no i’m not afraid to love, no i’m not afraid to fall. the more it hurts, the deeper the breath I take — even if I wander, I draw my own path — someday toward the tomorrow I once drew, even if it turns out different I will go further, to what comes after this.
disclaimers!
1. i do not write smut!! this blog is strictly sfw
2. i support enhypen and heeseung’s separate journeys, and will continue to love them as such.
3. do not interact if you are zionist, racist, homophobic, or prejudiced in any way— this is NOT the place for you.
4. do not be afraid to send me asks or dms!! i’m always up to talk :)
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in which riki would always be there for you, even when the masks fell. especially when the masks fell.
pairing cat noir!nishimura riki x ladybug!female reader wc 1.4k genre angst, hurt-comfort, miraculous au warning lots of miraculous terminology, mentions of death, injuries, vomit, profanity, riki's a yearner (and also lowkey impulsive, in true cat noir fashion), ft. danielle marsh as rena rouge! — note this is my debut as a cat noir fiend. pls accept me in my final form i don't play about him ❤️❤️❤️
“rena rouge, help!” riki cried out, desperately kicking at the door of danielle’s balcony. he would use his hands but they were full at the moment, too busy carrying your paralyzed body. “rena!”
“cat noir?” danielle looked down into his arms and gasped. “shit, ladybug!”
your body had been tainted, veins beginning to flow rotten, black blood through them— courtesy of cat noir’s cataclysm.
you gasped for air, desperation reflecting in the way you choked on your minimal breaths. your whimpers filled dani’s bedroom as cat noir carried you in, and he could barely keep it together.
his gaze kept shooting down to look at you. to look at the mess he made.
you were dying, and it was by his hand. his recklessness. his destruction.
“what the fuck happened?!”
“i’ll explain later— just help her!”
“i can’t help her, we need fu!”
“there’s no time!” riki wailed, laying your body on danielle’s floor. she shook her head, chest starting to rise and fall frantically in a way that allowed for her panic to seep through— you were her best friend after all, slipping away before her eyes.
she gulped, swallowing the anxiety that tested her composure. “cat noir, stay here with y/- ladybug. i’ll call fu.”
“wait, but i—”
“stay. here.” she stood her ground firmly, speeding out the room for her house phone.
it left you alone with riki, whose gut twisted at the sight of your squirming, moans of pain and discomfort the only thing he heard.
he was scared to touch you, he couldn’t go near you.
the last time he tried, he killed you.
“i’m so sorry,” was all he could whisper, sniffles pushing their way out despite his adamance on staying calm, because what right did he have to cry over what he did?
“c-cat noir… tikki…” you groaned, eyes closed shut as you gripped at your yo-yo. “huh? ladybug!” riki crouched down, careful to not touch you, but close enough to understand you.
“tikki? what about tikki?”
“you need… to h-help her.” your voice was tight, forced out in a way that told cat noir just how little life you had left. this wouldn’t do, he thought to himself. “what do you mean help her?”
he didn't get it until you said it.
“s-spots off.”
no. he wouldn’t.
riki turned his back immediately, refusing to look at your civilian form. “i’m not going to do it, ladybug.”
“cat, please–”
“i won’t–”
“take her to fu–”
“not without you!” he wailed, completely losing it. everything holding him together had lost their hold on riki, and he was a mess, sobbing as he heard ladybug’s movements slow down. he knew what he had to do, he had to save tikki– she was the kwami of the ladybug miraculous, after all.
but he couldn’t turn around. he couldn’t bare it.
“you have to t-turn around, kitty.” your voice was soft, void of the strength and confidence it usually carried, but you didn’t have it in you to pretend anymore. you didn’t have it in you to play ladybug anymore.
“i can’t turn around,” riki’s voice mirrored yours, no more than a murmur as he looked down at his hands, at a loss for further action.
the room was quiet, yet charged with the dread of the inevitable that the both of you carried.
“cat noir,” you whispered. “let me look at you… one last time.”
he froze, his restraint suddenly gone. he remembered the brutal truth, that ladybug was going to die here, and he had turned his back on her in her final moments.
he wouldn’t do that to her, to himself.
he turned around.
“...no.” you met his gaze, a weak smile the most you could muster as you watched the blood drain from his face.
the room had gone completely silent, overshadowed by the ringing in his ear. he began to shake violently, shivering as he tripped over his own feet.
"[name]."
it had been you all along. you had always been there for him, even without the mask on.
it was you who’d always found a way to make him feel better, you who always came to his rescue when his father tried to hold him back. you, who put everyone else before yourself.
you, who saved paris everyday, without anyone knowing.
you, who’d changed his life twice over.
this wasn’t going to happen.
he didn’t care that danielle was calling for master fu, he didn’t care that you were fully set on dying where you were, he didn’t care that you had no time left. he’d find a way to bring you back. you had done too much to be left to die, he wouldn’t stand for it. he knew what he had to do.
he regained composure, his steps purposeful as he started to pick you up. “[name], i’m getting you out of here,” he spoke absolutely, leaving no room for opposition. “i’m going to save the both of you.”
you mumbled, “well, hurry up, then.”
by the time danielle came back into the room, the two of you were long gone, her curtains blowing in the wind in your absence.
