Jacen Syndulla

Of course this was dangerous, but by the stars she needed to know he was safe. Many years ago she probably wouldn’t have done something so brash but after losing Kanan, and Ezra… Hera wanted to hold her family closer. Spend more time, because she felt as if she hadn’t spent enough time with those two. But Jacen… Despite hardly knowing him at this point he was her son. Her family. She was determined to be a better parent than her father ever was. 

It shouldn’t have been a surprise he wasn’t too thrilled. “I told you I was going to see you.” Hera was glad at this point that she had his comm information so she can stay in contact with him, but knowing his father he was bound to be reckless as well, at least to an extent. And then he scolded her, furrowing her eyebrows “Don’t talk to me like that, I’m a grown woman who can take care of herself, not to mention your mother.” She couldn’t help but scold in that matronly tone of hers, mostly just surprised at this reaction to her “You think I didn’t plan out every move I’m making? I’m not your father.” Hera had gotten the buns from base, she wasn’t going to stop at some bakery to get them and risk exposing herself. 

“I needed to be sure you were safe.” Hera’s tone softened, reaching to gently cup his cheek “I know you’re not on the resistance base but I can’t have anything happen to you.”

“that was before the resistance were branded as terrorists and the senate made it their mission to hunt everyone down for their crimes.” crimes jacen is partially responsible for. a situation he helped to orchestrate. guilt twists uncomfortably in his chest, his stomach curdling unpleasantly at the unspoken reminder. he did this to them. he did this to his mother, left her in a position where even coming out to see him puts her at risk of capture. or worse.

shaking his head, jacen pushes past that train of though. hera can’t know what he’s done. she can’t know what he’s responsible for. he doesn’t regret the side he’s chosen, but - he’s still coming to terms with where that’s lead him. and he won’t put that on her shoulders. “i never said you didn’t, but that’s not always enough! it wasn’t enough seventeen years ago, and it won’t be enough now!” jacen snaps, a little more harshly than he should. but he’s already lost his mother once due to her reckless choices. he refuses to let her die again, not if he’s capable of doing something about it.

Hera knew what she was doing was dangerous, but it had been too long since she had seen her son in person. She wasn’t completely sure why he wasn’t on the Resistance base in the first place but it was safer for him to not be anyways, it was dangerous times for them and she didn’t want him hurt. Hera had already learned that she had left him before she would ever want to, leaving him to be on his own… She wouldn’t have if she had a choice, she hoped he did too. Hera never wanted her son to experience what she had with his father.

Keeping her hood up and tight so as not to let anyone have even a glimpse of her green lekku she walked with her head down to where she was meeting him. If Kanan knew what she was doing she’d expect him to stop her but it was their son. Even if she didn’t completely know him from this present time she loved him with all her heart.

“Jacen.” Hera said softly when she saw him, moving over to sit next to him, holding some meiloorun buns that he had mentioned he liked. If nothing else it was still her favorite “I got you something.” She held out the small pastry bag.

@wrongsyndulla

given the weight of what’s happened - of what jacen’s wrought, in part - it should be pretty unlikely that he’ll be able to keep his decisions a secret from his parents for long. there’s no doubt they’ll quickly figure out he’s not part of the resistance, the rest can’t be far behind. and given they shouldn’t really be leaving the base right now anyway, he doubts he’d have the chance to explain.

so when he hears hera’s voice, as gentle and reassuring as it always had been when he was young, it comes as a complete surprise. and certainly not a good one. “what - what are you doing here?” he asks quickly, his voice low as so not to draw attention to either of them. she shouldn’t be out here. it’s not safe. if a trooper - or worse, a remaining knight were to find her, jacen’s not sure what he would do. and he can’t lose her again.

poe furrowed his eyebrows at his comment it was… real shortsighted of him to not realize that poe would worry, miss him. poe worried in the best of times and thinking his best friend was dead. jacen must have been dumber than he thought, “well, you did. you really did,” he grumbled, keeping his eyes on jacen. 

