lottie's thoughts

Thank God it’s Friday. It had been a hard day. Your boss was being a pain in the ass, always criticizing your work and letting you know how much better your co-workers were. Except for your boss, everyone in the office was nice; they had already told you to ignore this man and focus on your excellent work; but it was very difficult for you.  At least you had Joel, your husband.

You arrive home at 7:00 PM. You usually have dinner at work, but this time you weren't in the mood to stand up and walk in front of your boss to reach the office’s kitchen so you waited until home to eat with Joel. 

“Hey,” Joel says when you walk through the door “How was your day?”

You drop your bag, dejected. “Terrible,” you say with a shaky voice. 

Joel gets up from his seat and reaches for you. “That dumbshit boss again?” You nod while he wraps his arms around you “Why don’t you go take a bath? I’ll join you in a minute,” he whispers in your ear. The brush of his beard against your ear makes you shiver, in that moment you are at home. He’d begun to feel like home.  

You go to the bathroom and turn on the hot water while undressing. By the time the tub is full and you’re in, Joel knocks on the door and he comes in with your pajamas. He takes off his shirt and he gets into the tub, right behind you. 

Joel starts to leave soft kisses on your back, not in a sexual way —­ ­he knows you’re not in the mood, but in a soft one. The only thing you can do is close your eyes and melt into his touch, letting him loop his arms around your shoulders. “Relax, baby. I’ve got you” 

You can feel how your shoulders relax automatically the combination of Joel’s kisses and hot water stuns you after the long day. He reaches the shower head and dampens your hair, then you can notice how Joel puts some shampoo on your scalp and starts massaging all your head. You lean your head back, letting him rinse the soap away. Now that you feel completely safe, the boss problem seems very far away. 

“Thank you,” you mutter. 

Joel seems surprised “For what?”

“For this.”

“Looking after you?” he asks, with a soft laugh.

You’ve been on the road for about half an hour when Joel pulls onto the highway entrance of a gas station. He stops the car next to the gas pump and looks at you, giving little taps to the wheel.

“I’m gonna get some gas,” he says with a deep voice “won’t take long.”

You nod, stretching up in your seat and using the time to scroll in your phone a bit. Joel gets out of the car and walks towards the convenience store after pumping the gas.

Some minutes later, he opens the door with ease and gets inside, dropping in your lap a bag of chips and your favorite chocolate, you don’t remember ever telling him about it.

You look at the goodies and then at Joel, who’s buckling up like he didn’t do anything. 

“What’s this for?” you ask with a silly smile.

“So you shut up and stop asking where we’re going,” he answers, trying not to smile as he starts the car “eat it now before it melts.”

There’s still an hour or so ahead of you, so you decide to spend the time doing what you like the most: annoying Joel. 

“Joel,” you call.

“Mhm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“‘Course.”

“If you were a mermaid, what color would your tail be?”

He turns his head slowly to look at you with a dead stare. “What?”

“Your tail, if you were a mermaid.”

“I heard you.” his attention goes back to the road.

“Then answer.”

“Don’t know much ‘bout mermaids.”

“Just pick a color, Joel.”

“Blue?” he finally answers.

“Oh, that’s cute, you’d have your matching shell bra and all.”

He looks briefly at you, shaking his head before looking away again.

You smile, knowing you have plenty of questions waiting to be asked. “Would you pick me from the ground if I were a flower?”

“Yeah, whatever. I’d put you in a jar in my living room.”

“Oh.” you pretend to be hurt. “So you want me to rot and die away from my flower family”

“You’re impossible,” he says.

“Would you kiss a man to save my life?”

“Why would that ever be a condition for nothing?” he asks, starting to lose it.

“I don’t know, but I’m being held at gunpoint and you have to kiss a man to stop it. Would you?”

“I guess.” he shrugs.

“Has to be passionate, though. Can’t just leave a peck.”

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“It’s fun,” you answer with a wide smile. “One more question.”

His silence is your sign to go ahead, you’ve learnt that with time. “Would you still do it if you had to fuck Karen to save me?” the sound of her name in your mouth makes your guts wrench.

“Jesus…” he looks at you concerned, wondering why you brought her up. After some hesitation, he speaks. “You’re gonna be mad at me no matter what I say.”

“Probably.”

“Baby, I don’t know, I’d do anything for you so I guess option one. Even though just thinking about it makes me wanna throw up.” He’s being careful with his words, trying to not mess it up, but you outsmart him. 

“So you think I’m not capable of saving myself?”

He turns his head to look at you in complete shock now, not believing your ability to tease him so well. After his eyes are back on the road again, he says “that mouth needs some fixin’, but we’ll do something about it later, don't worry.”

You chuckle at his threat. The car ride goes flying after that, you listen to music and keep talking — no more questions, though. When the sky starts to turn orange, the landscape changes and the scent of sea salt fills the air, Joel pulls over a private entrance full of palm trees until he fully stops the car.

When you see where you are, you lose your breath.

It’s an amazing house, the type of house you only see in magazines or movies about rich people. Modern style with big floor-to-ceiling windows and spotless white walls. The best thing is that it’s right on the beach, literally, the sand begins where the terrace ends. The sound of waves breaking not so far away and the squawk of seagulls is the only sound. 

“Fuck, Joel…” you mutter, open mouthed, not able to look away from the house.

He doesn’t say anything, just turns off the engine and gets out of the truck. You follow him immediately, standing in front of the house amazed. 

Joel walks towards the backseats to start retrieving your stuff. You watch him out of the corner of your eyes and then the house again, something is off. 

“Hey.” You get closer to him, crossing your arms. “How the fuck could you afford this?”

He grabs your backpack, his own and your purse with an unfazed ease. He laughs, looking you in the eye. “Big client,” he says. “Wants to change a few things, I got the project and they offered me to stay while I work since it’s far and all that”

“And they let you bring me?” you ask, still skeptical.

Joel starts to make his way to the front door ahead of you. “Well… Didn’t really ask ‘bout it.”

You follow him with fast steps as he puts the key in the keyhole. “Mmm, lying at work for me. I like it.”

“Ain’t lying, just didn’t tell.” He opens the door and steps aside to let you in first “Come on, get in,” he says, spanking your ass slightly so you get inside. 

You get upstairs and find the master bedroom, which is practically as big as your living room and has an enormous bed — Alaskan king you guess, with amazing ocean views. 

Joel lets your backpack resting on the bed and throws his on the floor. “I’m gonna take a look downstairs,” he says, turning around. “Go through your bag if you want.”

As soon as he’s gone you open your bag. Even though you tried to spy him through your mirror, you want to see  what exactly he brought. 

You start to search trough your clothes.You see a couple dresses, shorts, bikinis, underwear — only thongs, and a couple of his tees you’re sure he wants you to keep. You find the red bikini you saw him put inside through the mirror. You take it out and observe it. “So clever, Miller,” you murmur, shaking your head. 

You take off your clothes quickly, hyped to take a swim, and you put the red bikini on with a beige beach dress. When you get downstairs, you find him looking inside the fridge. “Are we going to the beach or not?” you ask, leaning on your side on the doorframe with a sly mile. 

Joel turns and looks you up and down, smirking. He knows damn well what you're wearing underneath and he loves it. “Let me get changed first”

He doesn’t take long. You two walk out by the backdoor, as soon as your feet touch the sand you notice it’s still warm by the afternoon sun, but it’s starting to cool off.

You stop walking until you reach the shore, resting your stuff on the sand. You can’t wait any longer so you pull your dress off and throw it away with the rest of the stuff, being left in your bikini. Joel stops dead, crossing his arms as he watches you with what looks like a smile, but doesn’t get inside the water. 

“You’re not gonna swim with me?” you ask, walking backwards so you can see his face.

“Not a chance,” he says. “That must be cold as fuck. View’s better from here anyways.”

“You’re soooo boring.”

You get inside the water without second guessing. He’s right, it’s cold, but it feels nice, You start to get down slowly. Joel is still standing there, with his dark blue trunks and arms crossed playing his “tough guy that doesn’t like the beach” role. 

You smile, knowing perfectly how to make him change his opinion. 

Now that the sun is almost gone and there's nobody around, you turn around and start undoing the knot of your top, taking it off completely. Before you turn around again, you sink until the water reaches your shoulders, giving Joel a playful smile on the way. He observes you with attention from the sand.

When you’re fully facing him, you realize he’s not smiling anymore but walking to you. “You’re gonna kill me one of these days,” he says with a deep voice. 

You don’t have to wait a second longer. He forgets about the temperature and gets closer to you with confident steps. 

You try to swim away from him, but you can’t stop laughing and that makes your legs weaker, letting him get you. His broad and steady hands grab you by your waist under the surface, bringing you closer to him. Joel’s shoulders are also under the water. Instinctively, you wrap your legs around his waist, ending up a little taller than him like this but still having most of your body hidden under water.

Joel pulls you closer, if that’s even possible, and hugs you tightly. Still with the bikini in your hand, you wrap your arms around his neck and give him a cheeky smile. “See? Wasn’t that cold.”

He snorts, but can’t hide a small smile forming on his lips. “You’re a public hazard,” he mutters. His hands grip your waist. 

You don’t have time to answer. Joel starts to lower his head and leaves a trail of wet kisses along your collarbone, getting lower down your chest. Between kisses, he looks up to meet your gaze, rushing your heart rate. The brush of his beard on your wet skin gives you goosebumps and sends shivers down your spine. 

You let out a shaky sigh and open up your legs more for him, making your bodies fit perfectly and grinding against him boldly. Joel smiles. He got what he was searching for. 

You don’t have time to get your breath back when he places a hand on your lower back, making sure you don’t go anywhere, while he rushes the other up, trapping one of your breasts. 

Joel gets his head lower, still staring deeply at your eyes, and his mouth finds your nipple, hardened by the cold. He sucks and bites it softly, switching between his lips and licks that make your back arch and your nails dig on his skin.

He’s watching you enjoy his ministrations as he switches to your other breast, repeating the process. He bites and sucks, leaving marks you know won’t disappear in a couple days. He doesn’t leave the previous one unattended, his hand does all the work giving a gentle massage. You think you could die happily right now. 

In the middle of all this, you can easily feel he’s getting hard under his trunks. It’s being impossible to ignore. With steady hands on his nape, you move your hips  gently, creating a friction that’s making you both pant.

Joel stops licking your nipple and grunts roughly. “You’re helpless.”

You completely ignore him. Joel runs a hand down your thigh until he riches the small, drenched, bottom. He hooks the down part with his finger and makes space with urgency. 

His hand doesn’t take long to reach between your legs. As soon as his fingers make contact with your sensitive bud under the water, you let out a moan and your hips move unwillingly, searching for more. He’s following a slow, punishing pace, and you know it’s payback, for making him get inside the cold water. You try to rush it up, but Joel’s hand on your lower back makes it impossible, pressing you more and impeding your movements. 

He clicks his tongue and talks in almost a whisper “Don’t be impatient, baby.”

Your head rolls back and you snort in desperation. He’s gonna drive you crazy. 

When he’s finally done teasing you and has his back and shoulders covered in claw marks, Joel pulls down his trunks enough to free his hard and warm cock. 

He slightly lifts you by your hips with both of his hands, not having to make an effort, to place himself on your entrance. 

Joel doesn’t wait any more. He thrusts upwards, making his way inside without hesitation. Any other day he would’ve worked you open with his fingers before using his cock, but this is different, this is desperate. You gasp in his ear when you feel the stretch. He buries his face in your neck, breathing raggedly while he hugs you with strength, giving you your time to get used to his size. After a couple seconds, you encourage him to keep going and he obliges, thrusting you slowly and deeply. 

Now the sun is completely gone and you’re surrounded by darkness. It would creep you out if you didn’t have Joel’s cock in your deep inside. You can’t stop thinking about his lips, so you grab his face to kiss him and get his attention. When he pulls his face away, he looks at you with eyes full of lust. “Fuck,” he mutters with a broken voice. “You’re making me lose my mind.”

You answer with a muffled moan, even though you’re alone you don’t want to draw attention and be caught. It’s being difficult for you to handle the angle, being where you are it’s making it harder than other times with him. You’ve been like that for a while when you start to get a bit overwhelmed. “Joel.” you gasp “I can't, I'm being for real, I’m gonna pass out.”

“You’re doing so good for me, don’t quit now.” Right after saying that, he lowers his hands from your hips to the back of your knees. He pulls them up, completely changing the angle and opening you wider. Then, he wraps his arms tightly around your back and thrusts, bottoming out in one go. He grunts as he hits your cervix and you feel his balls slap your ass.

This new position is so good and your head falls back, but you bite your lip quickly to try and stop the noise swallowing your scream. The beach is deserted, but you can still be heard. 

