K_the_Day

I am a multi-fandom account but I am mostly into The Outsiders! I love writing, reading, music, and trees. Requests are open! (Writing requests will always take a little longer)

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My take on this concept because I woke up thinking about the fic ‘Long Road Ahead’ by Starsinabox on A03. (@starsinabox I think?) Basically Ponyboy’s mother took him and ran, leaving her husband with the other two boys. Might write more on this when Tsoa isn’t taking up my entire brain space :)

Ponyboy’s mother had been sick for some time now. Not that he would ever tell anyone that on account of getting scared that he would be sent away. He’d been taken into child protective custody once before when a teacher found out they were living in a shitty motel downtown. That was the last time he trusted a teacher enough to tell them anything. Now it was summer, so as long as he kept to himself and didn’t make small talk with any well meaning librarians, he would get to stay with his mother and make sure things didn’t get too bad.

“Mama?” He said quietly as soon as he’d locked the crummy apartment door behind him. He didn’t want to wake her if she was sleeping but he had to be careful that she knew he was home too. There was one time where he had made the mistake of coming home without a sound and his mom had all but freaked out. It took her about an hour to settle back into bed and fall asleep after that. It was not his proudest moment.

He had a few dollars cash on him from earlier. Now that it was summer and his mom was no longer able to work, he’d taken to pawning items from around their house or things he found around the neighborhood for any sort of sum. As long as he was able to pay for food, it was fine. Ponyboy was able to cover rent simply because he did the edging and all yardwork for their apartment building twice a week. He used to do it together with his mother but then she got sick and he’d had to get used to doing it on his own. As far as living went, it was fine, he was handling it and taking care of his mother, like any good son would.

“Mama?” He called again, setting down his wallet and bag of pasta and canned tomatoes on the table. He’d taken to buying canned tomatoes instead of red pasta sauce because they were cheaper and always on sale. It was also easier to dent the cans in the back of the store and claim that he needed a discount every once in a while. Ponyboy had taken to eating once a day. He skipped breakfast in favor of finding stuff around the house or neighborhood to sell and then spent the afternoon walking through the city to different pawn shops to see where he’d get the highest price. He usually wasn’t back until dinner and that’s when he finally ate for the day. Ponyboy was fine with it, his mother didn’t hardly eat anything anymore either. He’d taken to stealing chicken brother pellets from the store just so she would eat something that wasn’t tap water.

Ponyboy slowly tiptoed into her room, looking at the lump on the mattress on the floor and guessing that she hadn’t moved from where he’d left her this morning. It was hard to leave her most mornings, unmoving and coughing weakly. But he did it because how else would they eat or keep the lights on. Sometimes he missed when he was going to school and she was working because after a long day he’d find his mother here and curl up next to her. They’d lie for hours while she slept and he read a book. He didn’t have to go out and barter for money because he was too young to hold a job. She was still able to function okay at that point, she’d just needed more sleep than the average person. Now, she was too sick to do much of anything.

Ponyboy walks over to her, placing a hesitant hand on her shoulder and shaking softly. “Mama, I’m home. You okay?” She startles softly, her bony hand coming up to grab at his hand on her shoulder. “It’s just me.” He says softly, learning all about the tenderness he had possessed since she’d been getting sicker and sicker. She visibly relaxes at that, almost giving him a ghost of a smile.

“Hi baby.” She says weakly, stifling a cough. “How was your day?”

“It was good.” He says softly, letting her grab his hand with all the strength she can muster. “Got enough for dinner tonight if you’re up to it.” She doesn’t seem to hear that part, instead she looks past him.

“You wanna lie down with me for a little while? Like when you were little?” Her eyes are glazed over and it’s like she’d not really seeing him. Ponyboy’s heart twinges and he can’t bear to be away from her just then.

