feel the 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇

xinyu turned back to the movie again . of course whatever action drama had to be filled with terrible acting as the main character fell and struggled to get out their dying words , gasping for fake breath and making their final moments as cringe inducing as possible . she wondered if she'd looked as pathetic crying over rivers broken , yet perfectly healthy body in the trauma bay as the main characters love interest blubbered on screen . " would that have been you ? " she joked to him .

a  quieter  chuckle  followed.  “  and  yeah.  i  probably  wouldn’t  let  you  out  of  my  sight.  not  because  i  don’t  trust  you,  ”  he  added,  glancing  at  her,  “  but  because  i  don’t  trust  the  world.  or  flat  surfaces.  those  are  clearly  your  enemy.  ”  his  attention  drifted  back  to  the  movie  just  in  time  to  catch  the  dramatic,  overacted  death  scene.  he  winced.  “  god,  that’s  painful,  ”  he  muttered–-  then  caught  her  question  and  snorted.  “  that?  ”  he  nodded  at  the  screen.  “  no  way.  if  that  were  me,  i’d  be  way  less  poetic.  probably  just  complaining  about  how  uncomfortable  the  floor  is  and  asking  if  someone  could  turn  the  lights  down.  ” 

“in this situation it’s not ideal. i’m not some girl you’re trying to impress with your height.” not that she knows if that’s a flex for him or not, she’s generalizing in this moment. maybe it’s because she’s never thought about him more than necessary, or the fact that she doesn’t have many pleasant memories of him, but nari notes the way he seems to stay in his spot, wondering if it’s out of consideration or simple dislike towards her. “you’re too calm about all of this. it’s unsettling.” in contrast, nari’s stressed, nervous, awkward, wishing she could be as easygoing at times like this. it doesn’t help when he meets her eyes and seems so .. nonchalant. “mhmm …” small scoff, follows an eye roll. annoyed, she’s assuming because of her. maybe she should keep him annoyed so he doesn’t fall asleep and accidentally — ah, right. cuddle. “alright, then. i’ll just have to trust you.” slipping under the white covers she pulls them up against her chest, curls spilled over her shoulders. “i don’t move much, either. don’t snore or make noises in general.” she comments, mostly to keep up the appearance of a perfect princess ( even though it seems ridiculous in this situation ). “i hope it’s the same for you,” subtle attempt at keeping him annoyed. her throat falls silent after a while, focusing on the storm in vague attempts at making herself sleepy so that time can pass by faster.

he  let  out  a  quiet  breath  through  his  nose,  something  between  a  scoff  and  a  laugh,  eyes  still  fixed  on  the  ceiling.  “  trust  me,  ”  he  said  lazily,  “  if  i  was  trying  to  impress  you,  i’d  be  doing  a  way  better  job  than…  t h i s.  ”  a  vague  gesture  with  one  hand,  encompassing  the  tiny  bed,  the  storm  rattling  the  windows,  and  the  general  misery  of  the  situation.  “  height’s  kind  of  a  useless  flex  when  there’s  nowhere  to  put  it.  ”  her  next  comment  earned  a  sideways  glance.  he  studied  her  for  a  second,  how  stiff  she  was  under  the  covers,  shoulders  drawn  in  like  she  was  bracing  for  impact.  he  clicked  his  tongue  softly.  “  i’m  calm  because  freaking  out  doesn’t  help,  ”  he  said  simply.  “  one  bed,  bad  weather,  stuck  till  morning.  panicking  won’t  magically  give  us  a  second  mattress.  ”  then,  quieter–-  “  and  i’m  not  gonna  b i t e.  ”  when  she  slid  fully  under  the  covers,  announcing  her  perfect-sleeper  credentials  like  she  was  filing  a  royal  report,  his  mouth  twitched.  “  no  snoring,  no  weird  noises,  ”  he  repeated.  “  wow.  truly  flawless.  ”  he  hummed.  “  i’ll  try  not  to  ruin  your  reputation.  ”  he  shifted  just  enough  to  get  comfortable,  careful  not  to  brush  against  her,  arms  settling  back  into  place.  “  i  don’t  snore,  ”  he  added.  “  at  least…  no  one’s  survived  long  enough  to  complain.  ”  silence  settled  in,  broken  only  by  the  wind  howling  outside.  after  a  moment,  his  voice  came  again–-  lower,  less  sharp.  “  and  for  the  record,  ”  he  said,  eyes  still  closed,  “  i  don’t  hate  you.  hate  is  far  too  strong  of  a  word.  i  just  don’t  like  you  is  all.  ”  though,  he’s  forgotten  the  real  reason  behind  his  dislike,  really.