Joel realizes what you’re doing and grabs your chin to make you look at him. “Don’t,” he orders you. “Want to hear you,” he pants. “Need to hear you.”

 You do as you’re told, your mind is fogged, you can’t be bratty and ignore him right now. You let the first loud moan out and Joel’s reaction is fast, almost feral. He thrusts you over and over again, burying himself to the hilt, making you moan and pant even more. The constant rubbing on your clit and his thrust are making you feel your orgasm pool in your abdomen and, with a last moan, you come undone.

Your whole body tenses and, by instinct, you close your legs hard, trapping him in between while you come down from your high.

Seems like that was the only thing he needed to cum, because the next thrusts are brutal, fast and deep, followed by some slower and floppier, he’s so close. His whole body relaxes and he pulls you tighter on his arms, your chests are pressed against the other and his head finds his place on the crook of your neck again as you feel how he spills inside you. 

After catching your breaths, you say “That was… Interesting.”

“That’s the best you can come up with?” he tilts his head.

“Can’t think properly when I’m still shaking.”

He shakes his head with a smirk and grabs your hips to lift you up a little and free his softening cock, making you gasp with your hands still around his neck. 

“Hate when you do that,” you complain.

“Do what?”

“Pull out, feels so empty.”

“Poor baby,” he mocks. You pout in response.  “We should head out now, before you catch a cold.”

“Don’t think I can walk right now.”

“Didn’t say you had to walk.” He gets on his haunches to stand. “Hold on tight.”

He gets up pretending his body doesn’t hurt, but you know he’s aching right now. You’ll take care of that later. For now, you rest your forehead on his shoulder, pressing your bare chest against his. He squats slightly to grab your stuff from the sand and even though you offer your help, he insists it’s not necessary. 

You run a hand down his arm, grabbing muscle and leaving a kiss on his neck. “You’re so strong.”

“Sweetheart, stop it now before you make me hard again, don’t think you can handle another round.”

You giggle. “Boring.” 

“Still have to do something with that mouth of yours.”

“You love my mouth.”

“Damn right I do.”

He brings you inside but doesn’t let you on the floor until you’re both in the master bedroom’s bathroom. It’s big enough to match the room, with a shower and a bathtub, something you’ve only seen in movies. Joel is starting to turn on the shower when you have a better idea.

“Wait,” you say. “There’s a bathtub.”

“There is one, yeah.”

“So why not use it?” you approach it, sitting on the edge.

“Baby I’m hungry, wanna shower quick.”

You roll your eyes at him. “Fine. But you’re not escaping it.” You go outside the bathroom. 

“Where you going?” he asks.

“To get us clothes, unless you wanna stay naked which I’d appreciate but might be weird.”

You put on an old, worn out tee of Joel that he sneaked in your bag and underwear, he does the same. As you walk down the stairs, he says “there’s not much food, we should order some.”

“That sounds great.”

And so you do.

Thanks for reading :)

— Aliens

— Angel / Cherub

Angel Numbers

— Arrows

— Art Deco

Blue Version

— Art Nouveau

Part Two

— Artist/Crafts

— Beige Daggers

— Blue & Orange Feathers

— Blood

— Books / Reading

— Bows/Lace (pink/blue/yellow)

— Bubbles

— Cameras/Photography

— Camping / Summer Camp

— Car/Roadtrip

— Casino / Cards

Part 2

— Celtic

— Chain / Barbed Wire

— Chess Pieces / Card Suits

— Coffee / Cigarettes

— Cottagecore / Dark Academia

Part 2

— Cowboy

Part 2

Dark

Space

Christmas

Suns/Horses

— Cute Pastel

— Cybercore | Pink

Hot Pink

Green/Black

Blue/Orange

Teal

Pink/Orange/Blue/Purple

— Daggers

— Eclipse

— Egyptian

Pastel Version

— iOS Emojis

Part 2

— Fairy Lights

— Fantasy Weapons

— Forest

— Gems & Pearls

— Goblincore

— Greek

— Heartbeat Dividers

— Kinktober (18+)

— Music Notes

Pastel Blue

—Nintendo

— Ocean

Part 2

Part 3

Seashells

— Off-Center Dividers

— Paper Airplanes

— Paper Textures

— Pink/Coquette

Blue & Purple

Pink Lace

— Pirate/Mermaid

— Red/Black Scroll Work

Silver/Gold

— Red Riding Hood

— Rings (Engagement/Christmas)

— Royalty

Part 2

— Skeleton/Skull

Grey/White

— Smutty | Pastel

— Spooky Red / Deer

— Stained Glass

— Text Messages

— Time

— Vampires

Royalty

— Viking

— Vintage Telephone

— Weapons

— Weddings

— Witchy

— Werewolves

— Windows/Webcore

Part 2

Part 3

— Writing/Academia

After a long day at your 9 to 5 corporate work the only thing you needed the most was to take off your office clothes and change into your comfy pajamas, soft cotton pants and a worn out tee, maybe Joel’s.

You pulled the key out of the keyhole and twisted the doorknob to get inside your empty house, dropping your purse on the floor and taking off your heels. You’ll pick them up later, now first things first. 

You headed upstairs with tired feet, eager to finally rest after a long week. As you changed into your comfies you thought about how a couple years ago Fridays meant going out until the clubs closed drinking and eating shitty food, now Fridays meant homemade meals and movie night with Joel, your boyfriend. He felt too old to be calling you girlfriend, even older to call himself a boyfriend, so he would refer to you as my girl, my wife, or basically just your name when talking to others about you. 

When you were about to leave the room you saw the book you’ve been putting off for weeks resting on your nightstand, so you took it and made your way downstairs, the couch calling your name. You sunk in, resting your head on a cushion and starting the book. A few pages in, your eyes started to feel heavy and without realizing it, you fell asleep. 

The sound of the front door opening woke you up around an hour later, Joel was back from work.

“I’m home!” he shouted, stopping when she saw you. “Oh shit sorry, didn’t know you were asleep. Did I wake you?”

“Don’t worry, I was about to wake up.” you yawned.

He picked up your heels and purse from the floor, where you left them, and put them aside. He placed the purse in the coat rack and the shoes in the shoe cabinet so you didn’t have to. 

You took a second to look at him, and God, he looked hot. He was a bit sweaty, work clothes on, paint splatters all over his arms and that damn tool belt. It was a pity to you that he took it off. 

“I’m gonna take a shower.” he let you know as he went straight upstairs.

“Mhmm,” you mumbled, not sure about if he heard it but too tired to say it again louder. 

Fifteen minutes later Joel was back in the living room, only wearing sleep pants and hair still wet. He walked towards you and sat on the couch, placing your legs to rest on his lap. You thought he looked even hotter.

“Long day at work?” he asked, caressing your thigh with the palm of his hand. 

“Long week at work,” you corrected, closing your eyes again.

You stayed like that for a while, not even bothering with small talk. Just Joel and you resting your eyes together now that it was finally Friday. You were starting to feel your eyelids heavy again when Joel broke the silence. 

“We should make some dinner, how does that sound, huh?” he said with a tired voice.

“Can’t we order take out?” you asked, getting comfier on the couch.

“Baby, we’re gonna end up paying for their kids' college if we keep ordering that much.”

You snorted, clearly not wanting to move, but you were hungry too so making dinner didn’t sound that bad. 

“Up.” Joel patted your thigh, getting up from the couch as you lifted your legs. 

You got up after him, making your way to the kitchen. Joel walked behind you, staring shamelessly at your body.

He loved seeing you in clothes like that, some sweats, an oversized tee and messy hair. You had lots of revealing clothes he enjoyed seeing you wear, of course, but nothing could compare to the stuff you wore around the house. He always got off on seeing you wearing those clothes, and that was what was happening in that moment. 

Joel hugged you from behind tightly, breathing you in. 

“We’re not getting any food done if you start like this,” you complained, not being bothered, but wanting to tease him.

“Stop flirting then.” he bit your lobe before going back to business like he didn’t do anything. 

“I’m not flirting!” you laughed, watching him getting ground beef out of the fridge. 

“Yes you are, I come home and I find you all sexy wearing that.” he pointed at your outfit with his chin.

“Joel, this is literally the most anti-sexy outfit ever.” you watched him get the tortillas out of the pantry. Tacos it is then you thought.

He shrugged and put the pan on the stove, starting to toss the meat in. You grabbed the spatula out of the drawer and took his place at the stove breaking up the ground beef. He got the cutting board and started chopping onions. 

You were seasoning the meat when Joel walked behind you to grab the tomatoes that were next to you drying on the drainboard, but as he passed by, you felt him brushing himself against you. Your kitchen wasn’t very big, but he definitely had enough space to walk past easily. He was teasing you discreetly, using actions instead of words to show you he was in the mood like he always did. 

You ignored it, wanting to know how far he could make it. 

Tomatoes chopped, he repeated his modus operandi. This time sliding a hand around your waist as he reached for the lettuce. You smirked to yourself, enjoying his eagerness. 

“Do you want something, Joel?” you turned to face him and not so surprisingly, you found out he was already half hard under his pants. 

He got closer, pressing you against the counter and letting you feel his growing hard on. “I don’t know, you tell me.”

“I think it’s very obvious,” you said, moving your hips to get some friction as he rinsed his hands on the sink.

“You think so?” he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and started to kiss the empty space on your neck. You gasped at the sensation.

“Joel, the meat,” you panted as he bit your flesh “it’s gonna burn.”

“Then make it quick.” he stepped away, placing his hands on your waist to start to turn you around “bend over, darling.”

You obliged, not questioning the fact of doing it right and then in your taco smelling kitchen. 

He pressed his palm against your back to get your ass up higher and lined better with him, then he hooked a finger on the waistband of your pants to pull them down. You were left in your panties, sweats hanging on your knees. 

Joel used his foot to part your legs wider and palmed your ass with his broad hands, pressing his clothed erection against you to tease you. 

“I thought you said quick,” you puffed, dying of expectation. He laughed at your desperation and pulled your panties down, taking a second to stare at the wet spot you formed.

“Already dripping,” he said and then spanked you slightly. He pulled down his own pants, freeing his leaking and fully hard cock. Joel never bothered with underwear around the house. 

He grabbed his cock by the base and lined it with your entrance, hoping you could take it without foreplay. Quickies were often on your daily basis, you both had a busy life and little to no time, so bending over the kitchen counter or against the bathroom sink worked perfectly fine, even though it was harder for you to adjust to him at first. 

You moved your hips back, urging him inside and gasped when the tip started to stretch you open. He kept going in, soothing your lower back as he pushed inside.

“So tight,” he grunted “that’s it, nice and slow.”

You crossed your arms under your head for support as he sped up his pace. It hurt at first, but as soon as his thrusts became harder it turned into burning pleasure. Eventually you adjusted to his girth and he could finally bottom out, making you both moan and gasp. In other circumstances he would tease you, dragging out completely and pushing back in slowly, but this was fast and desperate. 

Joel noticed you clenching around his length, he could feel himself getting closer to the edge, finally catching some release after a long deprived week. To help you out he slid a hand between your legs, rubbing your clit in circles just like you liked to ease you. You moaned and panted as his movements became sloppier.

“Joel, I’m gonna come,” you managed to say.

“Me too, baby. Come with me.”

A couple more thrusts and pants later you came undone. Joel didn’t take longer either, spilling inside you thick ropes of cum with a final grunt. He grabbed the counter for support as you both caught up your breath, still pulsing inside you. 

When the two of you came down off your high he pulled out, making you gasp at the loss. 

“Wait, don’t move,” he said, pinning you with a hand as the other one reached for paper towels. He then cleaned his own cum that was dripping over your leg. You shivered at the contact with your aching core.

After that you looked at the stove, which you completely forgot about, and saw the ground beef was almost burning. You put back on your pants and panties and turned off the heat, placing the pan aside. 

“I told you this was gonna happen.” you scolded him with a sly smile. 

“Looks good to me.”

“I think we shouldn’t trust your opinion on what looks good.” you gestured toward your clothes with your hands.

“I just fucked you against the counter but you still think you don’t look good.” he shook his head “do I need to bend you over again until you get it?”

“Maybe later.” you started to scoop the meat onto the tortillas “finish cutting the lettuce.” you ordered, pointing at the untouched vegetable with the spatula. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

Your night finished eating burnt tacos on your couch and watching a cheesy movie Joel complained about because he didn’t want to see it — but he ended up enjoying it, even though he would never admit it.

You fell asleep mid movie cuddling him in the living room, he was talking to you when he realized you were sound asleep, so he finished the movie, cleared the table and brought you to bed carrying you in his arms. 

I'm at the teacher's lounge when I see Paul, my colleague, approaching me.

