A Nice Friendly Blog.

love starting a new show about ✨girls✨ and ✨drama✨ and then by the second episode there’s literally murder. I love women!!!!

Great time to start pricing this out by the way, fire season starts… on the summer solstice this year, that’s fun. Signs point to it being a doozy.

imagine cloth mother and wire mother in family court competing for custody of the baby monkey

I Have Softness For You

i have milk for you

Stop.

Cut the baby monkey in half

I can do it. I can write a chapter. I am capable of putting sentences together. I know what a comma is. I am Aware of the Character.

"smart appliances" fuck u i want them dumb as a brick and incidentally as sturdy and enduring

Give me HIMBO appliances. Beautiful. Huge. Hardworking. Nigh indestructible. Stupid as the day is long.

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

imagine if that's the date it finally happens

hey you kind of set off my prey drive. wanna get out of here ? you first

Wait hold up this is awesome. So not because I'm ugly?

"the best laid plans" "i'm hatching a plan" so a plan is a type of egg ? 🥚

Transcript: Yesterday my cousin said that my rooster wasn't a real rooster. He said he's a Walmart rooster. *chicken noises* Does this not look like a real rooster to you? *chicken makes a sound again* Sure, he's small, but he has feelings.

important context this person looks and sounds like they’re gonna cry

Also important to note that the rooster appears to be roughly the size of a large pigeon.

The pigeon people have informed me he is the size of a normal pigeon, or perhaps even a small pigeon. Fucking rip.

[from behind my hand] Get a load in this guy

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