Just thinking about the way that Buffy and Angel are each other’s touchstone throughout both series. When they’re together, they find comfort, companionship, understanding and love in each other even when they’re going through bad times. And then when they break up, they both have their own lives but every time they make it through a rough patch, they run to see each other and it helps them get back to center.
In the Yoko Factor, they come together after a few failed attempts at navigating a post-breakup dynamic. They establish a new phase in their relationship, defined by understanding, respect, and friendship.
In Forever, Buffy needs someone to lean on after her mother’s death and Angel shows up for her, offering her a safe space to talk about her inner thoughts, which she often hesitates to share with anyone else, out of fear of being unable to shoulder her responsibilities if she allows herself to break down, because she has so much on her plate that she doesn’t know if she can put herself back together after. Having him there allowed her a moment to express her grief, her guilt, her fears, without having to worry about burdening him because he’s the only one she knows can shoulder those responsibilities as well as she can. I believe her when she says that she wouldn’t have been able to make it through the night without him and I believe that her breakthrough with Dawn at the end of the episode happened because of the relief that she got out of her night with Angel.
Angel also had just gone through a very dark period in his own life and was still trying to put the pieces back together with his people but he shows up because he knows how important Joyce was to Buffy and he knows that she needs him there by her side to help her get through this. I truly believe that that reunion centred him just as much as it did Buffy. His first act of kindness after his epiphany was showing up for the first person who had ever shown him kindness and the person who taught him that “Strong is fighting. It’s hard and it’s painful and it’s everyday. It’s what we have to do and we can do it together", a concept that he himself had just rediscovered when he realized that “If nothing we do matters then all that matters is what we do”.
And then their post resurrection meeting. We may not know what happened during that meeting, but we do know that they both dropped everything to see each other because Buffy died and Angel mourned and they both needed that touchstone after she came back because they’re still so important to each other.
Finally, we have End of days/Chosen. This was the longest period of time they had gone without seeing each other, almost 2 years. During that time apart, they had both gone through some pretty horrifying things, so it was only right that they come together after to center themselves. This reunion actually makes so much sense, contrary to what people might say. Angel had just given up his son, his friend was in a coma and he had just signed up to run an evil law firm. But he still went to Sunnydale to help Buffy. He went back to do the one thing he knows how to do best: fight by her side, shoulder to shoulder. He put all of his issues aside for a moment and went back to the feeling that Buffy has always brought out in him: inspiration and hope. As for Buffy, she has the weight of the world on her shoulders once again in the fight against The First but when Angel arrives we see her light up for the first time in a long time. She laughs and quips. She talks about her inner thoughts and feelings in ways she hasn’t talked about in a very long time. We find out more about her feelings for Sp*ke, her feelings about herself and her future from her one conversation with Angel than any of the conservations she’s had with her friends and family. He’s always been THAT person for her and that has never changed.
I just believe that at the end of the day, these are two people whose bond is a vital part of who they are, whether they’re together or apart. So it’s really not surprising to me that they would pick up where they left off every time they come together again and that they would be each other’s touchstone over the years, even when their lives couldn’t be more separate, they always somehow find their way back to each other.
