Mrs Edge Says

Do you want to wear that little thing around your little thing for her?

Before we get into some practical, concrete tips and advice, I wanted to take a moment to expand on something that I alluded to at the end of the FLR Info series: 

If you like some aspects of FLR relationships but are unsure how you’d feel about your man if he shows less assertiveness and more servility, just start slow and take it as far as you feel comfortable with. For example, agree to harness the power of orgasm/erection control, but make it clear that you don’t want him to change in other ways (defer to you, do more housework, treat you like a queen etc.). Then see if you want to take things further when you gain more experience.

This is so important. If you and/or your partner find yourself intrigued by the idea of mixing up the power dynamics in your relationship, especially as it relates to sex, you should go ahead and explore it on your own terms. That means:

Don’t get hung up on labels or nomenclature. You’ll come across a dizzying array of terms and labels when reading about this stuff (FLR, femdom, female supremacy, master/slave roles, sissification, feminization etc.), but don’t get confused into thinking that you have to belong to one particular “camp” and do just the activities that are most often associated with them. Pick and choose!

Mix it up. Vary. Alternate. In the real world, people are mulfi-faceted, fickle and ever-changing. Maybe the type of relationship I’ve described in my FLR Info series was the perfect fit for you and your partner for six months, and then it just wasn’t anymore. That’s OK! It really is fine if the woman wants to be totally submissive in the bedroom, while at the same time her husband wears a chastity device 24/7. Or maybe you have two weeks each as the dominant one. There are no rules.

Zero is a perfectly fine number. Perhaps zero is the number of times you plan on making your husband please you orally. Or the number of toys, tools and implements that you use in your relationship. It could also be the number of times you have articulated any demands or rules to your husband, even though you have enjoyed daily massages and orgasms for years, without returning the favors. Good for you.

It’s OK to take a break. Or just end things. When you read about these things, you’ll notice that there’s almost never any mention of sick children, losing one’s job, having a shitty boss, moving across the country, renovating a house, commuting several hours every day or any of the other million things that drain us of energy as we go about our lives. For most of us, there are times when the main goal is just getting through the day - nevermind caring about who does what in the bedroom. That’s also perfectly fine. Take a break, indefinitely if you need to, then revisit if/when you feel like it.

…

On this, the first day of spring, I thought I would give some warm weather inspiration because

Summer Is Coming

It’s the little things that make this dynamic between us so intoxicating. Knowing you’re locked beneath your clothes, carrying my control with you through every part of your day, all while no one else knows.

Your coworkers see your focus, your attentiveness, but they have no idea what fuels it. To them, you’re just dependable, calm, and collected. They don’t know the real reason behind that quiet confidence or the ache you feel every time your thoughts drift to me.

When we’re out together, it’s our delicious secret. They think we’re just another couple, still deeply in love, never losing that spark. They don’t know that the heat between us isn’t luck—it’s the silent tension of your devotion. It’s the way you can barely breathe when I adjust the delicate key necklace around my neck, the one that unlocks everything you’ve given to me.

They see the way I smile, the way you hold doors for me or pour my wine. To them, it’s just romance. But for us, it’s so much more. Every touch, every glance, carries a weight only we understand. You feel the strain beneath your clothes, the ache that reminds you of your place, your purpose, and your surrender to me.

No one else has to know. It’s ours to share, a secret woven into every moment, every gesture. That spark they see? It’s the fire of your devotion and the thrill of knowing that your focus, your ache, your desire all belong to me. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. 🐝

FLR Tips is the sister site to FLR Info, where you’ll find introductory information about Female-Led Relationships. If you’re new to this, you should head over there. This site is about the practical, day-to-day aspects of FLRs. It is much more explicit and quite sex/femdom-oriented. Consider yourself warned.

With just six orgasms (or so) in the course of a full year, shouldn’t I be a good wife and at least make them really, really good for him?

This isn’t me asking, but it’s a question I get asked every now and then. It’s a fair question too, especially from women who are new to this, so I’m going to answer it as thoughtfully as I can.

