Heres to teenage memories

Louis @ David Beckham: “Now I’m one step closer to being two steps far from you.”

TODAY I WAS RUNNING AND THIS MINIVAN DROVE PAST ME AND SOME LIKE 14 YEAR OLD BOY YELLED OUT THE WINDOW SOMETHING LIKE “RUN FAT ASS” AND HIS MOTHER TURNED THE CAR AROUND AND MADE HIM RUN LIKE 5 BLOCKS WITH ME WHILE SHE DROVE NEXT TO US I ALMOST SLIPPED FROM LAUGHING SO HARD

this stupid fucking post got screenshotted and put on Facebook with my name blurred out and middle aged moms are praising it. I’ve successfully created a mom meme. I am no better than a minion. good bye.

BUDDY

I’m so grateful that alcohol doesn’t taste good bc if it did I would probably be dead

You’re not drinking the right alcoholic beverages my friend. There are wines that taste like peaches grown in the dew of heaven. There are beers that taste like a perfectly rosy red juicy grapefruit. There are liqueurs that taste like candy made from a secret opiate form of sugar. There are liquors that taste like cake and liquors that taste like a rich warm man wrapping you in his rustic arms as he vows his slow aged fortune to you. You are not drinking the right alcohol my friend. I could make you cocktails that would get your panties wet and shots that would make you see stars. Someone with an imagination and mixology experience, get this person to a liquor store stat. They have yet to truly live.

what the fuck is happening on my post could you chill have you ever had rubinoff

This marriage is so dry……

Lmfao white people marriages look dry asf

Why did I find this funny lmao.