#gcholdtrops

⠀⠀⠀⊹ ࣪ ˖⠀⠀⠀❛ i don't need reminders on how you don't feel the same. ❜

needs  to  find  a  way  to  pull  him  back  into  her  life,  and  a  calculated  crisis  is  the  only  logical  tool  left  in  her  arsenal.  staging  an  emergency  required  little  effort,  just  a  purposeful  request  to  the  clinic  staff  to  dial  his  number  instead  of  the  current  contact  on  her  file.  drops  her  hands  into  her  lap  when  he  finally  arrives  at  the  hospital,  watching  him  approach  the  cot  with  a  carefully  measured  look  of  vulnerability. “ look,  i’m  sorry,  i  forgot  to  update  my  emergency  contact, ”  she  says,  her  voice  purposedly softened.  lifts  her  chin  to  meet  his  eyes,  letting  the  silence  stretch  between  them  for  a  second  before  she  continues.  “ can  you  at  least  give  me  a  ride  back  to  my  place ?  i  don’t  think  i  can  drive,  and  i  can’t  take  a  cab  because...  well,  i  don’t  want  a  complete  stranger  carrying  me. ”  shifts  her  weight  against  the  thin  mattress,  raising  her  wrapped,  purposely  injured  foot  just  enough  to  emphasize  the  splint.  notices  the  hesitation  in  the  line  of  his  jaw  and  lets  her  mouth  turn  down  into  a  slight  pout.  “ don’t  be  so  heartless. ”

the  problem  with  lying  about  experience  is  that  the  body  usually  tells  the  truth  before  the  mouth  can  finish  the  sentence.  this  boy  doesn’t  know  how.  at  least  not  in  the  manner  that  they  talk  about  in  the  hallways  or  behind  the  bleachers.  tries  to  lock  his  jaw  into  a  confident  line,  looking  away  to  focus  on  a  random  knot  in  the  wallboards.  “ why  would  i  need  to  practice.  its  not  like  i  will  kiss  her  on  the  first  date. ” he pauses. “ right ? i don't need to kiss her. ”

Another night, first pizza delivery of the night. Oddly, Sangmin enjoys his job. The payment is shitty, but at least he gets to drive around, has a good reason to drive faster than the speed limit allows, and gets tips once in a while. Sure, there are moments when customers complain when the delivery hasn't been as fast as they have wanted to, but it's not really his fault if the traffic is bad. In this case, there was no traffic. It's late into the evening, so the traffic has calmed down, and he doesn't have to hurry with deliveries. With a warm box of pizza in his hand, he rings the doorbell, and the waiting game begins.

steps  into  his  personal  space. begins  to  smooth  down  the  wrinkled  fabric  of  his  sleeve.  “ before  people  can  like  your  art,  they  need  to  like  you  first,  and  branding  is  everything.  don't  you  know  that ? ”  the  exact  mantra  her  parents  had  carved  into  her  before  she  was  old  enough  to  understand.   “ maybe  you  should  look  more  mysterious.  people  like  that, ”  hand  reaching  up  to  ruffle  the  thick  strands  of  his  hair.  lets  her  palms  linger  against  the  warm  skin  of  his  cheeks,  her  thumb  catching  the  small  line  of  his  jaw  to  hold  his  focus  entirely.  “ make-up.  how  do  you  feel  if  we  make  you  look  a  little  more  tired ?  and  during  the  video  you  shouldn't  smile,  okay ?  be  very — ”  she  stops  her  hands,  her  features  flattening  into  a  mock  expression  of  cold  indifference  as  she  drops  her  pitch  into  a  flat,  raspy  whisper.  “ nonchalant  and  cool. ”  the  performance  lasts  for  only  a  second  before  a  bright,  involuntary  giggle  breaks  through  her  defenses,  her  fingers  dropping  from  his  chin.  “ got  it ?  do  you  have  other  clothes?  can  i  go  through  your  stuff  and  see  what  we're  working  with ? ”

takes  a  deliberate  step  backward  until  her  spine  meets  the  wall,  her  chin  rising  to  stay  clear  of  his  hands.   “ i’m  not  kissing  you  here.  i’m  not  doing  anything  with  you  here, ”  voice  low  and  steady  despite  the  fast,  shallow  rhythm  of  her  breath  against  the  collar  of  her  shirt.  she  locks  her  elbows  against  her  ribs,  keeping  her  eyes  fixed  on  his  forehead  to  avoid  the  invitation  in  his  eyes. 

“ you  could  have  just  said  get  lost  and  i  would  have, ”  he  adds,  the  words  falling  out  flat  and  smooth  despite  the  massive,  obvious  lie  sitting  right  at  the  center  of  the  sentence.  they  both  know  she  has  spent  the  past few weeks saying  exactly  that  in  every  format  the  words  allow  and  he  has  simply  ignored  it. showing  up  on  her  porch  again  and  again  like  an  unpaid  bill.  his desperation  weighed  more  than  his  pride .  he  leans  his  head  back  against  the  molding,  letting  his  face  twist  into  another  simulated  spasm  of  agony  as  he  holds  the  finger  up  between  them.  “ it  hurts  so  bad.  if  i  lose  my  finger,  i’ll  sue  you. ”

' sorry , weddings always get me a little emotional , ' she laughs shyly when a handkerchief is suddenly handed to her , bright and watery doe-eyes suddenly coming back into focus , head tilting to look up at her plus one a little sheepishly . she's only been to a handful of weddings over the years , but there's something about them that always makes her heart bloom , a hopeful reminder that one day she might be the one walking down the aisle too . she takes the handkerchief and dabs at her eyes , sniffling slightly , giggling at her own expense , ' i'm usually more fun at these kinds of things !! ' another sweet laugh escapes her , all bright and bubbly like the mimosas half the wedding party had been downing , ' i can make it up to you with a dance ? '