there isn’t much here, which doesn’t come as a surprise. the shower is small and has only body wash, the sink barely fits her hands and the mirror is somewhat broken — in this moment she does feel like a little princess ( not that she’d ever let him know that ). hopping into the shower nari tries not to think about it; the fact that she’s stuck here with someone she’s not exactly fond of, the fact that said someone refuses to sleep on the floor and the horror of the night ahead only sinks in further !!! ugh, hell. that’s what this is. she isn’t a religious person but this surely is what the bible described. after perhaps thirty or so minutes she steps back out, wearing the same outfit, eyes glancing down at the bed where he’s made himself comfortable; somewhat half-expected him to be petty and claim most of the tiny bed. “you’re too big,” it’s a little mumbled but loud enough to be heard, “i don’t know how we’re both supposed to fit here.” despite the large space he’d left for her it’s still uncomfortable ! but slowly she sits down, palm pressing down against the pillow. “do you fall asleep fast ?” idly she leans her back against the pillow pressed on the wall, stretching her legs over her side of the bed. at least it’s warm, she thinks as the wind picks up, glad the heater works.

river  lifted  his  gaze  when  the  bathroom  door  opened,  eyes  flicking  up  almost  on  instinct  before  he  caught  himself  and  looked  away  again,  feigning  a  casual  interest  in  the  window.  steam  lingered  in  the  air,  curling  around  the  small  room,  and  for  a  moment  he  considered  saying  something  snide–-  something  that  would  keep  their  rhythm  of  bickering  intact.  instead,  he  snorted  softly  at  her  first  comment.  “  too  big,  ”  he  echoed  under  his  breath,  glancing  down  at  himself  like  this  was  new  information.  “  yeah.  tragic  condition.  i’ve  been  told.  ”  when  she  sat,  carefully,  like  the  bed  might  bite  her,  he  shifted  without  being  asked.  there  was  more  space  than  necessary,  really.  his  arm  rested  along  his  own  side,  fingers  curled  loosely,  making  it  obvious  he  wasn’t  about  to  invade  hers.  “  you’re  small,  so  we  fit,  ”  he  said,  quieter  now.  “  we’re  not  gonna  fall  off  and  die.  promise.  ”  her  question  made  him  pause.  he  turned  his  head  just  enough  to  look  at  her  this  time,  expression  less  sharp  than  before,  the  edge  dulled  by  exhaustion  and  the  steady  hum  of  the  heater.  “  depends,  ”  he  answered  honestly.  “  if  i’m  tired?  yeah.  out  fast.  ”  a  beat  passed  before  he  spoke  again.  “  if  i’m  annoyed?  ”  a  faint  huff  of  a  laugh  left  him.  “  takes  a  while.  ”  his  eyes  drifted  back  to  the  ceiling.  “  i  don’t  move  much  when  i  sleep,  if  that’s  what  you’re  worried  about,  ”  he  added,  as  if  reading  between  the  lines.  “  not  a  cuddler.  you’re  safe.  ”  outside,  the  wind  howled  harder  against  the  glass.  inside,  the  room  stayed  warm.

hah, even his breathing is already infuriating enough. she’s not sure why they’re unable to get along but something about him just … vexes her greatly. like that condescending adjective he adds before her actual title — little princess. yes, she’s a literal princess, so what ? years of etiquette shot down the drain around him, rolled eyes and scoffs leaving her parted mouth of annoyance. “it’s the gentleman thing to do,” she starts, crossing her arms over her chest, “but i forgot i’m not in the presence of one.” nari bites back, looking over the bed once again. it’s so small, no way can they both fit ?! but as the snow hits the windows she realizes they have no choice. “fine. do whatever you want but don’t touch me.” and then walking across a mirror she looks down at herself, the pretty but short white dress and frilly socks, there’s no choice but to sleep in them though she decides to at least take off her socks. “ugh, i’m gonna shower.” mumbled, locking the bathroom door behind her.

