Bleck

The Barfchelor

He must have eaten something bad...

Commissioned by @inebriate5673 who struck like a hawk when I mentioned that I do emeto in my commission post. :D First time going this gross with it and it was really fun, got to use some rare inks. Thank you for your patronage! ♥

Thank you for the kind words.

If you’re messaging me to chat about regular vanilla stuff, sure.

If you’re messaging me just to ask to serve me, no.

But let me tell you why, because a lot of boys are making this mistake, and you’re all sweet and well-meaning, I think it’s just that you don’t realize what you’re doing or how you’re coming across.

How old am I?

Where do I live?

What are my thoughts on long-distance relationships?

How many subs do I own?

Am I monogamous or polyamorous?

What kind of movies/music do I like?

Who did I vote for in the last election?

What are my hobbies?

What are your thoughts on the controversial pet I own?

How many kids do I have?

You know nothing about me, except for the fact that I run a Femdom blog. But you’d message me asking to serve me?

That’s not fine.

You’ve got to talk to Dommes the same way you’d talk to a woman you meet anywhere that isn’t the internet.

I’m a human woman first, a Dominant second. In order for me to be even remotely interested in you, there has to be a human connection first.

You have no idea how many guys message me with, “hi, how are you?” And then jump into their laundry list of kinks, assuming I care about what gets strangers off.

Kink can always be negotiated. But if we can’t stand each other as human beings, there’s no fixing that.

Skipping the human part and jumping straight to kink and asking me to own you is exactly the same as the guys who catcall me on the street. They don’t care who I am as a person, either. All they see is something that appeals to them sexually.

I know that wasn’t your intention. And you asked permission before messaging me. That’s definitely a way to get on someone’s good side. It shows respect and an understanding that you’re not entitled to my time, which already puts you head and shoulders above most submissive guys on the internet. You also used proper grammar and spelling.

You’re doing a lot of things right, and you only made one mistake. But for women who receive dozens of messages a day from random strangers asking her to fulfill their kink fantasies, even one mistake can potentially ruin your chances.

It’s not fair to you, but it’s easy enough to fix. Just remember to connect on a human level first. Engage in vanilla talk. Find something you have in common. Make sure she’s even someone you’d be interested in serving.

If she’s looking for a sub and interested in you, she’ll bring up kink. If she doesn’t, she’ll still appreciate having had a human discussion with a submissive guy, and should her situation ever change, I guarantee you she’ll remember that you saw her as a person first.