— Hey, —he says getting closer, he almost looks nervous— there’s an antique fair near my house. Do you feel like going this afternoon? We can eat at my place after we leave and head straight there. 

I immediately say yes, I’ve been sad because of Joel for a couple days and tired from working, so the idea of going out doesn’t sound bad to me. 

— Yeah, see you after class then. 

Paul smiles widely and says goodbye. I feel a shiver on my stomach, am I nervous? I have no doubt my friends would say that he definitely asked me out, but this is just friends being friends. Even though I know this doesn’t mean anything I can’t avoid getting a little nervous thinking of going to his house. I have to forget about Joel once and for goddamn all and the universe is giving me the best chance to do it. 

The rest of the day goes as normal as always, I give my classes, the students complain… I almost don’t have time to think about going to Paul’s house later and even less to think about Joel and his fuckass behavior. 

When the bell rings, signaling the end of classes, I pack up my things and head to the staff room to meet Paul. I get there before he does, and by the time he shows up, I’ve been waiting for a few minutes. There’s almost no one left in the building, so we decide to head out right away.

— How were your classes? —he asks as we start to walk towards the exit.

— Same as always. —I shrug— I think I’m bonding with the students, today two girls confessed to me that they think they’re falling in love with a teacher. —we both start to laugh. 

When we make it to the front door, Paul opens the door for me so I can get out first. I get out of the building and we start to  walk towards his car, but what I see freezes me on the spot. 

Right in front of me, there’s a truck parked. Its owner is leaning against it, arms crossed and staring dead at us. Staring dead at me. It’s Joel.

— Joel? —I ask, very confused— What are you doing here?  

— What do you think? 

— I’m talking serious, Joel. 

— I’m here to pick you up, so… —he gets out of the way.

— I already have plans, so… —I mimic his tone. 

— Plans for right now? 

— Well not right right now but-

— Then you can get in the fucking car. —he opens the passenger’s seat door. 

— I think she already said no. —says Paul. 

Joel stops looking at me to glare at him with a death stare. This whole time he was ignoring Paul, but now his full attention is on him.

— Am I talking to you? —he snorts back.

Paul turns to look at me, he places a hand on my shoulder.

— You wanna go with him? —he asks me.

I’m left speechless in front of them, not knowing what to say to any of them. I look at them and they look at me, expecting me to choose. What am I supposed to do? Paul invited me over to eat at his place, but now that I think it better it might be a little awkward, what if he tries something? I’d reject him and we’ll be weird after that. Joel made the effort to come here for me, even though I don’t like it at all he’s trying, I’d feel bad if I just leave him here. 

— I’m sorry. —I sigh, talking to Paul— Send me the address and I’ll go later.

— Are you sure? —he looks disappointed.

— Yeah. —I sigh again, turning to Joel— We have things to sort out. 

—Well, call me if you need anything. Okay? 

— Okay. —I say as I get in the car.

After that he goes away on a beeline to his car, and from my seat I can see Joel hiding not so well a smirk, an ‘I won’ face after a pissing contest. How mature. Maybe I should’ve gone with Paul instead. 

— Don’t be like that, he’s a good guy. —I say when he’s inside too. 

— Ain’t doing anything.

I don’t say anything. It’s not like I can give him an answer to that. He speaks again. 

— So you’re dating, or…? 

— Why do you care? It’s none of your business. 

— You’re right. None of my business.

Awkward silence, here we go. I didn’t mean to sound that rude, but the question took me off guard. The least I can do is answer him.

— We are not dating. He’s just a colleague. 

— A very concerned one I see. That damn kid was about to jump on me.

— Can you stop it? —I turn my body to face him— What the fuck is your problem, Joel? You came here to pick me up just so you can judge me?

— That’s not-

— Then what? What do you want to talk about, Joel? Why am I in your goddamn truck? 

— I didn't force you in, you decided to. —he never stops looking at the road.

— Oh come on, I can’t believe I’m not on my fucking date for being here, this ain’t going anywhere. 

— So now it is a date. —he grabs the wheel tighter. 

— Yes, Joel, it is a date. Or was, I don’t even know if he’ll ever want to after all this.

— Won’t be a big loss. 

His sass is driving me crazy, honestly I don’t know what’s his problem or motivation. 

— What do you want from me? —I ask again— ‘Cause I really don’t understand what’s going on. You don’t want to be with me, but you also don’t want me to be with someone else. 

— I’m here because I think we could’ve ended things better. 

Motherfucker. 

— Oh you do? That’s funny ‘cause it is exactly what I tried to tell you the day you decided to be the cruelest man on earth with me. —he doesn’t say anything, so I keep getting it all off my chest— I just wanted to talk, and you pushed me away. I wasn’t trying anything, didn’t want you to say you love me, —my voice cracks— ‘cause I know you don’t. But you didn’t have to be cruel. 

The silence after is criminal. I turn my body completely to the other side, facing the window to hide the tears falling down my cheeks, but eventually I sob louder than I could control, and he hears.

— Are you crying? —he asks, looking at me for the first time in the whole ride— Baby, don’t. —he places a hand on my thigh.

The sound of the word ‘baby’ on his tongue burns on my ears. I already told him to not call me that, but he doesn’t seem to mind. I shove his hand out of my leg and he looks at me like he’s hurt, I can see his reflection on the window. 

— I’m really sorry about that. 

— Right. —I say with a sigh. 

— I really mean it. That day I wasn’t thinking, I just wanted to be far from you to no fuck it up more and didn’t know how to do that.

— You could’ve told me instead of hurting me, ‘cause that’s what you did. 

— Not what I wanted.

— But you did. 

Silence again. This time it lasts about five minutes until I can’t hold it in anymore. 

— What’s gonna happen now, Joel?

— I don’t know. —he sighs. 

— Well, you'll have to figure that out, ‘cause I’m starting to move on with my life. I can’t wait for you forever, you know that. 

He doesn’t say anything, we’re already parked on my driveway and Joel won’t even look at me.

— Tell me to stay with you and I’ll do it, Joel. Tell me to stay and I won’t doubt, I won’t hesitate. But I can’t be your secret anymore. I can’t live my life knowing you want to hide me.

I give him time to answer my question, but I guess he isn’t brave enough to publicly be with me, maybe he just used me all this time. 

— Alright. —I mutter— Everything has been said.

I get out of the car slamming the door and running inside. 

・・・・・

An hour later I’m in my room getting ready for my date. Thankfully Paul sent me the address, at least he still wants to go out with me even though now it’s me the one that doesn’t wanna go, not really in the mood. But anyways, I’m sitting in front of my mirror trying to cover up my face so I don’t look wrecked. 

I’m so deep in my own misery that I don’t realize someone is knocking on my door until it brings me out of my thoughts. 

— I’m coming! —I yell as I make my way downstairs so whoever is knocking cuts it off. When I open the door I feel my mouth dropping to the floor— The fuck? 

Joel is standing on my front door, flower bouquet in hand. It’s a simple one, three roses wrapped in plain paper that he’s holding with a mix of fear and expectation. He clenches his jaw. 

— Can I come in? 

— Joel, what are you doing here? My dad-

— He’s not at home. —he starts— It’s Friday, he’s with Emily, right?

I sigh and step aside so he can come inside. When he does I close the door, taking a second to turn and face him.

— These are for you. —he hands me the flowers— I didn’t know what else to do to apologize, thought you’d like them. 

— I do, thanks. 

I keep my head down, observing the bouquet until he breaks the silence. 

— You told me you’d stay if I asked you to. 

— And you didn’t answer.

— I’m answering now. I want you to stay. 

— This is fucked up, Joel. —I whisper in disbelief.

— I know, it has always been fucked up. 

— Why are we like this? —I sigh, bringing a hand up to cover my face.

— Like what?

— Stupid. —I let the bouquet on the coffee table— We can’t be together but we can’t be apart either. How can we even explain that? It hurts to be with you and hidden, but it hurts even more to forget you. I can’t live like that, Joel. I can’t forget about you if you keep appearing in my life asking me things you know I can’t give you.

— I just want you to forgive me. 

— I can’t forgive you, Joel. —I move the hand away from my face—  I can’t forgive you because you’ve been treating me like shit, —my finger finds his chest, pressing aggressively into it— you let me down, you made me feel fucking used and disgusting.

Suddenly what was only pressing a finger is turning into pounding my fists on his chest, trying to make him get away from my mind, and he doesn't even flinch. He stands there, completely unfazed. He doesn't budge. It’s like hitting a brick wall. 

— Easy, you’re gonna hurt yourself. —he says calmly.

His steadiness is driving me nuts. As much as I try to move him, he's stronger, I got nothing to do against his broad build, but that also means I can keep punching him to let it all out. 

— I had a fucking date with a nice guy and you ruined it making me get in your goddamn truck. —punch— Instead of getting ready for the date that he agreed to push back, I'm here arguing with you because you don’t let me move on with my life. —I’ve completely lost it, lashing out with three quick punches. 

— That’s enough. —he grabs my wrists, stopping me from hitting his chest

Joel is now holding me tight with his hands, his jaw clenches and our eyes stare at each other deeply. I lean toward him until our lips are inches apart, nearly brushing but not making a move. 

— I hate you. —I whisper looking at his mouth.

— You sure?  —he asks, gripping my wrists tighter.

Our breaths hitch, coming in short gasps, as I watch his chest rise and fall sharply. 

Fuck it.

I press my mouth against his, and he doesn’t hesitate to kiss me back. His hands let go of mine, the both of them quickly moving to tangle in my hair. 

— Tell me to stop. —he says, breaking the kiss. 

— Shut up. —I answer, searching for his mouth once again. 

Joel uses his big calloused hands to angle my head and deepen the kiss, his tongue asking for permission. He’s driving me crazy, I can feel the wetness starting to form between my legs and I know he’s seconds apart from growing a hard on in his pants. We’re both craving going further, so who am I to stop it from happening?

— I need more, Joel. —I pant— I need you.

— Hmm… What happened to ‘I hate you’, baby?

— Stop being a tease and take me to the bedroom, Miller. 

That was the only thing he needed to hear. He lifts me effortlessly, carrying me in his arms as if I weigh nothing and making his way upstairs, to my bedroom. 

Having Joel in my room isn’t new, he’s been here probably once or twice in all the years we’ve known each other, but this is much more different. He puts me back on the ground and starts kissing my neck like a man in hunger. As I’m standing there, I feel a bit ashamed for having the room messy, some clothes on the floor and makeup still splayed on my vanity, which reminds me I should be getting ready for my date with Paul. Fuck. 

— Joel, —I start— shit, I… I have a date, remember?

— Hmpf… —he bites and sucks at my neck— Don’t go. 

I should not think that is a good idea, but right now I can only picture Joel between my legs, not a fucking antique fair. 

— Call him and tell him you’re busy. —he continues, putting his hands under my tee to caress my body— Tell him you can’t make it. 

— Okay… Yes.

I move away from Joel, searching for my phone with trembling steps. It’s on my vanity. I grab it and call Paul’s number while Joel stands behind me, finding my waist under my clothes with his broad hands. The phone rings three times before Paul answers. 

— Hi? —he says.

— Hey, um… About the antique fair… 

— Is everything alright? —he interrupts me— Are you okay?

— Yeah, why wouldn’t I?

— Well, I don’t know. That dude seemed mad, maybe I shouldn’t have let you get in his car…

Joel is listening, and he laughs at that, his hands still exploring my body.

— You wish… —he mutters not so quietly.

— Is he with you right now? —Paul asks, confused. 

— It’s complicated, but anyways what I was saying- 

From behind Joel works the zipper of my jeans undone, managing to fit a hand inside. He finds my panties and starts to toy with them, running his fingertips along my wetness, making me gasp. 

— Hello? 

I realize Joel's little teasing made me quiet, not finishing what I was saying. 

— What I was saying is that I can’t make it, I’m sorry. 

— Because of him? 

— What? No, no it’s not because of him-

Joel tugs my panties to the side, brushing a finger through my folds and pressing it on my entrance, making his way inside. 

— It’s not because of him. —I manage to say— I’ll  make it up for you, I promise. 

I don’t give him time to say anything else ‘cause I hang up the phone immediately, tossing it aside. I’ll find it later. 

Joel walks me in front of my mirror, hand still buried in my core.

— This the mirror you sent me that picture? 

He’s talking about the bruised hips and his tee picture, the one I sent once after we almost got caught in his room. 

— Uh-huh. —I nod.

— Mmmm. —he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, breathing hot air against my neck— Look at you, so pretty all wrecked for me.

I start to move my hips against his hand, seeking for the much needed friction he’s not providing me. 

— You want something? —he mocks, I nod pathetically—  What do you want? Tell me. 

— I want you fingers, please. —I move my hips, gasping when his digit brushes my aching bud.

