god is a woman.

did you hear that betty wilde is currently living in charming, california? they’re a forty-four year old who have been in town for about thirty-one years, and are the manager of mayhem maidens for the wicked wolves. it’s known around town that they’re quite maternal but can also be brutally honest. people in charming always say they’re reminded of betty when thinking of a black convertible with leather seats, sunglasses indoors and black coffee in the mornings, backyard barbeques with loud music, saying ‘its too early for this shit’ no matter what time of day and #1 mom keychain. @charmingextras

Javi: [sends a photo of empty street]

Javi: If you don't see me in 10 minutes assume I died

location: agnostino’s kitchen

“I came to compliment the chef. Is that a thing people do? Or is it a pain in the ass that distracts you from your work?”

location: la luna “Brought you some goodies,” Betty greets, placing the Sephora bag down on the table in front of Alex before taking her seat. 

“You’ve seen Ocean’s 8, right? I tried that trick Sandy Bullock does in the beginning and it totally worked. I can’t believe they let them put shit like that in a movie.”

“yeah, and no matter how many pretty girls are around– there are two times as many dumbass losers trailing not too far behind.” benny huffed out with a shake of his head as he sat back in the chair in betty’s office. “is that why you wanted to talked to me? bets, if your security is walking around smiling, i think it sends off the wrong message.”

Betty pauses, tilting her head to the side and considering. “Fine, I’ll give you that one,” she admits, before leaning forward in her chair. “But at least when you’re in the back looking after the girls -- maybe lighten up a little bit? They got to deal with enough moody men, I want them to trust you so they’re comfortable coming up to you and talking to you if they need it. Be as gloomy and broody with any motherfucker sitting in those seats, but be nice to my girls.”

Javi: Say you're joking, Betts, because if you don't I'll jog in a nanosecond with this damn thing

.

The joke earns a sage nod, replacing a laugh as the woman lights up and continues her story. Yeah, this all checks out. One of her better outings, really, in this town. And if she had the time, she’d likely ask for the details regarding the feud for the sake of gossip.

“Yeah, I can only imagine the situation a decade ago,” she finally muses, only to shake her head as an amused huff tumbles under her breath. “Ass fucking deficit, Jesus…”

Echo couldn’t say Betty Wilde wasn’t entertaining. 

“I’m kinda getting the story that you have a great ass, ma’am, it’s–” She taps her left temple. “–kinda cemented in my noggin, now.” With a sharp inhale and heavy exhale, the detective takes one step closer to the building and gestures towards it. 

“Would it be easier if we just go in together, get the Russian whatever-the-fuck you wanted, and you can leave talking to his wife to me? I’m being serious.”

“It really is the most important part of the story,” Betty explains as she brings the cigarette to her mouth to take another drag. 

Maybe Echo would put it in the police report or something -- she would love certified documentation that she had the best ass in town. Hell, she would frame it and hang it on her office walls. 

Exhaling smoke, Betty taps the ash out on the cement and lifts her chin towards the door. 

“So if little ol’ panties-up-her-ass in there starts throwing a fit, you’re gonna take care of it?”

Javi: So then definitely asked the wrong person. I trust your word lmao

Javi: Yeah I remembered that routine a little too well

Javi: So I saw the record and thought I'd grab it cause it made me think of you

Betty: I remember you being a big fan of that one

Betty: Shit really??

+

“Apologies for that, dude sucks.” Uly says of his father, that being the nicest thing in his armoury when it came to the man. It had been six years since he’s seen him in the flesh, and he had all but told him if he ever saw him again one of them would leave that conversation in a pine box. 

Reaching into his back pocket, he retrieves a dark navy bandana that had been tucked in there in a poor fold, bringing it to his face and tying it at the back so it kept everything from his eyes down concealed. He pulls the hood up of his black hoodie next, stepping backwards towards the liqour store. 

“Nah, served the full one. If I end up back there, you better visit me.” 

He leaves that hanging in the air between them before he disappears into the store with his head turned away from the counter as if he was searching for something specific. He disappeared down the aisle where the fridges were and took out a can of beer, jamming his bike key into the side of it and removing it before he let it drop while he ducked down so he was hidden by shelving. It spun when it hit the floor, a hissing sound emitting from it. 