riki had been sitting in the same spot for hours, knees brought up to his chin as he stared at you from the corner of the room. you managed to survive the cataclysm, thanks to master fu’s masterful medicinal work and the ladybug miraculous slowing down the effects of the strike.
you were alive, you’d heal completely. but riki still felt it impossible to push down his guilt.
when you’d reached fu’s house a few hours earlier, he waited for you to be in the hands of the guardian before keeling over, all his horror and anxiety spilling out in bitter gushes of bile.
now, he was as responsive as you were, frozen in his place despite the late hour.
he stirred at the same time you did, watching your eyes flicker open as he quickly made his way to your side. he wouldn’t turn his back on you this time– he would be there for you now, all the way.
as your vision cleared up, you came face to face with the man in front of you. it was cat noir, you knew that much, but it was also–
“...riki?” your eyes widened as you realized. the same guy who you’d fallen in love with all the way back in high school, the selfless saint-of-a-man with a face that you still couldn’t manage to take your eyes off of, nishimura riki, was also your cunning, ever-charming jester of a superhero partner, cat noir. your cheeks flushed. talk about dramatic irony. “...huh.”
“are you okay? are you still in pain? are your veins still black?” he wasn’t even speaking directly to you, looking you up and down instead, observing for abnormalities. you chuckled, stopping his hand as it made its way to your wrist, “i’m fine, kitty.”
the nickname brought him back to reality, the nickname ladybug gave him. you knew it, you were ladybug. of course you were.
“right, uh– sorry,” he awkwardly inched back, sliding away a foot or two on his bottom. even if he was cat noir, you had a pathetic weakness when it came to nishimura riki, one that made you smile no matter what he did, as long as he was around.
you also weren’t completely disgusted by cat noir, but you’d never tell him that.
“you don’t have to be so stiff, you know,” you grinned, obviously in much higher spirits than you were in before. “identity reveals are supposed to be wholesome.”
he shot you a deadpan look. you understood immediately. “yeah, i know,” you replied to his gaze.
he still hadn’t said a word, almost frightened to say anything to you. he didn’t tell you what was up, but you knew anyway. you knew cat noir, you knew what was going through his mind– he was so predictable.
“it wasn’t your fault, riki.” you took his hand, running your thumb along his knuckles in gentle strokes. “you know it was monarch who threw you at me.”
“if i had just controlled my temper… not charged at him when i did—”
“he would’ve beat your ass, kitty,” you giggled, smiling ear to ear as riki subtly mirrored, grinning as much as he could running on negative sleep.
“riki, you did what you had to do,” you reassured him, noticing the way his face began lighting up at your words. there he was. “shit happens sometimes. that’s okay, ‘cause we always get through it, do we not?”
in which riki would always be there for you, even when the masks fell. especially when the masks fell.
pairing cat noir!nishimura riki x ladybug!female reader wc 1.4k genre angst, hurt-comfort, miraculous au warning lots of miraculous terminology, mentions of death, injuries, vomit, profanity, riki's a yearner (and also lowkey impulsive, in true cat noir fashion), ft. danielle marsh as rena rouge! — note this is my debut as a cat noir fiend. pls accept me in my final form i don't play about him ❤️❤️❤️
“rena rouge, help!” riki cried out, desperately kicking at the door of danielle’s balcony. he would use his hands but they were full at the moment, too busy carrying your paralyzed body. “rena!”
“cat noir?” danielle looked down into his arms and gasped. “shit, ladybug!”
your body had been tainted, veins beginning to flow rotten, black blood through them— courtesy of cat noir’s cataclysm.
you gasped for air, desperation reflecting in the way you choked on your minimal breaths. your whimpers filled dani’s bedroom as cat noir carried you in, and he could barely keep it together.
his gaze kept shooting down to look at you. to look at the mess he made.
you were dying, and it was by his hand. his recklessness. his destruction.
“what the fuck happened?!”
“i’ll explain later— just help her!”
“i can’t help her, we need fu!”
“there’s no time!” riki wailed, laying your body on danielle’s floor. she shook her head, chest starting to rise and fall frantically in a way that allowed for her panic to seep through— you were her best friend after all, slipping away before her eyes.
she gulped, swallowing the anxiety that tested her composure. “cat noir, stay here with y/- ladybug. i’ll call fu.”
“wait, but i—”
“stay. here.” she stood her ground firmly, speeding out the room for her house phone.
it left you alone with riki, whose gut twisted at the sight of your squirming, moans of pain and discomfort the only thing he heard.
he was scared to touch you, he couldn’t go near you.
the last time he tried, he killed you.
“i’m so sorry,” was all he could whisper, sniffles pushing their way out despite his adamance on staying calm, because what right did he have to cry over what he did?
“c-cat noir… tikki…” you groaned, eyes closed shut as you gripped at your yo-yo. “huh? ladybug!” riki crouched down, careful to not touch you, but close enough to understand you.
“tikki? what about tikki?”
“you need… to h-help her.” your voice was tight, forced out in a way that told cat noir just how little life you had left. this wouldn’t do, he thought to himself. “what do you mean help her?”
he didn't get it until you said it.
“s-spots off.”
no. he wouldn’t.
riki turned his back immediately, refusing to look at your civilian form. “i’m not going to do it, ladybug.”