— I love it when you get so desperate.

Joel starts to finally draw circles in my clit, looking at my eyes in the reflection mumbling filthy words in my ear. So wet… You’re drenching my fingers… You like it, huh? 

He doesn’t take long to put two thick fingers of his free hand inside, making me squirm from the stretch. I place my hands on the mirror, steadying myself before falling apart. The way his fingers curl inside me, hitting that spot he only knows how to reach and the constant rubbing on my clit is almost too much. White heat pools in my lower belly, I can feel my knees going weak. 

— Joel, I’m close. —I pant.

— Then come closer, baby. —his thrusts speed up and he teases my earlobe with his teeth.

I come undone on his fingers and Joel fucks me through it, never stopping his ministrations until I can’t even remain standing properly. He takes his fingers out, completely soaked with my slick, and places them on my lips, urging my mouth open. I lick them clean, tasting myself on him. 

The sight gets him harder if that’s even possible, I can feel the bulge trapped inside his jeans against my butt. Joel speaks again in my ear.

— I’m gonna fuck you now, get in the bed. 

He sets me free and as I make my way to the undone bed he spanks my clothed ass, that shouldn’t turn me on that much. 

I’m laying on my back with a pillow under my head for support as I watch Joel getting undressed. His flannel goes out first, landing somewhere on the floor, next his jeans, and when his cock springs free my mouth waters. It’s already leaking and pink, rock hard and intimidating. 

— You cold? —he asks— why so many clothes on? 

— Waiting for you to rip them off of me. —I shrug.

Joel gets on top of the bed with ease, his hands tugging off my pants like his life depends on it. I sit straight to take off my tee and bra. He’s staring, so I straddle his lap and put my arms around his neck. The only thing covering me right now are my panties, which are drenched and clinging to my cunt. I can’t resist the need to grind myself against his throbbing cock, winning a couple grunts from him that he quiets sucking on my nipple. 

I’m moaning his name loudly as he sucks and bites, pinching the other one at the same time between his fingers. When he’s satisfied, he leans me again on my back, standing on the floor with his knees glued to the bed and taking off my ruined panties. I lift my hips to help him. 

— I’m gonna have you walking funny tomorrow, ‘s gonna hurt to move. 

— That a threat? 

— You won’t be so mouthy when I’m fuckin you stupid… —he lifts one of my thighs to place my ankle on his shoulder and his hand caresses the back of it.

— You keep saying it but I still haven’t seen any of it.

— Keep running your mouth like that and you’ll regret the attitude. —he spanks the back of my thigh. 

With an eager hand he grabs his cock by the base and lines it up with my entrance, my body quivers with anticipation, clenching around nothing. 

Joel starts to push the tip inside, and oh, God, he’s stretching me out. We’ve been apart for so long that I had forgotten how big he is, how good he stretches me. He’s not fully in yet and I already feel full. He uses a hand to make me look where he disappears inside of me.

— See how good she’s swallowing me. —he grunts— I bet she’s missed me.

— Don't be so full of yourself, —I say, leaning back again.

— You’re the one full of myself here.

Even when getting his dick wet he has to keep with his goddamn sass, and now that I think about it it is one of the very many reasons I have to be mad at him, but who cares at this point. 

When he finally bottoms out I scream at the feeling of his cock hitting my cervix. He’s thrusting me harder each time, slipping it out completely to put it all in again. 

— I’ve missed you, honey. —he says while he drags his cock out— So fucking —he thrusts again and pants— much. 

I’m moaning shamelessly when Joel grabs my hand and places it on my lower belly with his on top. 

— You feel it, baby? —he asks between thrusts.

— Oh, yes! —I scream as I feel with my hand the bulge of his cock in my stomach. 

— Fuck, you’re so goddamn tight, squeezing me so fucking good.

Joel brings my other ankle up to rest on his shoulder and leans forward, pinning my legs against my chest. The new angle is making my vision blurry, feeling him deeper now. 

— Joel, I- I can’t. —I whimper— ‘S too much.

— Yes you can. C’mon you’re taking it so well. 

He’s feral at this point, grunting and thrusting and pinning my hands up my head against the mattress so tightly that I know it’ll leave a mark. His balls slapping against my butt are making an obscene sound that’ll be hard to forget any time soon.

I feel my second high getting closer, making my legs shake even though they’re caged under him. The pressure on my clit is too much and I’m starting to feel his cock on my lungs. 

— Joel, I’m gonna come. —I pant breathlessly.

— Mmm… I don’t know pretty girl, you’ve been very bratty. You know only good girls get to come, maybe I shouldn’t let you.

— Oh, please. I can’t hold it anymore. I’ve been good.

With ease he flips us around, setting me on top.

— Then go for it. Milk my cock and fucking come. 

His hands find my hips and grip them like I’m going to fly away. Even though he’s asking me to ride him, he’s the one thrusting his hips up and making me follow the pace. I don’t last much longer, with my hands on his chest and my legs gripping him tight, I come hard.

— Fuck baby, I’m gonna fill you up, okay? You gonna let me? 

— Yes, Joel. Please. —I moan.

Thick pulsing ropes of cum fill my insides, I can feel Joel's dick softening inside me when I collapse into his chest, legs still shaking. 

— S’okay babygirl, I got you. —he caresses my bare back— I got you.

I’m still laying on his chest and he’s still gently caressing my back. I cuddle him, listening to his raced heartbeat and feeling his chest rise and fall, trying to get the lost breath back.

— You did very good, honey. —he mutters against my forehead, leaving a soft kiss as he keeps tracing invisible lines on my back.

I lift my head and rest my chin on his chest, looking at his eyes and trying to engrave the glow of his eyes, the curve of his lips and the bridge of his nose in my mind. Joel looks back at me with the same intensity and shifts the caresses to my cheek.

— Stay. —he murmurs, almost begging, as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

It takes me a second to decide my next move as soon as I feel his hands on my skin and I see that look, full with something that Joel Miller rarely gives: Love.

— I don’t really hate you. —I say with the same tone— I forgive you. —a smile forms on his mouth, so I keep talking— But it isn’t that simple, Joel. I need to know this is real, that you won’t run away again. I have to learn how to gain back my trust.  

Slowly, I get off of him, letting his now soft cock slip out of me and whining at the loss. He scoots over to make room for me next to him, and I put an arm over his chest as I rest my head on his arm. He places a hand on my waist and pulls me closer.

— I’m gonna make you feel like the most loved woman on earth. —he whispers against my head.

As he pronounces those words I’m wishing it’s true and that he won’t run away from us again, but Joel has a long track record of unkept promises.

I don’t have time to say anything back to him because gets up the bed and goes straight to the bathroom after putting back his boxers. I stay laying on my back, looking at the ceiling and thinking about what I have just done, hoping I don’t regret it. 

Joel is back in the room with a towel in hand and, without saying a word, he sits on the bed, parts my legs open and starts cleaning the sticky mess off my cunt. 

— I can do it myself, don’t worry. —I say trying to get the towel from his hands.

— Lemme take care of you. 

This morning I wake up alone. I run my hand along Joel’s side, where he should be, but the linen is already cold which means he’s gone to work long ago. I vaguely remember him leaving a kiss on my forehead and the sound of shoes leaving the room.

I stretch in bed, still feeling yesterday night's events on my muscles. I look for my phone and I see that Joel texted me a couple hours ago.

Joel: Went to work

Joel: You can have whatever you want for breakfast

Joel: Make yourself at home

I leave my phone on the nightstand and I stare at the ceiling before getting up. Make yourself at home. It’s funny to me because I’ve been waking up in this house for years now, but today I’m on his bed wearing his clothes, it makes a big difference. Anyways, I get up and I go straight to the kitchen, coffee is a must right now.

On my way to make breakfast I see a couple dirty dishes in the sink, I’ll wash them later for him. I look at the coffee maker next to the stove, it’s full, he probably made it before leaving. I smile and I grab a mug, Joel can’t leave without coffee.

With a mug in one hand and a bowl with cereal in the other I head to the couch. When I sit I can’t avoid remembering what we did on this same spot not so long ago.

While I eat my cereal I grab my phone to text him good morning so he knows I’m up. I thought he would take longer to answer since he’s at work, but he’s quite fast.

You: Good morning :)

Joel: About time… 

You: I was so tired

You: I wonder whose fault it is

After finishing my breakfast I wash the dishes. There wasn't much, just a plate, a fork and a mug. Joel’s diner and breakfast I guess. Right after the dishes are clean and left to dry I go back to his bedroom to make the bed and air out the room. Once it’s done I’m about to leave the room, but then I remember the night we were here and how he opened the nightstand drawer to grab a rubber. I wonder what more he has inside there… Curiosity is killing me so I go straight to open it.

I’m left open mouthed the moment I see my underwear tucked away inside. A thong. Dark blue. The same one he kept inside his pocket after we hooked up in my hotel room. I completely forgot about it, God, he has had it since then. I’d love to tease him about it, but then he’ll know I’ve been snooping through his stuff, and it puts me off even more after I find prescription bottles. It looks like he’s on medication for anxiety, gastric ulcers, and blood pressure. I had no idea.

I close the drawer and I pretend nothing happened. This is very intimate and I don’t want him to feel like I’m invading his space, if he wants to tell me he will sooner or later, but I can’t avoid feeling bad for him.

Shortly after, I sneak into my house to grab my clothes for our date tonight. Even though my father’s car wasn’t parked there I was still worried he could be inside the house for some reason, but thankfully it was just me being paranoid.

I inspect my closet to find the perfect outfit. I know Joel is not going to dress up, he’s most likely going to wear a flannel and jeans, but I want to look a bit more put-together now that I have the chance to have a date with him, so keeping it casual is not an option.

A long light pink dress is my final choice. I put it in a duffel bag alongside silver high heels and matching accessories: earrings, a necklace and some bracelets. I also store inside my makeup bag. Before going back to Joel’s I take a moment to paint my nails to match with the dress.

A couple hours later I’m sitting on the couch watching TV when my phone buzzes.

Joel: Coming for lunch

Thank God he’s coming, I was running out of ideas to entertain myself until he’s done.

・・・・・

I hear the sound of keys opening the front door so I sit straight on the couch. Joel comes through it with a tired face and tense shoulders. He eyes me up and down, probably spending more time than needed on my thighs, right where his t-shirt ends. — Looks better on you. —he says, a bit dryly, even though his eyes say something else. I can just smile.

He goes straight up to the kitchen, boots echoing on the wood floor with each step. He slips the backpack off his shoulder, letting it fall to the floor with arms akimbo.

— Well, let’s cook something. —he turns to open the fridge and starts to pick some vegetables and meat to put on top of the counter, but he runs into the cereal box I forgot to put away— Cereal? Wasn't there anything more filling? —he asks, raising an eyebrow as he grabs a cutting board. — I’ve cleaned your dirty dishes, Joel, don’t be so fussy. —I joke.

He snorts as an attempt of laughing and gets closer to me to grab the nape of my neck and leave a peck on my lips. Joel tries to step away from me but I don’t let him, I wrap my arms around his neck and I get him closer to me, smiling against his lips. He doesn’t take long to react. He growls softly in my mouth and grabs me firmly by my waist, gluing me to his body until there’s no space left in between.

— We're never going to eat if you keep this up. —he mutters in my mouth, but doesn’t move away.

— Let’s get into it, I’m hungry. —I answer smiling and stepping away just a little to see his face— Get on with the meat, I’ll cut the vegetables. — No way. You’ll cry cutting the onions and I’ll have to deal with you. Cut the meat and try not to cut your finger, not in the mood to drive to the hospital. —he says, handing me a knife.

We get down to work in the space we have and in less than forty minutes we have our food ready.

— Did you sleep well? I hope I didn’t wake you up when I left. —he asks, starting to dish up.

I nod and answer as he hands me a dish. — I did, your bed is really comfy. — My bed? You must mean that I am really comfy, you’ve spent the whole night lying on top of me.

I feel my face heating up and I stay silent for a second as we walk to the dining room. Then I remember what I saw inside the drawer a couple hours ago.

— I also made the bed. —I add, looking at him through the corner of my eye to see his reaction.

Joel looks at me for a second, his fork halfway through his mouth, but doesn’t seem to care much. I catch myself disappointed by his reaction. — You didn’t have to, most days I don’t even do it ‘cause I don’t have time. — It’s nothing.

While we eat we don’t talk much, we keep a comfortable silence that’s only interrupted to occasionally comment how tasty the food is.

— I like this. —he says, breaking the silence. — The what? —I ask, not knowing what he’s referring to. — Coming home and having you here.

My heart skips a beat. Joel’s not the type to talk about his feelings, and he saying it so naturally as he keeps eating his food shocks me.

