I Don't Really Wanna Talk It Out

I think I get what Josh meant when he wrote Heavy Soul. Mine feels like it weighs a fucking tonne.

I’m the one that’s completely heartbroken, and yet I’m comforting him. Typical.

Oh god. It hurts. It hurts so fucking much. Help.

I knew 700 years of relative happiness was suspicious. Turns out it was the price I was going to have to pay for the people I care about most turning on me.

I know you’re probably doing this to test me, make sure I won’t turn on you like they did, or something. But please. Stop. I don’t know how much more I can take before you completely break me.

It’s really starting to feel like you don’t love me. Honestly, why the fuck did you even marry me? So it would hurt more when you attacked me?

I know he said it as part of a joke about him dying, but hearing him say ‘loving husband’ makes my gut clench in the best way possible.

I feel like I know what you want, but don’t at the same time. You want me to control you, but to what extent? What parts of your life do you need me to take over? How do I know when you want to handle something yourself? We really need to talk this out before I have a nervous breakdown.

This conversation is making me so angry. I don’t like being angry. But, dammit, you broke my brother, hold yourself accountable instead of bleating excuses at me.

Funny how he accused me of throwing tantrums all the time, yet that's his favourite way to get out of a conversation he doesn't like.

You used to care. You said you always would.

So many songs hurt to listen to now. So many of my own songs hurt to sing.

@zombiexblood That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for taking the time to explain it all, love.

I keep catching myself feeling what I can only describe as a paternal protectiveness towards Bryson, which in turn makes me feel like the world’s biggest idiot.