SHE KNOWS BETTER THAN to feel sorry for herself. she has already spent far too many years cursing her own existence, watching those far better off than her walk in and out of this establishment, knowing she will never be fortunate enough to leave. it is foolish to hold onto hope otherwise, and yet hope is the one thing that keeps her going: the hope that samuel may visit again, that he may stay longer this time, that he'll think of her when he leaves. everything else has been a rather small price to pay since he started coming around to her chambers, staying long into the morning hours — or at the very least until her next visitor arrives. she is always shameful when she watches him leave, knowing she will never fit into that world. and even if she did, he is young and handsome, and she has no doubts that women far superior to her already have their heart set on him. to them she is not competition. to them she may not even exist at all. « there is no use, my lord. he will be back in the morrow, » she counters sadly, but offers him a reassuring smile, the beating of his heart beneath her touch grounding her in this very moment. his question catches her off guard — no one has ever asked her this before. for a moment all she can do is stare incredulously, mouth slightly agape, before she melts completely by this request. it is becoming increasingly harder to believe he holds no affection for her, but it is also hopeless to believe he does. « nothing would please me more, my lord, » she beams at him, turning to face him completely. « you may always kiss me. whenever it pleases you. »