— I like it too. —I say with a warm smile in a low voice— even though I have to deal with dirty dishes and undone beds.

He snorts, smiles and I can see his shoulders loosen after his long day at work. “Having me here” is his way to communicate he’s comfortable around me, which means a lot after seeing his medication. We finish our meal and Joel clears the table. Observing him moving so confidently around his own kitchen after being fucked by him and sleeping on his bed gives me a harsh reality check. He’s my father’s best friend, he’s always there for him.

Seeing Joel in this domestic situation makes the forbidden look ordinary. It’s crazy how fast I’ve forgotten who’s him to the rest of the people now that I’m alone with him in his house. His voice brings me back to reality. — It’s too hot outside to do anything. —he mutters snorting and drying his hands with a cloth. — We don’t have to do anything. —I propose, leaning on the kitchen counter.

He looks at me up and down without saying anything. He walks towards the living room and lets himself fall onto the couch, giving a couple of taps on the empty spot beside him as an invitation.

I sit where he’s asking me to, and without a second thought I rest my legs on his lap. Joel doesn’t say anything, he just rests a hand on my thigh and squeezes it softly while he turns on the TV and lowers the volume until it’s just a mutter.

— Gonna take a nap? —I ask when I see he’s closing his eyes and resting his head. — Just for a bit. It’s been a long day.

We stay like this practically the whole afternoon, swapping between nodding off and innocent caresses. It’s just the two of us.

When the sun starts to set down and the living room goes darker Joel stretches himself on the couch and yawns. He checks his watch and then he looks at me, eyes not fully awake yet. I remember he was going to take me out tonight, I hope he’s not too worn out.

— Are you too tired to keep your promise? —I ask him. Joel looks at me confused— You know, taking me on a date tonight, —I drag out my words so he has time to remember. — I wouldn’t call it a promise, but no, I ain’t that tired. — Call it whatever you want. —I get up from the couch— I guess I should get in the shower already.

I start to leave, expecting him to follow me, but he doesn’t. I’m just a couple feet away from the couch so I call him out from there. — You’re supposed to come with me after I say I’m going to get in the shower, you know.

Joel turns, still sitting, and looks at me. He doesn’t say a word, but he stands up quickly to follow me. I don’t wait for him, the moment I see he’s walking towards me I keep my route to his bathroom, having him chase me.

I don’t waste time getting undressed so he can find me naked when he makes it to the bathroom. It doesn’t take long though, I was just wearing a t-shirt over my panties.

The door opens and Joel appears. He takes a second to realize what he’s seeing and with a smile he closes the door behind him. I get under the warm water as I watch him get undressed, what a pleasant view. During this whole time, until he gets in the shower, I can’t avoid looking at every single movement that he makes, every mole in his body, every visible scar.

Once we’re both inside and Joel is fully soaked I get closer to him and I kiss him, apparently it’s an innocent kiss and he doesn’t doubt to follow it. It starts slowly, without rush, our lips are synchronized and self‑assured, anticipating each other’s moves flawlessly. Then, our tongues meet and everything turns more intense, what started as an innocent game is now something more heated.

I move away just a little, as much as Joel’s tight grip on my hips allows me.

— Don’t start something you can’t stop. —he warns me, barely brushing his lips against my neck. — Who said I want to stop? —I answer.

Slowly I start to kneel in front of him, eyes glued to his still, until my knees touch tile and I have his cock in my face. Joel takes a deep breath and a smile slips out from my mouth without me noticing. I face down, but before I can even do anything he grabs my chin, making me look at him. — Are you laughing? —he asks in a low voice— you’re such a slut. I’m about to say something, but he keeps talking. — Hands behind your back.

I do as I’m told without a second thought. My hands are crossed behind my back and I wet my lips. Joel seems to be pleased by my expression, because he runs a thumb along my lips down to my chin, pressing slightly to open my mouth.

Joel places his hand on the nape of my neck and I get closer to him to take him on my mouth. I level my head to get comfier, which makes me break eye contact with him. He answers by pushing me back with a hand on my forehead and forcing eye contact back.

— Keep your eyes on me. —he orders me with a deep voice.

Without looking away, I stick out my tongue, and I start taking him again. At first I move slowly, trying to stay steady with my hands on my back, but once I get used to it I bob faster.

Joel grunts, grabbing me by my hair as he praises me. I move away to catch some air, forming a thread of saliva that connects his tip to my mouth

— Oh God. —he sighs, tilting his head back. He brushes his cock on my lips, and without letting go of the nape of my neck he cleans any single trace of saliva and precum— Now I’m going to fuck that pretty little mouth of yours, okay?

I don’t even have time to nod when Joel thrusts me again, deeply this time. I gag and my eyes go watery once I feel the pressure on my throat. That drives him crazy because he thrusts harder each time. Even though I’m enjoying it, I can’t think of anything besides having him inside of me.

I manage to pull him out. He looks puzzled, but waits for me to say something first. — I need you inside of me Joel, I need it now. — We have to be responsible. —he lets go of the grip on my head and caresses my cheek with the back of his hand. — I’m on birth control. —I say looking at him with desperate eyes.

He looks at me, analyzing what I just said, but doesn’t spend much time thinking about it, he needs it as badly as I do, so he helps me stand up. When I’m back at his level he turns me around and makes as if to hug me from behind, but he’s doing it to guide my arms to place my hands on the wall. — Keep your hands there. —he leaves a kiss on my shoulder before he lets go of me— Now, spread your legs for me.

I widen the space in between my legs. I can’t see what he’s doing, but a hand grips my hip and by the sound he’s making I can tell he’s pumping himself before coming in. He’s taking longer than I can wait right now, so I move my body enough to make the tip brush my entrance. I shiver just by that small contact. Joel chuckles. — Poor girl, so needy for my cock.

Right after he finishes his sentence he thrusts me deeply, catching me off guard. He gives me a couple seconds to get used to his size and then he moves again, keeping a slow pace that stretches me so good but it’s also frustrating. — Go faster, Joel. —I pant. — Ask for it nicely. —he pulls out almost completely to thrust back in one blow. — Fuck. —I cry out— Okay, please Joel, go faster. — That’s it. —he doesn’t waste any more time and begins to speed up.

Feeling Joel bare against my insides is definitely something else. My walls clench around his length so tightly that I’m starting to lose my vision.

My arms are getting tired and I can tell I’m close. I’m moaning loudly with each thrust he gives me, whining nonsensical words. Joel is also close, his movements are falling out of pace, now he’s following a messy one which he can barely maintain. He spanks me in the ass as he grips me hard with his other hand. I moan pleased. — You like that, huh? —he asks.

I gasp for air in response. He mutters something I can’t understand and gives me another spank before grabbing me tight with both hands this time, I know his digits are going to leave a mark on me. — Where do you want it? —he asks. — Come inside, please. —I say in between moans before reaching the edge. My hands leave the wall after I come.

Joel gives me a couple more thrusts before spilling all inside of me. I can feel warm loads filling me up. He pulls out making me huff, the emptiness is heartbreaking.

My legs are trembling and I can barely stay on my feet. Joel notices that and places his hand on my lower back, right where I need it to keep myself standing. I place myself under the rain shower head, water running down my sore body.

Joel is behind my back so I turn around to face him. Without saying a word I rest my forehead on his chest, which lets me hear his racing heartbeat, and I close my eyes feeling water pour down on us. I feel cold shampoo on the crown of my head before his fingers massage my scalp.

We don’t say anything. He seems so focused on my hair and I’m still recovering, but that doesn’t stop me from looking up to his face. — Joel. —I call him. — Mhm? — I love you. —I say.

He stops moving his fingers, but he doesn’t remove his hands from me. He stares for a second longer.

— I know.

There’s no mockery in his voice but honesty. He leaves a kiss on my forehead and keeps going, rinsing my head until there’s no more soap.

・・・・・

When we finished our shower I kicked Joel out of the bathroom, I didn’t want him to see me until I was fully ready. It may seem silly, but I really want to surprise him. He got out unwillingly, but he did. 

Now I’m in front of the mirror, finishing getting ready, while an impatient Joel is hurrying me up. I try to ignore him, but I run out of patience and I end up getting out of the bathroom. 

I go downstairs trying to stay composed even though the heels, the nerves and the rush are not the best combination. When I reach the last step I find Joel standing there, arms crossed. He’s wearing a flannel and jeans, how predictable. 

Joel ogles me up and down slowly, like if he were memorizing every detail. I get a bit nervous by his silence so I say the first thing that comes to mind. 

— What happens? Do I look ugly or something? —I ask, trying to look normal while I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. 

He takes a step forward and because I’m still in the stairs our eyes meet at the same height. He shortens the distance until I can smell his cologne. 

— You look amazing, but right now I can only think about tearing that dress off of you. —he says slowly, dragging the words— you’re lucky we’re already late. 

I feel my cheeks starting to burn and I laugh at his comment, it makes me forget how he didn’t even dress up for the occasion. We walk to his truck and we head out to a restaurant just outside town. On our way we don’t do anything exciting, we just talk. Everything feels so natural, so real, that I forget about anything less. It’s just Joel and me going on a date. 

When we arrive at the restaurant Joel opens the door of the truck for me so I can get out, what a gentleman. I give him a big smile, not trying to hide my excitement, and we walk inside the place. I’m walking arm‑in‑arm with him, and it feels so weird to do it when there’s so many people around, but after all that’s why we are so far from home is to avoid running into people we know. That way we can enjoy our company.

Dinner goes amazing. We talk, laugh, we even flirt with each other. The very basics about dates. 

— You didn’t mention the birth control thing. —he remarks. It’s not a judgemental tone but an intrigued one. 

— Oh, I started taking the pills when I realized we were doing it often, just precaution. —I answer, making it seem like no big deal. 

Joel doesn’t say anything, he just stares at his food frowning, he’s thinking about something. 

— So, does it mean that we can repeat what we did today again? —he asks, almost whispering.

I almost choke when I hear his question so I drink some water before answering.

— I won’t say no. —I say, clearing my throat.

We both smile at each other and continue with our dinner.

Go read the full story! this is actually chapter fifteen lol

Tomorrow’s the big day: Sarah’s birthday party. She has invited a bunch of classmates, old friends, cousins… Her house is going to be full of people. 

Do you really get along with all these people? I asked her when she read to me her guest list. You only turn eighteen once!, she replied. 

These last few days I’ve been going out with Ethan until he had to go back to California. Dinner, movies, malls… He even came to eat at my house once. I’ve been trying the whole time to never be left out alone with him, avoiding places that could give us maybe too much privacy, but he’s not dumb, he noticed what I was doing. 

We were driving back home from the bowling alley, him behind the wheel, as usual. I said he didn’t have to, but he insisted, claiming he didn’t trust Texas’ madmen. 

— Is your dad home? we could watch a movie or something —he asked, hopeful. 

He put his hand on my thigh and started caressing it, but I was highly distracted thinking about Joel. 

— He is, I’m sorry.

— Well, you can come to my friend’s place then, he said he’d be gone ‘till ten.

I didn’t know how to say that I’m not interested in him anymore, that another man already has me head over heels, so I just kept playing pretend. 

— Look, Ethan, I’m really tired, we should leave it for another time. —That’s the best I could come up with, followed by my best try of a smile. 

He kept driving, silent this time, both hands on the wheel. When he parked on my driveway I turned to look at him and I noticed he was frowning.

— I'm not really sure if you remember why I came to Texas… —he  said without looking at me.

I hesitated for a bit at first, knowing damn well what he was talking about. 

— To see me? 

— To have a last intercourse with you. —he corrected me— And it doesn’t seem like it’s gonna happen. Not if you keep feeding me pretty lame excuses. 

— Ethan, you know there are things that can’t be forced… —I was starting to feel personally attacked— If I don’t want to, you can’t make me do it, that’s how it works. —I said, crossing my arms.

We stayed silent for a couple of seconds. It’s an awkward silence, I can feel Ethan’s gaze burning my face, judging me. 

— Has Joel something to do with all this? 

My legs started trembling and I could feel my face going white. I looked him in the eye and I saw a kind of jealousy never seen before. 

— The fuck are you talking about? —I muttered.

— He’s always looking after you, like a lot more than he should. The other day at the barbecue, he was staring at me the whole time like he didn’t want me there. 

— He’s just taking care of me, Ethan —I said defensively— I’m his best friend’s daughter, that’s it. 

— You know it’s not just that. I’ve seen how he looks at you, and you don’t look at your friend’s daughter like that. 

I started to worry about my father noticing us fighting through my living room window or whatever.

— Stop talking bullshit. 

He let out a brief sarcastic laugh.

— Bullshit? —he repeated— Do you really think I’m blind or something? Every time Joel appears your mood shifts. You tense, you sort of avoid me, and he keeps a close eye on me. —he clenches his jaw.