“Sure Mama.” He whispers as he carefully starts lying next to her. Ponyboy knows somewhere in the back of his mind that she doesn’t have much time but he doesn’t know what he’ll do when she actually goes. His short time in the foster system was awful and it was a relief when his mother had gotten him back. He’s only thirteen! He doesn’t want to spend the rest of his youth in the foster system getting the shit beat out of him by some asshole on a power trip. Hypothetically, he could do it but he doesn’t want to have to do it. His mother’s arms curl around him and Ponyboy relaxes slightly at her touch. They had been doing this since he was little, especially because even when he was younger, she was too tired to do much else besides work and then go to bed immediately. He wonders not for the first time just where his father is and if he would be sent to live with him when this all ended… God forbid.

His mother hadn’t told him much about his father, just that they had to leave because she had her reasons and that she never wanted to see him or any of the rest of them again. Though Ponyboy didn’t know what she meant by ‘the rest of them’. His imagination went wild with that information, conjuring images of his mother being beat to a bloody pulp by a looming statue of a man before grabbing him and getting the hell out of dodge. It was tough not to wonder though, what had been so bad about the man that Ponyboy didn’t get to grow up with a father? He was only eighteen months old when they left, he doesn’t have any memories of the man or any of the others that his mother had so carefully danced around. Most days, it doesn’t bother him but sometimes it hurts his soul that it had to be this way.

“Are you okay baby?” His mom asks in that whisper silent voice that she’d been using for as long as Ponyboy can remember. What his didn’t recall was how weak it had gotten in past weeks.

“Yeah.” He said softly, sinking into her. He hasn’t been okay in a long time but that’s not a conversation for his sick mother.

“This isn’t how I wanted things to be.” She says then, her voice tickling the back of his ear. “I’m sorry that you have to do any of this. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be a better mother for you.” Ponyboy knows what’s about to come so he turns around in the bed, facing his mother and pushing their foreheads together. He knows what’s coming and exactly how to stop it.

“Don’t say that Mama. I love you.” She gives him a watery smile, the kind that comes before a crying fit that sends her to sleep for more than eighteen hours.

“My sweet, smart, responsible boy. You just don’t deserve this. None of it. You deserve a real shot at life.” She puts a hand on the back of his scalp and runs her feather light fingers through his hair. Ponyboy doesn’t know what to say to any of that, so he just presses their foreheads harder together.

Sandy doesn’t know why Steve moves out within the next week but she’s guessing it has something to do with Soda being covered in bruises and Steve sporting a nice shiner on his cheek. The two don’t even look at each other, not that they were doing much before that but Steve moves out. Leaving a note on that table in scrappy handwriting that reads:

Not my problem anymore, right?

It chills Sandy down to the bone, considering that she’d basically given Evie an out with those same words. Sandy wants to ask but she holds her tongue. She wasn’t too popular with Evie at this point and even less popular with Steve. She’d been told only to find her if she was clean and since Sandy didn’t think there was a piss test that she would pass, she didn’t deserve to see her best friend anymore. To make her clean up another one of her messes. Sandy wanted to ask about the cut on his side too. She’d tried to ask in between hot kisses but he hadn’t wanted to hear about it. Instead, he’d cut her off by kissing her again and flipping her over so he was on top. 

Sandy got the point then. He didn’t want to talk about it. It was okay, she had plenty of things she’d rather not talk about either. 

Soda seemed to be getting restless. The kind of restlessness that reminded Sandy of when her own father would go stir crazy. He’d scrape around the house finding something to be pissed about. Soda wasn’t like that though, he wouldn’t take it out on her. He’d go looking for trouble at the rez or the farm. He’d already gone by himself a couple of times, Sandy electing not to go. Instead, she worked at the gas station, read paperbacks, and did just enough school work for the both of them to keep those monthly grant payments coming. 

She was walking home now after work, Dean taking over. Sandy was kicking a rock down the street, trying not to think about all of the lines she’d crossed and the things she’d messed up. She wondered what kind of mood Soda would be in tonight. Lately, he hadn’t wanted too much to do with her closeness, even if he wasn’t directly pushing her away. Sandy didn’t mind, it felt weird keeping people this close anyway. 

