not your average man

I wish I could make cats understand the concept of fairness. Of hypocrisy. I wish next time Beatrice was eating I could stick my hand in her bowl and dig around and say "see? Not very nice is it?" And she would say "I understand now father you're right". But instead? Big fat paw in my soup

one must always maintain an unemployed sleep schedule. even with a job

goes to bed violently

actually. the point of it all is to be sweet to your friends. so there

<3 is proper punctuation

did i mention we have printing services that are significantly cheaper than anywhere else? printers are evil, let us handle them for you.

one! one thing wrong with me. two! two thing wrong with me. three!

gay person with a special interest call that passionfruit