But before we get into it, let’s recap what a ruined orgasm is. In FLRs and other femdom-type relationships, it’s common for the woman to control and restrict the man’s orgasms, typically using a chastity device combined with some rules and a shared understanding that it’s for their mutual benefit. Typically, the woman decides when and how the man is allowed to reach an orgasm. If she practices runied orgasms, she will endeavour to stop all forms of stimulation just as his desire pushes him beyond the point of no return. This causes the semen to trickle out in a seemingly frustrating and unsatisfying way, and, if done correctly, he will not lose his erection and will not feel “spent” and fulfilled afterwards, but rather be ready for more.

Let’s review the effects of this from both sides before we address whether it’s cruel to do this.

For the woman, it’s mostly benefits all the way. She gets to assert control and dominate one of the most fundamental aspects of being a man, with very little effort on her part. There can be a lot less mess - it’s easy to direct or collect his semen without any spillage. It can be very fun and rewarding for women who have a sadistic streak, which is quite common in femdom-type relationships. And, perhaps most importantly, he doesn’t collapse like a wet blanket afterwards, neither mentally nor physically. She can continue to play with him, or switch to being serviced herself - all without him losing interest.

As far as downsides go, depending on who you are, there might not be any. Maybe you get a big kick out of seeing him pump his semen flying through the room, and feel that you’d miss that? Well, just go ahead then - this isn’t about doing anything for the sake of it. Ruin him when you see the benefits of it, and have him go wild if that’s what you feel like.

How about the man? Are there any upsides to this for him? Perhaps surprisingly, there are several! He enjoys the sexual energy that he gets from being teased and denied, and with a ruined orgasm he barely loses any of it, while still getting a decent dose of satisfaction. Also, he can go right back to serving your needs with a genuine passion for it, without “faking it” for a couple of days. But most importantly, it plays directly to his kinks. Even though it feels frustrating in the moment to be denied a proper orgasm, on a deeper level he will revel in the transfer of power that is taking place, and the delicious unfairness of it all.

So no downsides for the man, then? Well, yes, there is one. I downplayed it in the previous paragraph, but it’s still a very real downside: He doesn’t get a proper orgasm! Being brought to a nice, fulfilling orgasm feels really, really good - most women living in FLRs are keenly aware of this fact, and enjoy plenty of them on a daily basis. Almost never experiencing one is definitely a downside, no doubt about it.

—

So, back to the question at hand. Are you a terrible person if he only (or mostly) gets ruined orgasms on the rare occasions that he is allowed to have some form of release?

Unequivocally, NO. If your relationship is otherwise healthy, meaning that you love and respect each other and the FLR/femdom aspects are based on a mutual understanding and continually evaluated, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Most men who have this particular kink are only too happy to be living with a woman who embraces and cultivates her demanding, sadistic, and selfish traits. This is what he WANTS - for you to put yourself first and to actively restrict his sexual pleasures. The unfairness of not only having to wait weeks between each release, but then only being allowed a degrading sham orgasm is a huge point in itself.

I’m being deliberately unnuanced here. Of course there are men who have different needs and wants - for real, not just playful complaining during sex. But that’s where the health of your relationship comes into play. If the relationship is healthy and based on mutual love and respect, you will soon enough discover that this isn’t working, either because he tells you or because you just sense it. And then you work it out.

So if your man appears happy most of the time, and continues to serve you eagerly, I wouldn’t worry about a little complaining when he is frustrated. On the contrary, I’d enjoy my power over him and remind him again and again of the old FLR/femdom aphorism:

We were about six months into our quest for a WLM and cock control lifestyle, when I accidentally found a key, stashed in one of my darling husband's drawers similar to the one I had, realizing that the chastity lock comes with a set of two keys rather than one.

At that point of our quest I was confident enough and already felt comfortable taking control, so I didn't snap the way I would have in the past, I took my time, ordered a new set of lock and keys and when dearest next due date for a full orgasm arrived, I took his cage off teased and edged him thoroughly and found an excuse to lock him back up without Cumming.

He was so horny, he didn't noticed the lock change and I didn't say a word.

.......and I waited.....and he was groping trying to figure out if I know something about him failing to sneakily mess with the lock......and I said nothing......and I let him stew for a whole week.....and then I called and said the above.

It was a hard talk......he was embarrassed....and I didn't make it easy on him.....and he confessed that he was ambivalent because deep down he wanted to be fully controlled, to be dominated by me but he was so used to masturbat he couldn't control his urge.