In the Words of Dariel

I don’t know if you realize this: basketball players are tall.

It’s like going to Krispy Kreme and they are out of glazed donuts. I don’t want any custard-filled cruller.

Up here like 'Flowers in the Attic'.

I don't want to meet in a gas station, lookin' like it's a drug deal or something.

Hulk Hogan could have been a millionaire. Instead we have a ubiquitous grill from a guy who named all eight of his children George.

Dominos is gonna be fine. The same way the New England Patriots will always be fine.

Have you ever used a floor model toilet that worked?

You know that thing, when you walk into someone else's house in the dark?

And that's how I learned you can't sell alcohol on eBay.

I am not eating something defecated by another creature.

You're signed up for 'Ugly Vegetables', right?

Everything begins with clean underwear.

What is a chimichanga? Is it wet?

Speaking on 'how we got here', I was just listening to the The Talking Heads.

With that said, I am going to disappear. Into the wind. Everyone likes the wind.

I literally had a goose look me up and down one time. He stood in the middle of the road and gave me a look. This goose just tried me and got away with it.

I don't like flowers, so she's not getting any.