistakes.

Natasha knew that the road ahead would be long and difficult. She would have to face her own demons, confront the parts of herself she had kept hidden for so long. She would have to earn Y/N's trust, step by painful step, proving that her love was real and unwavering. It was a daunting task, but Natasha was determined to try.

As she lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, Natasha made a silent vow to herself. She would do whatever it took to make things right with Y/N. She would fight for their love, for the future she had once dreamed of. It wouldn't be easy, and it might take a lifetime, but Natasha was willing to give it her all.

With that thought, Natasha finally felt a small sense of peace. The guilt and regret were still there, but they were tempered by a newfound determination. She would prove to Y/N that their love was worth fighting for, that she was worth fighting for. And maybe, just maybe, they could find their way back to each other.

As the first light of dawn began to filter through the window, Natasha sighed and stood up, pacing the small room. She knew she had to try to explain everything to Y/N, even if it seemed impossible. She couldn't just leave things as they were. She owed Y/N the truth, even if it hurt.

Taking a deep breath, Natasha left her quarters and walked towards Y/N's room. The halls were quiet, the soft hum of the facility's systems the only sound. As she approached the door, her heart pounded in her chest. She hesitated for a moment before knocking softly and entering.

Y/N was sitting on the edge of the bed, her eyes red from crying. She looked up as Natasha entered, her expression guarded. The sight of Y/N in such pain made Natasha's heart ache even more.

"Y/N," Natasha began, her voice trembling. "I know you don't want to see me right now, but I need to explain."

Y/N's gaze was cold. "Explain what? How you lied to me? How I was just a mission to you?"

Natasha shook her head, tears welling up. "No, Y/N. You were never just a mission. Not to me. Let me tell you everything, from the beginning."

Y/N crossed her arms, clearly skeptical but willing to listen. "Go on then."

Natasha took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. "When I first found out about you, I was assigned to the mission. It was supposed to be simple— locate you and bring you in. But from the moment I saw you, I knew it wasn't going to be that straightforward. You were different. You were fighting off those thugs with such determination, and I saw something in you that I couldn't ignore."

Y/N's eyes softened slightly, but she remained silent, letting Natasha continue.

"I watched you for a while, trying to understand you," Natasha said, her voice filled with regret. "I saw the pain you were in, the loneliness. I couldn't just complete the mission and hand you over to people who would hurt you. So I made a decision. I approached you, and I tried to get to know you. And the more I got to know you, the more I realized how special you were."

Y/N's eyes filled with tears, but she still didn't speak.

Natasha took a step closer, her voice pleading. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this. My feelings for you are real, Y/N. They always have been. I love you." Natasha continued to confess her feelings, her voice raw with emotion. "Y/N, I know I hurt you. I know what I did was unforgivable. But please, believe me."

Y/N finally spoke, her voice trembling with emotion. "How can I believe you, Natasha? After all the things you did?" Y/N's eyes blazing with anger. "Is this the goal, Natasha? Breaking me? Rusting me?"

"No," Natasha answered quickly, shaking her head. "No, that's not it at all. Let me explain everything." Natasha felt a lump in her throat. "I know I've given you every reason not to trust me, but I'm begging you to believe me. I couldn't just let you die, especially not at HYDRA's hands. They're still after you."

Y/N's voice was filled with bitterness. "I just died inside. And it's because of you, Natasha. You killed me, you sleeper cell spy."

Natasha flinched at the harsh words, feeling the weight of her guilt. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I never wanted any of this to happen. If I could go back, I would change everything. I'd never do this to you and… and I'm not what I did. Believe me."

Y/N's laugh was cold and sarcastic. "You are what you did, Natasha."

The words echoed in Natasha's mind, clashing with Steve's voice reminding her that who she is isn't defined by what she did. But Y/N's words felt truer in this moment, cutting deeper than any physical wound.

"I'll forget you, Natasha, someday," Y/N said, her voice chillingly calm. "But I'll never forgive."

Natasha's heart shattered at those words. She had known that repairing their relationship would be difficult, but hearing Y/N's definitive statement felt like a death sentence to her hopes.

