why are(nt) we here (anymore)?

@slaughterhousefive u outside?

You bet your ass I am

i just went to cool town and they said they knew u

i also just went to dehydrated town and they said you are a hometown legend

Currently pulling apart my lip 🥰

You were unlike the saints and saintesses of other nations. You granted no miracles, and didn't heal any illnesses. They didn’t know when they banished you in favor of a new saint that you had been pouring every fiber of your being into a blessing of protection for the nation your entire life.

"Trust me, he won't let you take him alive." "Is he really that dangerous?" "What? Oh, no, this guy just has the worst luck I've ever seen. I once watched him fall down some stairs and accidentally pull the pin out of every grenade the agents we sent had."

The apocalypse wasn’t caused by the zombie’s bite, instead it was them talking. "Dead men tell no tales" but they aren't dead anymore.

She's dead. YOU KNOW she's dead; you saw her body at the funeral. When you kept seeing her everywhere, you chalked it up to grief. But this time, you have photo evidence. That’s definitely her.

It's the zombie... not so much apocalypse, as mild to moderate inconvenience.

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

this pot im watching never boils kind of annoying

Try turning on the stove

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I do not feel fly like a G6 and have not for a very long time