Their tutor Aristotle described friendship as âone soul abiding in two bodiesâ. That they themselves considered their friendship to be of such a kind is shown by the stories of the morning after the battle of Issus. Diodorus, Arrian and Curtius all describe the scene when Alexander and Hephaestion went together to visit the captured Persian royal family. Its senior member, the queen Sisygambis, knelt to Hephaestion to plead for their lives, having mistaken him for Alexander because he was taller, and both young men were wearing similar clothes. When she realized her mistake she was acutely embarrassed, but Alexander pardoned her, saying âYou were not mistaken, Mother; this man too is Alexander.â
Their love for each other was no secret, as is borne out by their own words. Hephaestion, when replying to a letter to Alexanderâs mother, Olympias, said âyou know that Alexander means more to us than anythingâ.
Arrian says that Alexander, after Hephaestionâs death, described him as âthe friend I valued as my own lifeâ.Paul Cartledge describes their closeness when he says: âAlexander seems actually to have referred to Hephaestion as his alter ego.â
For Alexander to marry a daughter of Darius made good political sense, allying himself firmly with the Persian ruling class, but for Hephaestion to marry her sister shows the high esteem in which Alexander held him, bringing him into the royal family itself. They became brothers-in-law, and yet there was more to it than that. Alexander, says Arrian âwanted to be uncle to Hephaestionâs childrenâ. Thus it is possible to imagine Alexander and Hephaestion hoping that their respective offspring might unite their lines.
Hephaestionâs death is dealt with at greater length by the ancient sources than any of the events of his life, because of its profound effect upon Alexander. As Andrew Chugg says, âit is surely incredible that Alexanderâs reaction to Hephaestionâs death could indicate anything other than the closest relationship imaginableâ. In the context of the nature of their relationship however, one stands out as remarkable. Arrian says that Alexander âflung himself on the body of his friend and lay there nearly all day long in tears, and refused to be parted from him until he was dragged away by force by his Companionsâ. Plutarch says that âAlexanderâs grief was uncontrollableâ and adds that he ordered many signs of mourning, notably that the manes and tails of all horses should be shorn, the demolition of the battlements of the neighbouring cities and the banning of flutes and every other kind of music; another that said âhe lay stretched upon the corpse all day and the whole night tooâ, and another which told how he had the doctor, Glaucias, executed for his lack of care. Arrian also mentions Alexander ordering the shrine of Asclepios in Ecbatana to be razed to the ground,and that he cut his hair short in mourning, this last a poignant reminder of Achillesâ last gift to Patroclus on his funeral pyre: âhe laid the lock of hair in the hands of his beloved companion, and the whole company was moved to tearsâ.
Another hint that Alexander looked to Achilles to help him to express his grief may be found in the campaign, shortly following these events, against a tribe called the Cossaeans. Plutarch says they were massacred as an offering to the spirit of Hephaestion and it is quite possible to imagine that to Alexander this might have followed in spirit Achillesâ killing of âtwelve high-born youthsâ beside Patroclusâ funeral pyre.
Arrian states that all his sources agree that âfor two whole days after Hephaestionâs death Alexander tasted no food and paid no attention in any way to his bodily needs but lay on his bed now crying lamentably, now in the silence of griefâ. Alexander ordered a period of mourning throughout the empire. Arrian tells us that âMany of the Companions, out of respect for Alexander, dedicated themselves and their arms to the dead manâ. The army, too, remembered him; Alexander did not appoint anyone to take Hephaestionâs place as commander of the Companion cavalry; he âwished Hephaestionâs name to be preserved always in connection with it, so Hephaestionâs Regiment it continued to be called, and Hephaestionâs image continued to be carried before itâ.
Alexander sent messengers to the oracle at Siwa to ask if Amon would permit Hephaestion to be worshipped as a god. When the reply came saying he might be worshipped not as a god, but as a divine hero, Alexander was pleased and âfrom that day forward saw that his friend was honoured with a heroâs ritesâ. He saw to it that shrines were erected to Hephaestionâs memory, and evidence that the cult took hold can be found in a simple votary plaque now in Archaeological Museum of Thessaloniki, inscribed, âTo the Hero Hephaestionâ.
One final tribute remained, and it is compelling in its simplicity and in what it reveals about the high esteem in which Hephaestion was held by Alexander. On the day of the funeral, he gave orders that the sacred flame in the temple should be extinguished. Normally, this was only done on the death of the Great King himself.