“cat, please–”
“i won’t–”
“take her to fu–”
“not without you!” he wailed, completely losing it. everything holding him together had lost their hold on riki, and he was a mess, sobbing as he heard ladybug’s movements slow down. he knew what he had to do, he had to save tikki– she was the kwami of the ladybug miraculous, after all.
but he couldn’t turn around. he couldn’t bare it.
“you have to t-turn around, kitty.” your voice was soft, void of the strength and confidence it usually carried, but you didn’t have it in you to pretend anymore. you didn’t have it in you to play ladybug anymore.
“i can’t turn around,” riki’s voice mirrored yours, no more than a murmur as he looked down at his hands, at a loss for further action.
the room was quiet, yet charged with the dread of the inevitable that the both of you carried.
“cat noir,” you whispered. “let me look at you… one last time.”
he froze, his restraint suddenly gone. he remembered the brutal truth, that ladybug was going to die here, and he had turned his back on her in her final moments.
he wouldn’t do that to her, to himself.
he turned around.
“...no.” you met his gaze, a weak smile the most you could muster as you watched the blood drain from his face.
the room had gone completely silent, overshadowed by the ringing in his ear. he began to shake violently, shivering as he tripped over his own feet.
"[name]."
it had been you all along. you had always been there for him, even without the mask on.
it was you who’d always found a way to make him feel better, you who always came to his rescue when his father tried to hold him back. you, who put everyone else before yourself.
you, who saved paris everyday, without anyone knowing.
you, who’d changed his life twice over.
this wasn’t going to happen.
he didn’t care that danielle was calling for master fu, he didn’t care that you were fully set on dying where you were, he didn’t care that you had no time left. he’d find a way to bring you back. you had done too much to be left to die, he wouldn’t stand for it. he knew what he had to do.
he regained composure, his steps purposeful as he started to pick you up. “[name], i’m getting you out of here,” he spoke absolutely, leaving no room for opposition. “i’m going to save the both of you.”
you mumbled, “well, hurry up, then.”
by the time danielle came back into the room, the two of you were long gone, her curtains blowing in the wind in your absence.
riki had been sitting in the same spot for hours, knees brought up to his chin as he stared at you from the corner of the room. you managed to survive the cataclysm, thanks to master fu’s masterful medicinal work and the ladybug miraculous slowing down the effects of the strike.
you were alive, you’d heal completely. but riki still felt it impossible to push down his guilt.
when you’d reached fu’s house a few hours earlier, he waited for you to be in the hands of the guardian before keeling over, all his horror and anxiety spilling out in bitter gushes of bile.
now, he was as responsive as you were, frozen in his place despite the late hour.
he stirred at the same time you did, watching your eyes flicker open as he quickly made his way to your side. he wouldn’t turn his back on you this time– he would be there for you now, all the way.
as your vision cleared up, you came face to face with the man in front of you. it was cat noir, you knew that much, but it was also–
“...riki?” your eyes widened as you realized. the same guy who you’d fallen in love with all the way back in high school, the selfless saint-of-a-man with a face that you still couldn’t manage to take your eyes off of, nishimura riki, was also your cunning, ever-charming jester of a superhero partner, cat noir. your cheeks flushed. talk about dramatic irony. “...huh.”
“are you okay? are you still in pain? are your veins still black?” he wasn’t even speaking directly to you, looking you up and down instead, observing for abnormalities. you chuckled, stopping his hand as it made its way to your wrist, “i’m fine, kitty.”
the nickname brought him back to reality, the nickname ladybug gave him. you knew it, you were ladybug. of course you were.
“right, uh– sorry,” he awkwardly inched back, sliding away a foot or two on his bottom. even if he was cat noir, you had a pathetic weakness when it came to nishimura riki, one that made you smile no matter what he did, as long as he was around.
you also weren’t completely disgusted by cat noir, but you’d never tell him that.
“you don’t have to be so stiff, you know,” you grinned, obviously in much higher spirits than you were in before. “identity reveals are supposed to be wholesome.”
he shot you a deadpan look. you understood immediately. “yeah, i know,” you replied to his gaze.
he still hadn’t said a word, almost frightened to say anything to you. he didn’t tell you what was up, but you knew anyway. you knew cat noir, you knew what was going through his mind– he was so predictable.
“it wasn’t your fault, riki.” you took his hand, running your thumb along his knuckles in gentle strokes. “you know it was monarch who threw you at me.”
“if i had just controlled my temper… not charged at him when i did—”
“he would’ve beat your ass, kitty,” you giggled, smiling ear to ear as riki subtly mirrored, grinning as much as he could running on negative sleep.
