Freylee Johanson

“I’m not sure I do.  I mean, I can’t think of anything.  I haven’t stolen anything, or cheated, or done anything I’m embarrassed about.  I don’t have any secrets.

Except… no.  That doesn’t count.  I mean, it’s not a secret if you don’t know it, right?

We were going to die.  There were just too many of them.  I tried to keep them alive… I tried so hard!  But then I was grabbed and they were climbing all over me, biting and tearing and… and…

…and I don’t remember.  I was the only one left alive.  My friends… the demons… everyone was dead.  And… I don’t know… they say I might have… but I don’t know.

And I don’t want to.  I never want to.”

Dear Diary,

It's been a while.  I'm kind of surprised I even picked you up.  I don't know why I did.  But since I'm writing anyway...

I went to the recruitment drive the Emergency Response Unit had a few weeks ago.  Not voluntarily, of course.  Every time I see them I feel... I don't know.  Like I'm a failure?  A loser?

Worthless.  That's the word.

Don't get me wrong, they are very nice people.  They did their best to encourage me and were very kind.  Even the Director talked to me!  But I couldn't stop wondering if they heard the rumors or knew anything about me.  And if they didn't, how would their attitudes change when they did?

It's not my fault I can't use the Light anymore.  Whatever happened severed that connection pretty thoroughly.  And what use am I without the Light?

Yes, I know, there are other ways of healing.  I know some of them and they're teaching me more.  But I can't do it!  I had no problem sewing someone's guts together and stuffing them back in in the field before.  A little healing magic and they'd just smile while I worked.  But without it... even stitching a simple cut is an ordeal.  I can't handle it.

They try to keep still and stay quiet, but I can tell.  I can still hear th-

[ the remainder of the page is scribbled over and completely illegible ]

bold what applies / italic what might apply / cross out what isn’t possible

broken a bone // had a near death experience // been cheated on // killed someone (and succeeded) // killed someone (and failed) // self harmed // been married // had a child // adopted // been bullied // told a horrible lie // stolen something // seen a ghost // been camping // overdosed on drugs //been drunk // been to a haunted location // passed out // kissed the same sex // kissed the opposite sex // lost a limb // cheated // bullied // broken the law // invented something // punched someone in the face // been beaten up / /been admitted to hospital // been drugged // had sex // had sex and regretted it // done drugs // smoked // kissed someone they weren’t attracted to // bled severely // been shot // had an attempt on their life // made an attempt on their own life // lost someone // loved someone // had a pet // been hit by someone they loved // been tortured // held hostage // held a gun // gone without food for more than a day // gone without sleep for more than a day// had surgery // been slapped by a parent // gone to another planet // been to war // been forced into something // had a panic attack // gotten stitches // gotten arrested // been hired to kill someone // played with a Ouija board // witnessed death // been possessed // been in a vehicular accident // had sex with a stranger // been half-naked in the cold // been stabbed // passed out from pain // cried themselves to sleep // faked a smile // prayed // spent a whole day in bed // hurt themselves // taken anger out on themselves // had something slipped into their food / drink // been sexually assaulted // had a stalker // been betrayed // been a traitor // gotten away with crime // taken their anger out on someone they love // been used // used someone // been terrified // played a cruel game on someone //been dominant // been submissive // laughed when they felt like crying // accidentally hurt someone they cared about // thrown up //had a threesome // gotten into a fist fight // gone to jail // used a fake ID or faked an identity otherwise // gone to a rave // been in a house fire // left the country // told a dark joke

Tagged by: @mremaknu