he was… upset but. kriff. it was hard to not just pretend like it was back to normal. back to…before everything. “yeah, bottom of the barrell. you could say that,” he joked some, sighing a bit, when he continued. complicated. that always meant there was something they were hiding. he wanted to pressure jacen into talking but… that could come another time. not now. “yeah? well, maybe we can talk about it later with some drinks in us, yeah?”

it’s not that jacen thought his friends hadn’t cared for him, of course. he’d never be like that. but staying, when everything around him reminded jacen of his mother, of everything he’d lost because they hadn’t done enough... he just couldn’t do it. even if that meant leaving poe behind. “i’m sorry, poe.” he says softly, and he means it. he’d been so lost in his grief, his anger... it had been hard to consider much else.

she shrugged at his comment. she doubted she was interpreting it wrong, but it wasn’t worth it to continue to argue. he would realize in time, or wouldn’t. it didn’t matter, much. “perhaps i am,” she stated simply, allowing him to move the conversation for now. she paused at his question, however. not exactly sure how to respond. it was… a complicated question. one she wasn’t sure she could answer accurately. “as well as i can, i suppose, with the situation i’ve been presented with.” 

the sense of guilt that jacen clearly felt was obvious. it practically wafted off of him. that… certainly wasn’t his intention. he didn’t… he didn’t expect jacen to follow in his footsteps. he hadn’t wanted him to. not only the danger it implied but… he had wanted him to be his own person. he knew that from when he first sensed him. he let out a breath, shaking his head, “there’s nothing wrong with that. i don’t think any less of you, jacen,” he stated plainly, a small smile on his lips, “but if you’re interested… i’d love to teach you, just… even basic skills for protection. you don’t have to become a jedi or anything. i– i’m not expecting that of you. it’s not everyone’s path.”

kanan would be fine with staying like this. perhaps with hera here as well, this was like… a dream. not something he expected to happen at least. he let out a breath, closing his eyes just… wanting to take this in in case. in case something… something happened again. he let out a chuckle at his comment, “i’m sure. it’s yours now, I want you to keep it,” he paused some, “I could show you… if you want.” 

    he’s persistent if nothing else. if kylo is after something whether it be information or anything else he deemed  important, then there wasn’t much of a chance that he would let it slip through his fingers. this information was only important because he couldn’t allow the knowledge that the first order’s most successful bounty hunter was second guessing things after a particular contract. he wasn’t about to let that happen. 

    dume actually noticing his prodding within his mind certainly came as a bit of a surprise. kylo had sensed the force around him, though it was certainly untrained and he hadn’t imagined it was anything worth looking into. he much preferred to keep others untrained around him, hence the knights not being fully trained in the ways of the force despite their own potential for it. “interesting, i didn’t expect you to actually catch on to that,” he mused. even so, kylo pulled back on the prodding, relinquishing his hold if it meant that he would be getting the information he wanted. otherwise he’d be more than content to take whatever he wanted. “there. i’m no longer prodding around in your mind. now you’re going to tell me what i want to know.”

this is precisely the position jacen did not want to find himself in. he never imagined he’d have someone poking around in his mind, with so much obvious power that jacen knows he couldn’t keep kylo from getting the information by force. he’s out of options here. “i’m smarter than i look.” he murmurs, but it’s more than that. giving away what he senses - it gives away a bit too much. gives away that he’s force sensitive. and that’s dangerous. he can feel it as kylo eases out of his mind, breathing a small sigh of relief. at least he’s being given a... choice. “this knowledge changes nothing. you know my allegiance. this doesn’t effect that, do you understand?” jacen insists. he knows he doesn’t have much of a choice in that, but it’s true. this changes nothing.

taking a deep breath, jacen considers... where he’s supposed to start. the obvious choice is with the question, he supposes. kriff only knows where that’s going to go. “my conflict isn’t because of my reason for taking the contract. i’m here for a reason. i believe the first order is the best way to bring peace to the galaxy. where people don’t... need to lose their families anymore, so long as they stick to that peace.” it’s important kylo understands that. but... there’s so much to this. “there were some... firsts here, for me. i’ve never killed anyone before.” jacen pauses, clearing his throat. “not directly. my contracts often lead to injuries or fatalities indirectly, but.. this was me. this was my hands. and i understand it was necessary!” jacen says quickly, waving his arms in the air a bit. he’s starting to feel panicked now, needing to justify himself, his dedication to supporting the first order before kylo kills him for betrayal. “it’s also - it’s the first contract you’ve given me that’s so directly involved in stopping the resistance, and i -” oh kriff, this is a bad idea. this is dangerous, but he knows if he stops now kylo will force the information from his mind and likely kill him anyway.