Y/N continued, her eyes cold and unforgiving. "You're the smallest woman who ever lived."

Natasha stood there, speechless, the weight of Y/N's words pressing down on her like a physical burden. She wanted to fight back, to prove her love and remorse, but the pain in Y/N's eyes told her that it's a bit too late.

three days in the making!! ( became four since i added a few things today, lol ) how was it? was it worth it? i think so. i love tsmwel soooo much!! been playing it over and over and over again. i mean, isn't it obvious? ( 9.361k words… ) let me know what you think and enjoy reading!

Natasha RomanoffxReader

Content warning: Hurt/Comfort, injury, mental health issues 

~~~

A scream broke through the night. 

Natasha sat bolt-right on her bed, her shoulders tense with her breath caught in her throat. She swore it had been a mere echo of an all-too-familiar nightmare. Nothing more than muscle memory. 

Until another scream tore through the hallways, followed by a large crash. 

She doesn’t hesitate in getting out of bed. 

The hallway is dark as always, save for the soft, yellow-tinted lights placed on the very edges of the walls in the Avengers Tower. She listens intently, trying to determine whether it came from any of the Avengers’ rooms. 

Nightmares were common. Screams were, too.

But no other noise followed after that crash. 

That doesn’t stop her from searching. She checks the common rooms first. The shared spaces that held a sense of companionship and comradery among them. Natasha wouldn’t go so far as to call it warmth, though. 

She was met with nothing and no one there. There were small signs of these spaces being lived in. Abandoned cups filled with liquid. A jacket thrown over the sofa. Pillows in disarray. Pairs of shoes strewn about the place, some neatly organized beside the door, others clearly kicked off at random. 

It was homely.

But these places felt oddly cold. Lonely. 

She kept searching. 

The kitchen followed, but she was met with the same sight. 

So she went on to the only logical conclusion.

The gym. 

There’s nothing to see in there at first glance. A collection of machines, dumbbells, and weights are cast in the opaqueness of the night. 

Except for the far right corner. The punchbags lit up by white LED lights.

And you at the very center of it all, crumpled down to your knees with a punchbag ripped open in front of you, spreading sand all over the lacquered hardwood floor. 

Natasha approached you from behind, calling your name softly.

But you don’t respond.

Your eyes, distant and empty, are fixed solely on the sand spilt on the ground, and how more of it trickled from the broken bag.Your breaths were coming in short and ragged. Your hands had a slight shake to them, knuckles bruised and bloodied. Your dominant hand throbbed painfully. 

There was a weight in your chest, one you couldn’t explain. It wasn’t heavy, not like other times, but it was there, constant and unresolved, gnawing at your heart and scratching your throat.

It’s been there for so long. You can’t name it. You can’t explain why it’s there. 

And what’s worse is, you can’t figure out how to get rid of it. 

You don’t hear her calling your name.

You’re too busy staring at the sand. Like you were trapped in it. As if the sand was getting in your mouth and sinking you further in it, caught in the very same thing that promised to suffocate you the more you struggled to escape it. 

You’re stuck there, like an anchor caught in drying cement. 

The sand is coarse and rough in your hand. It slides between your fingers, scattering over your lap and over the floor again. 

You broke the bag.

And that weight in your chest is still there. Not heavy, but still constant. 

A hand presses gently on your shoulder, and you flinch away from it.

“Hey,” there’s a softness in her tone that twists something in your chest. Her hand is no longer on your shoulder, and you almost miss its warmth.

You slowly look up at her. 

She’s tired. Her features are droopy in the way only sleep can. Dark bags were forming under her eyes. Her shoulders were relaxed, her posture almost slouched as she stood in front of you.

But her eyes? They don’t hold pity. Not even worry.

No, she’s watching like she understands. Like she lives in this bone-deep exhaustion. Like she herself carries this constant weight in her chest.

Maybe she can’t figure out how to get rid of it either. 

And yet here she is. She’s holding out her hand to you. 

