Wren

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

whatever. i don’t even care. *visibly rock hard and leaking at the tip*

assembly, help! my best friend was turned into a sentient sword by a hag 🥺 we accidentally trampled her bog garden while we were having a mud fight and she cursed her right there. she can still sort of communicate with me through hazy visions she implants in my head when I'm wielding her but they're difficult to decipher. we're on sentinel duty on the curtain wall together in a few hours and I have no idea what I'm going to do. has this happened to any of you before?

so. uh. when the captain asked where she was I just kinda shrugged and said I hadn't seen her that day, and no one else had (because we were out in the woods mudfighting) so he sent me out to look for her and I just went because what else am I supposed to do? 😮‍💨 she's with me at my hip and she keeps showing me visions of white tulips so I think I have to go apologise to the bog witch and beg her to fix this. wish me luck on my quest

uuuuuuurrrghhhh the hag says she'll only restore my friend to her natural form in exchange for THREE MOONS of service tending her garden. THREE. she's assigned me the spare room in her cottage to stay in whilst working for her which just so happens to be right on the other side of the wall from all the mushrooms and mosses we trampled earlier and I think they must be cursed because they're whispering insults to me through the window. this is wretched. there's only one tiny little bed in here and it seems rude to make my friend sleep on the floor or in my sheath so I have her lain next to me... fingers crossed I don't impale myself upon her while I slumber

ASSEMBLY.... I've had some. uhm. very strange dreams these last few nights. at first I thought it was the cursed mushrooms (they're definitely cursed, I asked the hag. one of them bit me and I passed out for like 15 minutes). but I think I'm getting my friend's dreams as I do the visions when I'm awake. dreams bathed in blood where I'm in the dead center of some flurrying battle or foul dungeon or twisting labyrinth surrounded by foes. and. well. my best friend is with me, in sword form. I'm wielding her. I swing her like the reaper's very scythe, cutting through flesh and bone, plunging and thrusting into warm bodies at their weakest points, her sharp edges raining their blood all over me... and it feels good. like. really good. she's loving it and I can feel that pleasure she feels as she swings through the air and cleaves into twitching muscle echoing through me. it's... exhilarating to say the least. I think maybe I've been talking in my sleep too because the witch has been not-so-subtley inquiring about the nature of my relationship with "that sword friend" of mine. getting ready in the morning has been a hassle what with all the, ahem, cleanup. not to mention it makes it really difficult to avoid getting bitten by the cursed mushrooms when flashes of the ecstacy of battleglory from the dual embodiments of both slayer and blade come at random throughout the work day while I've got her at my hip in my sheath, but I don't want to leave her alone inside, because that would be dreadfully boring for her, right? gentle folk... what am I to do?

remember in p.e. when they'd take a bunch of insecure teenagers & be like "today we're going to play basketball" and then not teach you how to play basketball. and then put you in a group with guys who were obsessed with basketball and would get mad at you for not knowing how to play basketball. why did they do that

I Saw The Money Grow

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

Did you hear a new love language just dropped? yeah its crazy. Its called just fuckin biting them.

reblogging this but shaking my head the whole time to show i don't believe in love languages

Reblogging this while biting someone and shaking my head the whole time to rend flesh

outfit that says "you can't tell me what to do" and body language that screams "god please Mistress tell me what to do"