I love exploring lesser talked about characters post canon

Soda was beginning to curse his luck. He’d always been lucky… at least that’s what his Momma would tell him. 

“All your teeth come in straight on their own baby, that means you’re lucky.” 

It sure didn’t feel that way when they’d died… or when their buddies died… or when he got drafted. However, it was something that his own brother couldn’t resist telling him as he’d boarded that plane to Vietnam. 

“You’re lucky Soda. Don’t be forgettin’ that. Remember what Momma used to say? All your teeth come in straight on their own. That means you’re lucky.” 

Darry probably hadn’t meant to sound just like their mother. He probably didn’t even know that he was doing it but it had cut Soda just the slightest. It had rubbed him the wrong way. If this was luck, then he was sick of having it. 

Now he was cursing his luck, wishing that he had rolled something else. It seemed the only game he was good at anymore was pool, hence why no one here would play him in it. Sandy was sitting on the bar ledge behind him, moony eyed and listening to someone’s girlfriend shoot the breeze. He was supposed to come out of this game with more than he went in with but he was never a good swindler on his own. It was times like these when he missed Steve more than he could ever be upset at him. He had barely talked to Steve in weeks, just curt nods in the moldy hallway in the late hours they saw each other. 

He knew from Sandy that both Steve and Evie talked about them. They had seemed to come to their own conclusions about each of them and weren’t keen on sharing. Soda was sure it would blow up sooner rather than later. Especially since Darry had come onto his case at Two-Bit and Kathy’s Christening party.

There was rarely a moment where the two of them weren’t high anymore. Not that Sandy was complaining about it. She liked all of her problems being locked so far back in her mind that she couldn’t touch them. She liked not feeling so aware of herself and everything she was doing wrong. 

It was just two weeks ago that Sandy had gone to the Curtis home for dinner and they’d had to carefully explain that she and Soda had spent most of the summer hooking up in secret. Surprisingly, it hadn’t been awkward and Darry didn’t mind. Sandy got the feeling that he had more than a couple of his own secrets he was hiding anyway. Ponyboy had been giving her weird looks, like he was sizing her up or something. Soda had explained to her later that he told him there was a possibility of her being pregnant. It was only so that he wouldn’t assume they were using. 

It had gone well all things considered. Sandy could only hope that the christening went well too. Kathy ended up having the baby only two months previously and now they were finally ready to christen and baptize her. Sandy hadn’t seen the baby in person. Sometimes she really couldn’t stand being around other peoples babies, she was so scared of fucking up their perfections with her obvious imperfection. It was one of the reasons she didn’t want to see Kathy or Evie that much. She couldn’t stand being around Kathy in her emotional dripping motherhood. Evie was doing her best to do damage control but Sandy couldn’t stand to be around either. She’d seen Evie around, but it had been tense interactions maybe once a week. Sandy had all but moved into Soda’s apartment. 

She suspected that she and Steve had switched places. Steve stayed over at Evie’s while Sandy stayed here. It wasn’t ideal but it was fine for now. 

“It would be cool man.” She can hear Two-Bit garbling through the phone line as she sits, holding onto Soda’s waist while the phone cord curls around them both. “Both you and Stevie back in uniform. Like proving that you made it.”

Soda’s face looks pained at this. “Steve can do whatever he wants but I ain’t putin’ that uniform back in. Especially not to go into a church.” 

Coming out of the nightmare panic was probably the worst part. It left Soda’s body shaking and his heart bursting out of his chest. It was strange though, no matter how shaky and off kilter he felt, his hands were steady. It was like he’d trained himself to be able to aim and fire under the worst of circumstances. He hardly remembers the nightmare anyway, just the memory that it constantly clashes with. The alka-seltzer wasn’t helping either. 

Soda had slept most of the night on the couch, after being scared that his own nightmare would wake Sandy who was in his bed. He was still just the slightest bit put off by Sandy’s questions and admissions last night. He knew that she’d struggled with darkness and everything like that but her little admission had stilled him. 

“I really tried to hurt myself.”