come on, come on, don't leave me like this, i thought i had you figured out, something's gone terribly wrong, you're all i wanted. come on, come on, don't leave me like this, i thought i had you figured out, can't breathe whenever you're gone, can't turn back now, i'm haunted. i do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other sites. plagiarism is a crime! main m. list || whispers of heartache m. list

Y/N's: They say love is supposed to make you happy. Mine just hurts. I don’t know when it started—when the bickering stopped being just for fun and when her sharp words started to cut too deep. Maybe it was always this way, and I just refused to see it. But still… I can’t stop. I can’t stop loving her. I follow her like a shadow, annoy her until she rolls her eyes, laugh just to see her scowl. Everyone teases us, calls us an old married couple, and I let them—because deep inside, I wish it were true. But the truth is cruel. She doesn’t see me the way I see her. To her, I’m just noise. A useless girl. A tail she can’t shake off. And yet, I stay. Because I’d rather be hated by her every day than live a single day without her. But maybe… maybe one day, she’ll realize. Or maybe she won’t—until I’m gone.

The afternoon sun painted the school courtyard in shades of gold. Students lingered, some laughing, some rushing off to beat the traffic. In the middle of the chaos, Scarlett Johansson sat on the bench with her friends, arms crossed, glaring at the one person she swore she hated.

Y/N. Y/N had always been a thorn in Scarlett’s side—or at least, that’s what Scarlett told herself. In reality, she had grown used to the way Y/N’s presence filled every space she entered. But on that day, just like always, the teasing started.

“I really hate you,” Scarlett muttered, loud enough for her friends but not loud enough to draw attention from others, folding her arms and glaring.

Y/N leaned casually against the bench, lips curved into that teasing smile Scarlett hated more than anything—and secretly, maybe, craved. “Yeah, yeah. I love you too.” Y/N replied with a giggle, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Can you please just leave?” Scarlett groaned, though the corner of her mouth twitched as if fighting back a smile.

“Are you sure you really want me to leave?” Y/N asked, tilting her head teasingly.

“God, she’s so annoying,” Scarlett grumbled to her friends, pretending Y/N wasn’t there.

“I like her too,” Y/N said lightly, earning a round of laughter from everyone. well... everyone except Scarlett.

Lizzie nudged her with a smirk. “You guys act like an old married couple,” Lizzie said, laughing at the sight of the two of them bickering.

“Gross,” Scarlett shot back, scrunching up her nose.

Y/N pressed a hand dramatically to her chest. “Just admit it, Johansson. You like me too.” Y/N said casually, letting out a playful sigh.

“Yeah, Scarjo, admit it,” Robert teased, earning a harsh glare from Scarlett.

“And, you guys look good together,” Jeremy added, grinning.

Scarlett rolled her eyes so hard it was a miracle they didn’t get stuck. Y/N, though, laughed so freely the sound seemed to lift the air. Scarlett clenched her fists, and groaned, looking as though she was ready to throw hands, pretending not to notice how her chest tightened.

The bell rang, saving her. “Saved by the bell,” Y/N said, with that infuriating grin before walking away. Scarlett exhaled in relief, but her gaze followed Y/N longer than she would ever admit. What none of them realized—what Scarlett refused to see—was that Y/N wasn’t just teasing. She really liked Scarlett. Really, really liked her. She was like a shadow, always there, always by Scarlett’s side, even when she was called annoying. It wasn’t a normal crush, something that faded over time. This was deeper. Y/N was in love. ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Later, in class, Y/N sat by the window, scribbling in her notebook. Hailee—Y/N’s best friend—leaned over, chin propped on her hand. “So,” she whispered, “how’s it going with Miss Frowny Face?”

Y/N smirked, amused. “You seriously gonna call her that forever?”

“Forever,” Hailee replied. “So? Did she threaten to kill you yet, or are we in the silent treatment era?”

“Oh, you know. Like normal,” Y/N said flatly, shrugging her shoulders.

Hailee sighed. “Why don’t you just give up already? She’s not paying attention to you. She only sees you as annoying and pain in the ass. She doesn’t like you. She just… tolerates you. Barely.” Hailee said, resting her head on the table.