river  watched  her  storm  off  with  an  expression  that  sat  somewhere  between  disbelief  and  begrudging  amusement.  little  princess,  indeed.  the  door  clicked  shut  behind  her,  the  lock  unmistakably  final,  and  he  let  out  a  slow  breath  he  hadn’t  realized  he  was  holding.  “  yeah,  ”  he  muttered  to  the  empty  room,  rubbing  a  hand  over  the  back  of  his  neck.  “  great  talk.  ”  he  glanced  at  the  bed  again–-  too  small,  just  like  she’d  said–-  and  snorted  under  his  breath.  “  like  i’d  risk  touching  you,  ”  he  added  quietly,  more  to  himself  than  anything  else.  the  edge  in  his  voice  softened  as  he  toed  off  his  shoes,  setting  them  neatly  by  the  wall  despite  himself.  then  took  off  his  hoodie  and  draped  it  over  the  back  of  a  chair.  old  habits  died  hard.  the  sound  of  the  shower  starting  made  him  pause.  steam  would  fog  the  bathroom  mirror  soon,  he  figured,  and  for  a  fleeting  second  he  wondered  if  she  was  still  glaring  at  her  own  reflection,  rehearsing  her  next  verbal  strike.  the  thought  tugged  an  almost-smile  out  of  him.  “  she’s  exhausting,  ”  he  murmured,  stretching  his  arms  overhead.  “  and  somehow  thinks  i’m  the  problem.  ”  he  dropped  onto  the  far  edge  of  the  bed,  deliberately  claiming  as  little  space  as  possible,  eyes  drifting  toward  the  window  where  snow  tapped  softly  against  the  glass.  whatever  cosmic  joke  had  shoved  them  into  the  same  room  tonight  had  a  cruel  sense  of  humor.  still…  he  shook  his  head,  exhaling  through  his  nose.

       upon  both  of  them  entering  her  family  home,  she  takes  note  of  how  politely  river  suddenly  acted  once  inside,  definitely  not  a  side  he  showcased  often  at  their  school.   “ thank  you  ~  ”   speaking  through  a  warm  smile  tracing  painted  tiers,  lifting  the  freshly  opened  can  to  them  and  took  a  sip  of  her  favorite  soft  drink   ;   only  to  have  herself  then  prop  onto  the  marble  counter,  her  foot  going  beneath  the  foot-rest  of  a  bar  stool  nearby,  pulling  it  over  to  him  for  a  place  to  sit.   “ you  haven't   ?   it's  so  good   ...   i've  got  this  weird  fixation, ”   beginning  her  sentence  before  placing  the  soda  can  to  the  side  of  her,  finding  her  phone  to  find  a  picture  of  a  stacked  collection  of  empty  cans.   “ i've  made  it  my  life  mission  to  see  if  i  can  retrieve  all  the  soda  flavors  out  there. ”   soft,  sheepish,  chuckle  emits  from  the  girl  as  she's  aware  it  isn't  quite  the  regular  sort  of  objects  a  woman  her  age  would  be  collecting   —-   many  else  tending  to  buy  blind  boxes  for  cute  figurines  or  keychains,  jiwon  just  being  a  little  bit  different  and  probably  also  why  she  couldn't  quite  get  along  with  these  manicured  nails  but,  had  done  it  for  her  friend  nonetheless.   “ so,  if  you're  a  hongdae  guy  you  don't  have  to  be  shy  about  it  around  me. ”   playful  wink,  tone  of  voice  displaying  she  was  merely  joking  as  male  had  denied  her  earlier  claim  outside. 

