mike

✦   “FUCK HER HARDER next time,” one comment reads. “i would’ve made the slut choke on it,” declares another. it’s a shame that the crude and cruel remarks barely phase you anymore. under every video you post, there are tons of them. anonymous digs at your looks, or maybe a detailed description of how they’d have fucked you if they got the chance. or, if you happened to be flying solo in a video, comments about how you shook as you came, as if you didn’t fucking know that. (the title of the video in question was “edging myself until i shake”, so yeah, you’re pretty aware of how fucking shaky you were).

whatever.

you take another bite of your crunchwrap supreme, barely bothering to check if you were spilling food on your shirt. it wouldn’t be the first stain on your clothing, certainly won’t be the last… laid back on the couch, you hold your phone over your face, the light from the screen illuminating your every feature. some might think of this as a sad life, posting porn online for quick cash while still working a day job. some might think of it as a power move, using the ever-growing population of porn addicted losers to help pay your apartment’s rent. you tried not think of it as too much of either. truthfully, you tried not to think too hard about it all.

it’s only in these quiet times, times when your roommates’ have both left for work (which is often, considering they work at the local er), times when you’re not just alone but lonely as well, that you end up thinking about your work in the form of doomscrolling through your own comment sections.

“love that ass!” “literally prime goonbait!!!” “my favorite slut on here. an amateur, but i kind of like that.” “does she do birthdays????”

you’re almost amused by that one.

“creamy, dreamy pussy >>>>” “in the next video can you sit on a cake? you can stay clothed :) just show the view from the front and back.” “i wish i could keep a foid like her chained in my basement so i could fuck her whenever i wanted…”

surprisingly— depressingly, really— that last comment isn’t the one that makes you pause. it’s an offer two or three comments down that stands out, causing you to raise your eyebrow and set your crunchwrap down the nearby ottoman coffee table.

“hey there. if you’re looking for extra money, we’d love to work with you at dirtydoctor.com. we’re a niche medical fetish site with hundreds of thousands of users already, searching for fresh patients for our little hospital. we focus on staged roleplay experiences and feature real doctors against people like you to ensure realism. if you’re interested, send us a message. we’d love to have you visit our doctors in your area soon. :)”

the profile picture of the user isn’t the anonymous, grey blob you’re used to. in fact, accurate to their message, their profile picture showcases a group of smiling doctors, all varying in race, gender, and even age. their username, dirtydoctor.com, only reinforces the comment. if it’s a scam, it’s a well-made one. if it’s not, well…

careful not to like the comment, you switch tabs on your phone’s browser and begin to look into the offer. as it turns out, dirtydoctor.com is a real site. the videos are all there, although there’s not many of them. in each video, there’s one of three patients: a young, south asian woman who seems to play into the trope of a nerd with no sexual experience, a fit, blonde guy who seems to go both ways (for the camera, at least, he does), and a black woman who’s always dressed in pink, a real-life barbie doll. it’s an interesting lineup already, and still, they’re looking to add you into the patient rotation.

another thing you notice rather quickly about the videos is the doctors. they’re all wildly attractive. there’s men and women, everyone catering to different fetishes and dynamics on top of the medical kink. you watch, thighs pressed together, as an older, ginger-haired woman curls her fingers deep inside of that aforementioned black woman. her hand goes to hold the doctor’s shoulder, pink nails biting into the blue of the older woman’s work uniform.

“it’s okay, babygirl,” the doctor coos, “you’re nice and tight, nice and healthy… just a little more examination, alright sweetpea?”

fuck, if you’re not soaked. for the first time in a long time, you feel the genuine urge to touch yourself, fingertips trailing down to the waistband of your pants before slipping underneath and gliding further down. she’s just so… so hot….

✦   ONE ORGASM LATER, and your head is suddenly clear and focused on business again. after washing your own stickiness off your fingers and cleaning yourself up down there, you settle onto the couch once more. figuring that the site’s clearly legit, you decide to switch back to the tab still opened on that comment under your video.

it’s a tame fetish, all things considered. at least, all the videos seemed pretty tame. the doctor’s are hot, the other patients seem fine… before you know it, you’ve already sent them a message. money is money; work is work. you’d decided that a long time ago. it only helps that the work happened to involve actually sexy people this time instead of people you had to fake attraction to.

“hello dirtydoctor.com. i’ve decided that i am interested in working with anyone you might have in the pittsburgh area. my schedule’s flexible, but i opt for evenings when shooting content. early mornings are second best. it would be preferable if a meeting could be set up before any content is shot so that i can speak with one of your doctors and lay down some ground rules.”

while waiting on a reply, you finish the rest of your crunchwrap, licking your fingers clean before drying them with a nearby crumpled up napkin. tiktok manages to capture and keep your attention for about an hour or so before you remember to check on that dm you’d sent. turns out, they’d messaged you back right away.

“greetings, patient four! we have several dirty doctors in the pittsburgh area that we think would suit you. we love your eagerness! a meeting will be set up as soon as you’re matched with your first one. please fill out the following form to be matched in accordance to your preferences…”

✦   BY THE NEXT morning, your new employers at dirtydoctors.com have sent you a legal contract to look over and three partners that would suit you best for your first video. the digital paperwork, as thrilling as it may be, is immediately ignored in favor of browsing through the short candidate profiles they’ve sent you.

"DOCTOR L: a playful personality perfect for beginners like you. pure switch. enjoys eye contact. very verbal. also caters to somnophilia, intoxication, and more."

              . . .

"DOCTOR M: a stronger personality, but careful with beginners. flows between soft dom and hard dom. also caters to dumbification, mommy kinks, and more."

              . . .

"NURSE E: of course, we have nurses, too. be careful with her. hard dom. caters to more aggressive, degrading kinks, but offers wonderful aftercare off screen."

doctor l, doctor m, and nurse e… their names must be hidden for privacy’s sake. you don’t recall hearing any names in the videos, although it’s not like you were paying much attention to the details of the dialogue in the first place. they all seem quite charming, each with their own perks. indecision creeps up on you the more that you look at each profile, your eyes darting between the two women and then to the man, and then back to doctor m— wait. you realize, suddenly, that she was the doctor from that video you jerked off to, a fact that only makes the decision harder.

how could you go out for coffee with a woman whose voice you masturbated to? a small voice in the back of your head chimes in. it would be less embarrassing to just fuck her, honestly!

ignoring the familiar tune of anxiety, you decide it would be best to give yourself a day or so to make the decision. you’re sure you’ll be passed around to each of them at one point, anyways, so there’s no wrong answer… right? right. right, right, right.

you let out a small huff and go back onto tiktok, still in the mood to doomscroll. with every video you watch, the pressure of the decision slowly melts away, leaving your head numb. clip after clip, reaction after reaction, you scroll, filling your head with nothing and everything at once. there’s little processing going on, just pure consumption; it’s like eating out of boredom, taking in more stimulation than you need just to have something else to do.

and sure, some might think of it as a sad way to finish out your night. sure, others might think of it as a simple way to comfort yourself.

but, just the same as with most things, you preferred not to think too hard about it at all.

jaded numb pornstar reader my newest beloved… this is the beginning for (hopefully) a series! obvi it’s gonna be pretty smut heavy butttt i have a few ideas outside of that, too. i’ve just decided to start with frank cassie and dana, although i plan on introducing more characters later (and some are already implied in this piece, just unnamed).