— That’s because my father told him about you, —I reply rapidly— He just wants to protect me like a father would, it’s totally normal that he wants to know my friends! 

— It’s not normal. —he interrupted me— It’ll be normal for a guy his age to not give a shit about us. It’ll be normal for him to step aside, and he doesn’t. He’s always in the middle. 

He looked at my house, making sure there’s no movement behind the curtains, and then he fixed his eyes on me again. 

— Besides, —he added—  he can’t stand me. Since day one. It’s like he’s pissed by us being together, like he doesn’t like that you spend more time with me than with him. 

— Are you being for real? You’re just saying the first thought that came to your mind ‘cause your fragile male ego can’t accept that I don’t want to hook up with you!

Ethan’s gaze turned into something darker and I started to feel a little scared. I had never seen him like that, suddenly he seemed like a whole different person than the boy who gave me flowers on our first date. 

— My male ego? —he leaned a little over me— then explain to me why every time we enter your neighborhood you let go of my hand, why do you get nervous when he’s close, why can’t you be alone with me and do the only fucking thing I came for, huh? Explain it! 

I felt a knot on my throat. I didn’t want to lie, but it was worse to say the truth, and seeing Ethan acting like that was affecting me more than I could handle. 

— I’m not having this conversation now. —I claimed as calm as I could— Go home and call me when you feel relaxed so we can solve this. —I opened the car door to get out, but his hand wrapped around my wrist. Not hard enough to harm me but to make it clear that he wasn’t having it. 

— I don’t like being lied to, —he said looking deeply at me— even worse if it’s all about an old dude  that could be your father. 

— Let go of me. —I demanded, tensed, trying not to sound fragile. 

He did let go of me, but he didn’t back off. Quite the opposite, he smiled like he always does. A smile that always seemed cute to me, but now was seeming dangerous. 

After a moment of hesitation he backed off, hands and sight on the wheel again, but before leaving, he added:

— I hope you give me what you promised me when I came here. —almost in a whisper.

— I didn’t promise you anything. —I said, mimicking his tone.

I got out of the car and got inside my house. I took a look through the peephole with my heart racing, to make sure he was leaving. 

Now I’m sitting on my bed thinking about how that situation developed. Obviously I did not see him again. Even though he called, texted and even showed up at my front door, I rejected him every single time. What scared me the most wasn’t him acting like a weirdo, it was the fact of him realizing something was happening between Joel and me. But he’s gone. He’s in California where he should be, bringing him here was definitely a big mistake but it’s solved now, or at least kind of.

・・・・・

Music at the Miller’s is already loud before nighttime, I can hear it from my bedroom while I get ready. I don’t know how much time will we have until someone complains, this neighborhood is full of oldies. 

I’m wearing a dress that I bought in California one of my last years there and my favorite pair of cowboy boots. I take a moment to decide if I should get my hair up or leave it loose. In the end, I decide to grab a hair tie just in case I need it later. 

Before leaving I say goodbye to my father and I tell him that I’ll probably stay over, so he doesn’t wait for me awake. I look at my reflection in the mirror one last time and I get out of the door. 

When I arrive to the party there’s already plenty of people. Sarah appears outside the door, plastic cup in hand and a big smile on her face. She’s not dressed up elegant, but it’s clear she made the effort of dressing better for tonight.

— You made it! —she shouts at me— I thought you’d back out honestly.

— There’s no way I could miss this, —I say— someone must be the responsible adult here. 

I can’t say anything else ‘cause Sarah’s handing me a cup like hers, can’t complain. 

I slyly eye the whole house looking for Joel, but he’s nowhere to be seen. All I see right now are teenagers scattered around in different groups and a giant poster on the threshold that says Miller’s party. 

There’s so many people here that I don’t know where to start socializing. I look around and I recognize some faces, but I don’t think I could start a conversation with no one here. I see Sarah, she’s totally in her element, I don’t want to crash onto her group.

Suddenly, the social awkwardness kicks in. I’ve been standing on the entryway for a while, looking in all directions with my plastic cup in hand. I decide to wander around before committing social suicide. 

Being in this party without knowing anyone makes me wanna go for Joel, and I can’t hold a smile when I remember how he “saved” me from that guy on the bar when I was looking for solace in my friends. My feet start to walk unconsciously upstairs, but someone stops me. 

— Hey.

The voice comes from behind my back, but I know he’s talking to me ‘cause it’s followed by some taps in my shoulder. 

I turn around and I get welcomed by a guy not older than eighteen. Super tall, six foot two maybe. He’s looking at me leaned on the wall in a desperate try of looking nonchalant, it looks so forced that I even feel sad for him. 

— I’m Eddie.

I introduce myself too and we start chatting. He’s a little bit weird, not gonna lie, but he’s kind and also the only person that cared to talk to me tonight. He’s telling me that he has finished high school and that he’s not very sure about what he should study in college. He also says that he met Sarah at the computer club and that he was surprised to be invited to her party ‘cause he doesn’t go out much. 

I yap a little too, talking about my experience in college and my degree. We end up comparing some artworks, I didn’t expect it but he knows about art history. 

When I’m going to drink from my cup I notice there’s not more beverage left. Eddie notices it too. 

— Come with me, let’s get a drink. —he says, pointing at the drinks table. 

While we fill up our cups we stay silent, listening to the music. 

— So… —Eddie starts, getting closer to me— Did you come with your boyfriend? 

I smile and shake my head, taking a sip. 

— I don’t have a boyfriend. 

— You don’t? That’s crazy, you’re so pretty and clever to not be taken already.

He steps closer and I back off slightly. That’s when a silhouette going downstairs caps my attention. I recognize these steps and broad shoulders immediately. It’s Joel. We make eye contact and I can see him smiling a little, but he quickly sights Eddie, looking fast at me again. That’s when he turns around and goes back to his bedroom. God, I’m sure he thinks I’m flirting with  this guy when it’s quite the opposite. 

— Hey, uhm, you’re very sweet, —I say between laughs— but I like my men older. Call me at least when you’re old enough to drink. 

I apologize to him and I head upstairs to find Joel. I can feel the alcohol doing its effect on me, I feel a little dizzy so I have to take a sec to stop and think which of these doors is his. I can still think clearly though. 

My hand is on the doorknob and before twisting it I realize it’s the first time I’m going to cross this door, I’ve never been in his bedroom before. I feel a tingling in my stomach and that’s the adrenaline I needed to open the door. 

God bless the moment I decided to do this. When I step inside I find the room illuminated just by a nightstand lamp and Joel resting on his bed, his back against the headboard, reading a book. But what surprises me the most is that he’s wearing glasses. 

Impulsed by the alcohol I close the door shut behind me, leaning against it and not moving. 

Joel looks at me over the top of his glasses. He’s frowning but his eyes seem amused. 

— After all that we’ve been through you should start learning how to knock on doors —he comments quietly, closing his book and leaving it on top of the nightstand. He doesn’t take off his glasses, a detail that I appreciate very much. 

I don’t say anything back ‘cause I’m busy burning the image of Joel reading a book in his bed into my memory. I have to go back to reality when he gets off the bed and starts walking towards me. 

He leaves me stuck behind him and the door and scans his eyes through my face. He runs a finger around my cheek, it’s barely a touch, but it makes my heart start to race. 

— Where’s Sarah? —he asks, making sure she’s distracted and won’t come after me. 

— Distracted enough with some friends.

Then, what I’ve been expecting for a long time finally happens. He lifts his hand. Not to touch me, but to lock the door. A little sound that would fly under the radar to most people, but it means much more to me. It’s intimacy, a moment of privacy, a moment where it’s just Joel and me, where it doesn’t matter who’s my father and who’s his daughter. 

— I didn’t know you wear glasses. They make you kinda sexy. 

Joel shifts his gaze to the floor and quickly takes them off. 

— Just for reading. 

— Didn’t know you read either. —I smile at him and he smiles back. 

— What are you doing up here? Thought you were having fun down there.

I shrug and snort.

— I was starting to get bored, —I say while I start to play with the hem of his t-shirt. He’s wearing his pajamas, a white basic t-shirt and some grey tracksuit bottoms. The movements of my hands make my fingers touch his stomach, letting me find his happy trail— I thought I could have more fun here. —I say looking him deeply in the eye. 

Joel doesn’t answer right away, I’m starting to doubt if he has heard me but he finally answers.

— Do you? I saw you having way much fun with your little friend in my kitchen —as he speaks I feel a big hand being placed on my lower back, pushing me closer to Joel. 

— Well… It’s been fun, —I say— but I have something better in mind. 

I slid my hand slowly down his abdomen to his crotch. I don’t take my eyes off of his and I can feel how he breathes out, his gaze turning into something lustful. 

— You’re drunk. I can smell liquor on you. 

— And you’re getting hard. —I answer boldly, looking directly at his bump. 

He moves my hand away from his body and pulls my hair back, making me look at him.

— And whose fault is that? —he grunts.

— I don’t know, you tell me. —I answer with a smile, putting my hand back where it was.

— You never learn, don’t you? I warned you, if you kept acting like this I would have to find some privacy to make you regret your behavior…

— And that’s the only thing I’ve been thinking about since then. 

My last comment pulls the trigger for him. When I finish my sentence he grabs my waist and lifts me up in the air, making me throw my purse on the floor,  manhandling me to take me to his bed. I land alone on top of the mattress because he’s standing next to the foot of the bed. It seems like he doesn’t like the distance between us so he grabs my legs to pull me closer to him, taking a second to throw my boots away. 

He takes off his t-shirt but I don’t have time to react because he’s suddenly on top of me, devouring my mouth with hunger. Our tongues look for each other and he starts to slide a hand under my dress, caressing my stomach. 

Joel steps away from me and I snort as a complaint. I don’t want him to stop. I open my eyes to find his, he’s looking at me like he’s afraid to break me. 

—Are you sure about this? 

I pant. My hand reaches the back of his neck and I stick our mouths together as an answer. He laughs in my mouth and keeps moving his hand higher inside my dress until he reaches my breasts. He then starts to rub a nipple in circles, making me arch my back and let out a little moan.

— Shh. —he hushes me— we can’t be loud. 

He grunts in my neck but doesn’t move his hand away from my breast. I place my hands on his back, scratching it, and one of them tangles on his hair. 

— Make me be quiet, then. —I tease him.

Joel backs off from me. I open my eyes to complain about it, but the view leaves me out of words. 

He’s standing at the foot of the bead, with my bent knees glued to his hips. His shoulders are red, my claw marks all over them, messy hair and gasping for breath. His lips are swollen from kissing. 

— I have a way to keep your mouth busy. —He says while he plays with the waistband of his pants. He looks at me, searching for something he’s not going to find: rejection. 

I sit up, sitting on the edge of the mattress. 

— Tempting… 

A smirk appears on his mouth. He offers me a hand and helps me to get up. He’s now sitting where I was, legs slightly open, arms extended backwards, leaning careless. 

I kneel in front of him. My knees reach the cold floor and I put my hand over his thighs without looking away from his eyes. I start to slowly pull down his pants, no rush intended. When his bottoms are already on the floor I take a moment to stare at his erection. 

He places a hand on my cheek and caresses it. I move my head to catch his thumb with my mouth. Joel takes a deep breath while I suck his finger, twirling my tongue around it while I stare deeply at his eyes. My hand reaches his cock, feeling it grow harder.

Joel moves his thumb, trying to bury it deeper, but I don’t let him, so he grunts. I think I’ve played with his finger enough, so I slide my mouth off his wet thumb. 

I lean towards his crotch and I start to leave wet kisses on top of his boxers. I know he’s enjoying this when he pets my head with his hand. I bite his inner thigh while my hand plays with his dick. 

—Fuck, stop playing and focus. —Joel pants, moving my head away. 

I smile and give in, pulling off his drawers. His erection pops up in my face and I prepare myself for what’s coming. I steal a last look from Joel and then I open my mouth, sticking out my tongue. 

I lick his length going from the base to the top, and when I reach it I introduce the tip inside my mouth while my hand slowly pumps from the base. I move my head up and down, trying to suck more of his length each time. 

Joel’s panting and gasping blend with the party’s music. He’s moving his hips following my pace, helping me to get more inside without forcing me. He occasionally lets out little moans followed by arching his back, which makes me know he’s enjoying it. 

His tip reaches the back of my throat, and I know he felt it because he pants immediately. The pressure on my throat makes me shed some tears, but that doesn’t stop me. I let out some muffled moans so he feels the vibration, making him feel more pleasure. 

— Oh, god… —he pants— You’re being such a good girl for me.    