⸝⸝ ☾⭒.˚ ⦮ ⦯⋆.˚ he  caught  her  looking,  though,  and  the  corner  of  his  mouth  twitched,  almost  sheepish,  as  if  he’d  been  caught  in  the  act.  old  habits  from  dinners  that  felt  more  like  evaluations  than  meals  still  lingered,  like  ghosts.  “  yeah…  reflex,  ”  he  admitted  quietly,  taking  the  stool  she  dragged  over  and  settling  onto  it,  forearms  resting  loosely  on  his  thighs.  at  the  mention  of  the  soda,  his  attention  shifted  fully  to  her,  curiosity  easy  and  genuine.  he  watched  her  take  a  sip,  then  leaned  in  a  little  as  she  pulled  out  her  phone,  brows  lifting  when  she  showed  him  the  picture.  a  soft  laugh  slipped  out  before  he  could  stop  it.  “  no  way,  ”  he  said,  impressed  rather  than  amused.  “  that’s  actually  kind  of  sick.  in  a  good  way.  ”  he  tilted  his  head,  studying  the  image  again,  then  her.  “  all  the  flavors,  huh?  that’s  commitment.  ”  a  pause  intervened  briefly,  “  you  know,  most  people  collect  stuff  they  n e v e r  use.  at  least  yours  tastes  good.  ”  her  wink  earned  a  low  chuckle  from  him,  eyes  warming  as  he  leaned  back  against  the  counter  beside  her.  “  shy?  whos  said  i’m  being  shy?  ”  he  echoed and  glanced  around  the  space,  then  back  at  her,  tone  dropping  just  a  touch–-  still  playful,  but  sincere.  “  i  like  that  you’re  a  little  different.  ”  a  snort  followed.  “  makes  me  feel  like  i  don’t  have  to  hide  parts  of  myself  either.  ”

he didn't seem that way , either . just a rebelled young man trying to break his family's expectations while doing it as respectable as he could , but still have his fun . " surely playing around with a basketball and chopping your hair is a look , but ultimately ? it wouldn't get you in any trouble back home . you'd be considered unique and special . actually , it would get you better press so long as you behaved ... you don't strike me as someone who's unnecessarily cruel . just bold . " she smiled again as she shifted her glass in to her other hand , offering it out to kaien as if she expected him to guide her over to his family . " i can see if my charms work on your family , if you'd like . "

her  last  words  caught  him  slightly  off  guard–-  not  enough  to  show,  but  enough  that  his  eyebrows  lifted  as  she  offered  her  glass.  he  studied  her  for  a  moment,  then  chuckled  softly.  “  you  really  don’t  hesitate,  do  you?  ”  he  took  her  hand  instead  of  the  glass,  grip  warm  and  steady.  “  alright,  hotel  heiress.  let’s  see  how  strong  those  charms  are.  ”  a  glance  toward  the  room,  then  back  to  her,  eyes  bright  with  something  playful.  “  just  don’t  be  surprised  if  they  like  you  a  little  too  much.  ”

all she can hear is the beating of her own heart, suddenly too conscious of everything: from her own irregular breathing to the way she’s standing so close to him, noting his smile and how calm he seems in this moment. maybe it’s just her ? maybe she’s overreacting ?? but even the way his thumb grazes the skin across her jaw sends sparks down the pith of her veins, something fluttering in her stomach all new and uncomfortable. “p-partly ??” there’s something akin to indignation in her voice, like kissing shouldn’t be this casual or for such a reason but it’s weak, and just .. more embarrassed than anything else. she wants to complain, to put up some wall between them but then the words that follow drown her own and she looks up to meet his gaze, softer than how she’s looked at him in the past. changed, more vulnerable and naive, everything she hates to show anyone. and for the first time ever .. tokki is speechless. it’s really quite an accomplishment since she always has something to say but right now her mind is blank, unable to form a sentence. it’s not until his last words that she bites down on her lower lip, thinking .. she didn’t dislike it. the warmth of his lips still lingers against the gloss of hers, bringing her fingers up against it as she lowers her gaze. and with a small voice and racing pulse, tokki shakes her head. “it’s not like .. i didn’t like it.” oh god, she’s about to die. “but .. this kind of thing .. shouldn’t be done casually, no .. ? like … with your lover only or something …” kill her please.