    normally this wouldn’t be any sort of concern for kylo, especially when it came to someone that he had hired to do a job. dume had been paid for a job, one that had been done successfully and it should have been a simple task of paying him and being done with it all. yet there was something under the surface that made him pause, made him question things that he hadn’t been before. this wasn’t just an uncertainty of whether the job had been done well or correctly, no. this was something that went far deeper than that. 

   “i’m fully aware of that, and you performed this contract perfectly well. there is no question about that.” the authorities had turned on the resistance, the first order now had more support and sooner or later they would find the base and end them all once for all. “we’ve never short-charged you anything, and we’re both aware of that. you’re more than welcome to take your payment but not until we finish this conversation. you’re hiding something. why do you feel like this?? you should be elated at a job well done. but you feel conflicted over… something.”

this isn’t something jacen wants to discuss. with anyone. it’s no one’s business - and certainly not kylo ren’s business. he doesn’t need to know about jacen’s doubts or concerns, doesn’t need to be aware of the conflict at having taken a life. at having taken such an involved step in the first order’s directive. he’s been doing their contracts for a long time, but this is... different. this contract had been very different.

    something was off. that was the first thing that hit kylo the moment that the other had entered the room. focusing in on it for a moment, reaching through the force to prod, brows furrowed in confusion behind the mask covering his features. what he had found wasn’t something expected considering that the mission had gone off without fail, the tides of the war finally turning in their favor. kylo had known this would be their time once the mission went off, knew that the first order would finally be able to crush the resistance beneath their feet now that the planet officials were backing them. 

   so what was bother the bounty hunter?? “the mission went off without a hitch, i heard. you’ve clearly earned your reward.” still, kylo didn’t like this feeling he was getting from the other. that feeling of uncertainty. “i expected you to feel accomplished, yet there’s something else. why do you feel so uncomfortable, dume??” // @wrongsyndulla

jacen needs to get out of here. immediately. it’s not kylo’s fault - it’s not anyone’s fault, really. but he needs... time. to himself. needs to settle, take a moment to reconcile what he’s done. the line he’s crossed. a line he never - planned to cross, even when he decided on his new path as a bounty hunter. this was never meant to happen.

    that was the only thing keeping him from completely coming unglued and actually doing something about this kriffing ceasefire. it wasn’t going to last long no matter what the resistance may think. or their supporters. something was going to bend and break, and kylo was going to make certain of that. “i suppose we’ll just have to see what happens.” either way, he was going to find some way to end it. for now, he would content himself with trying to track down the necessary information with the use of dume. it was the only thing he could do right now. 

    the ask is a difficult one, that much he is fully aware of. that doesn’t mean he’s going to change his mind and figure out another option. if they were going to figure out the resistance’s plans and their location, this was how they were going to do it. at the bounty hunter’s words, kylo can only give a shrug, uninterested in the higher price that would come from it all. money was not an issue for the first order, not with many of the supporters they had backing them. “of course i understand the difficulty of this ask. you’ve proven yourself effective and efficient which is why i wouldn’t offer such a contract to anyone else. credits are of no issue. name your price and i’ll make it happen so long as we receive the information.” 

while jacen might not be the smartest guy around, he’s not stupid enough to poke at someone like kylo ren to the point that he angers him. they need to be on decent terms for jacen to keep getting solid contracts like this one. before long he should have a good ship he can eventually disappear in. that’s the plan, at least. so he doesn’t dig any further into it, simply nodding his head in agreement. he’s sure kylo has some kind of plan to break the ceasefire, but.. for the time being he’s going to enjoy the forced peace it comes with. for as long as it lasts.

he was surprised to here those words. he… was glad to hear them but he… he worried they would see at selfish. leaving them or… something lke that. it didn’t change his mind but he… he was so worried of hera never forgiving him… of their unborn child. with a small smile, he pulled jacen back against him, letting out a breath. a part of him didn’t care if jacen wanted this hug or not– this was something he… had wanted so badly. grieved for never being able to have. “thank you,” he mumbled quietly, biting his lip some, sighing, “i’m glad you’re here.” 

she simply smiled knowingly, “i suppose. i won’t force you to talk about it,” she commented back, leaning back some against the stone wall they were sitting on. she didn’t… understand what he was hiding. why he was hiding it, especially. did he not even know?” that was curious. “we don’t have to discuss it. if there’s… something else on your mind?” 