He was still unsure of what that meant. The way her eyes had shown in the moonlight when she’d said it was what really freaked him out. He loved Sandy more than life at this point but he hadn’t wanted to think about her in that way. He only wished that she could feel about herself the way he felt about her. It had chilled his blood. Soda needed another hit before he threw up. 

“Soda?” His head snapped to where Sandy was standing in the hallway. She was in one of his shirts and little pair of shorts that she’d left at his apartment the last time she was there. 

“Hey…” He said, not looking at her china blue eyes that had so thoroughly freaked him out last night. 

“You okay?” She asked, moving forward. 

“Sure… are you?” 

Soda had always liked the farm. At least that’s what he kept telling Sandy on the way there. That it was one of the first places they had treated him like a human being after coming back from his service. Sandy couldn’t say that she minded all that much. Getting high off of someone else’s dime was much better than wasting her own money to shoot up. She’d never been to the farm in Tulsa but she knew the type.This type of crowd was more hippie than anything else while the druggies in Buck’s crowd were dangerous. Sandy and Soda fit very well into the hippie crowd, especially with her clothes and his longer hair. 

“Do they even do heroin?” Sandy asks then, finding that she doesn’t mind Soda’s hand on her thigh as they drive. It’s twitching, a sure sign that he’d taken something else before they had even left. Sandy had seen him do it a couple times. She knew enough to know what it was, cocaine, amphetamines, whatever would help him stay up during stuff like this. But Sandy never called him on it, she’d let Soda keep his secrets. 

“Sure, probably not tonight. But they smoke a lot of natural stuff. Mushrooms, peyote, that kind of thing. It’s fun.” 

“Okay.” Sandy says. She isn’t nervous by any means but she still has everyone's warnings about Soda being messed up at the back of her mind. Even though she didn’t mind this version of messed up and she figured that he wouldn’t hurt her, he was still a killer. Sandy wanted to ask him about it all the time but she didn’t know if she had the right. “They ain’t gonna mind that we’re moochin’ off of ‘em, right?” 

Soda snorts, keeping his eyes on the road as he pulls down a rural street. “Nah, they like me too much.”

“They like you too much? You got little kids runnin’ around that I should know about?” Sandy asks with a grin, hoping that it comes off like a joke. She’d been trying it out again… joking. It had seemed so wrong to do it back when she lived with her uncle in Florida but now it seemed alright. What was it called? She was finding herself.

It wasn’t all that often that Soda went to dinner with his brothers anymore. He had been staying away from it since he’d been spending so much time with Sandy. It didn’t help that it had been revealed that apparently both Steve and Evie knew about their little habit. This also meant that by extension, Darry knew too. Steve and Darry hadn’t always been close but they’d both been on the same page with trying to fix Soda. Something that he hated. He didn’t need fixing, he’d been independent since their parents died. He’d always been the kid that Darry never had to worry about but it seemed that things had changed. Darry was focusing significantly more energy into him than he was with Ponyboy. 

Soda had come back over to the house to grab a part for his car and possibly stay for dinner. Walking in, he didn’t know if it was a ploy by Darry to get him to stay for a while so that he could talk to him but Soda really didn’t care. He didn’t feel much like being alone and with Sandy working the evening shift at her new job, he would be. Sometimes he couldn’t stand his own apartment, the silence and dinginess. It was better when he was getting along with Steve but even since that one night where he’d fucked everything up, it had been just a place to sleep. Until Sandy had come back into the picture. 

“How is work anyway?” Darry asked him as Soda looked into the sink. Darry had been complaining about the garbage disposal, something that Soda had ruled would be an easy fix. It was something Darry easily could have repaired by himself. 

“It’s fine.” Soda says. “Same thing every day. You know how it is.” He says, just to fill the silence. 

“Yeah I get it.” He isn’t looking at Darry because his head is under the sink but he can feel the tension coming off of him. He was gearing up to ask Soda something. He was nervous about it too, something that he had never really been around Soda. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” 

Soda pokes his head out. “Sure?”