He waited for the sound of the counter opening and feet moving quick before he jumped the counter himself, taking a bottle of black wax-sealed vodka in each hand. Uly had saw some squiggles on it that he assumed was Russian, and with that he was sprinting for the door, passed Betty in a break for the alley next to the laundromat four doors down and calling behind him as he did. 

“Hope you wore shoes for running.” 

Betty snorts to herself with a cock of her head as she watches him disappear into the liquor store -- the little bell above the door announcing his entry, thinking with some amusement of how even when the boy protested the man, he still looked eerily like his father with a bandana veiled over his jaw. 

Leaning against her car, the redhead glances over her shoulders at the surrounding parking lot like she’s seventeen and playing lookout again, swirling the ring of her keys around her fingers so she’s ready to make a quick escape when he emerges. 

“The hell--” she begins as he races past her in a blurr, watching him disppear down the stretch of storefronts.

“Fucking kids.”

She had, in fact, not worn shoes for running. But luckily she was only wearing heeled boots and not stilettos. 

Betty takes off after Uly in a ginger run, her tight dress and shoes not giving her the advantage of a range of motion. 

“How fucking old do I look to you?” she pants as she joins him in the alley, before holding up a hand to negate his answer. 

“Nevermind -- don’t answer that. Jesus, did you take two?”

biting the inside of her cheek, betty’s words cutting deep as she was someone that had been a major presence in her life, she knew she fucked up. it wasn’t like sofia would ever back down while being scared, that just wasn’t who she was, who she was raised to be. she was just in the same boat as betty and really didn’t want to drive the extra time for her favorite tequila. especially if she was spending the money. “fine, i’m going,” raising her hands up in surrender before making her way into the store.

“Thatta girl, you’re my angel,” Betty calls after Sofia as she retreats into the store, blowing a kiss after her as the bell on the little shop dings. She spends her time idling in the parking lot, checking her nail polish while she leans against the hood of her convertable. “See? Knew I could count on you,” she winks to the younger woman, pulling her ring of keys from her pocket and walking around to the drivers side. “You want a ride to work, hun? We can go through the drive-thru on the way there -- you hungry?”

Javi: Maybe I asked the wrong person or they thought I was a creep. I wasn't exactly dressed the part this go-around

Javi: Don't get too excited lol but yea

Javi: You like Nina Simone? Please say yes

Betty: You couldn't look like a creep no matter what you were wearing.

Betty: Yes!

location: mayhem maidens

“Can you at least try to look like you’re not miserable? You’re surrounded by pretty girls all day, the least you could do is smile.”

Javi: A funny thing happened on the way to the forum

Javi: And by forum, I mean I drove by Maidens to see if you were there. No dice.

Javi: Got ya something real stupid so I have to see you at some point this week

Betty: How'd you manage that? I feel like I'm always here. 😅

.

“Uh-huh. Got some beef.” So this is an interesting way to start her day. For what it’s worth, she doesn’t turn on a heel straight into the store without hearing out the other woman. Mental notes of outrageous drama tucked away for later – this batshit story could only come out from the bowels of Charming, California.

“Gotta say, ma’am, it’s a compelling story. You’d think after ten years, bygones’d be bygones. She really still that hung up or have you not seriously gone to this store in… a decade?”

“Grade A beef, officer. Prime rib, you could even say,” Betty chuckles at her own joke as she places the Virginia Slim cigarette between her lips and motions towards the store on the exhale.

“Not my fault that her husbands an ass man and managed to marry the one woman in this town with an ass deficit, you know? I can see why she’s still bitter about it -- you can still bounce a quarter off my ass, so you can imagine what condition it was in ten years ago.”

She holds her hands up, cigarette still between two fingers, in a gesture of innocence. 

“Scout’s honor, officer, I would never disrespect a business owner in such a way,” she grins, winking before letting out a laugh. 

“Nah, I go in when her husband is working. He’s always real happy to see me come and watch me leave -- if you catch my drift.”