“riki, you did what you had to do,” you reassured him, noticing the way his face began lighting up at your words. there he was. “shit happens sometimes. that’s okay, ‘cause we always get through it, do we not?”
in which being a saint was exhausting, and jungwon was willing to break all his rules for you.
pairing idol!jungwon x female reader wc 557 genre romance, implied friends to lovers warnings brief profanity, that's probably it oops - note this is inspired by sue me by aubrey hobert!! i also seem to have a thing for yearner jungwon let's talk about it (i will update my jake smau soon i swear)
it wasn’t love, it couldn’t be.
jungwon knew the signs– the dangerously unstable heart rate, the constant overthinking of every minor interaction, the awkward realization that you might want to imagine a future with someone by your side. he saw them, he felt them, but he told himself no, that it couldn’t possibly be true.
love was too much of a luxury for jungwon, simply something he was unable to afford. the idol life was too taxing to make room for anything else, and even thinking about romance as an idol could ruin someone’s whole career.
there was too much at risk, too much for him to try and gamble.
but then he’d see you in the hallways, the bright smile that would line your lips as you waved in his direction, radiating an aura of purity that left him enamored in ways that he had never felt before.
he’d remember the way you’d met, a simple run-in backstage at an award show. you took the last pack of shrimp chips unknowing that jungwon wanted them, and upon meeting his disappointed gaze, you handed him the bag without hesitation, like you were glad to do so.
he’d recall the way he felt, the surprise but also the gratitude. it was no more than a simple gesture, but it left him stirred, feelings beginning to brew that had never been spoken of before then.
he’d remember how you would cross paths all the time at the HYBE building, groups bumping into each other often, and how you would always greet him with that tragically beautiful smile of yours. how the two of you would end up meeting up together whenever you had free time, a strong friendship blossoming out of a simple act of service.
he’d think about it all the time, the first time you opened up to each other. when connection evolved into trust, and light conversation turned into intimate talks, sharing things with others that others would never hear.
his members would tease him whenever they could, joking that he always “ditched” the guys after practice to go hang out with you. he’d roll his eyes, but he’d never deny it– how could he?
he’d always remember the moment he felt it for the first time, the moment he felt that shift that told him that friendship was starting to slip away from him, and that casual was starting to evolve into something much less than. he’d remember how he ignored it, brushing it off, and then how it came back to him full force.
he would think of the risks– how much this could cost him, all the things he’d worked so hard for, going to shit at the hands of the devil cupid.
he’d think of it all, his brain pulling him in too many directions at once. but his heart had known the truth.
there, there was no doubt, no second-guessing, no fear, just love– nothing but love.
yang jungwon was hopelessly in love with you, no matter how many times his head told him to stay safe away from love. going by the book was exhausting, and the line between you and him had become one he was willing to cross.
jungwon knew exactly what he wanted now, and damn him to hell if he ever let you slip past him.
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in which being a saint was exhausting, and jungwon was willing to break all his rules for you.
pairing idol!jungwon x female reader wc 557 genre romance, implied friends to lovers warnings brief profanity, that's probably it oops - note this is inspired by sue me by aubrey hobert!! i also seem to have a thing for yearner jungwon let's talk about it (i will update my jake smau soon i swear)
it wasn’t love, it couldn’t be.
jungwon knew the signs– the dangerously unstable heart rate, the constant overthinking of every minor interaction, the awkward realization that you might want to imagine a future with someone by your side. he saw them, he felt them, but he told himself no, that it couldn’t possibly be true.
love was too much of a luxury for jungwon, simply something he was unable to afford. the idol life was too taxing to make room for anything else, and even thinking about romance as an idol could ruin someone’s whole career.
there was too much at risk, too much for him to try and gamble.
but then he’d see you in the hallways, the bright smile that would line your lips as you waved in his direction, radiating an aura of purity that left him enamored in ways that he had never felt before.
he’d remember the way you’d met, a simple run-in backstage at an award show. you took the last pack of shrimp chips unknowing that jungwon wanted them, and upon meeting his disappointed gaze, you handed him the bag without hesitation, like you were glad to do so.
he’d recall the way he felt, the surprise but also the gratitude. it was no more than a simple gesture, but it left him stirred, feelings beginning to brew that had never been spoken of before then.
he’d remember how you would cross paths all the time at the HYBE building, groups bumping into each other often, and how you would always greet him with that tragically beautiful smile of yours. how the two of you would end up meeting up together whenever you had free time, a strong friendship blossoming out of a simple act of service.
he’d think about it all the time, the first time you opened up to each other. when connection evolved into trust, and light conversation turned into intimate talks, sharing things with others that others would never hear.
his members would tease him whenever they could, joking that he always “ditched” the guys after practice to go hang out with you. he’d roll his eyes, but he’d never deny it– how could he?
he’d always remember the moment he felt it for the first time, the moment he felt that shift that told him that friendship was starting to slip away from him, and that casual was starting to evolve into something much less than. he’d remember how he ignored it, brushing it off, and then how it came back to him full force.
he would think of the risks– how much this could cost him, all the things he’d worked so hard for, going to shit at the hands of the devil cupid.
he’d think of it all, his brain pulling him in too many directions at once. but his heart had known the truth.
there, there was no doubt, no second-guessing, no fear, just love– nothing but love.
yang jungwon was hopelessly in love with you, no matter how many times his head told him to stay safe away from love. going by the book was exhausting, and the line between you and him had become one he was willing to cross.
jungwon knew exactly what he wanted now, and damn him to hell if he ever let you slip past him.
in which you became someone else to earn his affections, and now that you’re getting what you want, you regret it all.
pairing downbad!lee heeseung x uninterested!female reader wc 722 genre angst, hurt no comfort, unrequited love warnings profanity, arguments, y/n is lowkey mean asl to heeseung uhh, no happy ending — note for my baby @heeseungconsumer happy birthday Ok
this was it— this was the moment you’d worked so hard for.
heeseung stood in front of you, hands intertwined with yours as he pulled you closer. his eyes stared into yours with the longing you’d always hoped you’d see in them, the love you always wished you’d see in them. “date me, [name].” his voice was low, but genuine— you could feel it.
he wanted you. lee heeseung finally wanted you.
so why did you feel so bad?