Y/N closed her notebook, staring out the window. Her voice was barely audible. “Why don’t you shut up, hmm?” Y/N replied, though she smiled faintly.

Hailee blinked, recognizing the fragile edge in her tone. After a moment, she whispered softly, “Whatever you say. But for what it’s worth, I’m always here.”

Y/N smiled faintly. “I know.”

But what she didn’t say was that she couldn’t give Scarlett up. Not when Scarlett had become the very pulse of her days.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Days passed, and the routine continued. Y/N would find Scarlett after classes, teasing her, walking beside her until they went their separate ways. Y/N’s heart beat faster every time she saw her, and even Scarlett’s eye rolls felt like some form of acknowledgment.

But one afternoon, Y/N noticed something different. The hallway was unusually quiet that afternoon. Scarlett’s face was darker, her brows drawn, her lips pressed thin.

Scarlett walked fast, her bag slung over her shoulder, face tense. Y/N jogged to catch up, heart skipping at the sight of her.

“Hey,” Y/N said softly, walking up beside her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Scarlett muttered, eyes straight ahead.

Y/N frowned. Normally Scarlett would snap back with some sarcastic comment, not this cold, clipped tone.

“You sure? Your face says otherwise.” Y/N nudged her gently.

“I said I’m fine.”

“Scarlett, you can tell me anything, you know,” Y/N said softly.

“I’m fine,” Scarlett repeated, voice sharper this time.

“Scarlett—”

Scarlett froze, spinning around. Her eyes blazed with something raw—anger, pain, exhaustion. “Jesus Christ, can’t you just shut up for once? Don’t you have anything better to do than follow me around like a lost puppy? I told you I’m fine! Why can’t you get it? I don’t need your help, and I don’t want your help!”

Y/N stepped back, startled. Her grip tightening on the strap of her bag. “I’m sorry, I… I’m just worried,” she whispered.

“I don’t need you to worry about me!” Scarlett shouted, voice cracking with anger. “God, I don’t even care if you die right now, here, in front of me! You’re just a useless girl with nothing better to do!” She jabbed her finger at Y/N.

The words sliced through Y/N like glass. She clutched her bag tighter, throat tight. Scarlett shoved past her, leaving her in the middle of the hallway, eyes stinging with tears.

Y/N stood frozen, her vision blurring as tears welled in her eyes. She bit her lip to stop a sob from escaping. She’d given Scarlett everything—her love, her time, her heart—and now it all felt meaningless.

She wiped her tears and began to walk, her steps heavy. Scarlett’s words echoed in her head like a cruel mantra. The girl who gave her life meaning had just crushed her spirit.

I gave you everything I had, Y/N thought, and still, it wasn’t enough.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Days bled into weeks. Scarlett noticed the change before she would admit it: the emptiness first in the hallways, then in her chest. No Y/N leaning against her locker. No annoying voice calling her name. No teasing remarks to balance her bitterness. The hallways felt emptier. The benches seemed quieter. She found herself looking for Y/N out of habit, but Y/N was nowhere.

She hated it.

“Any sign of her?” Scarlett asked her friends one afternoon, setting her bag down.

“Nope,” Jeremy replied casually, a mouth full of food. “Why are you always asking?”

“She’s not like this, you know,” Scarlett said, frustration bleeding into her tone. “She wouldn’t just disappear.” she muttered.

Robert smirked. “Maybe she finally fell out of love with you.”

Scarlett glared at him, but Lizzie touched her arm gently.

“Guys!” Lizzie warned, then turned to Scarlett. “Maybe she’s just sick or something. Don’t worry.”

“I’ve checked her classes. She’s always absent. No texts, no sign of her anywhere. It’s been weeks,” Scarlett said, rubbing her temples.

Robert grinned. “Ha! You miss her.”

Scarlett shot him a glare but didn’t deny it. Lizzie put a hand on her back. “Why don’t you ask her best friend instead?”

Scarlett looked up. “What?”

“Why don’t you ask Hailee? She’s her best friend. She’ll know.”

Scarlett hesitated, then stood up and walked toward Hailee. “Uh, hey… Hailee?”

Hailee froze, then turned, eyes cold. “What do you want?” she asked flatly.

Scarlett blinked at the tone but pressed on.

