Almost- A Piece on Darrel Curtis
Almost is such a funny word. Darry thinks as he lies down for the night. It’s late and he’s exhausted. He’s trying to sleep but his mind is still rapidly moving. It’s been four months since his parents died and sometimes it does this. Sometimes he feels like he’s drowning. Sometimes it’s so heavy on his chest that he can’t breathe. This is one of those nights.
Today he pulled a twelve hour shift before helping Ponyboy with his homework and getting some bills ready to be mailed back in the morning. Glory he was tired.
But almost was a funny word. A lot of things almost happened to Darrel. Darry almost forgot his lunch today. Darry almost fell off a roof because he was so tired. Darrel almost had enough money for college. He almost made it to college. Darrel almost looked just like his dad.
He almost got out of Tulsa.
Darry had almost been a lot of things in his life. As a greaser, he grew up knowing he wouldn’t always be dealt the best hand. But that’s what hard work was for, right? In school, he’d worked hard and turned those almost’s into definitely’s.
He had definitely gotten good grades. He had definitely been captain of the football team. He had definitely been made boy of the year. All because of hard work, grit, and determination. Things that greaser from the East side worth anything ought to have.
But things had changed so much since his days in school. Darry now had problems that even hard work couldn’t fix. Hard work wouldn’t bring his parents back. No matter how hard he worked, his kid brothers would never see their mom or dad again and he was doing a lousy job at being a stand-in.
There was so many things that those boys needed that Darry couldn't give to them. So many gifts their mom had given with her presence alone. So many things his father could fix with a small talk and a pat on the shoulder.
Ponyboy had so many almost's. More than Darry had at his age. Not only did he have all the almost's, he had the power to turn those into definitely's.
He had a great head on his shoulders. He was a great athlete and a genuinely polite, good kid. He still had so much to do, so many definitely's to make.
And Darry was gonna help him do it. Because Darry and that baby brother and Sodapop had so many reasons to look to a future of definitely's instead of a past of almost's
So... no. Darry wasn't thinking in almost's tonight.
He couldn’t think like that. Not without making himself crazy.
He couldn’t think of the almost’s. He should think of the grateful’s. It’s what his dad would do.
He was grateful for the house. He was grateful for his job. But most of all, he was grateful that his brothers were all together and had a bright future ahead of them.