“heeseung, i-”
“you feel it too, don’t you?” he smiled, a smile from the soul. it made your heart swell and ache all at the same time. “we have something, [name]— we just work together, it’s effortless with us.”
no it wasn’t. you knew it wasn’t.
six months ago, you saw him from the corner of your eye while grabbing a package from your front door. you felt as if you’d laid your eyes on heaven itself, he was beautiful.
you’d made it your mission to get to know this mystery guy, the guy who lived down the hall from you. you figured out all his interests, likes, dislikes, preferences, and approached him with them.
you became someone who would fit perfectly with him, but it wasn’t you.
you started to see it after three months. the way his face would light up when you came over, how he’d blush when you got a bit too close, how oblivious he was to your obvious disinterest in your conversation. he loved that you loved the same things as him, but his interests bored you.
he was so happy, and you were miserable— it made you hate yourself. you were playing him, plain and simple, and you couldn’t find it in you to call it off.
but now, he had laid his heart out for you, and you had to throw it away like it meant nothing.
“heeseung, i hate ramen.” you spoke suddenly, taking your hands out of his.
“…what?” his face was absurd, somewhere in between confusion and amusement. “i could’ve sworn you—”
“i think it tastes artificial.”
“but you told me you liked ramen?”
“i told you a lot of things, heeseung,” you sighed, pausing briefly before finally giving him the truth. “but they were lies. all of it.”
“huh? what do you mean?” he chuckled awkwardly, as if he were trying to decipher whether or not you were telling a joke. when he saw the guilt on your face, his smile dropped.
“wait, you’re serious?”
“i’m sorry—”
“you lied? about everything?” you saw the way his face twisted, the warmth in his eyes cooling into something lovelorn and bitter. he choked, “none of this was real?”
you could only stand in silence. he grimaced, hurt evident as he shook his head.
“why? why would you lie?”
it was embarrassing to admit, as if you couldn’t already regret it so much. it didn’t come out, no matter how hard you tried to say it.
i found you hot, heeseung, but realized you were boring and didn’t know how to tell you. i’m sorry.
“shit,” he turned around, small sniffles leaving his nose as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “damn it, [name]!”
“heeseung—”
“did you mean any of it?” he kept his back turned, his voice now dull, void of emotion yet so full of hurt.
you thought about it. did you mean any of it? was there a point throughout the last six months where you genuinely felt something toward the man in front of you?
and you tried, you tried so hard to find something. but your mind went blank.
“…no.”
silence, then—
“well then, i guess we’re done here.” his voice was shaky, but he tried to keep it steady. he walked away, hands in his pockets as he left you standing in front of your door.
you watched as he walked away, and he could feel your eyes on him. he opened his door, but before he went inside, he turned around one last time,
“you’re horrible, [name]. i hope you know that.”
he slammed the door behind him, and there was nothing more to be done but to live with the cruel reality you’d been dealt.
you played lee heeseung, fucked with his head.
you made him love you, and you regretted every part of it.
in which you became someone else to earn his affections, and now that you’re getting what you want, you regret it all.
pairing downbad!lee heeseung x uninterested!female reader wc 722 genre angst, hurt no comfort, unrequited love warnings profanity, arguments, y/n is lowkey mean asl to heeseung uhh, no happy ending — note for my baby @heeseungconsumer happy birthday Ok
this was it— this was the moment you’d worked so hard for.
heeseung stood in front of you, hands intertwined with yours as he pulled you closer. his eyes stared into yours with the longing you’d always hoped you’d see in them, the love you always wished you’d see in them. “date me, [name].” his voice was low, but genuine— you could feel it.
he wanted you. lee heeseung finally wanted you.
so why did you feel so bad?
“heeseung, i-”
“you feel it too, don’t you?” he smiled, a smile from the soul. it made your heart swell and ache all at the same time. “we have something, [name]— we just work together, it’s effortless with us.”
no it wasn’t. you knew it wasn’t.
six months ago, you saw him from the corner of your eye while grabbing a package from your front door. you felt as if you’d laid your eyes on heaven itself, he was beautiful.
you’d made it your mission to get to know this mystery guy, the guy who lived down the hall from you. you figured out all his interests, likes, dislikes, preferences, and approached him with them.
you became someone who would fit perfectly with him, but it wasn’t you.
you started to see it after three months. the way his face would light up when you came over, how he’d blush when you got a bit too close, how oblivious he was to your obvious disinterest in your conversation. he loved that you loved the same things as him, but his interests bored you.
he was so happy, and you were miserable— it made you hate yourself. you were playing him, plain and simple, and you couldn’t find it in you to call it off.
but now, he had laid his heart out for you, and you had to throw it away like it meant nothing.
“heeseung, i hate ramen.” you spoke suddenly, taking your hands out of his.
“…what?” his face was absurd, somewhere in between confusion and amusement. “i could’ve sworn you—”
“i think it tastes artificial.”
“but you told me you liked ramen?”
