winterhail

my homunculus just wasted like $60 in ink printing out all these fucking soyjack edits of me. how about 'that feel when i dont feed you for a week' you little asshole

when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

I love this website I love it when people tell us what's wrong with them

theres an assumption that if an alien has an alien gender system they wouldnt understand homophobia but maybe they just have their own more complex version of homophobia. alien society with eight genders and a horribly complex web of what is considered socially acceptable that makes the gender binary look like easy mode. i'm inventing homophobia 2 and it's terrible.

just accepted something i can’t change #yasss

"you can jack off you can eat grapes all else banned" is kind of the post of the summer because literally wtf else are you supposed to do once it’s 30°C outside

My work says work and I'd rather eat grapes

Pirate’s booty, Pirate’s penis, Pirate’s balls. All treasure.

i should quit my job and search for the golden ant

its actually going pretty well

“Everyone has the same 24h” yeah right buddy say that to cavefish

i dont think my homunculus is coming back from this one

i'm a little tutorial fairy and i flutter around after you and go like "remember, turning on your lantern can improve visibility in dark places!" but then suddenly i feel like i'm being annoying and i get really quiet and distant for the next three hours

All my doubters become routers when I admin the network of success

the number one baby name of the century is... formaldehyde!