My jaw starts to ache a little so I decide to focus in another zone. I take his cock out of my mouth and a little thread of saliva appears, connecting his dick with my lips. I start to jerk him with one hand, keeping the same pace as before, as I place my mouth on his balls. 

I suck one gently knowing it’s a sensitive area and I  rub the other one. He’s tensing more and more as I keep working on it, meaning he’s close now, so I go back to his dick, spitting on his tip. I grab his whole length with both of my hands, and I press and rub gently the tip with my thumb. 

Joel goes stiff and moans.

— Where do you want it? —he asks urgently.

— Wherever you want to. —I answer quickly. 

— Open your mouth then. 

I obey and stick out my tongue for him. He gets up and my hands fall away from him, but I place them on my thighs. He jerks himself faster with one hand and grabs my head tight with the other one. 

Precum starts to drip from his dick and I lick it looking at him lustfully without hesitation. He seems to like it, because it makes him finally orgasm. 

Joel rests his cock on my tongue, making his load drip all over my mouth. He’s still jerking himself, trying to prolong the orgasm until he thinks it’s enough and sits back on the bed, exhausted. I swallow his cum and I get closer to him. With a finger I clean the excess off my face and I lick it, staring deeply at him. 

I don’t let him react ‘cause as soon as my face is clean again I jump on top of him to sit on his lap and I pull my dress over my head. Joel places his big hands on my waist, lustful eyes devouring my naked body. He starts to leave wet kisses all over my neck, and slowly moves one hand to my panties. His touch makes me shiver. 

— You’re so wet for me… —he whispers in my ear. 

— Are you sure you can handle another round? At your old age? —I tease him. 

— I think someone needs to have her attitude fucked out of her. 

Joel flips me around and tosses me against the mattress, leaving me resting on my back. He’s standing, heading to his nightstand. I lean forward a little to watch what he’s doing. He opens the top drawer and grabs something. When he turns around I can see he has a rubber on his hand. I’m leaning on my back again with my legs bent but closed, watching his figure appear back in front of me. He brings it to his mouth and rips it open. He’s taking it out of the wrapping and putting it on, this view is the sexiest thing on earth for me right now. 

— I repeat that we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. —he assures me. 

— If you want to stop I can always go back to my little friend down there. —I tease him. 

— I deserve to be paid for tolerating you. —he snorts. 

— I may know a way to pay you… —I slowly open my legs, extending one to brush his V line with my foot. 

Joel caresses my extended leg. 

— Oh, yeah? —he says as I wrap my legs around him, making him get closer— didn’t know you were doing sexual favors now. —he says that with a humorous tone of voice and then starts kissing me. 

— Only for you. —I stop the make out to say it but then I go back. 

Joel moves his hand to my panties and grabs the waistband, asking me for permission with his eyes. I nod and lift my hips to help him take them out faster. He props a leg on top of the bed and pulls me closer to him. Then he grabs his cock and starts brushing it against my clit, making me desperate. 

— Joel… —I gasp— Please… 

— Please what, darling?

I bite my lip, unable to answer his question.

— Do you want me to fuck you? —he asks, starting to push the tip inside. 

I pant and nod, biting my lip harder. Joel smirks and thrusts me slowly, letting me get used to his length and eventually increases the pace. His cock slips back and forth, giving me more inches in every thrust. I moan against his neck trying not to be loud, digging my nails on his back. 

He slips out of me and grabs me to turn me around as he wants, putting me on all fours. He spanks my ass and slides inside again, making me moan loudly as I didn’t expect it. Joel grabs my hair and makes a ponytail with his fist, pulling so pleasingly tight and uses his free arm to grab me from my belly to get us closer, if that’s even possible. 

— Does he fuck you like this? —he thrusts deeper— Huh?

— Who? —I ask, almost in tears. 

— Your goddamn boyfriend, —he pants— does he?

— Ethan? Well, I can’t complain. 

I said that just to tease him, whatever I had with Ethan is nothing compared with how good Joel is making me feel. Even though he’s being rough and I’m on the verge of tears, happy tears. However, he did not like my answer. He starts to fuck me harder, spanking me every so often. 

— Are you sure?

I can’t do anything other than moaning right now, and he takes it as a “no”. 

— Yeah, that’s what I thought. —he says panting.

I start to feel closer to my limit so I grab the sheets tight.

— Joel, —I pant— I’m gonna come.

— Do it baby, cum for me. 

I do as he orders me, reaching the best orgasm I’ve ever had. Joel keeps thrusting me until he comes for the second time this night, his load filling the rubber. I’m laying on the bed trying to catch back my breath when Joel does the same, tapping on his chest. 

— Com’ere. —he orders me. 

I cuddle with him resting my head on his chest, still thinking about what the hell just happened. 

Joel has a hand on my shoulder and is lightly tracing his fingers along my skin down my spine, leaving feather‑light touches all around. I’ve never seen this side of Joel, he’s being gentle, touching me like he’s afraid of harming me if he touches me wrong. We’re still naked, but it’s not sexual anymore, it’s intimate. 

I could stay here forever listening to his heartbeat, it’ll be easy for me to fall asleep right now, but I can’t avoid thinking this is just after care, he must be doing this because he feels like he should. Anyways, he brings me back to reality as he breaks the silence.

— Have you done this before? 

I raise my head to look at him. 

— Done what? Sex? —I smirk.

— No, smartass, I meant being with someone older. 

— Well, we used to say in California that what happens in college stays in college, but I kind of slept with a teacher. —realization hits me and I remember that even though I just fucked him he’s still my father’s friend— Don’t tell my dad —I say with frightened eyes. 

Joel is looking at me open-mouthed, but not in a I’m-mad-at-you way, it’s something more like it-all-makes-sense-now.

— Don’t look at me like that —I laugh, closing his mouth with my hand. 

— Should I be worried about it? 

— Nope. Next topic. Do you do this often? 

Joel is silent and seems confused, so I specify more. 

— Bringing girls to your bed…?

— No. —He’s direct.

— Then why do you have rubbers on your nightstand, the most accessible and convenient place to have them? 

— It is normal to have sex when you’re single. 

— And when was the last time then?

— I think you’ve done it more recently than me. 

— Me? —I laugh at his thought, he really thinks Ethan and I fucked. 

— Well, you and your little boyfriend.

— He’s not my boyfriend, and we did not have sex while he was here. 

Joel looks even more confused now. 

— I mean, the only reason he came was to do it with me, but I didn’t want to and now he’s kinda mad at me for that.

— But, why not? —he’s now caressing my hair, tucking it behind my ear.

— Guess I was waiting for you, if that even makes sense. 

— I haven't thought about any other woman neither since all this started. 

After a moment of silence where we just stared at each other, I decide to ask the question that’s been burning on my throat since he kissed me on this bed for the first time. 

— So, are we being exclusive for now long or…? 

Joel smirks at my question and shifts his hand from my hair to my chin, brushing the back of his fingers along my face before grabbing my chin. 

— I just fucked you once and you already want  to tie me down, what a greedy girl we have here. —he says that last sentence putting his thumb over my lips— You don’t have to worry, honey. 

— This is so messed up, —I whisper— but I guess there’s no turning back at this point. 

— I know, but we’ll figure it out. 

To ruin this beautiful moment my phone starts to ring. 

— Fuck! —I get up from Joel’s chest, covering myself realizing I’m still naked, and I search for my phone. 

I can feel Joel is enjoying the view, so I ask him to turn around. 

— I’ve had you naked in multiple positions and now you’re shy? God damn… 

I grab a pillow and I throw it at him

— Just turn around! —I yell in a whisper as I’m picking the call. It’s Sarah, God have mercy… 

I start to collect my clothes now and I get ready as fast as I can. Sarah called to ask me where I am, because she’s opening her gifts now. Boots on, panties on, dress on, purse in hand, perfect.

— You can turn back around now.

— I still don’t understand why you’re shy all of a sudden.

— ‘Cause I’m not drunk anymore, that’s it.

His phone starts ringing too. Sarah. I better leave before something goes wrong. 

I go downstairs and I find Sarah talking with a friend. When she sees me she stops the conversation to go after me.

— Where have you been? I've been looking for you! —she grabs my arms.

— I, uhm, I’ve…

— Wait, —she looks behind me and touches my dress— are you wearing this inside out?

Fuck. 

Joel starts to walk down the stairs, she has seen him. 

— No fucking way. —she covers his mouth with her hands. 

— Sarah, I can explain… —I start to panic, I feel like I’m going to throw up. 

She starts to laugh, confusing me.

— You’ve hooked up with someone? 

I feel like I can breathe again. Oh God, she thinks I’ve been hooking up with some random guy when it was, in fact, her father. 

— Uhm, yeah… Yeah. Don’t tell anyone, I’m not proud. 

— Oh my God but who was it?

— Sarah, I really don’t want to talk about it. 

— Okay, okay, but go and put your dress on the right way. —she pushes me towards the bathroom. 

Go read the full story! this is actually chapter nine lol

So I go directly there, finding Sarah sitting on a deck chair tanning. 

— You’re gonna get burned — I warn her so she knows I’m already there.

— Okay, dad —she jokes. 

— I’m going to get changed —I inform her, lifting the bag with the bikini. She just nods and gets back to tanning. 

I go upstairs to use Sarah’s bathroom. A little bit annoyed because Joel is nowhere to be seen. Once I’m changed I leave my clothes on Sarah’s sink and I head downstairs to join her. 

She’s already inside the pool so I start getting in.

— Isn’t Joel at home? —I ask casually.

— He’s gone grocery shopping, which is convenient for us cause we can talk about yesterday.

— When he made you put a condom on a banana? —I tease her, holding a laugh.

— Oh shut up, I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life. He’s insane. 

— To be honest I’ve never laughed more over a text.

— Don’t even get me started on why the fuck does he own condoms. 

That comment makes my guts tie up. I didn’t think about it yesterday but Sarah never met her mother, it’s just her and Joel. But he owns rubbers. Somewhere deep in my head I know I’m getting jealous over something I shouldn’t be, so I try to ignore it. 

We are gossiping when we hear a truck parking. Joel. I try to keep it calm. He approaches us, gazing down searching something in the grocery bags.

— Uh, Sarah, I think I forgot to buy the chips you wanted —he says and then looks up— Oh hi, didn’t know you were coming. 

— I was bored and invited her over when you left —Sarah answers for me.

Joel looks me up and down, observing my bikini choice in silence. He then goes inside the house, leaving us some space. 

Later we get off the pool, wrapping ourselves in towels when Joel comes outside, a phone ringing in his hand, my phone. 

— Your boyfriend is calling —He states— he left you a ton of texts too. 

— What? —I take the phone from his hands— Shit —I mutter— give me a sec. 

I get far enough so I can have some privacy but I don’t pick up the phone, I just read the messages. 

Ethan: Are you seriously leaving me on read?

Ethan: Call me.

Ethan: I just want to talk things over.

Ethan: I really like you.

Ethan: Please. 

Ethan: You can’t pretend we didn’t happen.

I don’t even know what I should text back, or if I should respond at all. After a moment of hesitation I come up with something.

You: Why are you so desperate, Ethan. 

You: I told you, we just hooked up a couple times, I don’t owe you anything. 

He answers immediately.

Ethan: Don’t say you didn’t enjoy it. 

He’s right, it was fun while it lasted, but that doesn’t mean I have to marry him.

You: Look, I don’t like to argue by text, can you stop it now?

Ethan: Call me then.

You: No. I’m busy. 

And with that I finish the conversation. My part at least, as he keeps texting. I go back to Joel and Sarah, my towel now wrapped around my waist. Sarah asks and I just hand her my phone, letting her read the conversation. Joel doesn’t say it with words, but I’m sure he also was expecting me to answer that question.

— I’m gonna get changed —I announce.

Joel is leaned against the door frame, I pass by his side and for a brief second our arms graze. As I leave, I can feel Joel staring at me. 

I stare at myself in the mirror for some seconds before changing clothes, my hair all tangled from chlorine water. I take off my bikini and I soak it in tap water from the sink. Then I start searching my underwear. 

I start getting nervous. My underwear is nowhere to be seen. It’s not behind the door, not on the floor, not in my bag. My last hope is asking Sarah, so I put on my t-shirt and shorts and I head upstairs, a beeline to the backyard, where Joel and Sarah are chatting. 

— Hey, Sarah… — I stutter— Can you come here for a moment? —I ask, trying not to look at Joel. Sarah gets up and we get inside the house. 

— Sarah, I can’t find my underwear. I know I left it in your bathroom but it’s not there. Have you seen it by any chance?

Sarah starts laughing at me, making me a little bit mad. 

— Please, this is serious. Maybe… Your father took it thinking it was yours? —as I say that last sentence my ears start to turn red. 

Sarah wipes the tears of laughter and then she answers me.

