I’ve kinda had enough of people saying that when you crush on a teacher, it’s a fetish. Yes, to some people that might be the case, some fantasy that is uniquely focused on a sexual manner. But to others, and most I might add, it is the occurrence of actual human feelings, raw emotion.

If there’s something I’ve learned over the years is that love happens, especially when you least expect it. I, for once, am more than aware of what stands between me and this crush of mine, of the consequences, of everything that makes it so “weird” to other people. But I did not ask to fall for anyone, I did not force my feelings, I did not wake up one day and decide I would have a crush on my teacher.

And sparing myself of any heartbreak or consequences on both ends, I have tried to get over him, just as I’ve done with my previous crushes and I’ve failed. It doesn’t get any easier just because “it’s a teacher” and you know why? Because I see him as a human being.

Take away his job, his title, his position, his authority. He is a human being that breathes and walks and speaks and dreams and feels and thinks. I’m not saying that his profession should be dismissed had I thought of “making a move” — which I will not, — but what so many people forget is that that person is a regular human being. Is there an age difference? Yes. Is it big? Small? Depends. I’m not condoning or encouraging anyone to put themselves or their teachers in dangerous positions, mind the circumstances, I’m just saying that those feelings aren’t always seen as a fetish or a joke. Those feelings are valid if they are pure.

And a crushing majority of us in the TC community know boundaries, know limits, know what to do and not to do. In this community we are not looking for people to tell us that we should go after it, that they love us and we should take the jump. We are looking for support, for a sense of belonging, for understanding. Being able to talk to people about something you have to keep for yourself most of the time takes a huge weight off your shoulders. To know that someone out there understands makes it a lot easier, because not a lot of people do.

I’m trying to say that our feelings are valid, just as everyone else’s are. I am not one to shame someone for the type of person they go after. I have my preferences, I find some things odd too, but it’s not my place to put someone down for anything. People need to understand that having a crush on a teacher DOES NOT mean we want to have sex with them, hurt them in any way, jeopardise their personal and professional lives. That is a generalisation and if I’m correct, we’ve been fighting pretty hard to put a stop to those.

You may not understand it or agree to it, and that’s fine, but I’m just asking for respect. Because having someone tell me that my feelings are “disgusting”, “a joke”, “stupid”, hurts a hell of a lot more than people think. These feelings are not something we take lightheartedly, it’s something that weighs heavy upon us most of the time. And I can tell you, nobody in the world would willingly want to put themselves through the hopelessness and the blur that we feel sometimes.

It is not a choice, please know that. A choice, however, is how we deal with it. And as I’ve said, most of us do not act upon what we feel because we respect both ends and don’t want to hurt the other person in any way. We know our limits.