“i told you a lot of things, heeseung,” you sighed, pausing briefly before finally giving him the truth. “but they were lies. all of it.”
“huh? what do you mean?” he chuckled awkwardly, as if he were trying to decipher whether or not you were telling a joke. when he saw the guilt on your face, his smile dropped.
“wait, you’re serious?”
“i’m sorry—”
“you lied? about everything?” you saw the way his face twisted, the warmth in his eyes cooling into something lovelorn and bitter. he choked, “none of this was real?”
you could only stand in silence. he grimaced, hurt evident as he shook his head.
“why? why would you lie?”
it was embarrassing to admit, as if you couldn’t already regret it so much. it didn’t come out, no matter how hard you tried to say it.
i found you hot, heeseung, but realized you were boring and didn’t know how to tell you. i’m sorry.
“shit,” he turned around, small sniffles leaving his nose as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “damn it, [name]!”
“heeseung—”
“did you mean any of it?” he kept his back turned, his voice now dull, void of emotion yet so full of hurt.
you thought about it. did you mean any of it? was there a point throughout the last six months where you genuinely felt something toward the man in front of you?
and you tried, you tried so hard to find something. but your mind went blank.
“…no.”
silence, then—
“well then, i guess we’re done here.” his voice was shaky, but he tried to keep it steady. he walked away, hands in his pockets as he left you standing in front of your door.
you watched as he walked away, and he could feel your eyes on him. he opened his door, but before he went inside, he turned around one last time,
“you’re horrible, [name]. i hope you know that.”
he slammed the door behind him, and there was nothing more to be done but to live with the cruel reality you’d been dealt.
you played lee heeseung, fucked with his head.
you made him love you, and you regretted every part of it.
in which the uptight scholar jake sim tutors you in physics in exchange for friends, and he ends up gaining so much more.
pairing physics major!jake x physics major!reader genre college au, crack, smau warnings crack, sunsun is Real (cope), profanity, like one dirty joke, some drama — note jakey/n debutation how are we… might not update this week bc i too need to lock in for finals 🫡🫡
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in which the uptight scholar jake sim tutors you in physics in exchange for friends, and he ends up gaining so much more.
pairing physics major!jake x physics major!reader genre college au, crack, smau warnings crack, sunsun is Real (cope), profanity, like one dirty joke, some drama — note jakey/n debutation how are we… might not update this week bc i too need to lock in for finals 🫡🫡
in which you dance like nobody’s watching, and he loves every minute of it.
pairing record store employee! jay x female reader wc 416 genre fluff, crack(?) warnings maybe secondhand embarrassment idk — note GUYS I HIT 100 FOLLOWERS 🥹🥹 tysm i promise i will finish my jake smau soon and maybe release a teaser for something bigger??? hehe
jay had never seen anyone like you.
he’d been working an afternoon shift at the record store in his town, a shift he wasn’t particularly mad at, considering his love for music and the opportunities his shift gave him. people tended to fill up the store in the afternoon, so he enjoyed taking those shifts for a thicker paycheck.
but he never would have expected anyone as special as you to visit the store.
you walked in with an unusual energy, awfully lively for the cloudy weather outside. you greeted jay with an enthusiastic wave, treating him as someone you’ve known for years, despite this being your first meeting. jay perked a confused brow up, tilting his head as he watched you take confident steps towards the classics section.
you picked up a record of bon jovi, heading towards the corner of the store where you could listen to the records with any free pair of headphones.
you inserted the vinyl into the record player, put the headphones on, and immediately started… dancing?
it was completely absurd– you were completely bouncing around, humming rather loudly to the songs on the record. jay stared at you quizzically from the cash register, turning his head to meet gazes with his coworker, jake.
“bro, is she… good?” jay shrugged his shoulders, turning back to you curiously.
you stopped for nobody, not even when they shot you dirty looks passing by, or when they pulled their kids away from where you were. you just didn’t care, it was insane to him.
his feet moved on his own, taking him from his spot behind the register to right behind you. he tapped your shoulder, making you snap your head back. you took the headphones off, looking at him with a smile.
“livin’ on a prayer– a classic,” jay smirked.
you gasped. “how’d you know?”
“you aren’t exactly quiet, you know.” you flustered, cheeks red as you chuckled. “i didn’t notice,” you took the record out of the player, putting it back in its packaging. “I’m sorry, i just love this song.”
“fan of bon jovi?”
“of course!”
“well,” jay moved closer, slowly taking the vinyl from your hands. “if you ever need recommendations, i’m here.” he smiled, which you returned. he didn’t know much about you– he actually didn’t know anything about you– but he wanted to learn more.
he was intrigued by you, and he’d do what he could to learn more about the shameless girl from his record store.
in which you dance like nobody’s watching, and he loves every minute of it.
pairing record store employee! jay x female reader wc 416 genre fluff, crack(?) warnings maybe secondhand embarrassment idk — note GUYS I HIT 100 FOLLOWERS 🥹🥹 tysm i promise i will finish my jake smau soon and maybe release a teaser for something bigger??? hehe
jay had never seen anyone like you.
he’d been working an afternoon shift at the record store in his town, a shift he wasn’t particularly mad at, considering his love for music and the opportunities his shift gave him. people tended to fill up the store in the afternoon, so he enjoyed taking those shifts for a thicker paycheck.
but he never would have expected anyone as special as you to visit the store.
you walked in with an unusual energy, awfully lively for the cloudy weather outside. you greeted jay with an enthusiastic wave, treating him as someone you’ve known for years, despite this being your first meeting. jay perked a confused brow up, tilting his head as he watched you take confident steps towards the classics section.
you picked up a record of bon jovi, heading towards the corner of the store where you could listen to the records with any free pair of headphones.
you inserted the vinyl into the record player, put the headphones on, and immediately started… dancing?
it was completely absurd– you were completely bouncing around, humming rather loudly to the songs on the record. jay stared at you quizzically from the cash register, turning his head to meet gazes with his coworker, jake.
