Have you had your first kiss? OR Eat a spoon full of mustard
â my first kiss ? aye , iâve had that . she was a fancy gal from some old manâs house down the way . he was a real lordly type . yâknow what i mean , with the moustache and private cars and acres of land he donât tend to himself . landlord type . mayor , i think . she always did her hair up nice anâ pretty when she came to visit me for her pantry supplies for the week . iâd go and put some right pretty flowers in her curls when she read for the inventory list . now , her mama was one of those suffragettes . real strong lady , and she got it from her . sheâd go on such tirades ,
.. anyhow , she told me she likes my trousers , and i said thank you maâam , i like your hair ribbons . they were all white and lacy , and iâd have sworn sheâd have stolen them off a brideâs veil if i didnât know she was up to her chin in good money .  --- i remember it like yesterday , at least . prettiest girl i ever did see . hair real dark like, and sheâd paint her lips a bonny bright red --- said it was all the fashion in london . i said why on earth sheâd ever wanna go about lookinâ like a londoner iâd never know . she laughed at that . sounded like bells . yâknow , i think we were courtinâ something secret . sheâd tell me about all these men her papa went and tried to marry her to -- she said sheâd be a right old spinster , and buy up this farm anâ let me work the land all i liked . said sheâd bake something good for me for lunch . i promised her good olâ highland wine . i think it wouldâve been a nice life .
--- but , aye . she was my first kiss . my last kiss , so far , too . i should go about lookinâ her up and see if she did resign men like she said --- hope she got another nice lass to spoil , at least . â













