Only Sam, the Funeral Lord

dishonored 1 is literally 2 dollars on steam right now blease do yourself a favor and acquire/play it if you haven't already

I've had nintendo consoles my whole literally 30+ years of life. I remember when external memory cards were a thing and you could take your game and play exactly where you left off on any console you wanted. Now, you cannot transfer certain saves legitly between consoles. That's my data, I played those games completely legit, I should be able to transfer it to a new console. But when I try? It's lost. Hours of Pokemon Sword and Arcues erased because I tried to upgrade my gaming to an OLED model and nintendo is so fucking weird about people duplicating their pokemon data they'd rather fuck you over instead. I have my New Horizon island on my old switch and there's no way to move it to my new one. I've had the old switch since launch, once it dies that work is gone.

What about a MicroSD, you may ask? Yes I have one of those. I tried moving all my save data onto it and thought 'oh certainly I'll be able to move it this way' because how fucking useless and stupid would it be otherwise? But no, try to plug the microsd into the new switch with, again, my damn saved data and the new switch says "hey can't help but notice you've used this microsd on a different switch system already, we'll just have to reformat it before you can use it on this system. Cool? Cool."

Fuck that shit. Fuck Nintendo for managing to unintuitive-ify their systems. Fuck them for not even having the decency to make physical cartridges anymore.

Easy as can be, perfect apartment dweller

Might take some convincing

Basically a coin flip

It will be an uphill battle but I might be able to, while saying goodbye to my deposit

No increased rent, deposit or argument could convince any landlord to let us in

Kurt Vonnegut wrote: “When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of “getting to know you” questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject? And I told him, no I don’t play any sports. I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.

And he went WOW. That’s amazing! And I said, “Oh no, but I’m not any good at ANY of them.”

And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: “I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”

change the color used to highlight text on your laptop

move the pictures on your wall

stack whatever clutter is in your room into piles even if you don’t have time to clean it all

slightly vary your commute, even just by one street

change where you sit and scroll aimlessly on your phone even if it’s only to the chair in your room instead of your bed

drink water or juice out of a wine glass in the morning because nothing is real

shower with the lights off, without music

buy $3 flowers at trader joe’s—they look bad next to the more expensive ones but they look so good in your room

start typing things you don’t post into your notes. your thoughts can be worth documenting even if you don’t deem them worth sharing

wake up super early just once. you don’t have to make it a habit it’s just extra satisfying to go to bed that night

The other day I was feeling miserable, so I hopped on a bus and rode it all the way back to where I’d started, and my brain, which had finally had some proper stimulation via new environments, was suddenly ready to go again!

and not just when it comes to advertisements using 'sexy' models to try and sell you stuff, but like. in general

sex as a favor, sex as a bribe, sex in exchange for whatever

casual sex, 'friends with benefits' situations, even simple flirting

it all looks a whole lot different from the perspective of someone who's immune to manipulation via sex appeal, who has virtually no understanding as to why sex would motivate someone to cheat on their partner, etc. etc.

sex is worthless to me

i mean, it's useful as a story element in fiction, but it genuinely perplexes me that sex is such a driving force behind so many aspects of irl society & of people's individual lives, for better or for worse

and that it's so deeply ingrained into how the average person views the world & various situations, because the average person feels sexual attraction, whereas i do not

It took a while to view sex in any sort of positive light and not just something that made me uncomfortable. Not to say I thought less of anyone who more naturally enjoyed or craved or appreciate it, it was just something I would try to avoid being anywhere near. And doing so getting into your twenties when the world around you felt so comfortable with it was a quick way to feel immature and childish. I'm glad I eased myself into the mental examination that lets me now view it as either a way for people to feel closer or really just an activity others find fun, both of which are valid. Even if I still would like nothing to do with either.

And even now I'm only recently learning how to utilize sex as a narrative tool in writing. And it has been twice the uphill climb with me threading the needle of my own comfort and sounding at all good, while also trying to parse how characters who would be allo would feel about any of it. Because I do not feel anything about sex specifically. I don't really get feeling horny about anything or anyone, hell I still feel like a poser when I call a person or character 'hot' because when I say they're hot I mean aesthetically pleasing or beautiful and plenty of other people say hot as in 'wanna hit that or imagine hitting that or would be down to hit something in the vein of that'.

Thank you for putting that awkwardness into words.