goodbye my moonlight

putting the fact that the "staggering waste of carbon" part of him never left aside (crash out in the first properly equipped lab you've been in for years in front of world leaders because there was water in the alien cell? iconic), there is such a huge character development arc there that we never got to see. how did he go from such a strong-opinionated, never-let-you-hear-the-end-of-his-theory grace to a grace that's somewhat beat down by life, that's embarrassed by his proudest achievement for the first (probably) 26-30ish years of his life? what happened to this guy between getting kicked out of academia and being recruited by stratt in a middle school classroom he has, no doubt, spent years cultivating in every way? what did he think of himself when he first lost his chance at academia? did he spend days, weeks, months wallowing? what made him commit to the change?

In the book, Eva most probably gets thrown to the ground by the explosion. As soon as she recovers, the very first person she calls out to is Grace, asking if he's okay.

Alright, maybe that's just because she knows he's the closest person to her.

But that's not what sticks with me.

What sticks with me is what she does next.

She physically goes to him before reaching for her radio to find out what actually happened.

And I kept asking myself: why?

Grace already answered. He said he was alright.

So why not grab the radio immediately? Why not assess the situation first?

Why did she have to go to him?

Because she needed to make sure he was actually okay.

Because she needed to see with her own eyes that he was still there.

Because maybe, no matter what had just happened, she knew she could deal with it as long as he was still there.

Before anything else, she needed to know that Grace was safe.

I actually can't with Eva.

Then there's the movie.

There's a small movement Sandra Hüller makes that you could interpret as Stratt checking on Ryland for a split second before she runs toward the explosion.

But what really gets me is Ryland.

Stratt takes off running without a second thought. It's dangerous. They don't even know what happened yet, but she runs toward the explosion like her life depends on it.

And Grace follows her.

This is the same man who's defined by his fear. The same man who believes he's a coward. The same man who couldn't willingly sacrifice himself for humanity.

Yet when Eva runs straight toward danger...

...he runs after her.

It's the first time we see him willingly throw himself into a dangerous situation without her forcing him or cornering him into it.

It's his own choice.

His instinct isn't to run away.

His instinct is to follow her.

but, due to the fog of the amnesia, then the urgency of the mission plus Rocky's appearance, Grace doesn't fully look through every box until they're on their way to Erid. and that's when Rocky wakes up from sleep to see Grace sobbing over a bunch of letters. students telling him how much they enjoyed his class, actually made learning fun and interesting. got them through tough days. made them feel seen and appreciated. quite a few cite his class as being the spark that got them interested in science as a career. and even those that didn't still consider him the best teacher they ever had. fellow teachers admiring his classroom management and lesson planning, and even so his kindness to every student who walked into his room.

one letter is from the principal. when Dr. Grace's involvement in the Hail Mary Project became public knowledge, there was a push from the community to rename the school after him. after discussions with the school board, there had been a secret agreement to do so, even had a new sign made. they were just waiting for him to be released from the project and return to San Fransisco to surprise him. but, with the recent news of his "noble sacrifice", they'd gone ahead and done it. attached the press release with a picture of the new sign, a bunch of his former students standing around it, beaming. a local artist has been commissioned to add a mural to the front entrance over the summer break. and a final note: "Do your work knowing that it will allow the Dr. Ryland Grace Middle School to continue to educate and inspire students for generations."