— We should ask him.

She leads the way, me behind her reconsidering how did I even get in this situation. 

— Hey, dad —Says Sarah. Joel is watching something on his phone. He answers with a growl— Uhm… We think you picked up her underwear thinking it was mine. Have you done the laundry today by any chance? 

Joel then glances up from his phone. He looks at Sarah first and then he looks at me with amused eyes.  

— Really? Yeah I did the laundry twice today. —he looks at Sarah again— Sarah, there’s a round in your room, go check if it’s there.

She turns around and goes to check. I’m going to follow her when Joel grabs my arm, looking me intensely in the eye.

— Come with me. The other round is still inside the dryer. 

I follow him to the laundry room, with my nerves on edge and a growing heat in my stomach. 

— How is it? —Joel asks, bending down searching inside the laundry basket, looking at me from below. Such an interesting view. 

— Uhm… —The idea of describing my underwear to Joel makes the heat in my stomach lower down to my core— It is… Uhm… It is a thong. Dark blue. —I say avoiding his gaze. 

— Lemme search it. —searching through the freshly dried clothes. I can read his tone, he’s having fun with all this. 

After some seconds searching for it Joel stands up and approaches me. He’s way taller than me so he looks at me from above. Suddenly, my lost thong is hanging level with my head, curled around his finger. 

I snatch it from his hand, looking him in the eye, seeing a smirk form in his face. That mouth… The thought of kissing him crosses my mind, I get scared of my own intrusive thoughts. I mutter thank you and head upstairs to finally get changed. I meet with Sarah on the way. Before she asks anything I show her my thong, hanging on my hand. 

— Laundry room. —I state, not letting her answer back as I shut myself up in the bathroom.

What the fuck was all that? Why did I even think about Joel that way? I sit on the bathroom floor, my back facing the door, trying to assimilate what just happened. 

The scene of Joel on his knees looking at me, Joel with my thong curled around his finger. It’s just too much. 

I feel my heart racing, I need to calm down. What unsettles me it’s not the fact of having thought about Joel that way, nor the effect it causes on me. What really unsettles me, now that I can think about it properly, is that I still think it is a good idea. Kissing Joel Miller. Joel Miller the father of my friend, Joel Miller the best friend of my father. Joel Miller, who saw me grow up. 

I get out of the bathroom after some time of reflection. Sarah lies down on her bed and when she sees me she gets up. 

— Wanna watch a movie? —She asks.

I feel bad for saying no, but after all the events I suffered today I rather be alone in my room.

— I’m sorry, Sarah, but I think I should get going now. 

As I speak I can see Joel standing in the hallway. Sarah can’t see him, but he’s intensely observing us, more like observing me. My body starts to freeze under his gaze so I start to gather my stuff. 

— Maybe another day, —I continue— I’m not going back away this time, we have a whole summer ahead of us. 

— Are you being weird because my dad had to give you back your thong? 

My face turns white. Joel is just some steps away from me, he definitely heard that. I don’t even know what to say, I’m speechless. 

— What? No, of course not… —I  stutter— No, I…

— I’m just messing with you. I’m sorry but I’m going to torture you with that event the whole summer. 

I fake a smile. Not because I don’t find her funny, but because the presence of Joel, hearing the whole conversation behind the door makes me lose all concentration I could have. Right now I can only focus on him. 

When I say goodbye to Sarah Joel is already gone, so I just run to the door in case he appears again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m finally at home. My father is already asleep so I put on my pajamas and get in bed, I’m not even hungry after all that happened. 

I can’t fall  asleep. I can only think about Joel, holding my thong; peeking from behind the door; the way he looks at me. Everything he does drives me crazy. I can’t avoid closing my eyes and sliding a hand down my pants, where I need him the most. My fingers caressing the thong he was holding a moment ago. 

Suddenly my phone buzzes. I struggle to find it since my dorm is a mess, full with unorganized stuff to pack. Once I catch it, under a shirt in my bed, I see Dad on the screen. 

— What’s up? —I ask him as I make space to sit.

— Hey, darling. Are you sure you don’t mind taking a taxi at the airport? I wish I could pick you up but you know, work stuff. 

— Dad, it’s fine, don’t worry about it. But I hope you give me back what I spend on the taxi fare —I joke.

— You little skinflint… —he says laughing— I asked Joel, but he’ll be busy too around that time.

The mention of Joel makes my stomach squirm. Tough days are coming. 

I land in Austin after a two-hour flight, I can’t avoid missing California a little. I’d be lying if I said I’m not tired. I’m actually exhausted. The flight wasn’t especially long, but waking up super early, —so I don't have to be running late around the airport— the farewell cry with my college friends and the uncomfortable plane seats destroyed me. Right now I just want to lay on my bed for days. 

I text my dad, letting him know I didn't die in a plane crash or something he could worry about. 

You: Made it safe. Gonna take the taxi.

Dad: 👍

There’s a long distance between Austin’s airport and my house, so that gives me time to close my eyes a little. Once my suitcases are inside the trunk I give the taxi driver my address. I already miss California, I hope I can visit soon.

The taxi ride lasts at least forty minutes, thank God I had my headphones with me and tired eyelids, I don't even remember falling asleep. Zero survival instincts, I know. 

A voice wakes me up.

— Well, we've finally arrived. —he says, stopping the car.

— Where? —I ask, still half asleep. 

— Your house,  —he says holding a laugh— you drifted off as soon as you got in, you must be very tired.

Okay, I made a fool of myself. This man may think I’m dumb as fuck. 

Once I have my suitcases with me I pay and thank him for the ride. I step foot on my front yard, admiring how my father has taken care of it, keeping it beautiful and fresh. Standing in front of the threshold I look for my keys and open the door, knowing I’ll be alone until my father ends his workday. 

The moment I open the door a cozy warmth wafts to my face, followed by the air freshener scent. Everything is dark, why would my father close all the curtains? I get inside, closing the door behind me and as I reach for the light switch a big fuss starts. 

— Surprise!

My eyes adapt to the sudden light and I can see clearly now. My father, Sarah and Joel, grinning from ear to ear and confetti poppers At first I’m in shock, but quickly I start laughing. 

— What’s all this? — I ask with a big  smile that ends up hurting my cheeks. 

— Your welcome home party! — Sarah yelps jumping. Then she grabs confetti and puts it all over my head. 

I part confetti away from my mouth and I approach my father. 

— Busy working, huh? — I laugh pushing him. He shrugs and then we hug as he whispers welcome home, sweetheart. 

Sarah breaks the silence.

— You really thought we wouldn’t be here for you?

— How could I… — I say as I hug her. 

Joel is standing beside Sarah, observing me as reserved as always. I can feel his stare even though my face is buried in Sarah’s hair. When I get off of her Joel leans my way, opening his arms to give me a hug.

— Hey kid. 

It’s not as awkward as it could be. Maybe he forgot? I mean, he was really drunk when the bathroom accident happened, and it took place five months ago. Definitely he must have forgotten it all. 

I smile at him, not being sure about what I should say right now, so I make a joke.

— You look older, like a senior citizen, how long have I been away? 

Joel laughs sarcastically. Eyes deep on mine. 

— You’ve been here for like five minutes and you’re already a pain in the ass,  — He moves a hand over my head, getting rid of leftover confetti poured by Sarah— I’m glad you’re back. — He whispers,making my cheeks burn. 

And with that he backs off, announcing we should get the barbecue started. They all go to the backyard and I take my luggage upstairs to my room. I can’t wait to properly rest now that I’m home. 

I climb on my bed and I stretch every muscle in my body, taking deep breaths as I unintentionally start to fall asleep. It doesn't last long. I open my eyes to someone knocking on my door. 

— Can I come in?

It’s Joel. 

— Yes, go ahead. — I say as I sit up straight. 

He opens the door and leans on the door frame, hands on his pockets —as usual— He silently stares at me and I start to get a little nervous. 

— Is everything alright? —I subtly ask.

— Oh, yeah yeah, don’t worry, —he shifts his gaze to the floor— your dad wants you to know that if you don’t come outside now you won’t have anything to eat later. 

I sigh and lay again on the bed, closing my eyes. 

— I'll be right down, just give me a sec. Don’t eat all the food, I need a real meal after all this time eating shitty college food. 

He doesn't respond. In fact, I think he’s gone when I open my eyes, but he’s still there. He clears his throat. 

— Listen, kid. —He says lowering his tone— About last Christmas… I don’t know if you remember but, I walked in on you. I didn’t mean to, I promise I didn't see anything. Your dad and I were two sheets to the wind and I needed to use the bathroom, I had no idea you were inside.  

Shit. He remembers. 

My heart skips a beat and suddenly I’m out of words.

— I, —stuttering— don’t know what you’re talking about. 

He lets out a slight, sarcastic laugh. My body shivers. 

— Sure. That’s why you can’t even look me in the eye? —he comes closer to me. 

— What are you talking about? Of course I can look at you. —I respond, highly offended. 

— Without getting all flushed I meant.

And then, just as if my body wanted to prove him right, I start to feel my whole face go red. I open my mouth to say something but I simply cannot. Joel looks satisfied over me.  

A life-saving action from the universe comes to save me, as Sarah yells downstairs food’s gonna get cold! 

He offers me a hand to get out of bed and I take it. As soon as I step foot on the floor I outrun Joel, avoiding the most shameful talk I’ve ever had in my whole life. 

I get welcomed in the backyard by the scent of homemade barbecue. My father in his apron, —the one I got him in California, decorated with the state’s outline— Sarah texting someone on her phone. 

I sit next to her, I sneak a peek on her phone and I see the name Alex on it, it seems like we have something to gossip about later. 

My father and Sarah talk the most while we eat, Joel and I have always been more quiet, listeners we could say, and that’s how it’s done almost the whole lunch. Suddenly Sarah starts looking at me with a funny face. 

— Sooo… —she starts, still looking at me— Don’t you have anything to tell us? 

— Me? Uh…

— I don’t know, something about some Ethan boy —a smirk forms on her face. 

My eyes shift to Joel’s out of reflex, he stopped looking at his plate to look at me. My ears start to get red. 

— I think I can ask something similar, Sarah —I say as I adjust in my seat— Something about some Alex boy? —I counterattack. 

She didn’t expect that, it’s noticeable how her face completely changes from amusement to embarrassment. 

Our fathers look at each other in disbelief. That look fathers give when they discover their daughters aren’t little girls anymore. Joel is holding a beer against his lips but isn’t drinking, he’s staring at us with a death stare. My father is doing almost the same thing, holding a fork with meat on it close to his mouth but frozen in time. He breaks the silence first.

— What’s going on? —he asks— You two have boyfriends now or something? 

Sarah and I look at each other, bursting out laughing. 

— Answer. —Joel orders us. 

— It’s nothing, —I say with a laugh— no need to explain it cause it’s nothing.

Joel keeps looking at us with a serious gaze, but at least now he has taken a sip from his beer. My father is taking it more friendly. 

— You and I will talk later at home, smartass —says Joel to Sarah. 

She looks at me, asking for help. I shrug.

— I can’t do anything —I whisper to her as I hand her a plate with meat— eat now that you can, you’re probably going to be grounded in your room until you turn twenty-five. 

— Keep an eye on your daughter, Miller —my father teases—  I fear we’ll have to put two more seats this Christmas. 

Joel answers with a growl and gets up to clear the table. He then disappears into the kitchen. 

— I think he didn’t find it funny —my father tells us with a laugh. 

It’s later now. I’m finally in my bed and Joel and Sarah are back home. I pick up my phone to text Sarah. 

You: Did he really chew you out?

I feel bad for snitching on her, but it was a better option than speaking about Ethan. 

It is real that there’s nothing going on with Ethan. He’s from college, English lit. And we’ve hooked up a couple of times. Nothing serious, I don’t even like him that much, but he’s a great companion. He’s fun, smart, and has a firm grasp on things. I’m not gonna lie, he’s hot as fuck too. 

Sarah texts back quickly.

Sarah: He gave me the worst sex talk of my life.

Sarah: He grabbed a condom and started showing me how to open it.

Sarah: He even insisted that I put it on a banana. 

Sarah: The most awkward moment of my life. 

I can’t hold back a laugh at the thought of Joel Miller teaching Sarah how to use a condom. I’m going to remember that moment for the rest of her life. 

Sarah: He also asked about you.

You: About me?

Sarah: About your relationship with Ethan. Didn’t want to tell him much, just in case he snitches on your father. 

 Joel Miller asking his daughter about my lovelife. For some reason, the simple thought of him being jealous causes a reaction in me. One I shouldn’t be having. 

Maybe it’s all made up in my head, but the way he was looking at me in this same room… It’s not the way you look at your best friend’s daughter, that’s for sure.