his  thumb  stilled  against  her  jaw.  “  hey,  ”  he  murmured,  quieter  now,  the  teasing  edge  gone  entirely.  he  searched  her  face,  really  looked  at  her  this  time,  at  the  way  she  wouldn’t  quite  meet  his  eyes,  at  how  she  was  holding  herself  together  by  sheer  will.  a  breath  slipped  out  of  him,  slow  and  steady.  “  wait.  ”  realization  settled  heavy  in  his  chest  and  with  it,  a  sharp,  unexpected  guilt.  “  …that  was  your  first  kiss,  wasn’t  it?  ”  he  let  his  hand  drop  immediately,  like  he  was  afraid  even  that  gentle  touch  might  be  too  much  now.  his  other  hand  came  up  instead,  rubbing  the  back  of  his  neck,  sheepish  in  a  way  he  almost  never  was.  “  i–-  shit.  tokki,  i  didn’t  mean  to–-  ”  he  huffed  a  quiet  laugh,  more  embarrassed  than  amused.  “  i  wasn’t  trying  to  make  it  feel…  small.  or  casual  like  it  didn’t  matter.  ”  his  gaze  softened  when  he  looked  back  at  her,  something  earnest  and  warm  settling  there.  he  hesitated,  then  added  gently,  “  you’re  not  wrong,  by  the  way.  it  doesn’t  have  to  be  casual.  it  can  mean  whatever  you  want  it  to  mean.  ”  a  small,  crooked  smile  tugged  at  his  lips.  “  and  if  you  want  me  to  pretend  it  didn’t  happen,  i  can  do  that  too.  ”  he  held  her  gaze,  steady  and  open.  “  just–-  don’t  …  ”  he  felt  s t u p i d,  stumbling  over  his  own  words.

she worries. she’s paranoid. strict on herself. there’s no room for mistakes in tokki’s book, no room for failure or hesitation so when she’d made a mistake earlier she couldn’t help herself. a litany of why’s and how’s, concerns that he’d think less of her and therefore she’d need to somehow amend for it all with her words alone. she hadn’t even paid attention when he stepped closer, her mind racing and her fingers digging into her palms — until river’s forcing her to look up, opening her mouth to try and stop any possible words of pity and kindness to slip past him — instead she vaguely watches as he leans in and captures the noise drowning her brain. it’s quiet suddenly, eyes wide and hazel-rose that flutter with shock because, well, this is her first kiss ever. she has no time to process it and when he pulls back she’s left … dumbfound ? stupefied ? and severely blushing, cotton-candy pink that matches her hair and the loud beating of her soft heart. “w-w-what was that for .. ???” you talk a lot, he says, realizing her hand had relaxed at her side. “did you do that to shut me up ?!” is that what people do ? her expression is more innocent than she’d probably care to admit but .. this has never happened to her before.

river  froze  for  half  a  heartbeat  when  he  pulled  back–-  long  enough  to  register  the  way  her  eyes  were  wide,  unfocused,  like  the  world  had  tipped  sideways  without  warning.  her  blush  spread  fast,  soft  and  vivid,  and  it  hit  him  all  at  once  what  he’d  just  done.  then  she  spoke,  flustered  and  breathless,  and  that  was  it.  he  smiled.  not  the  teasing  grin  he  wore  so  easily,  but  something  quieter.  fond.  his  thumb  brushed  along  her  jaw  where  he  was  still  holding  her  face,  grounding  her  instead  of  letting  her  spiral  again.  “  hey,  ”  he  murmured,  voice  low,  gentle.  “  you’re  okay.  ”  at  her  question,  he  let  out  a  soft  huff  of  a  laugh.  “  partly,  ”  he  admitted,  unapologetic,  eyes  warm  as  they  searched  hers,  “  yeah.  you  were  about  to  talk  yourself  into  knots.  ”  his  thumb  traced  a  small  circle,  slow  and  soothing.  then,  quieter–-  honest  in  a  way  that  made  his  chest  feel  strangely  bare.  “  and  partly  because  i  wanted  to.  ”  he  tilted  his  head  just  a  little.  “  you  get  stuck  in  your  head,  ”  he  added  softly.  “  sometimes  you  need  something  r e a l  to  pull  you  back  out.  ”  a  soft  pause  intervened.  “  if  …  you  didn’t  like  that,  ”  he  said  carefully,  still  playful  but  sincere  beneath  it,  “  you  can  tell  me.  i  won’t  do  it  again.  ”  but  the  way  he  stayed  close–-  unrushed,  made  it  clear  he  hoped  he  wouldn’t  have  to.