word pollution

i probably shouldn't be here. i can't help it, though.

every time i see you it's a battle between me and my tongue. i'm vomiting up words about all kinds of topics, but there's one thing we never talk about.

we never talk about us.

your arms and hands are so big and veiny. you're so strong and you're using that strength to feel and grab all over me and lift me against the wall. it's like you've been starving and it's time for a feast.

there's no one like me, is there?

we are both stubborn. we both need to stay in control, and we both refuse to let our walls down. but you know the funny thing with feelings and desire is that they demand to be seen, sooner or later. i can feel you surrendering. i can feel how you've been needing me as you devour my neck and kiss me with such passion.

i have love for you but i can't put my finger on it. i allow your big arms to grab me but i know they need to let go soon. i pour my heart out to you but i never know why. i know i'll need to say my farewells soon, but here i am, laying as you hold me tight and wishing this could last a little longer.

where i scream and smash glasses on the floor and bleed all over you.

i don't speak of my struggles out loud,

but when i lay in your lap and i see your gaze falling onto the scars on my thighs,

i hope you see me. i hope you see where i come from.

i want you to know i'm struggling, but i don't want to get in the way.

anyways,

it's almost two in the morning and i'm on the cab to yours. i tell you i need a shot of vodka when i get there and you reply that you were thinking of me when buying drinks a few days ago.

were you now? adorable.

we're in front of your apartment building and i remind you of how good i am at pulling off those innocent eyes while my mind is flooded with wicked thoughts.

we barely make it to the elevator before you lift me onto the railing and grab me by the neck. i feel you in my bones.

the question remains: do we fuck each other so well that emotion lingers? or is the emotion we feel the reason we fuck so well?

and you were sleeping next to me

yet i was missing you already

i don't know whether you only want my body

but we're on your couch and you're not only ripping off my clothes

but also tearing apart my soul

we are so enstranged

in the way we don't talk that much or see that often

in the way no one's ever seen us together

except for that one taxi driver

and in the way i don't have a place in your life

and you don't have a place in mine

yet we are so familiar

in how we talk about our childhoods

in how i stroke your back as you fall asleep

and in how as your hands slide over my skin