the demon i am on a first date with: i should apologize ahead of time. see my horns are so huge and majestic that i cannot put a shirt on. i am cursed to never have a shirt on so you can always see my (large) torso. i understand that might be rude me: dang. i am sorry for your situation. we will just have to try make the best of it

what’s good about this is that our demon here COULD wear a button down, but this has clearly never occurred to them which indicates that they’re a himbo too

Me, staring at shirtless himbo demon and taking off my own shirt: oh my god, you’re so fucking stupid

im going to rearrange your cells so that your taint is the biggest part of your body

I need this to be watched by the masses.

This is the simplest explination ever and people still don’t wanna hear it.

she was denied bail reduction in yesterday’s hearing! Donate & re-share!

me, tossing mediocre content into the internet void: Validate Me

I just wanna be the girl of someone’s dreams ya know

i’ll stop making jokes about dying when i’m dead

I’ve been watching this for 10 minutes and it still doesn’t stop being funny

everybody has that one fictional character that they irrationally adore above all others and will defend to the death and you just get super happy and excited whenever you see their face on your dash

one time my friends and i got bubble tea and my one friend didn’t know abt the tapioca pearls and he took a sip and then opened his mouth and let like 9 of them roll out of his mouth and onto the floor and then whispered “what the fuck”