I Do Not Have A Tumblr

I have no idea what this is - Google gives me nothing but the ebay listing - so I'm going to assume its a professional bootleg. Or as a friend calls it "The German War Machine" (as a great number of professionally pressed bootlegs come from that country). It could also be a radio promo set - my mother worked in radio for 30 years, so we use to get weird promo albums floating around the house, even some press kits they'd use to splice together interviews with - but they were usually very bare bones, often lacking in any artwork. So I'm going to presume, again, this is a bootleg.

But I had a dream last night about this set (weird) that also involved me opening it up and finding Christmas lights inside (???) for "ambient mood while listening to the album" (???).

I woke up this morning to see the vendor sent me a 55% off coupon. So I pulled the trigger.

It was 1996 and I was 14 and randomly got a postcard in the mail. I never got mail at that age. But it was this same ad for Gillian Anderson's first private signing. I have no idea how they got my name and address (maybe I wrote to FOX / The X-Files at some point?) but I remember being FLOORED that someone did the math and sent me this.

I told my mother, in no uncertain terms, if we were related by blood or God, she would get me one for Christmas (as my birthday had just passed). I have a vague memory of her laughing out of mild derision and surprise at my demanding tone. But sure enough, that Christmas, my mom had gotten it and put it in a $30 frame and wrapped it up months before December.

I do not remember how I found out she got it - but I remember weeks before Christmas, undoing the scotch tape with the gentle practiced hand of a watchmaker, and slowly pulling the box out with the patience of a master safe-cracker. I sat on the floor and stared at it, not unlike the reason they put benches in art museums. My most ardent teenage wish.

This photo (though my inscription was in blue ink, not black).

God, my crush on her was so wild and complete and consuming that it informed me of not only my type of woman (short, redhead, smarter than me, gentle but has no issue kicking me in the shins if I deserve it) but also how I would express myself with future partners (adoration, strong romantic language, more "big swings" than anything "grounded").

One of my closest friends of nearly 30 years is being threatened by and it feels like she’s going to be murdered by her ex.

I wish I was making this up but he has a history of alcohol and amphetamine abuse. He trashed their living room into kindling a few years ago. Maybe lit the garage on fire in purpose. Threatened her with a boot knife in front of their preteen kid (she kicked him out for this).

But because he’s the father, he’s still in the picture, even if they’re not together. But last night, apparently after a bender, he called her up and held a gun to his head over the phone and pulled the trigger. We don’t know if he missed, or shot the floor on purpose or what, but he’s “fine”.

He’s currently in a psych hold but that’s only 48 to 72 hours, so he could be out tomorrow.

I’m afraid he’s going to murder her and/or their kid.

Not in the sense that “he’s going to march over there first thing after discharge” - but in the sense that this feels inevitable now.

If he had a habit of turning inward and just did it to himself, I wouldn’t blink an eye. I’d feel bad for their kid not having a father but there comes a point where a father THAT bad is worse than not having one.

But right now it’s 2:30 am and all I can think is “He’s going to murder her”.

He’s going to murder her. I met her in high school and he’s going to fucking take her from me.

I hate to frame my anxiety and sadness in such a needy way but it’s the way it’s expressing its self right now.

And before y’all jump in with the usual “she should cut him out” stuff, believe me, I’ve tried for years. The guy is a red flag factory that doesn’t close.

And she has eldest daughter syndrome and (very stereotyping but accurate) daddy issues. And she’s perpetuating the cycle. And if you’ve seen someone do this, you know even when it’s pointed out, they can’t help themselves.

He’s going to murder her. I met her in high school and loved her more than anyone else who’s ever come through in my life and he’s going to break her.

Lauren Cohan is doing an autograph event later this year, and try as I might, I could not find a high resolution copy of her MAXIM photoshoot without the print / interview on it. So I turned to Reddit's photoshoprequest for help. Some hours after the request was fulfilled, someone added this to the end of the request thread.