“bro, is she… good?” jay shrugged his shoulders, turning back to you curiously.
you stopped for nobody, not even when they shot you dirty looks passing by, or when they pulled their kids away from where you were. you just didn’t care, it was insane to him.
his feet moved on his own, taking him from his spot behind the register to right behind you. he tapped your shoulder, making you snap your head back. you took the headphones off, looking at him with a smile.
“livin’ on a prayer– a classic,” jay smirked.
you gasped. “how’d you know?”
“you aren’t exactly quiet, you know.” you flustered, cheeks red as you chuckled. “i didn’t notice,” you took the record out of the player, putting it back in its packaging. “I’m sorry, i just love this song.”
“fan of bon jovi?”
“of course!”
“well,” jay moved closer, slowly taking the vinyl from your hands. “if you ever need recommendations, i’m here.” he smiled, which you returned. he didn’t know much about you– he actually didn’t know anything about you– but he wanted to learn more.
he was intrigued by you, and he’d do what he could to learn more about the shameless girl from his record store.
in which your relationship with jungwon isn’t as transparent as you were made to believe, but when the stakes are high, you still stay by his side.
pairing assassin!jungwon x female reader wc 847 genre angst-ish? established relationship, action warnings profanity, brief mentions of murder, we’re lowkey hella easy oops— note me and MJ are like this 🤞🤞 for real. this is inspired by speed demon by michael jackson!!
tensions were high, sirens blaring all around you as jungwon was dragging you down a narrow alley by the hand, away from the police on your tail. “jungwon, what’s going on?! please, say something!” he stayed silent, laser-focused on eluding the multitude of cops beginning to surround the area around you.
the night had started off normal– you and jungwon at home, lazing around and chatting like you normally did. conversation was light that night, since jungwon had told you he’d had a particularly hard day at work. you knew he always worked hard during the day, his construction job oftentimes leaving him injured and bleeding by the time he got home.
there was nothing out of the ordinary, until suddenly, everything went wrong.
the door was met with aggressive pounding, shouts echoing down the hallway outside. you flinched, immediately turning to jungwon, whose entire body had gone tense as if he’d been paralyzed.
“no, no, no!” he dug his hands into his hair, frustration evident as he got up, grabbing your hand to take you with him. “[name], we’ve got to go. now.”
“wait, jungwon, what’s wrong–”
“they weren’t supposed to find us here,” he hastily looked around the room until his eyes landed on the window. it looked two stories down on a shady alley in between your apartment building and the one next door. you never would have thought much about the position of your apartment, but now, as you watch jungwon purposefully opening the window with no hesitation, you can’t help but question if it’s deliberate.
“jungwon, talk to me!” you plead desperately as jungwon grabs your hand, pulling you toward the window. he demands sternly, “jump, and aim for the trash.”
“what? why can’t we–”
“[name], please! we need to go!”
“don’t tell me they’re after you, jungwon!” you screech, but he’s already got one foot out the window, jumping out resolutely, falling into the trash dump with a grunt. you yelped, feet frozen in place as the door began to break, the knob shooting from the door.
“shitshitshitshitshit,” you ran to the window, gulping anxiously before jumping out, screaming the whole way down as jungwon promptly picked you out the trash, grabbing your hand once more. “jungwon, what’s going on?! please, say something!” your pleas fell on deaf ears, jungwon dragging you down the alleyway, moving swiftly towards a car on the sidewalk. he wastes no time before taking his fist to the window, breaking it with ease before shoving his hand inside to unlock the car door.
“what the fuck?!” you exclaim, quickly shuffling into the car as you see the cops getting closer. jungwon comes in from the driver seat, stepping on the gas as soon as he gets the door close. the sudden speed had you pushed up against the seat, the force holding you down.
that was when the questions started coming in.
“what the fuck is happening right now?!”
“are they after you?!”
“are we going to die?!”
“[name], can you just give me a second?!” he roars, swerving on a sharp corner with impeccable precision. his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, nearly shaking from the intensity. “i haven’t been completely honest about my job,” he starts through gritted teeth.
“aren’t you a construction worker?”
“i’m an assassin, [name].”
“what?” you feel your world stop. you feel as if you’re sitting in the car with a stranger. yang jungwon, your best friend of years, boyfriend of six months, has never been the guy that you thought he was.
“there’s been some people after me, from an unfinished mission,” you can barely hear him over the sirens that trailed very closely behind you, but you still listened to the best of your abilities. “i didn’t think they’d find me, find you.”
jungwon was drowning in guilt from the moment the police came pounding at the door. despite the job he took on, you were the most important thing in his life. no target or mission would ever mean more to him than you— he just hoped to god that you’d know that.
silence came over the both of you, suffocating until you broke it.