“I just… wanted to ask where Y/N is. I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“And?” Hailee’s jaw tightened. “Why do you care? Shouldn’t you be happy she’s gone? That she finally stopped bothering you? I thought you’d be happy now that she’s finally out of your life,” Hailee said harshly.

“I was just—”

“No. You know what? I don’t care. Don’t talk to me again.” Hailee shoved a folded piece of paper into Scarlett’s hands. “Here. I fucking hate you,” she spat before storming off.

Scarlett opened her mouth then closed it again. Scarlett stared after her, watched her storm away, then slowly unfolded the paper.

It was an address.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

A week later, Scarlett knelt on the cold ground, fingers digging into the dirt, clutching the cold earth.

“Hey,” she whispered, her voice breaking and trembling. “At first, I didn’t believe it. I didn’t want to. I thought it was just some stupid prank, but… but now I can’t deny it anymore.” Her chest caved as the tears spilled freely.

The headstone bore Y/N’s name. Scarlett traced the letters with shaking fingers.

Tears slid down her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “Please, tell me this is just a bad dream. I—I can’t… I can’t lose you.” Her words broke apart as her forehead pressed against the cold stone. “I like you too. God, I love you. I always did, but I was too stupid and scared to admit it.”

The wind blew softly around her as she trembled. Inside the paper had been the cemetery address. She’d denied it for days. But now, sitting here, it was real. Y/N was gone. She never got to tell her how she really felt.

“I shouldn’t have said those things. I didn’t mean it,” Scarlett whispered to the headstone. “You mean the world to me. I love how you constantly annoy me, how you tease me, how you’re just… there. I love how you… stayed. Always. I love when you’re with me because... I just feel you.” Her voice cracked as she laughed bitterly through tears.

Her fingers traced the carved letters of Y/N’s name. “Forgive me,” she choked. “I know nothing I say can bring you back. But I love you. I need you.”

She smiled faintly through her tears. “I love you so much, but now… now I can’t feel you.”

Scarlett stayed there, her sobs echoing in the quiet air.

The cemetery was silent except for her sobs. Scarlett clung to the grave, her heart shattering in ways she knew would never heal.

“I love you,” she whispered to the earth. “I love you... but I was too late.”

Scarlett's: They warned me that one day I’d regret it. That one day, I’d look back and wish I had said the words I swallowed, the ones that clung to my throat whenever she smiled at me. But I never listened. I told her to shut up, to leave me alone, to stop following me around like a lost puppy. I told her she was useless. I told her I didn’t care if she disappeared. And then she did. Now, I’d give anything—everything—to hear her voice again. To roll my eyes at her stupid jokes. To groan when she calls me “lover” in front of everyone. I’d give anything to feel her beside me, annoying and persistent, alive. Instead, all I have is this silence. This heavy, suffocating silence that eats me alive every day. I didn’t just lose her. I lost myself the moment I pushed her away. And the cruelest part? I finally understand what love feels like. But she’ll never know.

Natasha Romanoff/romantic x Reader, Yelena Belova/platonic x reader

Warnings: self harm relapse mentioned in partial detail, Nat being a bad gf and Yelena being and bad friend. just a lot of angst, reader focus. Very much based on my life currently.

Word count: 774 Description: She was supposed to be the success story — the one who made it out, who healed, who inspired others to keep going. But behind the practiced smile and late-night texts offering advice, she was silently falling apart. Her friends, even the closest ones like Natasha and Yelena, never noticed the pain beneath her surface. As the weight of loneliness, self-harm, and hopelessness drags her deeper, she begins to wonder if anyone will ever see past the mask — or if they’ll only understand once it’s too late.

Pairing: Avengers x Reader (not romantic)

Genre: angst

Word Count: 500+

Warnings: suicide, self-harm, depression

AN: i have been feeling down for the past months and needed to put my feelings into something, so here it is.

I want you to remember - even if it feels like no one sees you, you matter more than you know. if you ever feel like you don't, please reach out to someone you trust. or if you think someone needs help, please help them, you could be what they need.