“i knew it.” he exclaimed, muffled against the taller man. he had missed him so much and thought he’d lost someone else. he pulled back some to look at him letting out a breath, kriff, jacen… don’t scare me like that again. 

he let out a laugh, “you know, when you weren’t around, someone had to step up, “ he teased some, before pausing he… had so many questions. where the hell he had been for the last several years. 

“where have you been, jacen? where the kriff… why didn’t you come back?” 

there’s just surprise after surprise rolling around here at the moment. between seeing hera again, meeting his father, and now poe.. it’s a lot to try and process. and with poe it’s something else, considering jacen’s the one who made the decision to leave. “i never meant to scare you, y’know.” jacen admits quietly, avoiding poe’s eyes for a moment.

that makes sense, though, and poe found himself stepping into a role like this. if hera had survived.. if things had been different, jacen likely would’ve wound up right where poe is now. isn’t that weird to think about? “wow, they were really scraping the bottom of the barrel, huh.” he jokes, shaking his head.

    it’s not easy to hold in all of that annoyance and anger at the current situation he found himself in. still, as impulsive as he could be whenever it came to violence even kylo knew better than to lash out and do something stupid that would turn the planet against the first order. no, they would need that support in order to crush the resistance once and for all. “i don’t believe anyone on the first order is delighted about the ceasefire.” whatever the resistance was feeling about it, kylo didn’t care. he could assume they were optimistic about it, perhaps thinking there was a chance at peace. they’d be fools to think so. 

    he didn’t expect to be turned down, and the bounty hunter’s words only confirm that. even if they were in the middle of a ceasefire this was still a job with credits behind it. kylo would certain that sort of risk would be well rewarded. “i need information on their plans. what moves they’re wanting to make once this ceasefire is over. most importantly, though, i want the location of their base. so far they’ve managed to keep it hidden and i’m not going to continue letting that happen. we need that advantage.” 

as untrained as he might be, jacen can still sense.. things. feels things aren’t really going the right way. so kylo’s annoyance at just talking about the ceasefire is pretty obvious, even to him. he almost regrets bringing it up, but in a way it’s useful to know. jacen has a pretty diverse skillset so even with the ceasefire he’s received enough contracts, but he’s noticed the shift. work’s not quite as simple to come by, and it’s generally boring. “i wasn’t saying otherwise.” he points out. “i’m sure it won’t last long.”

merrin smiled softly. she had… she liked this man. he was nice, at least, had been so far. “i can sense it. there’s… conflict,” she wasn’t able to tell what, tht wasn’t how her powers were connected to people. but this was obvious. “something you don’t want to face,” she paused some, “not that we have to discuss it i just– don’t understand.” 

he recognized the flash of green hair immediately. it was– not something he expected to see again. he thought jacen was dead– and seeing him now? 

a breath escaped when his eyes met jacen’s he had… had missed him more than he realized. following his into the alley a bit desperately–

“jacen?” he questioned as if it weren’t obvious. where had he been that he was– safe. he shook his head, pulling jacen into a tight hug. “i thought you were dead you bastard.” 

jacen should’ve expected this, really. he should’ve predicted this. news of the resistance’s star pilot had reached him long ago, but he didn’t want to get drawn back in. didn’t think long enough to feel the pull from a cause he knows is failing people every day.

but poe... oh, they grew up together. how can jacen not be glad to see him?

the statement is a surprise to say the least, and jacen knows it shows on his face the moment she says it. he and merrin hardly know each other. the nightsister doesn’t even know his name, only knowing him as dume. what could possibly make her think he’s running away?