“i’ll tell my parents that you got a promotion,” you sighed, “and that we have to move.”
jungwon gasped, not expecting anything more than rejection from you. “are you– are you sure?”
“honestly? i’m tempted to throw your ass out of this car and let your assassin baddies kill you,” you look down tiredly– angrily, but withdrawn. “but i’m sure there’s a valid reason for why you kill people for a living.”
“i promise there is!”
“there better be.”
there was still doubt in the air, questions to be answered. you weren’t sure if you could trust jungwon anymore, whether this next chapter of your lives would end well, but damn you if you didn’t try to make it work. you loved that man with your life, bounties and all— so when he started speeding down the freeway, cops and enemies hot on his trail, you stuck with him the whole way through.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
in which your relationship with jungwon isn’t as transparent as you were made to believe, but when the stakes are high, you still stay by his side.
pairing assassin!jungwon x female reader wc 847 genre angst-ish? established relationship, action warnings profanity, brief mentions of murder, we’re lowkey hella easy oops— note me and MJ are like this 🤞🤞 for real. this is inspired by speed demon by michael jackson!!
tensions were high, sirens blaring all around you as jungwon was dragging you down a narrow alley by the hand, away from the police on your tail. “jungwon, what’s going on?! please, say something!” he stayed silent, laser-focused on eluding the multitude of cops beginning to surround the area around you.
the night had started off normal– you and jungwon at home, lazing around and chatting like you normally did. conversation was light that night, since jungwon had told you he’d had a particularly hard day at work. you knew he always worked hard during the day, his construction job oftentimes leaving him injured and bleeding by the time he got home.
there was nothing out of the ordinary, until suddenly, everything went wrong.
the door was met with aggressive pounding, shouts echoing down the hallway outside. you flinched, immediately turning to jungwon, whose entire body had gone tense as if he’d been paralyzed.
“no, no, no!” he dug his hands into his hair, frustration evident as he got up, grabbing your hand to take you with him. “[name], we’ve got to go. now.”
“wait, jungwon, what’s wrong–”
“they weren’t supposed to find us here,” he hastily looked around the room until his eyes landed on the window. it looked two stories down on a shady alley in between your apartment building and the one next door. you never would have thought much about the position of your apartment, but now, as you watch jungwon purposefully opening the window with no hesitation, you can’t help but question if it’s deliberate.
“jungwon, talk to me!” you plead desperately as jungwon grabs your hand, pulling you toward the window. he demands sternly, “jump, and aim for the trash.”
“what? why can’t we–”
“[name], please! we need to go!”
“don’t tell me they’re after you, jungwon!” you screech, but he’s already got one foot out the window, jumping out resolutely, falling into the trash dump with a grunt. you yelped, feet frozen in place as the door began to break, the knob shooting from the door.
“shitshitshitshitshit,” you ran to the window, gulping anxiously before jumping out, screaming the whole way down as jungwon promptly picked you out the trash, grabbing your hand once more. “jungwon, what’s going on?! please, say something!” your pleas fell on deaf ears, jungwon dragging you down the alleyway, moving swiftly towards a car on the sidewalk. he wastes no time before taking his fist to the window, breaking it with ease before shoving his hand inside to unlock the car door.
“what the fuck?!” you exclaim, quickly shuffling into the car as you see the cops getting closer. jungwon comes in from the driver seat, stepping on the gas as soon as he gets the door close. the sudden speed had you pushed up against the seat, the force holding you down.
that was when the questions started coming in.
“what the fuck is happening right now?!”
“are they after you?!”
“are we going to die?!”
“[name], can you just give me a second?!” he roars, swerving on a sharp corner with impeccable precision. his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, nearly shaking from the intensity. “i haven’t been completely honest about my job,” he starts through gritted teeth.
“aren’t you a construction worker?”
“i’m an assassin, [name].”
“what?” you feel your world stop. you feel as if you’re sitting in the car with a stranger. yang jungwon, your best friend of years, boyfriend of six months, has never been the guy that you thought he was.
“there’s been some people after me, from an unfinished mission,” you can barely hear him over the sirens that trailed very closely behind you, but you still listened to the best of your abilities. “i didn’t think they’d find me, find you.”
jungwon was drowning in guilt from the moment the police came pounding at the door. despite the job he took on, you were the most important thing in his life. no target or mission would ever mean more to him than you— he just hoped to god that you’d know that.
silence came over the both of you, suffocating until you broke it.
“i’ll tell my parents that you got a promotion,” you sighed, “and that we have to move.”
jungwon gasped, not expecting anything more than rejection from you. “are you– are you sure?”
“honestly? i’m tempted to throw your ass out of this car and let your assassin baddies kill you,” you look down tiredly– angrily, but withdrawn. “but i’m sure there’s a valid reason for why you kill people for a living.”
“i promise there is!”
“there better be.”
there was still doubt in the air, questions to be answered. you weren’t sure if you could trust jungwon anymore, whether this next chapter of your lives would end well, but damn you if you didn’t try to make it work. you loved that man with your life, bounties and all— so when he started speeding down the freeway, cops and enemies hot on his trail, you stuck with him the whole way through.
